Love You Through It
by Little.Miss.Chloe
Summary: Spencer Anderson and Noah Puckerman had never really gotten along. But, four years after high school Puck will be there to take care of her when she really needs it. But will the timing ever truly be right? PuckxOC. Rated M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a head's up ... I am fully aware that the Glee club didn't graduate in 2008, but in this case they did.

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><p>"Puck!" Finn called as he and Rachel made their way across the barn toward one of his best friends from high school. It was Thanksgiving break during their senior year of college and everyone from the William McKinley class of 2008 had decided to meet at a barn outside of town to hang out and have a bit of a reunion. The class had been doing this since their freshmen year. Finn had never really liked going to them, but Rachel loved them. She loved to walk into the barn and show everyone from their class who had said that she and Finn wouldn't make it that they were wrong. She loved to talk about how well she was doing in school and what play she was working on. Finn hated it, but he loved Rachel so he went with her and tried to have a good time. He was always happy to see Puck though, they got through these lame get togethers together.<p>

"Finn Hudson," Puck said with a chuckle, as he pushed himself off of the stall door he had been leaning against and held his hand out to his friend. The two boys pulled each other into a one-armed man hug before letting go and stepping away from each other. A girl coughed politely from behind Puck's freakishly tall friend and Puck smiled when he saw Rachel step out from behind her boyfriend. "And how are you doing, Berry?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Good, and yourself?" Rachel asked politely. Puck chuckled and held his arms open for the small girl, silently asking her for a hug. She smiled, the cold politeness quickly dropping from her face as she stepped into his arms. "I've missed you, Noah," the brunette whispered before pulling away from him. "Now really, how have you been?"

"I've been alright," Puck said with a nod. He was about to ask Rachel about her plays because he highly doubted that she would be interested in hearing about the engine that he was currently rebuilding when he looked up at the front door of the barn and all thoughts of polite conversation left his mind when he saw her. His jaw dropped.

Rachel looked at his face and turned to look behind her at the front door of the barn. "Oh," she said with a smile as she turned back to look at her friend. "She doesn't usually come to these things. You haven't seen her since graduation have you?" Puck quietly shook his head, still staring at the girl who had just entered the barn. Rachel smiled at him again, "She's changed a lot hasn't she?"

Puck shrugged, "I wouldn't know," he said, his brown eyes following the girl across the barn as she went to hug Mike and Tina and say hello before grabbing a beer from the makeshift bar. "But I will say one thing, that graduation robe certainly hid what a hot body she has." The girl in question was currently dressed in a form-fitting, warm looking sweater, skinny jeans, and a pair of knee length purple suede boots. There were girls in the barn that were wearing more revealing clothing, but Puck couldn't take his eyes off of the brunette who was slowly making her way toward his group at the back wall.

"Hey Rach," the girl said with a smile, reaching out to hug the other small brunette with a giggle. "How are you? How was _My Fair Lady_?"

Rachel found herself beaming at the fact that Spencer had remembered what musical she had just wrapped up. "It was good," she practically squealed as Spencer and Finn clinked the tops of their beer bottles together in greeting. "What about you? How is your senior thesis coming along?"

Spencer groaned and threw her head back, Puck watched the way her brown hair danced down her back and found himself licking his lips. Finn cleared his throat and sent his best friend a very pointed look, silently telling him not to do that again. But Finn hadn't been as subtle as he had hoped because a moment later Spencer turned her gaze on Puck. "Puckerman?" she asked.

"Anderson," Puck said with a simple nod before he lifted his beer bottle to his lips and took a swig of the now warm liquid. He tried not to make a face at the warm liquid that was slipping down his throat and the way things had become awkward when Spencer had finally noticed him. As much as he had been hoping that the small brunette would walk over to him, Rachel, and Finn he had not planned what he would say to her once she did. It was common knowledge that he and Spencer had never said more than ten words to each other during the one year they had both been at the same school, even though they had both been in Glee Club together.

Finn cleared his throat, glancing at Rachel to see if she was going to make an attempt to diffuse the awkward tension in the group, but she was busy texting someone on her phone so it seemed as if that particular job would fall on his shoulders. "So Spence," he asked, pulling out her nickname from high school. "What school are you going to again?"

"Brown," Spencer said with a slow nod and a pointed look at Finn that clearly stated that he should have known where she went. Puck would have thought that she was conceited if it were not for the fact that even he remembered how proud and excited Figgins had been when he had found out that he had an Ivy League kid graduating from McKinley. "And before you ask, I'm getting a concentration in music and theater arts performance studies."

"Concentration?" Puck asked raising his eyebrows and spinning around so that he could place his now empty beer bottle on the door of the stall behind him. "What's that?"

"Pretty much it's a major," Spencer said as she took a swig of her beer and rolled her dark blue eyes. "Brown's too good for the word _major_ so it chooses to use concentration instead. It sounds so much more W.A.S.P ish doesn't it?" Puck laughed at her and shook his head, he had never imagined that he would ever get the chance to hear an Ivy Leaguer make fun of their precious school. It was almost refreshing.

"So what are you doing for your Capstone?" Rachel asked, tuning back into the conversation and looking at Spencer expectantly. "What?" she hissed when Finn poked her in the side. She glanced up to see her tall boyfriend giving her a pointed look and sighed, "I was just talking to Kurt," she said, rolling her eyes. "I wanted to know when he and Mercedes were going to get here."

Spencer's eyes and smile tightened for a moment before she answered. Puck looked around the group to see if anyone else had noticed it but it didn't look like it. "I'm doing a final dance performance," she said with a smile. "I've been working with some local teenagers that wanted to learn how to dance, I've taught them some choreography and next semester we're going to put a routine together."

"That's really great," Rachel said with a smile before she began to talk about her latest musical again. Puck watched Spencer closely and realized that the girl relaxed once Rachel had turned the attention away from her. It was as though she had been hoping that no one would pay attention to her. He shook his head, this girl was weird. What girl didn't want people to pay attention to them? The small Jewish girl next to him that was now loudly reenacting her reaction to her most recent standing ovation was perfect proof that girls thrived off of attention. But Spencer seemed most comfortable when people weren't looking at her. This was evidenced five minutes later when Kurt walked over to join the group.

After he had hugged everyone hello Kurt had turned to look at Spencer and placed a well manicured hand on his hip. "Spencer Anderson," he said loudly, ignoring the way the brunette flinched when his statement called the entire group's attention to her. "I think you've gotten smaller since the last time I saw you," Kurt stated. He had driven to Providence to see the brunette a month ago during a long weekend and she had been small then, but it seemed as though she had lost a significant amount of weight since then. "You've dropped what?" he asked, gesturing to the brunette's body, "two dress sizes in a month?"

"It wasn't that much, Kurt," Spencer said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear and trying not to make eye contact with any of the people surrounding her.

"Baby girl," Kurt said softly, "I'm studying fashion. Don't try to fool me, I know dress sizes. You were a five last time I saw you and you're lucky to be a three now." Puck didn't know much about girls' dress sizes, but he knew that two sizes was kind of a big deal to most women. He turned to look at the brunette in front of him, this time as his eyes swept over her body he did not undress her with his eyes, he simply took note of her slim waist and arms. She had never had huge muscles in high school, but her arms had been well-toned. They weren't anymore, he could tell that under the sleeves of her sweater her arms were thin and boney. Had the girl stopped her weight training over the last three and a half years.

Spencer crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "I'm going to go catch up with Santana and Britney," she said softly, smiling as widely as she could manage before walking away from the group and leaving them to wonder what was going on with her without her having to listen to them. She had honestly been hoping that no one would notice that she had lost weight, but she should have known that nothing would escape Kurt's shrewd, fashion-practiced eye.

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Once everyone had realized that Spencer really didn't want to talk about her apparently sudden weight loss she had had a lot of fun. Although she had always been invited she had never gone to one of the class get togethers before. As nice as the New Directions members had always been to her she had always felt different from them. They had grown up together, gone to elementary school together, lived on the same street, had sleep overs together for as long as they could remember and she had just been dropped into their now tight knit group during their senior year. They made her feel accepted and were honestly good friends, but there had always been a distinction between their old friendships and their friendships with her.

But now that she had finally gone to one of the post-graduation get togethers she found herself wishing that she had gone to all the others. She had truly missed being together as a group. It wasn't as though she had avoided her high school friends once she got to college. She met up with at least one member of New Directions fairly often, but it had been three and a half years since she had been with all of them. She had forgotten how good it felt to be part of a group and she was so happy that she got to experience it now.

They spent the night drinking and singing and dancing and talking about what everyone was up to now along with their favorite memories from high school. Spencer could not remember a time that she had laughed so much as she had that night. But all too soon her younger brother, Toby, her sober ride, came to pick her up to bring her home. She had happily hugged all of her friends goodbye, even Puckerman, although that one had felt a bit awkward before she allowed her younger brother to steer her toward the car. "How are you feeling?" he asked her once she was buckled in and they had started driving home.

"Good," Spencer said with a smile as she fiddled with the radio. "I don't know why I'm so drunk though," she said softly, a frown replacing her smile. "I only had like three beers. I used to be able to put down so much more than that."

"That's what happens when you lose a lot of weight," Toby said dryly, shooting his sister a stern look. "Your tolerance goes down."

"Look who's been listening to Mom way too much," Spencer muttered, jokingly glaring at her younger brother. "You don't have to be a smart ass."

Toby smiled for a moment before the smile slipped away from his lips and he frowned at the dark empty road in front of them. "Speaking of Mom," he said softly, glancing at his sister to make sure that she was listening to him. "She wants you up early tomorrow. Made you an appointment with Doctor Henderson."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "She worries too much," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting for a moment. "I just haven't been hungry lately. I don't need to go see Doctor Henderson."

"Sure," Toby said with a nod. "You haven't been hungry lately. You're tired all the time. You sometimes pass out if you stand up for too long..." Spencer turned to glare at her brother, silently asking him how he knew about that. Toby shrugged, "Your roommate called Mom after the fifth time it happened," he said, "I heard Mom talking to Dad about it."

"She called Dad?" Spencer asked, not liking that. Their father didn't need to worry about her, he had enough to worry about.

"They're worried about you," Toby said, staring at his sister. "And so am I. Have you been experiencing any night sweats?" he asked. "Or Dyspnea?"

It broke her heart that her sixteen year old brother knew the word Dyspnea or its definition. She stared at him for a moment before she reached out and gave his hand a small squeeze. "No," she lied, shaking her head and leaving her hand where it was. "And even if I did I wouldn't be telling you."

Toby turned his hand over so that he could hold his sister's small one in his. "And you wonder why Mom worries about you so much," he said softly.

Spencer smiled at him for a moment before she closed her eyes and fell asleep, her hand still resting in his.

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><p>Author's Note: What do you guys think? Interesting yet? Hopefully it is, because I would love to get some opinions on it. If you liked it, review! Constructive criticism is always welcome and reviews make me update faster.<br>Thanks for reading, and check back soon for a new update.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>The next time that Noah Puckerman saw Spencer Anderson was almost three weeks after the night at the barn. He was not surprised that she was home, after all most colleges had gotten out for winter break two days ago, but he had been surprised when he saw her. He was surprised by the fact that he had walked right past her without even recognizing her. He had been walking back to the garage after his lunch break when he had passed the only Starbucks in Lima. A girl had just walked out of the coffee shop and she had caught his eye, but not in the way most girls did. As he approached the girl from the back he figured she was some high school student, she was that small and she was stupid enough to not be wearing a jacket even though it was the middle of December in Ohio. He walked past her, already forgetting about her when something else caught his attention. She spoke when he passed her. But more than that, she said his name. "Noah?" the girl had asked quietly, even that one word had sounded unsure as if she didn't really believe that it was him and prepared to be embarrassed when it wasn't. He turned around and was surprised when he realized he was face to face with Spencer Anderson.<p>

"Spencer?" he asked, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. It had only been three weeks since the last time he saw her and she looked drastically different. Her face was still pretty, but it had lost some of its roundness, it was more pointed and angular now. His eyes swept slowly over her body and he noticed more difference. Her jeans, which had fit just fine at the barn were now baggy on her and her belt was cinched to the last possible hole around her tiny waist. His eyes scanned upward and he realized that the long sleeved shirt that was supposed to be form fitting was a bit baggy as well. His eyes swept over what he knew, thanks to his anatomy class last semester, to be her clavicle bones. He knew that girl clavicle bones tended to stick out more than boy ones but it startled him when he realized that he could have hung a coat hanger in the indentions above Spencer's clavicles.

She crossed her arms in front of her as if trying to shield her body from his eyes before smiling slightly. "I thought that was you," she said softly as she took a step closer to him. "What are you up to?" she asked him as she came to stop right next to him.

"Headed back to work," Puck said, gesturing over his shoulder toward the garage. "Why aren't you wearing a coat by the way?" he asked as the two started to walk toward his garage without ever vocalizing that as the plan. When he had thought that Spencer was just some high schooler he had figured that she wasn't wearing a coat because she thought she looked better without one, but Spencer had always been smart. She wouldn't do something stupid like that.

"Would you believe I gave it to the coat drive up the road?" Spencer asked with a smile as she subconsciously moved closer to Puck so that she could feel some of his body heat.

Puck studied her for a moment before he shook his head. "I hear that they're pretty desperate for coats up there, but I doubt they'd be desperate enough to take the coat off your back. Especially when it's borderline below freezing today." Spencer nodded and looked around them, squinting when the sun got in her eyes but not responding to Puck's gentle prodding. He sighed before deciding that being blunt was probably the best way to get an answer out of her. "What's going on Spence?" he asked, flinching when he heard how awkward the nickname sounded on his lips, he had never called her that while they were in high school.

"Just had to get out of my house," Spencer said after a moment. "My mom's crazy and she's really worried about my dad. It was just ... too much."

Puck nodded, he had heard about Spencer's father in Temple last week. Spencer's family was not Jewish, but her father was a bit of a hero in the town of Lima. He was a Commander in the United States Navy and had been sent on an eighteen month tour six months ago. Apparently last week, his team or platoon, whatever they were called had gotten into a bit of trouble and Spencer's mom hadn't heard from him in days. "Is he okay?" Puck asked, "Has your mom heard from him?"

Spencer nodded, "Two days ago. He's fine, can't tell her what happened, but he's fine. She's still worried about him though. Hasn't slept a full night in about a month and now with him gone, and the holidays, and me ..." Spencer stopped short when she realized she was rambling and hoped that Puck wouldn't notice that she had just admitted that her mother was worried about her. "Anyway, it's just all driving her crazy and she in turn was driving me crazy. I had to get out, so ... I left."

"It was that bad that you left without a coat or hat?" Puck asked as they walked into the garage. He wasn't sure if Spencer was allowed on the floor, but his boss was gone for the day and he wasn't about to kick her out. What his boss didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"I was in a rush," Spencer said with a shrug. "I even left my cell phone. I was just stalling in Starbucks until I decided that it was time to go home. Don't really want to give her more to worry about, you know?" Puck nodded as he looked at the girl for a moment before he sighed and walked over to his locker. He would have given her the coat he was wearing now, but it was covered in grease so instead he pulled out the leather jacket he had worn that morning when he came into work and made to hand it to her. She shook her head, her brown, wavy locks flying. "I wasn't looking for charity Noah," she said softly. "You don't have to give me your jacket because you feel bad for me. I have this," she added, holding up a Starbucks cup that Puck hadn't noticed.

But he shook his head and draped the coat over her shoulders. He knew she wasn't looking for charity and that he was probably the last person she'd want it from, but he also wasn't about to let her freeze. "That coffee?" he asked, remembering her borderline addiction to caffeine during their senior year. She shook her head and made to take the leather jacket off of her shoulders, but a pointed look from Puck stopped her and instead she slipped her arms though the sleeves of the jacket so that she was wearing it properly. "Better," Puck said with a nod before returning to his question about her beverage. "Graduated from coffee to warmed up Redbull?" he asked her.

Again she shook her head, "Hot chocolate actually," she said with a small smile gracing her lips. "I've been trying to stay away from caffeine lately. It's not very healthy." Something about her statement didn't quite strike as truth to Puck's ears, but he knew better than to ask. From the conversations he had had with Spencer during high school he knew that if she didn't want to talk about something or explain it she wouldn't. And if someone tried to push her into talking or explaining she would simply shut down. He was silent for a moment before Spencer spoke up. "I think my brother has a thing for your sister," she said softly.

"For Sarah?" Puck asked, completely surprised by Spencer's whispered confession. He stared at her for a moment before he chuckled and shook his head. "Toby?" he asked as if trying to make sure that Spencer didn't have another little brother that she had been hiding from the world. Spencer smiled at him as she nodded. "How do you figure that?" Puck asked, trying to understand the girl's though process. He was here all year and he hadn't caught on.

"She's all he's talked about since I got back," Spencer said with a shrug. "Sarah this and Sarah that. And _today in class Sarah said_ ... He thinks he's being sly about it. Keeps trying to tell my mom that they're just friends. But they've been friends since we moved here and he's never talked this much about her before, even when he first met her."

"Isn't he a bit too old for her?" Puck asked, frowning as his protective big brother streak came to the surface.

"He's six months older than her, Noah," Spencer said with a laugh as she took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Last I checked that's not even close to _too old_."

Puck nodded. "Well you just make sure that he knows that I don't like when Sarah's upset. And if he hurts her I will have to kick his bony little ass."

"You tell Sarah the same thing from me," Spencer said with an almost friendly smile.

"You beat anyone up?" Puck asked with a chuckle as he began to clean up his tools from the last car he had worked on. If he was lucky no one else would come in that day and he'd be able to cut out early. "I saw those chicken legs you're trying to pass off as arms. You couldn't kick a five year old's ass."

Spencer tried to look upset before she started laughing. But her laughter quickly died when a mid-sized SUV pulled up in front of the garage. Puck cursed under his breath and told Spencer that he had been hoping to cut out early when she shot him a questioning look. But she had simply smiled and shook her head. "You might still be able to," she said softly, "that's my mom's car." Puck nodded as the driver's door opened and Mrs. Anderson walked out of the car and into the garage. "Hi Mom," Spencer said softly, internally flinching when she saw the look on her mother's face and praying that the woman wouldn't embarrass her.

"Spencer Emilia Anderson," her mother scolded as soon as she was within hearing range. Spencer visibly flinched this time, it was already too late to save herself from embarrassment. "What are you doing here?" her mother asked, not seeming to have noticed Puck's presence as she began to scold her almost adult daughter. "You had me so worried it's freezing and you left without your coat and your phone was in your room. What if there had been an emergency? You wouldn't have been able to call me. You need to have your phone on you at all times."

Puck found himself wondering what kind of emergency could happen to Spencer when she was on Main Street in Lima Ohio. Main Street was the busiest road in town and it was only four lanes. Spencer smiled at him, but it almost looked like a wince before she turned to her mom. "Mom?" she asked softly, before she nodded toward Puck. "Do you remember Noah Puckerman? He was in Glee club with me senior year?"

"Of course," Stacey Anderson said with a nod in Puck's direction. "How are you Noah?" she asked, but before Puck even had a chance to respond she had already turned back to her daughter. "Spencer?" she asked, her voice sounding almost deadly. "Is that caffeine?"

"Hot chocolate," Spencer said quickly, holding the cup out so that her mother could inspect it if she needed to. "I know I'm not supposed to drink caffeine anymore, Mom."

"Good, because Doctor Hender -" Stacey started before Spencer interrupted her.

"I know, Mom."

Her mother nodded again before she gestured toward the car. "Well let's go," she said in a tone that was softer than the one she had been using before. "We don't want to be late for your appointment."

Spencer nodded before walking over to Puck and slipping out of his jacket. "Thanks for the jacket and the conversation, Puckerman," she said softly as she handed it back to him. "You're not as bad as you used to be."

"Thanks," Puck said slowly, "I think."

"I'll see you around?" Spencer asked as she began to walk back to her mom's car, she turned her head so that she could look at him over her right shoulder. He nodded. Hell, she could see him tonight if she wanted to. There was something about her that seemed exciting, mysterious - and he wanted to figure it out. She smiled softly at him before she raised her hand to wave goodbye to him and climbed into the passenger seat of her mother's SUV. Puck watched as Stacey tried to say something soothing as she reached out to brush some of Spencer's hair out of her eyes, but Spencer slapped her mother's hand away from her face before turning in her seat so that she could glare out the passenger window.

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"You know," her mother said the second the car was moving. "I don't like this anymore than you do Spencer Emilia, but you don't see me running away from home in the middle of the winter because of it."

"Of course I don't," Spencer muttered, pressing her forehead against the cool glass of the car window. "Because you always get your way." She turned and took in her mother's heartbroken face before she sighed and tried to soften the blow. "I'm sorry, Ma," she said softly. "I just ... I wish you and Doctor Henderson would listen to what I want sometimes."

Stacey nodded for a moment, taking in her daughter's words before sighing and shaking her head. "I'm just not ready to give up yet, Sweetheart, and you shouldn't be either."

"I'm not giving up," Spencer said softly. "I'm just tired."

"I know you are, Baby, I know you are," Stacey cooed. But even though she seemed to be agreeing with Spencer the young brunette knew that nothing was going to change. Her mother might have a brief flash of understanding, but it would disappear before Spencer could count to ten.

"How did you find me anyway?" she asked, deciding to change the subject. It was easier to do that than to continue the argument they had been having all week.

"One of Toby's friends saw you walking into the garage with, Noah was it?" Spencer nodded, her mother nodded in return. "He texted Toby to let him know where you were."

"So Tob's got his friends spying on me?" Spencer asked, even more irritated with her mother than she had been before.

"No," Stacey said, shaking her head. "When he realized that you had left your phone at home he had texted them to ask if anyone had seen you. One of them had. He wasn't spying, he was helping."

"Call it whatever you want, but it was spying," Spencer muttered under her breath.

"So is this Noah the same Noah that you had a crush on in high school?" Stacey asked, this time it was her who was changing the subject instead of her daughter. Spencer nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "He's cute," Stacey said with an approving nod. "Although, he works at an auto shop, shouldn't he be at school like the rest ..." her voice dropped off, before she could finish her sentence, she was drifting into dangerous territory and she knew it.

"Did it ever occur to you that some people can't afford to go to school right out of high school?" Spencer asked, snapping at her mother in Puck's defense. Her mother nodded and began to say something about how he could at least try before Spencer interrupted her. "He went to Lima Community College and got his Associate's degree," she said softly. "He's been taking more classes over the last two years while he works at the auto shop to save up to go to school."

"Oh," her mother said brightening almost instantly. "You mean that he's going to be here this spring?" Spencer nodded. "You should hang out with him, Honey." Spencer sent her mother a look that silently told her mother to stop talking and that she had considered hanging out with Puck already. Her mother nodded. "I mean ... after Christmas break. You should hang out with him after Christmas break."

Spencer sighed and rolled her eyes, "I'll consider that, Mom. Thanks for the suggestion."

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><p>Author's Note: I'm a little bit excited about this story so I decided to update again.<br>What do you think? Please review and let me know what you think! Pretty please?  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"Have you guys seen Spencer recently?" Santana asked three nights later as she threw herself into a seat at their usual table. Lima, Ohio wasn't a big town, but when it came to dive bars, there were a few of them. Even though the entire group was now twenty-one they still frequented one dive bar just outside the Lima city limits that had never had a problem with selling them alcohol when they were underage, which is why they were still there now. Santana glanced around the table at faces staring at her, "Well have you?" she asked before pointing at Finn and then jabbing her thumb over her shoulder toward the bar, silently telling him to go get her a drink. Finn sighed, but got up and did as she wanted, that was the easiest way to deal with Santana after all. Everyone around the table nodded, silently telling Santana that they had seen her recently. "Yeah," the Latina said a moment later, "she's gone a bit overboard with the anorexia don't you think? I mean, I'm all for a bit of it if it keeps you from being a fat cow, but she's taken it way too far."<p>

"And what do you think we should do about it?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her girly pink drink before turning to look at Puck as if he knew all the answers. "What do you think Noah?" Noah raised his eyebrows at her, silently asking her why she seemed to think that he would know what to do. "Well," she said after a sigh, "You have the most experience with women, after Santana of course," she added, nodding her head toward the smiling Latina, "but you are less likely to be cruel. So what should we do?"

"Hell if I know," Puck said, shrugging his shoulders and trying not to look uncomfortable with the conversation. Of course he had noticed that Spencer was smaller than she had been when he saw her over Thanksgiving break, but he wasn't sure if it was something the group needed to get involved with. Maybe it was just stress, from the way she had talked at the barn last month she had a lot on her plate at the moment. "Does it really need to be addressed at all?" he asked.

"Hell yeah it does," Santana said. She gestured at Britney and Quinn. "Brit, Q, and I ran into her at the mall today. And when she walked away we could count the twenty-four points on the back of her spine. And yes, we really did count them." Britney and Quinn nodded in silent agreement.

"Maybe we should ask her roommates and friends at Brown about it?" Mercedes asked softly. "See if they noticed anything."

"That's doubtful," Sam said, shaking his head as he finished his own beer. "If they didn't care enough to stop her from getting to this point they probably don't care enough now to try to help her. Or to help us help her." The table was silent for a moment as they all thought about what the blonde had said before Puck noticed that Kurt looked nervous and seemed to be practically dancing in his seat. He raised his eyebrows in Kurt's direction, drawing everyone's attention to the smaller guy.

Kurt let out a noise that sounded like something between a hum and a squeak before he sighed. "I told myself I was going to ask her about this before I mentioned this to you guys. But, I gotta tell you. She's not going to Brown anymore." Everyone at the table drew back in surprise. Several of the girls said _what?_ in a way that sounded remarkably like they were angry at the news they had just received. Kurt nodded, "I went down to visit her two weeks ago. It's been a tradition for us since the end of fall semester freshmen year, you know how stressed she used to get during finals in high school? So I would drive from New York the weekend before finals and we'd go shopping to blow off some steam and relax before finals. I didn't call her to let her know I was coming, because it's a tradition after all. But she wasn't there and her roommate had no idea where she was. I went and asked her friends, I thought that maybe she and her roommate had gotten in a fight or something and she was staying with one of her friends, but they all told me the same thing, that they hadn't seen or heard from her since she left to come home for Thanksgiving break."

"But where's she been?" Quinn asked, her eyebrows pushed together in confusion. "If she hasn't been at school, I mean."

Kurt nodded again, "My questions gave one of her friends that works in the administration office the push she needed to look up Spencer's student status. She turned in all of her finals online from Lima." He nodded when the group seemed surprised by this news. "And get this, she's registered as an online student next semester. She won't even been on campus."

"But what about her capstone?" Rachel asked, concern shining in her eyes. "How is she going to teach the inner-city teens the dance if she's here and they're there. How's she going to do her dance routine?"

"She changed her capstone," Kurt said with a sad shake of his head. "She's writing an essay now. And you know how much she hated writing essays in high school."

"Do you think her mother knows that she's made all of these changes?" Rachel asked at the same time that Britney blurted, "Maybe she eloped!"

Puck shook his head at Britney, "She definitely didn't elope," he said harshly. Britney turned to look at him, the look on her face clearly saying, _well how would you know?_ "I talked to her three days ago," Puck said with a shrug. "She didn't seem that happy, she didn't mention eloping, and there were no rings on her finger real or fake. She didn't elope."

"Shh," Santana hissed a moment later as Finn came back with her drink and she gestured toward the door of the bar that Spencer had just walked through. The group got really quiet as Spencer walked closer to it. Puck let out what could only be described as a sigh of relief when he noticed that tonight Spencer was wearing not only a coat, but a hat and a pair of gloves as well. "Hey guys," she said with a soft smile as she slid into the empty seat next to Sam. "What are you talking about?"

"We were taking bets on whether or not you were actually going to show up," Finn said with a friendly smile as he extended his fist across the table to her so that they could bump fists. Spencer laughed as Finn made his fist _explode_. "And you just won me thirty bucks, I was the only one who thought that you'd show." It was a simple lie, a believable one, and as it turned out it was the only thing the group needed to break the ice. Soon they were all talking about their finals, their plans for Christmas break, their plans for karaoke that night, and anything else that came to mind. The entire group was able to momentarily forget their questions about Spencer's school and health and they all managed to have fun.

An hour and three Jack and Cokes later Spencer was sitting in her chair laughing at one of Sam's Sean Connery impressions, something that had improved since high school when Puck walked up and sat in the chair next to her, throwing the book of karaoke songs in front of her. "So what do you say, Anderson?" he asked, nodding toward the book as he shoved his hands in his pant pockets. "One song for old time's sake?" he asked, alluding to the fact that Mr. Schue had always had the two sing together because they had great harmony. It hadn't mattered to their choir teacher that the two didn't seem to like each other, all that had mattered was that they sounded good. Spencer stared at him for a moment before, to both of their surprise she nodded. She reached out for the book, but Puck quickly slapped her hand away, "Already picked one!"

"Then why did you bring me the book?" Spencer asked as Puck grabbed her arm and pulled her up tot he karaoke machine. Puck smirked at her but didn't answer her as he punched the code into the machine and handed a microphone to her. "What if I don't know the song?" she asked him as Santana cupped her hands around her mouth and hooted for her two friends on stage.

"Trust me," Puck said with a smile, "you know the song. Plus, that's why the words flash on the screen."

Spencer rolled her eyes at him and muttered smart ass under her breath before the opening notes of the song began to play and she all but squealed when she realized what song he had picked. She turned to look at Puck and he nodded with a smile on his face, letting her know that he had done it on purpose. It was the last song they had ever sung together, one that Mr. Schue hadn't forced them to sing, but one that they had decided to sing together as their ode to New Directions. Their group in the back corner began to cheer ecstatically as they began to sing; it took Spencer a bit longer to really get into the song than Puck had thought it would, but by the time they started to sing the second verse she was dancing around the stage and getting the other people at the bar involved in the song. He would have thought she was making a fool out of herself if she hadn't been great at what she was doing.

"You can trust me not to drink,  
>And not to sleep around,<br>And if you don't expect too much from me,  
>You might not be let down.<p>

'Cause all I really want's to be with you,  
>And feel like I matter too,<br>If I didn't blow the whole thing years ago,  
>I might be here with you.<p>

Tomorrow we can drive around this town,  
>And let the cops chase us around,<br>The past is gone but something might be,  
>Found to take it's place,<br>Hey jealousy,  
>Hey jealousy,<br>Hey jealousy,  
>Hey jealousy."<p>

The small crowd at the bar was honestly enjoying their performance and Puck had to admit that he was having more fun than he thought he would have. But then again, he had thought that she would say no to singing with him in the first place. Spencer turned her head and smiled at him, sending a wink in his direction as she deviated from the lyrics on the screen in front of them for her last lines of the song. Puck had expected it because she had done the same thing in high school. He sang the lines as they appeared on the screen, _Listen to my heart, there's only one thing I can start_. While Spencer sang, "You know it might not be that bad, you were the best I ever had." They both held the note for an extra beat before lowering the microphones away from their mouths and smiling at the cheering crowd. Spencer began to move off the stage when Puck reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back onto the stage and gently pushing her in front of him so that she could bask in the attention of the still cheering crowd. Spencer gave a goofy bow and a pretend curtsy before pulling Puck off the stage and back toward their table.

"You look like you had fun," Rachel said with a smile as the pair sat down at the table.

Spencer smiled, "What can I say, we're the best this bar's ever had."

"That is until I get up on the stage," Rachel said with a smile before she headed up to the stage to sing. Puck turned back to see Spencer smiling and cheering for their brunette friend and he found himself wondering how she could act so normal and happy when, from what he and his friends had discovered earlier her entire life was falling apart.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Did you have fun?" Toby asked two hours later when he arrived outside of the bar to pick his sister up. Spencer nodded as she climbed into the passenger seat of her brother's car and buckled her seat belt. "Good," Toby said with a nod, "you deserve it after the week you've had. Although, if I were you I'd try to hide how drunk you are from Mom when you get home."

"She's still awake?" Spencer asked with a groan as she rolled her eyes. "That woman needs to stop worrying. I know what I'm doing." Toby was silent for a bit, making Spencer think that she hadn't even spoken at all, maybe she was more drunk than she had thought.

"She thinks you're trying to kill yourself," Toby said softly a minute, turning to face his older sister for the briefest moment before turning back to the road. It had been a short look, but Spencer had been able to see the tears that were shining in her brother's eyes. She started to say his name, but he shook his head. "You're not?" he asked, turning to look at her again for a second before turning back to the road. "Right, Spence? You're not?"

Spencer stared at her brother for a moment, and for the second time in a month he broke her heart. Toby was sixteen years old; he should have been worried about girls and homework and video games. He shouldn't be worried about his older sister destroying her body. She sighed, when had Toby stopped being a kid and started being a man? She looked at him his hands at ten and two on the steering wheel, his eyes not daring to leave the road for more than a second, driving five miles below the speed limit. She knew that he was not always such a safe driver, that he was driving like this because she was in the car and that bothered her more than it should have. Her sixteen year old brother was changing his habits to keep her safe because he didn't trust her not to do it herself. That's why he always volunteered to be her sober ride home, he didn't trust her not to try to drive herself in an attempt to just end it.

"Pull over," she said softly a moment later. Toby slowed down even more so that he could turn and look at his sister for a longer moment without worrying about the road in front of him, but he didn't pull over. "Damnit Toby," she cursed shaking her head, "I told you to pull over the car." The urgency in her voice struck a nerve and her brother jumped to action, signaling that he was going to pull the car over before quickly pulling off to the side of the road. He asked Spencer if she was going to be sick but she ignored his question and unbuckled her seatbelt before wrapping her arms around her brother and pulling him into a tight hug, practically crushing him against her small frame. It took him a moment before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She smiled and pulled away slightly so that she could kiss his forehead and smooth his hair away from his face. "I promise you Tob, I'm not trying to kill myself. Not only would that be incredibly selfish, but it would be a complete waste of effort. This thing's doing a fine job on its own, it doesn't need any help from me." Toby sniffed out a brief chuckle before telling his sister that her attempt at a joke was not funny. She smiled before she kissed his forehead one more time, "I love you baby brother," she said softly. "And I promise you that I'm sticking around as long as possible. I'm not giving up."

"Mom thinks you are," Toby pointed out, still not unwrapping his arms from around his sister's waist. He wasn't ready to let go of her yet.

Spencer smiled into his hair for a moment before she pulled away. "I've learned that mom's more determined to help me when she thinks I've given up," she said softly; it was a lie, there had been times during her life when she had seriously considered giving up, but her younger brother didn't need to know that. "It's a survival mechanism." Toby smiled at her and shook his head before he pressed a kiss of his own into her forehead and told her to buckle up before he put the car in drive and continued to drive them home.

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><p>Author's Note: So you guys still don't know what's wrong with Spencer. But if you've been reading carefully there are some hints. I think you'll be able to figure it out in the next installment.<br>Not going to make you guys guess for too long. That would be mean.  
>Anyway, if you think you have an idea about what's wrong with her. I'd love to hear your ideas.<br>And constructive criticism ... I'd love to hear (well read) that as well.  
><strong>SO SEND ME SOME REVIEW LOVE.<strong>  
>Hope you guys liked this chapter!<br>Thanks to _Dalonega Nooquisi_ for my first review!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Noah Puckerman had just finished removing the choke linkages from a busted carburetor when he heard someone walk into the garage behind him. He turned to see Spencer standing in the middle of the garage with her hands shoved in the back pockets of her jeans. "Hey Noah," she said softly as she took an uncertain step closer to him. Puck smiled as he gestured for her to walk closer. It had been a week since the night at the bar, but he had been seeing a lot of Spencer since then and he was pretty sure that he could almost call them friends. "What are you up to?" she asked him softly.<p>

"Rebuilding a carburetor," he said with a smile, noticing the grimace on her face - his one clue that she had no idea what he was talking about. "Do you want to help?" he asked softly, gesturing that she should continue to walk closer to him.

"Won't I break it?" she asked once she was standing right next to him at his work bench.

Puck laughed and shook his head, "It's already broken, babe," he said as he gently put his hands on her waist and pulled her in between his legs so that she was standing between him and his workbench. "You can't do that much to mess it up." Spencer turned her head to smile at him for a moment before telling him to tell her what to do. He handed her a toothbrush and his can of spray cleaner and told her to start to gently clean the different parts of the machine in front of the,

She smiled as she sprayed the cleaner onto the metal and used the toothbrush to scrub at it. "If I had known that I was going to be used as a cleaning service I wouldn't have come," she said softly. Puck chuckled and shook his head as she continued to clean, he took this time to actually look at her. He had been doing that a lot recently. In fact all of the former New Directions students had been. They were looking for anything that could hint as to why she had decided not to go back to Brown without telling anyone, and why she was losing so much weight recently.

Puck was pleased to see that she didn't seem to have lost anymore drastic weight since the last time he had seen her, but there was something off about her. Her coloring didn't look right, she was too pale and every once in a while she would flinch if she moved too suddenly. His eyes scanned over her face, down to her neck, and finally to her arms. It had been unseasonably warm that day and she had decided to wear a short sleeved shirt. The short sleeves made it easy for Puck to see all of the bruises that peppered both of her arms. He swallowed hard, not liking any of the images that flashed into his head as he imagined all the ways a twenty-one year old girl could get bruises like that, all of the images involved an abusive boyfriend that Puck was pretty sure he was going to have to beat the shit out of. She leaned forward to reach for another part of the carburetor and Puck actually let out a growl when her shirt rose a few inches above her hip and he saw the dark angry bruise that covered her too-noticeable hip bone. "Noah?" she asked, startled by the noise that had erupted from his throat. "Did I do something wrong?"

He shook his head, deciding that it probably wasn't best to ask her about the bruises. She would just shut down like she always did when shit got too personal. "I was just wondering how you got here," he said softly, nodding to the door that led to the small parking lot outside the garage. "Your car's not here."

"Toby dropped me off," Spencer said softly. "He was headed over to your house to hang out with Sarah so he said if you drove me to your house he would drive me home. It seemed like a good plan. Although I'm pretty sure the only reason he drove me was so that he could use me as an excuse for staying with your sister for a bit longer." Puck smiled, Toby was one smart kid.

"Reminds me of something I would have done in high school," Puck said as he leaned forward, a hand on either side of spencer's small body, so that he could help her clean some of the smaller pieces of the carburetor.

"As if Noah Puckerman ever needed an excuse to stay longer at a girl's house," Spencer said with a laugh. "I bet that nine times out of ten you were actually trying to find excuses that would allow you to leave."

"That's probably more like it," Puck said with a nod and a smile. The two continued to joke around and needle each other for the next forty-five minutes as Puck taught her how to rebuild the carburetor. Once they were done he took it completely apart and had Spencer rebuild it by herself without his help. She had done pretty well, only messing up once, but toward the end of the rebuilding he realized that her responses to his jokes were a lot slower and her hands had begun to shake. "Spence?" he asked softly, wondering what was wrong. She had finished the carburetor, only needing his help once, but instead of the excited squeak he had thought he would hear he was greeted by an almost painful silence. "Are you okay?" he asked, placing his hands on her hips and slowly turning the small girl around to face him. Spencer nodded slowly, silently telling him that she was okay, but a moment later she clapped her hand over her mouth and pushed her way out of his arms, running toward the attached bathroom as if her life depended on it.

Noah Puckerman had never been the type to imagine himself ever holding a girl's hair back while she threw up. The entire concept seemed absolutely disgusting to him, but as he watched Spencer rush toward the bathroom he had stood up and followed her. He didn't make it to the bathroom in time to hold her hair back the first time she threw up, but he was there soon after.

Spencer was kneeling on the floor, one hand bracing herself against the toilet while the other pulled her hair back to make sure that she didn't get any vomit in her hair. She looked utterly miserable and Puck knew that he had to help her, no matter how gross it was. He slowly walked further into the bathroom before he sat down on the ground next to her, gently pulling her hair out of her hand so that he could hold it. Spencer let out a groan of embarrassment. She wanted to believe that she was dreaming this and that Noah Puckerman was not holding her hair for her while she puked her guts out in the toilet at his garage. But when she opened her eyes he was still there. "You don't have to stay for this," she said softly, fighting the nausea in her stomach.

"I know," Puck said with a nod, but instead of getting up and leaving as she had expected, or even hoped he reached out his other hand and began to rub small circles into her spine. She flinched for a moment in surprise before she almost seemed to lean back into his touch, it felt nice. But just as she was beginning to relax again another wave of nausea hit her and she was leaning over the toilet again, praying that she wasn't freaking Puck out too much.

She puked another two times before she was finally sure that she was done. Puck only left her side once and that was to grab her a water bottle and a piece of gum once she was sure that she would be able to keep the two substances down. He walked back into the bathroom to find her curled onto the tile floor sobbing uncontrollably. He quickly sat back down on the ground and pulled her into his lap. He rocked her back and forth and whispered soothing words in her ear just like he used to do for Sarah before she got too big to tell her brother about her nightmares. And when she had finally calmed down he handed her the water and the gum. She took a slow cautious sip of the water and swished it around in her mouth before putting the piece of gum in her mouth. "Better?" Puck asked. She nodded, a small apologetic smile resting on her lips as she looked at anything besides him. "Is this why you're not going back to Brown this semester?" Puck asked, finally letting her know that he knew about what had happened at Brown. Her blue eyes widened in surprise for a moment before she nodded.

"Does your mom know?" Puck asked, wondering how she planned to keep this a big secret when she apparently was going to spend a great deal of time puking for the next nine months. Spencer nodded again, closing her eyes as if she was expecting Puck to yell at her or something. "And she's okay with it?" Puck asked, surprised. He knew that if a twenty-one year old Sarah came home pregnant his mother would not be okay with it.

Spencer shook her head, "But there's really nothing she can do about it," she said softly with a shrug. "We just have to deal."

"The drinking probably doesn't help," Puck said, shooting the small brunette a pointed look. Spencer raised her eyebrows, wondering why Puck looked so angry at her. Puck sighed, "Look," he said softly as Spencer climbed out of his lap and sat on the floor next to him. "My dad was a dead beat. He drank a lot and it pretty much destroyed my family. I can't even imagine what damage it would do if a mother drank."

"My mom doesn't drink," Spencer said, shaking her head. "Well, I mean, she does, but not excessively. Like wine on special occasions or something."

"But you do," Puck said with another pointed look, "and it's very dangerous in your condition." Spencer stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowing before she asked him what exactly he thought her condition was. "You're pregnant aren't you?" Puck asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That was morning sickness or whatever, and the reason you left Brown was so that no one would know that you were pregnant."

Spencer stared at him for a moment before she burst out laughing. It was another two minutes before she could finally force her laughter to stop so that she could speak. "I'm not pregnant, Puckerman," she said softly. "Not even close. Is that what everyone's saying about me?" Puck asked her why she had thrown up then and she shook her head. Not because she couldn't answer, not that she really wanted to, but because she was feeling nauseous again. Before Puck could even say anything she had quickly lunged toward the toilet again so that she wouldn't throw up on the floor, or worse on Puck. He followed her and held her hair for her while she dry heaved for about five minutes before she decided that nothing was going to come up, she probably didn't have anything in her stomach anymore.

"Then why are you puking?" Puck asked once she had moved a bit away from the toilet and taken another sip of water.

She took a deep breath and he noticed just how tired she looked, like she hadn't slept properly in weeks. "It's the chemo," she whispered, barely audible, but since the garage was so quiet he heard every terrifying word. But before he could even process what she had told him she clapped her hand over her mouth again and stood up. He thought that she was going to be sick again, but instead she ran out of the bathroom and onto the main floor of the garage. He followed her, but by the time he got onto the floor she had already disappeared, he walked outside and saw her running up Main street as if her life depended on it. She hadn't covered her mouth because she was going to throw up, but because she didn't want to tell him anything else.

That hurt more than he had expected.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Spencer could not believe that she had just told Noah Puckerman about the chemo. She could have stayed up at Brown, but she had left because the last thing she had wanted was for all of her friends to watch her slowly waste away. And she hadn't planned on telling any of her friends from high school, least of all Noah Puckerman. She wasn't looking for sympathy. She didn't want to see the pitying looks or to have people trying to be careful with her. The last thing she wanted was to have her friends worrying about her: what she was eating, how she looked, how much sleep she was getting. She just wanted to be treated normally. And while she wasn't going to get that at home from her mom or Toby, she could at least get that from her friends.

She had originally planned on keeping a low profile in Lima after Christmas break and hoping that everyone assumed that she had gone back to Brown. But that seemed like a long shot now, evidently they all knew that she was no longer considered a full time student at Brown. Thankfully she had taken enough credits in the last three years that she would still be able to graduate in the spring ... if she was still around. She shook her head as she continued to run home, she needed to stop thinking like that. There was a perfectly good chance that she would be able to survive all this.

It took her ten minutes to run the rest of the way home, and she only stopped once she was on her driveway. She pulled out her phone and sent Toby a text telling him that she had decided to walk home and that he didn't need to worry about her, but to stay with Sarah for as long as he wanted. Before she walked into the house. Her mother practically jumped on her the moment she walked into the kitchen. Usually Stacey was the one who drove her to chemotherapy, but her mother did have a job so Toby had driven her there and back today and they should have been home an hour and a half ago. "Where were you?" Stacey asked, trying to keep her voice from sounding too harsh as she moved to the stove to boil some water and make her daughter some tea. "You know how you feel after chemo, you should have come home right away."

"I know, Ma," Spencer said with a sigh. "Believe me, I know." Her grim smile and the tone to her voice told her mother that she had thrown up and in a place that she really didn't want to. "I just," she said softly, trying to find a way to explain how she was feeling. "I just wanted to pretend that I was normal. That I hadn't just gotten back from chemotherapy and that I wasn't counting down the weeks until my hair started falling out."

"Honey," her mom said softly, "You don't know that your hair will fall out. Doctor Henderson said that sometimes people's hair doesn't fall out."

"Mine did last time, Mom," Spencer said with another grim smile as the kettle started to squeal, letting her know the water was ready. She grabbed two mugs and poured some hot water into both of them before dropping in a teabag for each other them. "And the time before that," she said as she handed one of the mugs to her mom. "Why should I believe this time will be any different?" Her mother sighed, not sure how to respond to her daughter so instead she simply reached out and brushed some of her daughters brown hair out of her eyes.

"You are beautiful," she said softly, smiling at her daughter. "Bald or not, you are beautiful." Spencer smiled at her mother before taking a sip of tea and burning her tongue. She sat with her mom in a pretty comfortable silence for another ten minutes while they finished their tea before she went upstairs to her room to read.

She had been up in her room reading one of her Harry Potter books for an hour when she heard the doorbell ring. She figured that it was one of Toby's friends looking for him so she didn't even bother to get up and see who was there. Which is why she was completely surprised when her bedroom door opened and Noah Puckerman walked into her room carrying a bunch of dvds and what looked like a box of Saltine crackers.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, eying him suspiciously.

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><p>Author's note: Well, here's the third chapter.<br>I hope you guys liked it! Please message me to let me know what you guys think!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

* * *

><p>Noah Puckerman surprised himself when after work he went home and instead of just crashing on his couch in the living room like he had planned to do in the morning, he planned to leave before he could even begin to get comfortable. He grabbed a stack of movies from his bedroom and a couple dollars from his mom's dresser before he left the house again. He stopped by the grocery store to buy some crackers. He didn't know much about chemotherapy, but it apparently made Spencer feel really sick and Saltines always made him feel better when he was feeling sick so he thought they could work. On his way over to her house he tried not to think about what she would say when she opened the door and saw him on her front steps. If they way she ran out of the garage that afternoon was any indication of her feelings toward him he had a feeling that she wasn't going to be too happy about it. But he was going anyway, because she shouldn't be alone.<p>

He hadn't needed to worry about what Spencer would say when he got there because it wasn't Spencer who answered the door but her mother. He said hello to her and made the appropriate amount of small talk before telling her that he and Spencer had made plans to watch a movie that evening and asking if he could go up to her room. It was a small lie, but her mother seemed to believe it and it was a lot better than telling her. "Hey, your daughter puked at the garage this afternoon and after I accused her of getting knocked up she said something about chemo. I feel really guilty about the whole knocked up thing and the fact that I'm healthy while she apparently has cancer so can I come in?" Yeah, he had a feeling that that would not have gone over very well. Stacey Anderson smiled at him, and it almost made him feel even more guilty. She seemed so happy to have someone there for Spencer. He realized that whatever going on with Spencer must have been just as hard on her mother as it was on her.

He quickly walked up the stairs, taking them two at a time until he reached the second floor landing. He had only been at her house once during their senior year - her parents had gone out of town and she had thrown a party, but he still remembered which room was hers, mainly because she had caught him getting a blow job from a girl on her bed. He was pretty sure that she still hadn't forgiven him for that. Not that he really blamed her. He didn't bother knocking on the door, choosing instead to just walk into her room and surprise her. She glanced up from the book on her lap, her eyes narrowing at the sight of him. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice hard and angry, but if he had listened closely he would have heard the smallest quiver to it, letting him know that she was trying to be angry, but that wasn't what she really was feeling.

He held up the dvds and crackers as a peace offering, "I thought that we could hang out," he said softly, setting the dvds on her bed and opening up the box of crackers before offering her one of the sleeves. She raised her eyebrows at him, not entirely sure what he expected from her. He shrugged his shoulders, "Whenever I feel like crap a good movie and Saltines always make me feel better."

Spencer nodded and leaned forward so that she could look through the dvds he had offered. Her eyebrows rose when she picked up _Roadhouse_. "This is what you consider a good movie?" she asked him. Puck realized that he probably should have paid some attention to what movies he had grabbed before he left the house. Of course _Roadhouse_ wasn't a good movie. She sighed and shook her head, "Look, Noah," she said softly, "I get why you're doing this and while it's a nice gesture it's not really something I want or need. I don't want sympathy, especially yours, so you should just leave."

Puck shook his head and toed off his shoes, silently letting the brunette know that he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. "This isn't sympathy," he said as he sat down on the edge of her bed. "I thought we were friends. And friends do things like this when one of their friends is sick. If you don't like it you can think of this as a celebration of the fact that you aren't knocked up." This made Spencer crack a smile which he took as a good sign. "And of course _Roadhouse_ is a good movie," he added, grabbing the dvd out of her hand, "It's on Rotten Tomatoes list of movies too bad to miss. Who could say no to that selling point?" That gained a reluctant giggle from the brunette sitting next to him. "So what do you say, Spence?" he asked, leaning closer so that he could nudge her shoulder with his own. "Is this going to work?"

"As long as you let me pick one of my movies," Spencer said, an honest smile gracing her lips as she handed back Puck's movies. "Your movie choice sucks."

"Fair enough," Puck said with a nod as he placed his movies on the floor and opened the sleeve of Saltines so that he could have a cracker. She ended up making him choose between _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ and _Sixteen Candles_. He had heard of both of the movies, but never seen them or bothered to learn what they were about so he chose_ Breakfast at Tiffany's_. When she asked him why he simply shrugged, "The chick's hotter," he told her honestly. She looked almost insulted for a moment before she told him that Audrey Hepburn was not a chick. Puck didn't say anything, but the Audrey woman definitely fit all the criteria to be called a chick.

They were five minutes into the movie before Puck couldn't handle it anymore and he finally asked her one of the questions he had wanted to ask her since she had let it slip that she was undergoing chemo. "So how bad is it?" She had sighed, it was obvious that she was hoping that he would just forget about it, but it was something he couldn't do. "Look," he said softly, waiting until she turned her head so that he could make eye contact with her. "I get that you don't really want me to know, but I know, you can't undo that. I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to, but you have to give me some answers here."

She gave him a look as if to say _I don't have to give you anything_, but then she signed and opened her mouth. "It's not too bad," she said softly, refusing to meet his gaze. "It's still in its early stages, but it can get a lot worse. It's a very aggressive strain."

"How do you know all this?" he asked, wondering how much research the girl had done in the short time she had known that she had cancer.

"It's a recurring strain," she said softly, glancing at him briefly and almost smiling when she saw the look on his face that clearly said that he didn't know what she meant. "It was first discovered as a tumor in one of my lymph nodes when I was five years old. I went through chemotherapy and surgery and the tumor was removed. I was in remission until my sophomore year when it came back. There was more chemo, no surgery that time, and I went back into remission right before my senior year until recently." Puck raised his eyebrows, surprised tat this girl had undergone two separate cancer treatments before she had arrived at McKinley and she had somehow managed to keep it from them. "That's the reason we moved here," she said softly, "Doctor Henderson, is one of the best, and my parents wanted to give me the best shot they could. It's back though, and worse, it's easier to live here and go to Henderson than to go back to Rhode Island and try to find a new doctor," she added, answering Puck's next question without even realizing it. He had been curious about her decision to stay in Lima instead of going back to school.

"When did you find out it was back?" he asked softly.

"Have you ever had this nagging feeling in your stomach that something isn't right?" she asked, going back to avoiding eye contact with him. "You're not sure what it is, but the feeling keeps growing and growing until you figure it out?" Puck nodded, but Spencer wasn't paying enough attention to him to notice. "It was kind of like that. There are no distinct symptoms of DLBC Lymphoma, but there are some signs that can predict it. Anorexia, weight loss, fatigue, night sweats, and shortness of breath are some of them. They're not sure indicators, but my family is familiar enough with Lymphoma, that when I started to experience all of them we went straight to Henderson."

"DLBC?" Puck asked. "And how bad is it?"

"Diffuse large B cell Lymphoma," Spencer said, a small smile letting him know that she was well aware of the fact that this was like a different language to Puck. "It's a pretty aggressive form of cancer, but we caught it early enough that with some chemo and maybe surgery I should be okay. It'll be too late to go back to school, but I'll get better." She turned to glance at Puck for a moment, "Any more questions?" Puck made a mental note to look up everything wikipedia said about her form of cancer before shaking his head and turning back to the movie. He knew that this wasn't really a subject that Spencer wanted to talk about and he knew that if he wanted her to talk to him about it some more (which he did) he shouldn't push her now. When she was sure that he wasn't going to think of another questions she nodded and turned toward the television as well.

They were halfway through the movie when Spencer fell asleep. They had both been sitting on her bed when the movie started, but Spencer had made a point to ensure that they weren't touching in any way. But as she began to fall asleep she had slowly slumped down and shifted until her head was nestled in the crook of Puck's neck. He glanced at her, not sure of what he should do before he sighed and gently positioned her so that her head would be resting on his chest instead of his shoulder, he didn't want her to wake up with a sore neck later. Now that he didn't have a reason to keep his eyes on the television in front of him they began to look around her room, he had been in here once before, but for obvious reasons, hadn't had the time or desire to actually look around the room.

The walls were painted yellow which made him smile for some reason. But what caught his eye was the large amount of pictures on display around her room. There were pictures of her family and what he assumed were her friends from school, but there were a lot of pictures of the members of New Directions and that was what he really wanted to focus on. There was a picture of Spencer and Rachel, both girls smiling at the camera as Spencer threw up sideways peace signs - he remembered that picture, pretty sure that he had been the one to take it, right before regionals their senior year. A picture of the entire group after they had won nationals. One of Spencer and Mr. Schue at their graduation. Another one from graduation - Spencer and Quinn with their arms wrapped around each other as they threw their caps up in the air. A picture of Mike teaching her how to Dougie while Artie laughed behind them. One of Britney, Santana, Spencer and Tina during their last girls vs. boys competition for Glee. One of Spencer, Kurt, and Mercedes dressed in red and white for a school football game. Finn was giving her a piggyback ride in another picture. She and Mike dancing together at prom. Sam and Spencer's duet together their senior year. And there were two of her and Puck - one from their last duet together at regionals. And one that he had never seen before, they were in the choir room, both sitting at the piano bench while Spencer taught him how to play something on the piano. He smiled, he remembered that day, she was teaching how to play _A Whole New World_ from_ Aladdin_. He had never realized how important New Directions had been to Spencer, but it made sense now. She had just beaten cancer for the second time in her life, Glee club had been everything to her.

On another shelf there were a bunch of black and white pictures of hospital rooms and nurses. He gently slid out from under the small brunette, being careful not to wake her up before he crossed the room so that he could look at the pictures. These were obviously from when Spencer had relapsed during high school. Puck almost found it painful to look at the pictures, Spencer had dropped weight really fast and in each of the pictures she looked even sicker than the last. But she was smiling in all of them, and so were the nurses and the doctors. There were two pictures at the end of the shelf that made Puck smile. The first was of Spencer and every doctor and nurse in the other pictures and her family. There was cake, balloons, and a giant sign that displayed the word _Remission!_ in large bubble letters. The next picture didn't make sense at first, it was black and white like the others but it wasn't in a hospital, it was at a hair salon. He picked up the frame so that he could look at it more closely when he heard movement on the bed behind him.

He turned around to see Spencer, curled up against her pillow, her brown eyes looking at him with a small smile on her face. She nodded toward the picture frame in his hand, Puck opened his mouth to apologize for being nosey when she started to speak, cutting him off before he could make a sound. "I lost all my hair during chemo last time I relapsed," she said softly, "I got a wig, because I didn't want anyone to know that I had cancer." Puck nodded, noticing a theme in Spencer's life. "So once my hair grew back and it was long enough I donated my own hair to make a wig for someone else." Puck glanced back at the picture, she was smiling at the camera with the person who had cut her hair and in her hand she was holding a ponytail of about nine inches worth of hair. There were tears in her eyes, but she looked happier than Puck had probably ever seen her. He turned back to Spencer and smiled at her, he told her that he had never known that her hair was fake in high school she had smiled. "It was a damn good wig."

Puck smiled at her. "Is it going to fall off this time too?" he asked, gesturing from the picture to the hair on her head and back again.

"Maybe," Spencer said with a shrug. "I'm using different drugs this time, so it might not. There's no real way to tell yet."

Puck nodded and put the picture back on the frame before walking back to Spencer's bed and sitting down next to her again. He wanted to ask her so many other questions, but he didn't want to upset her. The easiest way to do that was to just stop talking about it. "So," he said a few minutes later, "are you coming out to the karaoke bar with us tomorrow night?" Spencer nodded and surprised Puck by slipping under his arm and leaning her head against his chest. He stared at her for a moment, not sure what to do while she watched the movie before he finally began to slowly rub his hand up and down her arm. She sighed, almost sounding content and he figured that that had been the right thing to do. "What's going to happen once everyone else goes back to school?" he asked her softly a few minutes later.

Spencer shrugged her shoulders and tipped her head back so that she could see his face without lifting her head off of his chest. "I was kind of hoping we could still hang out," she said softly, her blue eyes going a bit soft as she looked at him. "I mean, if that's alright with you."

Puck smiled at her and wrapped his free arm around her stomach, almost pulling her closer to him, "That's fine by me," he said softly.

But Spencer shook her head and pulled away from him slightly, she surprised him with the force of her glare. "But if we're going to do that you're going to have to stop this shit," she said angrily. Puck raised his eyebrows at her, but didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, seriously, if he was going to keep being so nice to her she was going to fall more in love with him than she had in high school and then she was going to be in trouble. "You're really not a nice guy," she said softly, trying to use her tone to soften the blow. "Sure, you can fool people into thinking you are occasionally, but you're not. And you're trying so hard to be right now, and a part of me's grateful for that, but it hurts more than you think."

"How does it hurt?" Puck asked, confused. He would have thought that she would have liked him being nice to her. Who wants to hang out with a jerk?

"Because I know you're only being nice to me because you found out I have cancer," Spencer said, matter-of-factly. Puck opened his mouth to argue, but Spencer shook her head. "Honestly, Noah, do you expect me to believe that the reason you're sitting on my bed watching an Audrey Hepburn movie has nothing to do with the fact that I have cancer? The Noah Puckerman I knew from high school would have tried to get me naked at least ten times by now."

"So you want me to pretend that I don't know?" Puck asked, raising his eyebrows. "Because I can't do that, Spence. Believe me, I'd like to. I don't know how to deal with shit like this. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you. What I'm allowed to talk about. But I can't just pretend that I don't know."

Spencer stared at him for a moment before she nodded. "Then maybe you should just leave," she said softly, her lips pressing together in a tight line. Puck opened his mouth to say something, anything really, but she shook her head. "Goodbye, Puck," she said softly, refusing to meet his eyes.

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><p>Author's Note: Gotta say, not really feeling the love for this story.<br>And yet, I wrote ahead and I have like ten more chapters of it saved on my computer and I don't want to let that time go to waste so I'm going to keep updating.  
>BIG thanks to those who have reviewed or added this story to their alerts list.<br>Those of you that haven't should ... constructive criticism is great and reviews = love.  
>hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Spencer Anderson smiled when she opened her front door and saw Mike standing on her front step. "Hey Chang-a-lang," she said, her smile widening as she moved out of the way so that he could walk further into the house. "You're early," she pointed out as she turned and walked toward the kitchen, assuming that he was following her without looking over her shoulder to check.<p>

"Lunch with my parents went better than I had expected," Mike said with a shrug as he sat down on a stool at the kitchen island. Spencer smiled sympathetically at the man in front of her. He had had lunch with his mom and dad that afternoon and when they had talked three days ago Mike hadn't been looking forward to it. His father had wanted to talk about Mike's future plans and although Chang senior had become a bit more laid back about his son's dancing since high school he still wasn't sure if it would be a good profession for his son. At the karaoke bar Mike had told Spencer that he was probably going to spend at least two hours being lectured at about how important his last semester was and how he should be networking and not dancing.

"That's good," Spencer said with a smile and a nod as she opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. "That's really good. Did you tell him about the audition?" she asked him before taking a sip of her water. While Santana had dragged Puck on stage to sing with her Mike had told Spencer about his most recent audition. It had been for a music video. Jason Derulo or someone like that. Mike shook his head as he swiped the water bottle from her hand and took a swig of her water. "Why not?" she asked, "that sounds like networking to me."

"Because I'd rather wait until I have something positive to say," Mike said softly, handing the bottle back to her. "I don't want to tell him about the audition unless I can also tell him that I got the job." Spencer nodded, she could understand his point of view, although if she had been him she would have told her parents the moment she found out about the audition. "So what are we going to do today?" Mike asked.

"I need your help, actually," Spencer said, reaching out and pulling Mike off his stool before leading him out of the kitchen and toward the door that went down to the basement. "I need your help choreographing something actually." Mike nodded, finally realizing why Spencer was wearing tights, shorts, and leg warmers. She was ready to dance. "I need to choreograph the routine for my kids in Providence," she said as she began to dig through a pile of CDs looking for a certain one.

"I thought you had decided to write a paper as your capstone," Mike said softly, not wanting to upset the girl standing in front of him, but also trying to figure out why she was choreographing a dance routine for teenagers that she apparently did not plan on seeing again. "Why do you need to choreography a dance?"

Spencer shrugged, "I feel like I owe them something," she said softly, talking about the kids that she had been working with. "Like, they've been working on this all year. I can't just bail on them. Some of them were planning on sending a tape of the performance to colleges so that they can get into dance programs. I'm not going to take this chance away from them." Mike nodded, getting where she was coming from.

"Okay," he said softly, "So what kind of routine are we working on?"

Spencer smiled at him. "My capstone project was on combining dance styles and techniques to make them work. As in how someone could take classical ballet moves and combine them with some salsa and hip hop moves and create a dance that not only works, but looks good and shows off just how much dance technique the dancers have."

"And by someone you mean us?" Mike asked raising his eyebrows and trying not to let how excited he was show through. He had always loved dancing and besides Britney no girl had ever come close to his skill until he had met Spencer. They had danced a lot together during their senior year, both at the show choir competitions and for fun, but they hadn't done much dancing together since they had started college and to be honest he missed dancing with her. They had always worked well together because they both put so much passion into their dancing. It was not that they were in love with each other, they never had been and they never would be. They were simply good friends who both shared a common love - dancing. And he had had more fun dancing with her in high school than he had with countless partners in his dance program in college.

Spencer smiled and nodded. "It's a mixed group," she said, trying to explain her reasoning. "Boys and girls and I want to make sure that not only does the routine flow, but that the boys won't look too uncomfortable or stupid doing the moves, because while they might look great on a girl they might not look so great on a guy."

Mike chuckled and shook his head. "Whatever you say," he teased as he pulled the CD out of her hand and walked toward the stereo. "You just want to dance with me again," he said as he put the CD in a pressed play. He hadn't been sure what to expect, but it was not the song that started playing. It was a classical song that he had heard in one of his ballet classes freshmen year but the classical music did not last long before it was fused with a fast-tempo Latin beat. The two types of music competed with each other for a minute or so before they were joined by a distinctly hip hop beat. The rest of the five minute song continued like that until the hip hop beat disappeared and a minute later the salsa song disappeared, leaving just the classical music for a few moments. He nodded when the song was done, "Spence," he said with a smile turning to look at his friend. "That was tight."

Spencer nodded with a smile on her face as the song started to play again. "My friend Tyler made it for me," she said with another nod. "He's in the music department up at school and did it for free as long as I allowed him to use it for his capstone. It's Mozart's Symphony number twenty-five, Amor Para Mi - without the words, and some beat from some song that I don't know." Mike nodded before asking Spencer how she wanted to start the routine. She thought about it for a moment, biting her lower lip. "I mean, because at the beginning of the song it's just mozart I suppose we should start with ballet. I would really like that part to just be the girls at the beginning, the boys could come out once the salsa music starts to play."

Mike nodded before standing up and moving toward the CD player so that he could start the song over again. "Show me what you're thinking," he said, gesturing toward the empty space in front of him. She nodded and moved to the center of the wood floor. She tilted her head so that she was looking at the ground and extended her right leg behind her, turning to the side and leaving it flatfooted before extending her pointed left foot in front of her. Her right arm went up into the air above her head while her left arm extended horizontally from her body, parallel with the floor.

The moment the music started she stepped forward onto her left foot, placing it flatfooted on the floor for just long enough to give her body the momentum to push herself onto her tiptoes and extend her right leg up into the air so that it was parallel with her still extended right arm. Mike felt his eyes widen as he stared at her, she was doing this barefooted, weren't people only supposed to be able to do moves like that in pointe shoes? She started to turn her body, her left leg going flatfooted again for a moment to propel her body into a turn, this time her right leg went behind her body, bent at the knee, her thigh parallel with the floor. Flatfooted again, propelling herself forward so that she could complete the move a second time.

Then she went up on her tiptoes on both feet, both hands extending above her head, palms together, she twisted her hands, so the back of her hands were facing each other before stepping forward on a flatfoot, pointing one foot behind her and dropping her arms to the side. Mike lifted his hands to clap, but realized she wasn't done yet. She turned one leg to the side and bent at her waist so that her palms were touching the floor. And then she smoothly lifted her outside leg until it was pointing straight at the ceiling. Then before he knew what was happening she had lifted her hands off the floor, extended them behind her and turned her body, all the while keeping her foot pointed toward the ceiling. She had obviously thought the first part of the song through because after a simple arabesque (Mike knew the name of that move) she stepped back on her left flat foot, pointing her right foot in front of her, her left arm crossed in front of her chest while her right arm extended gracefully above her head. She turned to look at him just as the salsa beat made its appearance.

Mike stared at her for a moment as if unsure of what he was supposed to say or do before he walked forward and wrapped his arms around her and picked her up and spun her around. "That was ... amazing?" he said, his last word a question as if he was unsure if that was the correct way to describe what she had just done. "I mean, that was hot. I don't even know what those moves are called!"

Spencer giggled as Mike set her back down on her feet. "The first one was a variation of an Italian fouette. That progressed into what my teacher calls a six o'clock and then an illusion turn before an arabesque." Mike smiled at her and shook his head, whatever those moves were they were amazing. Spencer was amazing. She smiled at him again before shaking her head, "But then I get a bit lost, I don't know how to introduce the salsa or the boys."

"I can't blame you," Mike said shaking his head. "After that fouette?" he asked, making sure he got the term right, she nodded. "Who would want to follow that? How long did it take you to learn that?" Spencer shrugged and told him maybe a week or so, apparently her professor had not rested until she was able to do fifty of them in a row without falling. Two must have been simple for her then. "Well," he said after a moment, "why don't we start with a classic beginning?" Spencer raised her eyebrows and Mike smiled before stepping away from her, snapping his feet together and rather flamboyantly extending his right arm to her. She did another illusion turn before running toward him and jumping in the air, turning and landing beside him, just close enough to be able to place her hand in his. (Mike knew the term for that move to, a tour jete.) He spun her toward him until she was all tangled in his arms and facing him. She allowed him to lift one of her arms over her head and spin her, with each spin she bent her knees more until, she was as close to the floor as possible. Mike jumped and spread his legs apart and she slid between them, letting go of his hands for the briefest moment. He stood facing forward with his left hand extended to the side and she placed her right hand in it before pirouetting into his arms and allowing him to dip her so that her head was touching the ground. She then flipped her legs over her body and landed in a split on the ground in front of him.

Mike let out a low whistle. This girl had gotten more flexible and more interesting to watch since high school. He had no idea where these moves came from, but he liked watching them. He especially liked how she was able to combine some salsa moves with ballet moves and make it look flawless, as if that was how they were supposed to be performed. "But I don't want every one doing the same thing at the same time," Spencer said as she held out her arms and allowed Mike to pull her out of the split. "I mean, obviously these kids aren't going to have all the same skill sets. Some of them won't be able to perform all of the moves." Mike nodded, keeping it to himself that he would be surprised if one of the kids was able to do what Spencer had just done.

"So what you're saying is that we're going to have to choreograph different routines and make sure that they all fit with the music and work together?" he asked, realizing just how big of a project Spencer had signed him up for.

Spencer nodded, pleading silently with her eyes. "I was thinking of having them split into three groups. We could choreograph all three routines and tape them while you're still here and then I can send them to my kids so that they can learn the moves."

Mike nodded, his smile growing bigger as he moved toward the stereo and started the song over again. "Then it seems as though we've got a lot of work to do."

Spencer smiled at him and squealed a bit. "Let's get started."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Noah Puckerman rolled over in the bed and looked at the brunette laying next to him on her stomach. Her hair was a mess and she was naked from her head down to her hips. He knew for a fact that she was naked from the hips down as well, but his sheets covered that part of her. His eyes roamed over the pair of perfectly formed back dimples on her lower back before reaching out and not too gently shaking her shoulder. If this girl thought that she was going to stay over night she was wrong. "Hey," he said loudly, shaking the girl's shoulder again. "You need to go."

The girl turned toward him and opened her brown eyes; they were the wrong color, Puck thought, they were supposed to be blue, but he shook his head and dismissed the thought as the girl curled into his side and snaked her arm over his hips. "Why can't I stay?" she asked, her tone almost a whine. "Your bed is so comfortable and we had so much fun. We could have more fun if you let me stay."

"No," Puck said shaking his head and sitting up in the bed so that he could get out of it and start to get dressed again. "My mom and my sister are going to be home soon. And you can't be here when they get back. You need to leave." That wasn't necessarily true, but the girl didn't need to know that. She nodded and got out of bed and quickly got dressed.

"Do you need my number?" she asked as Puck practically pushed her through the kitchen toward the door. "I told it to you earlier, but you never wrote it down."

Puck smirked and tapped his forehead with his index finger, "Photographic memory, babe, don't need to write it down." The girl smiled and nodded before leaning forward to kiss him. Puck moved his head out of the way so that she couldn't make contact with his lips and waved at her before shutting the door in her face. He shook his head as walked up the stairs toward his room so that he could change his sheets. That girl was about as stupid as she was bad in bed. He couldn't believe that she had accepted a photographic memory as an excuse for him not to write her number down. That didn't even make sense.

Normally he wouldn't have minded going for a round two, but this girl really hadn't been any good. And besides, every time he had looked into her eyes he was stuck with the fact that they were the wrong color. He didn't even like brunettes so he couldn't figure out why he had brought the girl home. He could count on one hand the number of brunettes that he had been with in his entire life: Santana, Rachel (and Rach hardly counted, they never did shit), and Shelby (that had been a low point in his life...). Seriously, he stayed away from brunettes because all they seemed to bring was trouble. Santana, he loved her to death, but the girl wasn't even straight, how had he not known that? Rachel, well Rachel had always been Finn's girl and every time Puck went near her he just caused trouble. And Shelby ... no explanation needed.

So needless to say he had stayed away from brunettes. It had taken him a few times, but he had learned his lesson. So why was he going after them again? He knew the reason, but he didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to talk to him anyway. She had made that clear by the fact that she didn't say a single word to him when the group went back to the karaoke bar three days ago. Seriously, not a single fucking word. She had nodded_ hello_ to him and then nodded a _goodbye_ to him as well. He kept trying to catch her eye, but she was too busy talking to Mike or getting Sam to teach her how to do a James Earl Jones impression. Seriously, blondie got to spend forty-five minutes talking nonsense with the girl and Puck didn't even get to say a single word to her.

It was like senior year all over again.

And now that he had started to get to know Spencer Anderson a little better he wasn't sure if he was willing to go back.

Fuck that, he knew he wasn't willing to go back.

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><p>Author's Note: Well there's the next chapter. What do you guys think? I know there was very little interaction between Puck and Spencer in this one.<br>But it can't be too easy for him. Or for her, I mean, she's never really told anyone about her cancer before.  
>She doesn't know what to do anymore than he does.<br>Anyway, constructive criticism is always nice. And I love reading reviews.  
>They do tend to make me update faster.<br>So send me some Review Love.  
>Thanks to Katastrophe101 for being my newest reviewer (and I'm glad I surprised you and that you actually like the story).<br>And don't worry Dalonega Noquisi I'm not going to quit on you ... I like Spencer too much for that.  
>Thanks again for reading (Please review!)<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"Noah?" Sarah asked the next day, poking her head into her brother's room, her hand covering her eyes to make sure she didn't see anything she didn't really want to, just incase he was naked or something. Puck chuckled and shook his head, telling Sarah that it was fine, she could take her hand off of her eyes. She smiled before walking further into his room, frowning slightly at the hot pink bra on the floor by his desk chair. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked him.<p>

"Sure, Kid," Puck said, sitting up from his bed and reaching for his shoes. Judging by the fact that she had his truck keys dangling from her index finger she wanted a ride somewhere. "Where are we going?"

"Toby Anderson's?" Sarah asked, biting her lip, a pink blush rising on her cheeks. Puck snorted when he realized that she seemed to be having trouble making eye contact with him. She rolled her eyes and threw his keys at him. "Stop laughing," she said as she turned around. "I've seen how you look at his sister. And so has he." That quickly shut Puck up. She had no idea what she was talking about.

Twenty minutes later they were pulling into Spencer's driveway. Toby was waiting eagerly on the front steps and rushed toward the truck the moment Puck killed the engine. Sarah grabbed a box from the backseat that Puck hadn't noticed before, it was wrapped in Christmas paper. She smiled and blushed again when Toby opened the passenger side door for her and waited for her to climb out of the truck. Puck stared at him, wondering if he was going to need to have a talk with the kid, but he had to admit that the kid had swag, there weren't many kids his age that opened car doors for girls. He opened his mouth to tell Sarah to call him if she needed a ride home, but Toby interrupted him. "You can come in too if you want to, Puck."

Puck shook his head, a bitter chuckle rising in his throat when he thought of the last time he had been at the house. "Trust me, Kid," he said, "the last thing your sister probably wants is for me to show up in your house."

Toby shook his head and pointed to another car in the driveway, a Ford Mustang. "Mike Chang's already here," he said with a shrug. "They're in the basement. I figured the rest of you guys would show up eventually." Puck's eyebrows rose at that information, he wondered why he hadn't recognized Mike's car in the beginning, he had helped the guy rebuild it after all. He nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt, wondering why Chang was over here. He followed the two younger kids into the house, trying not to feel like too much of a creep before heading toward the basement while they walked into the downstairs living room. Toby had looked as though he was about to lead Sarah upstairs, but after a pointed glare from Puck he had changed direction and stayed on the first floor. Wise man.

He walked down the stairs as quietly as he could, he wasn't sure what he was about to walk in on, but he wanted to do it silently so that if it was something he shouldn't see he could walk back up the stairs and go home unnoticed. What he did see at the bottom of the stairs surprised him. He hadn't really been expecting anything, but to see Mike and Spencer dancing together had not been on the list at all. He watched as Mike and Spencer danced what looked like a hip hop routine, their moves worked well with the music, but he was surprised to note that the music itself wasn't necessarily hip hop. Out of nowhere Mike extended his arm and Spencer took his hand allowing him to spin her toward him, once she was in front of him they switched arms so that she could spin out in the other direction. Mike turned toward her and she crossed her right arm over her left before taking his other hand. They lifted their arms and twisted underneath them so that they were no longer tangled in each other's arms. Spencer twirled in one direction while Mike turned and did some ballet looking jump that brought him to a kneeling position on the other side of the room. He slowly began to stand up straight as Spencer ran toward him and jumped gracefully into his outstretched arms. Both of their arms were completely straight as Mike lifted Spencer as high above his head as he could, every muscle in Spencer's body was working to keep her body straight. Suddenly she twisted so that she was behind Mike's head, doing a split across his shoulders. She slowly slid her arms around his shoulders and down his chest until he was able to grab her hands and flip her over his head so that she was almost in a split on the ground. He pulled her gently off the ground and walked toward the wall, catching Puck's eye and winking as Spencer performed a few ballet moves that Puck didn't know the names of, or how she was able to do them before the music came to an end.

Mike clapped his hands together as he walked closer to Spencer and wrapped his arms around her small frame. Puck watched, worried that his friend might break one of her bones. He had found himself distracted by the dance moves, but had still noticed how thin Spencer still looked. At least she hadn't seemed to have lost any more weight since the last time he saw her. Spencer's laughter drew Puck's attention from her ribs to her face as she hugged Mike back just as fiercely. "One group down, two to go," she said with a smile as she pulled away from him just enough that she could give him a high five. "Should we film it now?" she asked, gesturing toward the stairs without turning. "I can ask Toby."

"Toby's busy," Puck said as he walked down the last two steps. Spencer turned to look at him in surprise. She had honestly not noticed the man on her stairs while she and Mike were dancing. "I drove Sarah over here to hang out for a while," Puck said with a shrug. "They better still be in the living room."

Mike laughed and moved forward so that he could give Puck and man handshake and hug. "Get it, little Anderson!" Mike chuckled before his eyes got wide when he realized that he was talking about Puck's little sister. "I mean, umm, never mind." Puck chuckled before shaking his head, letting Mike know that he wasn't mad. "So what do you think?" Mike asked, gesturing behind him to the empty space where they had been dancing.

Puck smiled, "Pretty hot," he said with a nod. "Although she totally outdid you, Man." He added the last part with a small smile in Spencer's direction, hoping that she would take it as his apology for upsetting her the last time he was there. She looked unsure for a moment before she nodded and moved closer to him as well so that she could give him a hug. "So what's this for?" he asked once she had stepped away from him and led the two boys toward the couch.

"It's for the kids that were going to help me with my capstone," Spencer said as she reached for the remote and turned on the television. "They've worked so hard for me, I couldn't just say goodbye to them just because I decided to do my last semester at home."

"Why did you decide to stay here for your last semester?" Mike asked, curious. He had spent the last two days with Spencer, but hadn't asked her why she was staying in Lima. Puck turned to watch Spencer's face as she processed Mike's question. He had been wondering what she was going to tell everyone once he heard about the cancer, since she obviously didn't want anyone to know.

She shrugged, "I'm not taking any classes this semester," she said softly, keeping her eyes on the television and blinking rapidly to ensure that her eyes didn't start to tear up. "Just working on my capstone. It's less expensive for me to stay here and write a paper than for me to stay there and do nothing for four months." Puck glanced toward to Mike to see if his friend was actually buying Spencer's excuse, he doubted it, but the guy was nodding. Maybe it was because he knew the truth that Spencer's reason seemed so feeble. Mike murmured something about how that sucked. Spencer nodded before changing the subject, Mike may have believed her answer, but that didn't mean she wanted to linger on the subject for too long. "So should we watch a movie or play Call of Duty?"

The boys looked at each other for a split second before they both smiled, "Call of Duty."

-.-.-.-.-

Mike left an hour later and Puck kept waiting for it to get awkward, for Spencer to kick him out, but she didn't. She just kept playing Call of Duty, she wasn't very good at it, but it was nice to see a girl who at least tried to play video games. Puck finally turned to look at her and set his game controller on the table in front of him. "So how have you been?" he asked.

Spencer sighed and put her game controller down next to his. "Not going to lie," she said, shaking her head, "I was really enjoying hanging out with Mike. He didn't ask questions like this. We just hung out." Puck nodded, biting back his response that the only reason Mike didn't ask her questions like that was because he didn't know about her condition. Instead he waited silently for Spencer to answer his question. She turned to look at him and shook her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "You just don't give up do you?" she asked, but didn't wait for his answer. "I'm doing okay," she added. "They've got me on a one week on, one week off schedule which is nice. I won't have any more chemo before Christmas so I won't feel like crap. New Years will probably be a different story though."

"When's your next treatment?" Puck asked. Spencer told him that it was on the twenty-seventh of December. He nodded. He wanted to just pretend that he didn't know, he really did, but he couldn't, no matter how badly they both wanted it. It didn't surprise him that Spencer rolled her eyes at his silence. But what happened next, did surprise him. "Can I go with you?"

Spencer's big blue eyes darted up to look at his face, she was clearly surprised and had no idea how to answer his question. "You want to go my chemo session with me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows and looking at him like he was crazy.

Puck wanted to shake his head, he wanted to say no, to take it back. But he couldn't. Because as she waited for his answer a small smile began to spread across her lips and a glint of hope appeared in her eyes. She may act as though she didn't want to talk about her condition, but he could tell that it was nice for her to have someone in this town besides her family who knew about the cancer. So he didn't take it back. Instead he shrugged, "I mean, I've looked things up on the internet. You're not supposed to drive home after chemo and I thought it would be nice to have someone besides your mom or little brother drive you home."

Spencer stared at him for a moment, her brows knitted together as if she was considering something. And then the smile appeared on her face again, wider than before and Puck barely had time to brace himself before she had launched herself across the couch between them and practically into his lap so that she could wrap her arms around his shoulders. Puck stared down at her for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tightly. "I'm still not crazy about you knowing," she said softly, "but thank you." Puck squeezed her a bit tighter for a moment before whispering that it was no problem and letting go of her.

Spencer smiled at him for a few final seconds before she bit her lip in embarrassment and quickly moved out of his lap and back to her spot on the couch. "So," Puck said after a silent minute. He drew out the vowels in the word so that it sounded as awkward as he felt. Spencer laughed and shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes. "I should probably go," Puck said with a nod as he stood up from the couch. "I've got to go get Sarah, Ma's making dinner tonight and she'll flip a shit if we're not back on time." Spencer nodded. "So I'll see you soon?" Puck asked as he walked backwards toward the basement stairs. He turned around to walk forward only once he had seen Spencer's answering nod.

But she stopped him before he could walk up more than two stairs. "Noah?" she asked, waiting for him to turn around before she continued. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked softly. A part of Puck wanted to say _anything_, but that seemed too cheesy and Spencer might think that he was simply being accommodating because of her cancer so instead he simply shrugged his shoulders and waited for her request. "Can you drive me somewhere tomorrow?" Spencer asked, her eyes wide and pleading.

"Sure," Puck said with a nod. "Where?"

"It's a surprise," Spencer said with a smile and a wink before nodding her head toward the stairs, silently telling Puck to start walking up them. Puck nodded and lifted his hand to wave at the brunette before he turned and walked up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"You're being quiet," Sarah said five minutes later as she and Puck got into his truck. Puck nodded and waited for her to buckle her seatbelt before he started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. "Anything you want to talk about?" his sister asked. Yes, there was a lot of stuff that Puck wanted to talk about and they all had to do with a certain brunette that he had just left, but they were all something that he figured she didn't want anyone to know, least of all his little sister. So he couldn't talk about any of it. So instead he shook his head and shot a smile in his sister's direction before turning up the radio. Sarah leaned forward and turned the radio off, "Well I want to talk," she said after a minute.

"About what?" Puck asked, turning to glance at the girl for a moment before turning back to look at the road.

"About how you're going to convince Spencer that she wants to date you," Sarah said with a smile and a giggle as she leaned away from Puck's now outstretched hand that was attempting to mess up her hair. "Come on!" she gasped, "You know you want to!"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"So he knows?" Toby asked a couple hours later as he leaned against Spencer's doorframe and stared at his sister with soft brown eyes. Spencer looked up from her book and shrugged nonchalantly before turning back to her book. "No," Toby said, shaking his head and walking further into the room. "Don't act like it's no big deal. You have made it clear that you don't want anyone to know, but he does. Did you tell him?"

"How do you know that he knows?" Spencer asked, folding down the corner of her page and closing her book so that she could look at her brother. She didn't need to ask who _he_ was, she knew he meant Noah. "You're making a pretty big assumption there."

"Not really," Toby said with a shrug as he sat down on her bed. "He practically told me." Spencer's eyebrows rose. Toby smiled, "When he came into the living room to get Sarah. While she was putting on her coat he came up to me and told me to take care of you and to call him if you needed anything. People don't say that about people they're not worried about. And I figure you haven't given him anything to worry about unless you told him about the cancer." Spencer's eyes got wider as she listened to her brother, Toby could tell that she was honestly surprised by the fact that Puck cared enough to say anything. He nodded, "So you told him?" he asked.

Spencer shrugged, "Just kind of came out after I threw up at his garage after chemo." She looked up and rolled her eyes at the disgusted look one her brother's face. "Thanks jerk," she muttered, reaching out so that she could elbow the younger boy in the ribs. "I mean, it's not like you're the one who has to throw up or anything. Don't worry about it."

Toby chuckled and wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders. "Come on Spence," he chuckled, gently squeezing his shoulder and pressing a kiss into her forehead. "You know I was joking." Spencer nodded but didn't say anything. The good thing was that she didn't move out from under his arm either so she wasn't about to kick him out of her room or anything. "How's it feel?" he asked after a silent minute. "Having someone else know?"

Spencer bit her lip for a second, thinking about how she felt before finally answering. "It's better than I thought," she said with a shrug. "I mean, I'm not completely sure if I enjoy the fact that he asks me how I am every time he sees me, or that he's gentle with me; but it's not really that bad. It's nice to have someone to talk to if I want to." She lifted her hand to silence Toby's sound of displeasure at that statement. "You know what I mean, someone who's a bit removed from the situation. Like, it honestly bothers me that you know the language of cancer, you shouldn't. He doesn't, which is nice. Like I told him that mine is aggressive, but he doesn't know how much so, just kind of took my word that I'd be okay. When was the last time Mom did that? Or Dad?"

Toby nodded. "Speaking of Dad, Ma says that he's requesting early leave to come home and see you." Spencer groaned and buried her head in her hands. She missed her dad, sure, and yes - there were days when she thought her life couldn't get any worse, but she didn't want her parents to make a big deal about it. And her dad coming home from the Middle East was definitely making a big deal about it. "Relax," Toby said, shaking his head. "I said that he was requesting it, not that he's received it. So stop the pouting."

Spencer sighed and turned to look at Toby, hoping that she wasn't tearing up. "I just - I mean, I want to see him and I miss him. But, I just - I don't," she sighed, having trouble getting to her point. "It's just that, if - "

"If he comes home it's going to make it seem more final?" Toby asked softly, instantly getting what his sister was trying to say.

Spencer nodded, "Exactly."

"Hey," Toby said, shaking his head and kissing his sister's forehead again. "You're going to be fine. There's nothing final about this. You're going to beat it again. I promise that." Spencer smiled at her lap for a moment before she nodded and leaned her head onto Toby's shoulder, silently thanking him for his support.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Yes, No, Maybe So? How do you feel about this chapter?  
>Let me know ... <strong>REVIEW<strong>  
>Anyway, I hope you liked it. And I would love to hear from you.<br>Thanks for reading.  
>hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a head's up ... not going to lie, totally tried to play with your minds in the first part of this chapter. Was it too mean? Let me know.

* * *

><p>"No," Puck said shaking his head the next day as he turned into the parking lot of Spencer's <em>favor.<em> "No way, Anderson. We're not doing this. When you said you needed me to drive you somewhere I figured that it was going to be to the mall so that you could get your mom and brother a Christmas gift. This is a big _favor_ and your mom is going to kill me." Spencer told him to relax and rolled her eyes as she reached to unbuckle her seatbelt. Puck's arm shot out to his side and grabbed her wrist before she could complete her task, "Not until I've parked the truck," he muttered when looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Okay," Spencer said, drawing out the last syllable of the word and smiling as Puck pulled into a parking spot. Despite his assurances that he was not going to let her do this, he seemed about ready to go along with it. She smiled even wider when Puck turned the truck off and unbuckled his seatbelt. "And don't worry, my mom won't care." Puck's eyebrows rose, silently telling her that he didn't believe a word she said. Spencer sighed and rolled her eyes, "Fine, she probably will care, but on the bright side she probably won't know for a while." Puck shook his head and groaned when Spencer unbuckled her seatbelt and slid out of his truck. She turned around to look at him over her shoulder before she headed toward the door of the building.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered under his breath as he climbed out of the driver's seat and followed the small brunette into the building. She smiled at him from the reception desk as he walked over to her. "I still don't think we should be doing this," he whispered after the receptionist walked away to file some paperwork. "Why are we doing this?" Spencer looked up at him with an innocent look on her face, waiting for him to decide why they were doing it. "If this is some like list of things you want to do before you die I think we should leave. That's a stupid reason to do this."

Spencer smiled and shook her head. "God," she laughed, "_A Walk to Remember,_ much?" She leaned to her right so that she could hip check the taller man next to her. "And no," she said softly, turning to look at him and waiting until he was looking back at her before she continued. "This has nothing to do with the cancer or me dying or anything like that. This has to do with me. And it's something I've always wanted to do. And I figure, you're the best person to do it with."

Puck opened his mouth to continue arguing with her but he couldn't get a word out before the receptionist came back to tell them that their room was ready. Spencer turned around to smile at him and winked before she grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway that the receptionist had directed them toward. He gulped, in high school he had always talked a big game, but there were some things that made him nervous and right now, Spencer was making him nervous. She seemed to sense his discomfort because a moment later she squeezed his hand as if trying to comfort him. Once they made it to the room Spencer let them in and closed the door behind her. "You look nervous," she commented as she sat down.

"I am," Puck admitted with a chuckle. He had briefly considered lying and telling her that he wasn't nervous, but she had been watching him the entire time, she would see the lie. She smiled softly at him, she didn't look nervous at all. "Your brother is going to kill me," Puck muttered as he took a step closer to where she was sitting. She shrugged her shoulders as if it didn't matter to her.

"And your mother," he said. Another step closer. Another shrug.

"And I don't even want to think about what your dad will do to me," he added. Another step closer. Another shrug.

"You're not even going to try to tell me I'm not right?" Puck asked, taking another step closer to the small brunette and realizing too late that he was now within arms length from her. She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to her and smiling when he practically landed on top of her. "Because you know it's true," Puck said, shaking his head as he sat down next to her.

"Just shut up," Spencer said, her dimples showing up on her cheeks when she smiled. "And hold my hand. And tell me it's not going to hurt as much as I think it will."

Puck nodded and reached out to grab her hand. "I wouldn't know," he said softly, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I've never really been through it." Spencer smiled at him softly, and nodded, silently prompting him to just do what she said. "It's not going to hurt as much as you think it will." Spencer giggled and squeezed his hand before telling him that he was a horrible liar.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck groaned when he caught sight of the look of pain on Spencer's face twenty minutes later. Her blue eyes were squeezed tightly shut and she was biting her lip, trying to force herself not to cry. "Spence," he whispered, leaning his head down so that he could whisper in her ear. "Are you okay? Do you want to stop this?" Spencer didn't say a word. She didn't shake her head. She didn't even open her eyes. "Spencer," Puck whispered, this time trying to sound more stern. "Spencer, open your eyes and tell me."

"Tell you what?" Spencer asked, her tongue flicking out from between her lips so that she could lick the small bubble of blood that was left behind by her teeth.

"Do you want to stop this, Babe?" Puck asked, silently cursing himself when the pet name slipped out, but Spencer didn't even seem to hear him.

She looked as though she was about to shake her head, but she stopped herself. "Just get it over with," she hissed, keeping her head perfectly still. Puck nodded and grabbed her hand, gently squeezing it before turning his head to look at the man who was sitting behind Spencer with the tattoo needle in his hand. Puck nodded and gave the man a silent pointed look that clearly said, _Well you heard her, do as she says_. The man nodded and put the needle back on Spencer's bare shoulder, he gave her other shoulder a small squeeze and told her that she was doing fine and that they were almost done. "Good," Spencer muttered, squeezing her eyes shut again and inhaling sharply as the man started to tattoo over her scapula. "Because I am never doing this again."

"Ah Honey," the tattoo artist said with a chuckle, "you'll have to do it at least once more. You've got one more date to put on here don't you?"

"Hopefully," Spencer said with a smile and a pained looking wink in Puck's direction. Puck smiled at her and nodded before letting go of her hand and moving to stand behind her so that he could look at the new tattoo on her shoulder. "What do you think, Noah?" she asked as the tattoo artist used some cotton to wipe up the excess ink and the small amount of blood leaking through the newly inked skin. "Does it look good?" Puck nodded silently before he realized that she could not see his movement. He told her that it looked fine.

But in all honesty, it looked more than fine. When he had first pulled up in front of the tattoo parlor he had thought that this tattoo was on some "Before I die of Cancer" wish list. That Spencer was simply going to walk into the parlor and pick some tattoo off the wall - a butterfly or a flower or something as lame. But that was the complete opposite of what she had done, her tattoo not only had meaning, but it was very specific - something that could only be used by her.

_Fighter_  
><em>11.21.'96<em>  
><em>08.02.'05<em>

She had told him what the dates meant. They were the two dates that she had heard that the cancer was gone. She had also called the tattoo and "add-on" tattoo as she planned to add another date once she beat this reappearance and once she was sure that the cancer was never going to come back she was going to add one final word at the bottom of the list._ Survivor_.

Puck had never been a huge fan of girls with tattoos, but as far as he was concerned, this tattoo was all right. Better than all right, it was deserved. And the fact that she had enough hope to get it made it beautiful. Not that he was going to ever say that out loud. He had a reputation after all, and that reputation had nothing to do with growing a vagina. "Noah?" Spencer asked, drawing Puck's attention away from his thoughts and back to her. Puck grunted to let her know that he was listening. "Can you take a picture?" she asked, forcing herself not to turn and look at him, the last thing she wanted was to move her shoulder. "I want to see what it looks like before he puts the bandage on it." Puck pulled his phone out of his back pocket and leaned around the tattoo artist so that he could take a picture of it right after the man put the finishing touches on the last number. Once he had saved the picture he handed the phone to Spencer so that she could look at it. "Oh," she gasped, "I love it."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Spencer had always loved Christmas. It wasn't because of the gifts that she got so much as the feeling. Everyone was nicer around Christmas than they were during the rest of the year. And she loved the feeling she got when someone unwrapped a present she had gotten them and the look on their face told her that she had picked out the perfect gift. She was big on getting the perfect gift for people because taking the time to pick it out showed them how much they truly meant to her. She looked forward to Christmas all year long (except not in the _Hoos down in Whoville_ kind of way), but she could already tell that this year Christmas was going to be different.

Her older brother Zachary, his wife Erin, and their two children arrived at the house two days before Christmas and planned to stay for the entire fact that her brother came to visit was nothing new, they came every year. But it was no secret that Erin and Spencer's mother didn't get along at all, which is why it was odd that they planned to stay for a week. Spencer had the distinct feeling that it was because of her. And her suspicions were concerned twenty minutes after her brother's arrival while she was playing with his older son, Mason. "Spencer?" the three year old asked with his toddler lisp. "You going away?"

Spencer looked up from the coloring book she had been coloring in and shook her head at the young boy. "No, Mace," she said, shaking her head again. "I'm not going away. Why do you think that?" The boy shrugged and picked up another crayon mumbling something about what his mommy had said in the "vroom vroom." Spencer chuckled at Mason's way of saying _car_ before she stood up and told him that she would be right back. She walked into the kitchen where Erin and Stacey were cooking dinner in a tense silence. "Hey Erin," she asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. "Quick question. Where exactly does Mason think I'm going?"

If it was possible the room got even more tense. Spencer's eyes darted in her mom's direction to see that the woman's knuckles were white, her grip on the knife in her hand was tight. She glanced back at Erin, the redhead was biting her lip and trying to look anywhere except at Spencer or her mother's tense back. "No specific location, really," Erin finally muttered when she realized that Spencer wasn't going to leave without getting an answer to her question. "Just away." Spencer raised her eyebrows and waited for her sister-in-law to continue. Erin sighed, "Zach and I were talking in the car on the drive here. I wanted to get a hotel room because I didn't want to impose on your mother for the week." Spencer snorted, that was Erin's polite way of saying that she didn't want to stay in the same house as Stacey for a week. "But Zach wanted to stay here. He said you might not be here next year and he didn't want to miss your ..."

"Her what?" Stacey asked, her voice hard and tense as she set the knife on the counter and turned around to glare at Erin. "Her what?" Stacey asked again, her voice deadly. "Her last Christmas?" Spencer sighed as she took a step closer to her mother. She got like this whenever someone brought up the chance that she might not beat cancer. It didn't matter how bad it got, how small the chances of Spencer surviving were. People were expected to be positive around Spencer, even if every statement out of their mouth was a lie. "Is that what you mean Erin?"

"Mom," Spencer said, her voice sharp. Stacey turned to look at Spencer briefly before turning to glare at Erin again. "First of all, don't get mad at Erin. Zach was the one that told her it might be my last Christmas." Her mother shook her head, refusing to believe that it had been her son that had broken her rule about talking about Spencer's condition. "And second of all," Spencer said, her voice getting louder in an attempt to force her mother to listen to her. "You need to face the reality here. I have. This could be my last Christmas. My third chemo session is next week, Henderson's going to check the cancer response, but if I haven't gotten any better things are going to get a lot worse really fast."

"You've beaten it before," Stacey said, a smile resting on her lips as if she was hoping that her positive attitude would be enough to convince Spencer and anyone else that might doubt her that the brunette was going to come out of this okay ... better than okay, even. "Twice to be exact."

Spencer rolled her eyes at her mother, it wasn't as though he needed to be reminded that she had beaten the disease before. She had a secret tattoo to remind her. "I know, Ma. But the second time was harder than the first. And Henderson told us we needed to prepare for everything. And that includes the chemo not working." Her mother pressed her lips into a tight line and shook her head before she turned away from Spencer and picked the knife back up. Spencer reached out and gently patted Erin's hand, silently letting the redhead know that she didn't blame her for what she had said before she walked closer to her mother and hugged her from behind. "I love you, Mom," she whispered quietly, kissing her mother's cheek before she walked back into the living room to continue playing with her nephews.

-.-.-.-.-

The Anderson family had thrown an annual Christmas party ever since they had arrived in Lima. And this year was no different, despite the fact that Spencer was sick and her dad was not in the country. So, like every other year on the night before Christmas Eve almost the entire town of Lima arrived on Spencer's front steps. Her mother had put her on door duty for the first hour so Spencer was the first face that most people saw when they arrived at the house. Not that Spencer really minded, she always got the first look at the food people had brought so that when the buffet was finally opened she would know exactly where she wanted to go and what she wanted to eat. "Principal Figgins," she said with a smile as she opened the door to see her former principal and his wife standing on the door step. "How are you?" she asked as she hugged him briefly before turning to shake hands with his wife. "How's McKinley treating you?" Figgins smiled and nodded before answering her question and asking her about Brown. "Oh it's great," Spencer said with a nod, looking over the principal's shoulder to see Noah Puckerman and his family standing on the step as well. Puck caught her eye and winked, making her smile and keeping her from being too sad about the fact that she wouldn't be going back to Brown. She shook her head, "Well look at how rude I'm being, come on in." She smiled and greeted Mrs. Puckerman before she told Sarah where she could find Toby. "You," she said, grabbing the collar of Puck's shirt and beginning to pull him toward the back of the house. "Come with me."

"I like the way this is going," Puck joked as he tried to steer Spencer toward the stairs and up to her room. But the brunette simply laughed and continued to pull him until they made it to the informal living room in the back of the house where the rest of the kids from the Glee club were already sitting. "So I'm the last one, huh?" Puck asked as he threw himself down on the couch between Rachel and Sam and pulled Spencer down so that she was sitting on his lap.

"Well, Schue hasn't gotten here yet, but yeah," Spencer said with a nod as she threw her legs across Sam's lap and leaned into Puck's chest. "Pretty much." The group made sounds of surprise at the fact that Will Schuester was going to be at the party that year. "Yeah," Spencer said with a smile. "I invited him last week. He said that he'd love to come because it will probably be the last time that he gets to sing with all of us." Puck poked her in the stomach, giving her a pointed look when she turned to look at him, he didn't like the words last time. Spencer rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You know, because I bet it's safe to assume that most of us won't be coming back to Lima once we've graduated."

Rachel nodded and linked her fingers with Finn's while leaning her head against Puck's shoulder. "I for one will be staying in New York. Finn and I have already started looking for an apartment together and I expect that I will be on Broadway by the end of next year."

"And I will have a front row ticket to your first show," Spencer said with a laugh as Mike sat down on the floor in front of her and leaned his head against her thigh. It got quiet for a moment as everyone began to think about their plans for the coming year. Puck couldn't help but wonder if Spencer even bothered making plans anymore or if she planned to just put her life on hold until she knew if she was going to get better. She had lowered her hand onto Mike's head ad was now absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, something that the Asian seemed to really enjoy if the fact that he had leaned his head closer to her hand and closed his eyes was anything to go by.

Quinn was the one to break the silence a minute or two later. "Can you believe how far we've come?" she asked, looking around at everyone in the room. Everyone turned to look at her, some of them raising their eyebrows, and waited for her to continue her thought. "I mean, think about when we first started Glee club. I could hardly stand any of you, Tina had a stutter, Santana still thought she liked boys, Kurt had never had a boyfriend, Mercedes was in love with a gay boy. And don't get me started on all the relationship drama we've had through the years."

Spencer nodded as she shifted closer to Puck's body, the mohawked boy subtly wrapped his arm around her waist so that he could hold her closer to him incase she tried to move away. "New Directions was kind of incestual," she murmured. "I mean Quinn and Finn, Puck, Sam. Rachel with Puck, Jesse, Finn. Tina with Artie and Mike. Santana with, well almost everyone. Sam and Mercedes ..."

"Me and you," Sam interrupted, surprising everyone.

"What?" Puck almost roared as he turned to look at the blonde sitting next to him with Spencer's feet in his lap. He was rubbing her small, stockinged feet, something that had looked innocent and friendly at first but didn't anymore. He thought back to the last time the group had gone to the karaoke bar and how Spencer and Sam had hung out together almost the entire time. Of course they had had something in high school, how had he not noticed.

Spencer blushed as she smiled at Sam before turning to look at everyone else who was staring at them. She bit her lip. "It was only a small thing," she said. "At the beginning of the year. Sam was in love with Mercedes and I ... well I liked someone else."

Sam smirked at Spencer and squeezed her foot, he knew exactly who she had liked their senior year. "Since neither of our preferred partners wanted us we just kind of started hanging out together. It ended right before Valentine's Day when Mercedes took me back."

Puck wanted to ask Spencer who she had liked but the question was interrupted before he could even get it out by an older guy that had just walked into the living room. "Spence," the guy said, getting Spencer's attention. "Mr. Schue's here and mom told me to tell you to come socialize a bit more before you disappear with your friends. She wants to give you a chance to see everyone." Spencer nodded and smiled at the group before standing up off the couch and telling them that she'd be back as soon as possible. Puck couldn't help but glare when he watched her stoop to kiss Sam's cheek and whisper something in his ear before she left the room.

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><p>Author's Note: So ... what do you think of this chapter?<br>Did I get anybody's hopes up with the beginning? Kind of hope I did.  
>I know that it's almost march, but I figured I would bring some Christmas spirit to everyone.<br>You should return the favor by sending me so review love ... just saying.  
>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. More coming soon (it'll come faster if I get some reviews <strong>hint, hint<strong>).  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"Never have I ever worn handcuffs," Artie said with a chuckle as he watched Santana and Puck reach into the center of the circle to grab shot glasses and their choice of alcoholic beverages. It came as no surprise that they were the only two to have worn handcuffs before, but the wink Santana sent in Puck's direction silently told the group that Puck had been the one to put the Latina in the cuffs in the first place.<p>

"What are we doing?" Spencer asked as she walked back into the room just in time to watch her two friends take their shots of beer. Finn told her that they were playing Never Have I Ever and that Artie had just gotten Puck and Santana with handcuffs. The small brunette smiled before sitting down gracefully on Artie's lap, "Then hand me the champagne," she said, crossing her right leg over her left, "because I need to take a shot."

"The rule is that if you're taking a shot of champagne instead of beer or the half shot of liquor you have to tell the story," Rachel warned, glancing to make sure that her friend understood what she was getting herself into before she poured the shot of the less alcoholic beverage. Spencer nodded and held her hand out for the shot glass. Rachel poured the champagne and handed it to the brunette before settling back down next to Finn and waiting for the story.

Spencer smirked and held the glass up in the air in a toast, "Here's to you Sam, and our last time together!" Her small speech was met by gasps and cheers from the members of the Glee club around her as she took the shot. "That was enough of a story for you guys right?" Spencer asked as she handed her glass to Mike so that he could put it back in the center of the circle. "You don't really need to know the details do you?"

"No," Puck and Sam said at the same time. Sam turned to grin at Puck but was met by a glare from his mohawked friend. He cleared his throat, "My turn?" he asked, they were going around the circle but with Spencer sitting down on Artie's lap he wasn't sure if he was next or she was. Spencer nodded, wanting time to think before she took her turn, and telling him that he could go if she could go after him. The group agreed. "Umm, never have I ever shaved my head." Puck reached out to grab a shot glass and was surprised when Spencer held her hand out for one too. He reached for the champagne before he thought better of it and grabbed one of the beer bottles. She nodded, not particularly wanting to explain why she had shaved her head.

The group made a noise of protest and Spencer sighed, knowing that it would probably be worse if she didn't say anything about why she had once shaved her head so she took the shot. "I went through this really rebellious stage during the first two years of high school," she said with a shrug. "It really freaked my mom out when I cut my hair short so one night I just shaved it all off." Puck looked around the group and noticed that none of them really seemed to believe her, but no one looked like they wanted to call her out on it either. She handed the shot back to Puck. "Never have I ever ... kissed Santana," she said with a grin and a wink at Finn, Sam, Puck, Mike, and Britney. Puck took his shot and groaned, knowing that this was going to be a long, probably very drunk night if the game kept going in the direction it was.

The group played for another two hours until they were sufficiently tipsy and knew probably too much about the rest of the people in the room. After they were all done Spencer had decided that they should watch a Christmas movie, seeing as Christmas was tomorrow and so she had run upstairs to pick out a movie while everyone else settled down on the furniture or on each other with their left over drinks. Spencer came running back into the room and popped a movie into the dvd player before settling into the open spot between Mike and Finn. She sat there for a moment before she jumped back up off the couch and moved over to the smaller one that Puck and Sam were sitting on. "I love you guys," she said, talking to the two boys she had just walked away from, "but that is obviously the couple couch." Puck looked up and nodded when he realized that the only people on the couch now were Rachel, Finn, Mike, and Tina. He could see why Spencer might be uncomfortable between the two couples.

"So what are we watching?" he asked as he attempted to subtly wrap his arm around Spencer's waist. His hand bumped Sam's arm though and he glanced up just in time to see the blonde send a wink in his direction before shifting his body in a way that hid Puck's arm from the rest of the group. Puck had to hand it to the kid - he was mad at Sam for apparently being with Spencer during high school, but the blonde obviously thought he knew how Puck felt about the girl between them and was trying to help him out

"It's a Wonderful Life," Spencer whispered as she leaned her head against Puck's shoulder as the movie began to play. "It's my favorite," she whispered even softer. Puck nodded and leaned his head slightly to the side so that it was resting softly on top of Spencer's. She breathed out a happy sounding sigh before she turned her head to the right so that her mouth was next to his ear. "I've always wanted to watch this movie with a guy I liked and his arm around me," she whispered even softer, barely audible. Puck chuckled and Spencer giggled in response. "I guess I'll have to settle for you," she added, before tilting her head just enough to place a soft kiss on his jaw line. Before he could even register what had happened or respond she had turned her head back to the screen and didn't even seem as though she was paying attention to him.

The movie was a long one. Puck had never seen it before, but he hadn't assumed that it was going to be two hours long. Spencer had tried to stay awake, he could tell by the fact that she kept shaking her head and blinking, but after a half hour she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Puck smirked and shook his head, this had happened the last time that they had watched a movie together. He glanced over her head to see Sam staring at her too, he raised his eyebrows at the blonde. Sam shrugged, a smile finding its way across his lips, "You were the reason we hooked up senior year," he whispered, soft enough that he didn't wake up the girl between them and no one else heard him.

"What?" Puck hissed back, not sure if he had heard Sam's whispered statement correctly.

"I wanted Mercedes and she wanted you," Sam said with a shrug. "But she couldn't work up the nerve to tell you. So she settled for me." Puck would have felt bad for Sam at the word _settled_ but Sam didn't seem to mind. "We had fun," he whispered, smiling wider. "A lot actually, but both of us knew that it wouldn't work in the end." Puck raised his eyebrows again, trying to understand what Sam was trying to tell him. Sam sighed, "I love her," he said, shaking his head. "But we're just friends. She's great, so if you want her you should make a move." Puck nodded, glancing down to make sure that Spencer had slept through this conversation. "But," Sam added, leaning even closer to Puck, "If you hurt her I will kill you."

Puck wasn't even going to argue with that statement. He wasn't sure if he wanted to date Spencer, but he did know that he didn't want to hurt her. If he did Sam would have to get in line because Puck would be the first. "Hey Trouty, Puckerman!" Santana called from the chair that she and Britney were sharing. "Are the two of you having fun whispering like a couple?"

Puck smirked, "You're just jealous that you and Britney are no longer the hottest gay couple in the group, Lopez!" He fired back.

"I take offense to that," Kurt spoke up from the floor where he and Blaine were cuddling. Puck looked at Sam, trying to keep a straight face for a moment before the two burst out in laughter, quickly followed by the rest of the group.

Spencer slept through the entire movie. She slept through the credits while the rest of the group stood up and got their coats and prepared to leave. She slept through the massive amount of awkward seated goodbye hugs Puck gave to everyone as they left. She slept through the goodbye kisses her friends gave her on her forehead and cheeks. She slept through Toby walking into the room and asking if Puck would mind carrying her up to her room, in return Toby would drive Sarah home. (Puck wasn't sure if that was a smart deal to make, but he obliged.) She slept through the trip up the stairs and into her room. But she finally opened her eyes as Puck laid her down on the bed and began to take off her shoes. "Noah?" she whispered, reaching up her hand to cover her mouth when she yawned.

"Yeah?" Puck asked as he got her left boot off and began to work on the right one. How did girls get these boots on and off so easily? "What's up?" he asked as he gave another tug and got the boot off. He didn't care how good they looked on her, it wasn't worth how long it took to get the boots off. He lifted the blankets and tucked her legs underneath them as she yawned again.

"What happened to the movie?" she asked him as she rolled onto her side and curled herself around one of her pillows so that she could look at her mohawked friend. Puck smiled and told her that the movie had ended a while ago and that she had slept through it. She pouted. "But I missed my favorite part," she whispered.

"What was your favorite part?" Puck asked, not sure if he was really interested in what her favorite part was or if he just wanted to hear her talk for a bit longer. He had a feeling that he knew what part was her favorite part because there was one part of the movie that all the girls had freaked out over. And he could easily imagine Spencer doing the same thing if she had been awake.

She yawned again, "What is it that you want, Mary?" she whispered, and Puck wasn't surprised that she seemed to have the line memorized. "What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary." Puck smiled and told her that he liked that part too. She smiled sleepily and cuddled even further into her pillow. Puck took that as his cue to leave so he bent down to give her a brief kiss on her forehead and then he turned to leave. He didn't get more than two steps away from the bed when Spencer's arm shot out and she grabbed his wrist, "Stay?" she whispered softly, looking at him with wide blue eyes before glancing at the empty side of her bed and back to him.

Puck planned to say no. There was no way that her mom was going to be okay with that. Or either of her brothers. Or his mom for that matter. He should have said no or told her that he'd stay some other night. But instead he nodded and turned back toward her bed. He sat down and took his own shoes off before climbing over her and laying down next to her above the blankets. She smiled for a moment before she rolled over and curled into his side instead of into the pillow. He stiffened for a moment, not sure of what he should do - they had cuddled before, but it had been on the couch or a time when it was clear that he wasn't going to be spending the night. But then he shook his head, he was being stupid, there was really nothing different between the two other times that they had cuddled ... except for the fact that he hadn't known that she had once liked him. But he could deal with that. He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her, allowing her to snuggle even closer to him. She let out a happy sounding sigh before closing her eyes. "Spence?" Puck asked after a minute or two of silence. The brunette hummed softly, letting him know that she was listening. "I'd give you the moon, you know, if I could?" he asked, part of him hoping that she would remember this in the morning, while another part of him hoped that she wouldn't.

A soft smile spread across her lips. "I'll take it," she whispered, not opening her eyes. "Then what?"

-.-.-.-.-

Puck left early the next morning, slipping out of Spencer's bed before she woke up. He had planned to leave the house unnoticed, he figured that no one would be awake at six in the morning, but as he opened the front door he found himself face to face with a man that Spencer had introduced as her older brother the day before.

Zach smiled at the mohawked man as he pulled his Ipod earphones out of his ear and wiped some sweat off of his forehead. "Puckerman, right?" he asked as he brushed past the kid and shut the door behind him. "I just got back from a run," he explained unnecessarily as he wiped more sweat from his forehead. "Come keep me company while I cool down." Puck wanted to say no, but the look the man shot him clearly said that he had no choice. So he nodded and followed the man into the kitchen.

"Hey man," he said, reaching one of his arms up to rub the back of his neck the way he always did when he was nervous. "Look, I'm sorry about staying over last night." Zach glanced at him with raised eyebrows as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a plastic water bottle. He unscrewed the cap and drank half of it in one pull as he waited for Puck to continue. "I can promise you we didn't do anything though," Puck said, holding his hands out in front of him in a sign of surrender. "I mean I slept on top of the blankets."

Puck wasn't sure why he felt the need to defend himself to Zach. The old Puck would have bragged about his exploits and even though he hadn't slept with Spencer he might have insinuated that he had just to get a rise out of her brother. He had always loved throwing his conquests in the face of the girls' boyfriends or brothers. But Spencer was different. In part because she was sick, although she would kill him if she knew that he was treating her differently because of the cancer. And in part because, like Rachel in high school, he actually cared about her - he didn't want to upset her or hurt her. It felt strange.

Zach finished the bottle of water before answering. He smiled at Puck and shrugged. "My guest room is right next door to her room," he said with a nod, "I know the two of you didn't do anything." Puck nodded, confused as to why they were having this conversation if Zach knew that they hadn't had sec the night before. "I'm not mad at you, Puckerman," Zach said, shaking his head. "I wanted to thank you, to be honest."

"Thank me?" Puck asked, raising his eyebrows, this was new territory for him. He wasn't sure what to do now.

Zach nodded, "Yeah," he said, his face and tone growing serious. "I don't get to see Spence all that often," he explained, "The last time I saw her was Thanksgiving and before that it was last Christmas. But she found out about her relapse during Thanksgiving break and I can tell you that it destroyed her. I mean, she was upset the last time she relapsed, but this time was different. When she went into remission in high school we all thought that it was done, gone. She wasn't going to get sick again. She allowed herself to live, you know - she joined Glee club, made real friends for the first time in her life, went to college, finally started making plans for the future and then she relapsed again. She was a mess."

"And I help her?" Puck asked, finally making the connection between what Zach was telling him and why he was thanking him. Zach nodded, a grim smile on his face as if he would rather live in a world where Spencer did not need Puck to make her happy. "How?" Puck breathed out, not quite sure what he was doing that made Spencer so happy.

"Hell if I know," Zach said with a shrug. "But her smiles around you look more real than any smile I've seen since getting here. She actually laughs around you. I think part of it is because you are the first person outside of our family that she told about the cancer." Puck raised his eyebrows, silently asking why that made a difference. "We can't just run away if things get to hard," Zach said, gesturing at a family picture that was hanging on the kitchen wall. "But you can, and the fact that you didn't; the fact that you stuck around after finding out about the cancer and didn't start treating her any differently, I think that it gave her hope. Hope that other people might react the same way. That when she finally tells everyone else they won't start treating her like she's dying. And maybe even hope that she can beat this a third time."

Puck nodded, thinking about the tattoo he had taken her to get and how she planned to get at least one more date tattooed on her shoulder. She did have hope that she was going to beat this again. But ddid this hope really come from him? That surprised him. He smiled at the thought before looking up at Zach. "You don't have to thank me," he said with a shrug. "I'm not going anywhere and I hope she knows that."

Zach nodded, "I think she does," he said before he smiled and let the serious look drop off his face. "Well," he said, "I'm going to go take a shower before my wife wakes up and starts complaining about how much I stink. But you have a good holiday and I'll see you soon. Spence says that you're taking her to her next chemo appointment?" Puck nodded, glad that Spencer hadn't changed her mind about letting him take her. Zach nodded too, "Well I'll see you then, I guess."

Puck nodded, "Tell her I said Merry Christmas and to call me if she needs anything," he said before turning and leaving the kitchen. A small part of him sad that he was letting her brother deliver the message for him instead of doing it himself. But knowing that he couldn't stick around the house any longer. He really didn't want to go through another awkward experience with Spencer's other brother.

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><p>Author's note: And that's the end of the chapter. I hope you guys liked it!<br>Please, please, please send me some review love.  
>I love reviews.<br>And as much as I like hearing from **Dalonega Noquisi** and **Katastrophe101** I would love to hear from some new readers (not that I want to discourage these two from reviewing)!  
>So you ... with the face ... who hasn't reviewed yet ... Send in one! It'll make me happy. And a happy author gives gifts to her readers.<br>Anyway, once again ... hope you liked it.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a heads up ... This chapter's all about chemo. I don't personally have cancer, nor have I gone through chemotherapy. But I've done some research ... not enough to call myself an expert, but enough to think this chapter could almost pass as accurate. Hope you like it.

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><p>Puck was surprised when they pulled up in front of the Elsa Humphrey Cancer Center. He hadn't really been sure what he thought the building was going to look like, but he had imagined that it was going to look a bit more foreboding than it did. It was a simple, almost friendly, looking one story building. Spencer smiled grimly at the building as she reached down to unbuckle her seatbelt. "You really don't have to stay," she said softly, continuing their discussion that had been going on for the last twenty-four hours. "Seriously, I'm probably going to be here for at least a couple hours and it really isn't anything special."<p>

Puck shook his head and unbuckled his seatbelt as well. "No," he said, "I want to stay here. So stop trying to change my mind. It's not going to work." Spencer gave him a resigned nod before she climbed out of the car and led him into the building. Puck watched as she nonchalantly opened the door and walked in, waving hello to the security guard who was sitting by the door as if she had been her many times before. Which, Puck though with a sigh, she had, this was not new to her like it was for him, this was her routine.

A nurse looked up from the front desk and squealed when she caught sight of Spencer. "Well if it isn't little Spencer!" the nurse cooed as she ran around the desk so that she could throw her arms around Spencer's small frame and hug her. "My shift started right after you left last time," she said, pulling away enough that she was able to press a kiss into Spencer's forehead, "I missed you peanut!" Spencer smiled softly and nodded at the nurse before introducing her to Puck. The nurse smiled at him. "Well it's about time that you told one of your friends what was going on in your life," she said, shaking Puck's hand an extra time before dropping it and simply staring at him with a large smile on her face.

Spencer smiled and shook her head before grabbing Puck's hand and pulling him away from the nurse. "Same station, Trace?" she called over her shoulder. And once she had gotten an affirmative response she pulled Puck to the left of the main desk to a large, narrow room that seemed to be full of partitioned areas. "One, two, three," Spencer counted and stopped in front of the third, for lack of a better word, cubicle. "This is me," she said softly as she walked inside and sat down on the ugly green leather reclining chair. Puck looked around the cloth walls and saw a bunch of pretty, hand-written quotes had been pinned to them. "That one's my favorite," Spencer said, pointing to a sketch of a boat on a rough ocean. The quote read, _Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors_.

"Do all the stations have quotes like that?" Puck asked as he continued to look at the other quotes on the cloth dividers around Spencer's chair. There were a lot of peaceful drawings as well.

Spencer shook her head, "These are all mine," she said, nodding at the walls. "I wrote them for encouragement the last time I relapsed. They're a bunch of proverbs from different cultures or quotes from cancer survivors. My mom and I used to pin them up and take them down for every session before Tracy said that I could just leave them up. They came down when I went into remission, but now that I'm back so are they. The last time I was here I overheard another patient requesting to be put in station three with the quotes, so I figure eventually they'll do it at all the stations. They give people hope I guess."

Puck nodded and looked around the station, if it weren't for the quotes there wouldn't be anything very hopeful about this place. The walls were painted a boring tan and there was a television in front of the chair and nothing else. "So what's going to happen now?" he asked just as the nurse, Tracey walked into their area.

"Well first we're going to weigh and measure her," Tracey said with a gentle smile as she set a scale down on the floor and walked over to the green chair to pull Spencer out of it. Spencer rolled her eyes and told Tracey that she wasn't that weak yet, but she didn't look too angry. She stood on the scale and even though Puck knew it was rude he glanced down to see the number on the scale before Spencer stepped off of it. Tracey let out a low whistle, "Ninety-three pounds," she said, nodding her head, "that's good."

Puck raised his eyebrows surprised that that was considered good. Spencer caught his look and she smiled at him as Tracey began to measure her height. "Considering that the last time I was here I was at ninety pounds it's good. Any weight gain is good." Puck nodded as Tracey wrote down Spencer's height on a chart and gestured for Spencer to sit down. "Here comes the hard part," Spencer breathed softly as she sat back down in the green chair and extended her right arm to the nurse. She clenched her fist as the nurse tied a rubber strip around her upper arm and began to tap the inside of her elbow, looking for a good vein. Puck watched as Tracey readied herself to stick Spencer with a needle. The brunette didn't flinch or even gasp as the needle pierced her skin, it happened enough that she was used to it. Once Tracey had drawn the blood she untied the rubber strip from Spencer's arm and patted her head before walking away. "She's taking my blood to the lab," Spencer said before Puck could even ask where she was going. "They can't start the chemo until they get my results back."

"How long does that usually take?" Puck asked. Spencer shrugged and told him that it could take up to an hour, but usually it only took around thirty minutes. Puck nodded, "What do you usually do while you wait?" he asked as he stood awkwardly by the cloth station divider.

"Depends on who came with me," Spencer said with a shrug. "If Toby's with me we talk and make fun of people we both know. If my mom's here I usually just listen to my Ipod. I like to tune her out and eventually she just leaves me alone to go bother one of the nurses." Puck nodded as he tried to think of what they could do while they waited. "You can leave if you want to," Spencer said with a soft smile. "I wasn't lying when I said there was nothing exciting about this. There's a lot of waiting." Puck shook his head, determined to stay the entire time. Spencer sighed, "Well then," she said softly, moving over a bit so there was room on the green chair. "Come sit down at least. We can watch some television?"

Puck sat down in the chair and grabbed the remote while Spencer shifted her body so that half of her was sitting in his lap, when she realized this she tried to shift in the opposite direction, but Puck wrapped his arm around her, catching her. "Just sit on me," he said softly. "You'll be more comfortable that way." Spencer nodded and rearranged herself so that she was curled up in his lap with both of his arms wrapped around her. She grabbed the remote and turned on the television. A news station appeared on the screen, she was about to change the channel when she realized that it was displaying footage of a crowd outside a cancer research facility in California. She glanced at Puck for a moment before turning the volume up so that they could hear better. The news reporter was interviewing a protester. "_Don't get me wrong_," the protestor said, shaking her head and holding her hands up in a defensive manner. "_I think that cancer is a bad thing. And I feel bad for those who have to go through it. But I don't think that we need to spend millions of dollars to find a way to end it. We need cancer. If we found a way to make cancer disappear we would save millions of lives and the country and world would become more overpopulated than it already is_." Puck glanced at Spencer, there were tears in her eyes and her grip on the remote was so tight that her fragile looking knuckles were a bright white. "I think that's enough of that," he said forcefully as he pulled the remote control out of her hand and quickly changed the channel. "Don't listen to her, Spence," he said as he settled on some early afternoon soap opera, that seemed like it would be a safe choice.

"She's right you know?" Spencer breathed softly, turning to look at Puck with wide, tear-filled blue eyes. Puck shook his head, but Spencer ignored him. "Think about it, Noah," she said softly, reaching up to brush away some of the tears. "This is the second time I've relapsed. I've gotten cancer three times in my life. It's not going to go away. Survival of the fittest and all that shit, I'm weak ... I'm going to die and chances are it's going to be because of this. People need to die in this world. In the United States a baby is born every three seconds and someone dies every seven seconds. That's two births for every death. Our population is growing. And if they find some ultimate cure for cancer that's one hundred per cent fool proof ... that's going put a stop to a large number of deaths and our country's going to suffer."

Puck shook his head. He would have agreed with Spencer if she had had this conversation with him before he had found out that she had cancer. He would have been able to look at it objectively and see that she had a point. But he couldn't do that now. He shook his head again for extra emphasis. "No," he said, turning to look at Spencer with fury burning in his eyes. "Don't you tell me that. Not while we're sitting here waiting for a chemo treatment. Not ever. This thing is not going to kill you and don't you dare say that it should. You are not weak! You've beaten this thing twice and you're going to beat it again. You are the fittest." He watched as the doubt filled her blue eyes. He shook his head again. "You're not going anywhere Spencer," he said sternly. "And you're not going to give up. I refuse to let you." New tears filled Spencer's eyes and all Puck wanted to do was kiss her until she forgot why she wanted to cry. He began to lean in, but quickly leaned away when Tracey coughing in front of them.

"Just came in to start the saline drip," Tracey said with a smile once Spencer had turned to look at her. Puck had no idea how long the nurse had been standing there, but if she had noticed that he was about to kiss Spencer she didn't let on. She wheeled an IV pole in behind her and hung a bag of clear liquid onto it. Spencer nodded, but didn't climb out of Puck's lap. She simply stretched out her right arm again and asked if her lab results had come back. Tracey shook her head, "Not yet, but I've been given the go ahead to give you your shots which means they're on their way." Spencer nodded and took a deep breath as Tracey tied the rubber strip around her arm again and told her to make a fist.

"What's a saline drip?" Puck asked as he watched Tracey get ready to insert the IV needle. Spencer hadn't flinched when her blood had been tested, but Puck felt the need to try to distract her anyway. He glanced at Tracey who nodded encouragingly and winked at him as she inserted the needle into the vein.

"Not entirely sure," Spencer said with a soft shrug as Tracey stood up to leave the station and go get her shots. "Just really makes you have to pee." Tracey scoffed and called over her shoulder that Puck shouldn't believe her and that of course she knew what saline was. Spencer sighed, "It's basically saltwater," she said. "It keeps my cells from becoming too dehydrated from all of the drugs they're about to pump into my system."

Puck nodded and smiled, but his smile soon turned into a grimace when Tracey walked back into their station with three shots. He didn't know much about shots, but there seemed to be a lot of liquid that was going to be pumped into Spencer's system. "What are those?" he asked as he watched Tracey sit down next to Spencer and prepare the first shot.

"Steroids," Spencer said with a yawn as if this entire routine was boring to her. Puck's eyes widened at the word and she laughed. "Not that kind," she said, shaking her head and not even noticing when Tracey injected the steroid. "They're cortisol steroids, a kind that is naturally occurring in the body. I just need more because they help reduce the nausea and allergic reactions that could flare up because of chemo they also help fight the cancer."

"And this one?" Puck asked, nodding toward the second shot that Tracey was about to administer.

"Benedryl," Spencer said as Tracey injected that shot too. "It helps with possible allergic reactions. These chemo drugs really aren't healthy for the body at all. They're actually kind of like toxic sludge. They make you really unhealthy." Tracey laughed at Spencer's statement and shook her head, but she didn't disagree with the girl.

"And the last one?" Puck asked as Tracey picked up the last syringe.

"It's not for now," Spencer said as Tracey put it in a small cardboard box and slipped the box inside her purse. "It's called Neulasta. I have to take it at home tomorrow, it's to encourage healthy bone marrow growth." Puck asked her why she was given shots that increased her bone marrow growth. "Even though DLBC is a pretty aggressive strain I still have a very good chance of beating it as long as it doesn't spread to my bones," Spencer said softly as she waved to Tracey as the nurse left the station. "But my survival chances basically get cut in half if it spreads to my bone marrow, so the booster shot is to help protect my bones, keep the cancer from spreading to them. Plus the chemo drugs attack my cells - healthy and cancerous, no discretion. That shot helps encourage healthy cell growth."

"That's good," Puck said with a nod, he liked the idea of keeping Spencer's survival chances up.

"It's painful is what it is," Spencer said, shaking her head. "It causes every bone in my body to basically overproduce marrow. You never really are aware of how many bones you have in your body until all two hundred and six of them scream out in pain at once." Puck nodded and asked her how she dealt with it. "I lay on my bathroom floor because it's tiled and cold and I cry and I curl into a little ball and just wait for it to be over," Spencer answered with an honesty that Puck hadn't expected. "No one in my family likes being around me those days."

Puck nodded and prepared to ask her another question, but Spencer's yawn interrupted his train of thought. "Tired?" he asked. Spencer nodded and told him that it was the Benedryl. He nodded, "You should get some sleep then," he said softly, planting a kiss on her forehead before lifting one of his hands to run his fingers through her hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Spencer opened her mouth to argue, but when another yawn came out she nodded and cuddled her head into his chest before closing her eyes. Puck smiled down at her for a moment before pressing another kiss onto the top of her head. "That's my girl," he whispered softly before closing his eyes as well and falling asleep.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck didn't know how long they had been sleeping, but they woke up to the flash of a camera. Spencer blinked and turned to look at him while he glanced as Tracey just in time to see her slip a camera onto the rolling cart behind her, she had taken the picture of them. He smiled at her for a moment before turning to look at Spencer who still looked confused. Granted, she had been injected with Benedryl so he couldn't really blame her. "You're labs came back, babe," Tracey said with a smile as she picked up a green ziplock bag from the cart behind her. Spencer nodded and asked her _how many_. How many? Puck didn't know what she meant, but Tracey quickly answered both of their questions as she opened the green bag. "You're getting half the cocktail today, Sweet." Tracey said as she pulled out four IV bags one of them bright red.

Spencer nodded, "That's not too bad," she said softly as Tracey detached the now empty bag of saline and replaced it with a new one. Tracey went out to get a new IV pole, Spencer sighed and shifted so that her left arm was stretched out and available to Tracey as well. Puck asked her if he should move, but she shook her head and told him that once the IV needle was in she'd be able to move her arms and he could get up if he needed to without messing things up. Tracey tied the rubber strip around Spencer's left arm and she made a fist until Tracey was able to find a decent vein to insert the new IV needle into. This drug was bright red and Puck stared at it in surprise as it began to travel down the tube toward Spencer's body. Spencer giggled at Puck's reaction. "Adriamycin," she said softly. "It's also called the red devil. It's what causes the hair loss, but that's not the scariest side effect." Puck raised his eyebrows, wondering what would be scarier than losing your hair.

"It makes you pee red for days," Tracey said with a smile as she glanced at Spencer's arm carefully, making sure that the drug wasn't leaking into the tissue as it was known to do. Everything looked good so she nodded and turned to leave until she would need to replace the IV bag with a new drug. "You're in good hands," she said, turning to smile at Puck. "This little girl knows more about chemotherapy than most people I know. She can probably answer your questions better than I can."

Puck nodded and waited until Tracey had left to ask his next question. "Why does she call you _little_?" he asked. "And_ Peanut_? She called you peanut when you first came in."

Spencer nodded with a smile and reached behind the chair to a little table. She pulled the drawer open and pulled out a picture frame. She handed the picture to Puck. There was a little bald girl in it sitting in a chair very much like the one they were in now, except that it was blue. And sitting next to her, holding her hand was a young Tracey. Spencer tapped the glass above the little girl's face. "That's me," she said softly. "Tracey used to live in New York, but she moved here when my family moved here for Henderson."

"She followed you to Ohio?" Spencer nodded. "Why?"

Spencer shrugged and smiled down at the photograph. "I was the only patient under the age of sixty at that facility," she said softly. "Tracey got really attached and I would still visit her after I had gone into remission. So when I relapsed and my mom found Henderson who specialized in caring for younger patients there was no question that we were going to move. Tracey didn't have any family ties in New York, no boyfriends or anything and there was a job opening here so she moved."

Puck nodded, not at all surprised that Tracey had gotten so attached to Spencer that she had followed the family to Ohio. Hell, he would do the same thing. He knew that now, not that he would be willing to tell anyone. But if she were to leave, to decide to go back to Rhode Island at the end of the break he would follow her. He didn't want to leave her alone. But more importantly he didn't want her to leave him alone. He turned to look at her and smiled when he realized that she had fallen asleep again.

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><p>Author's Note: Hey guys!<br>What did you think of this chapter? Do you want to go with Spencer to another one of her chemo appointments or do you just want to skip over them from now on? Let me know ... it's completely up to you. (Although, you have to review to let me know what you want...)  
>If you liked it, let me know.<br>If you hated it, let me know.  
>Reviews = love. And I like love.<br>As always, thank you to the wonderful **Dalonega Noquisi **for reviewing on the last chapter. And a new thank you to **Sk8rbitch **for not only reviewing but adding the story to her favorites! That made my day.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a heads up ... I had a lot of fun with this chapter. (That and I did more research Neulasta booster shots really are this painful.)

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><p>Spencer would not allow Puck to come visit her for the next two days. Not that he didn't try. He showed up at her house at least three times over the next two days, but no one would let him see her. When Stacey answered the door she had smiled at him and told him, "Today's not a good day, Sweetheart," she said. Puck's eyes widened at the last word, his own mother had never called him <em>Sweetheart<em>. They both flinched when they heard someone scream from inside the house. Stacey glanced over her shoulder toward the stairs before turning back to look at Puck. She sighed. The scream sounded again and this time Puck realized that it was Spencer. He tried to brush past Stacey to get to Spencer, but the small woman stepped in front of him, blocking his path. "Not today, Noah," she said, shaking her head. "She won't see you." That hurt more than Puck would have thought but he nodded and told Stacey to tell her daughter that he had tried to stop by. The woman nodded and smiled at him before shutting the door and rushing up the stairs to help her daughter.

The next time Puck stopped by it was Toby who answered the door. Toby smiled at him as if he had expected him. "She's fine," he said as he stepped out onto the front steps with Puck and shut the door, silencing another pain-filled scream from upstairs. Puck raised his eyebrows and looked expectantly at the door, waiting for Toby to let him in. Toby shook his head, the smile quickly dropping from his lips. "Seriously, Puck," he said, glancing over his shoulder toward the door. "She goes through this every time she has to take one of the booster shots. It hurts, but she's fine."

"I want to see her," Puck said in a flat tone. He believed Toby, he knew that Spencer was fine, but she shouldn't have to go through that pain by herself. From what she had told him at the cancer center she was curled up on the floor of her bathroom just trying to get through the pain. She needed him there to distract her, to talk to her and tell her that it was going to get better, just to hold her if that's what she needed while she cried. He knew that Toby had been around the last time Spencer had relapsed, but he didn't believe that Toby, Spencer's mother, or even Zach could help her the way he could. "She needs me," he said softly, turning to look at the younger boy.

Toby sighed, "Maybe she does," he said softly before he shook his head. "But I can't let you in until she says it's okay. And she hasn't yet. She doesn't want you to see her like this. She doesn't want anyone to see her like this. Won't even let me into her room. I know it's hard, but you need to respect her wishes." Puck moved forward, toward the door about to tell Toby to _fuck her wishes_, but Toby stopped him. He slid in between Puck and the door and shook his head. "You were with her yesterday," he said softly, "you saw what they did to her. All the needles and the drugs. She can't say no to that. Don't you think she should be able to say no to something? And when she does shouldn't people listen to her?"

Puck wanted to argue, but the kid had a point. So instead he nodded and told Toby to tell Spencer to call him if she needed anything. Toby nodded and said that he would, although they both knew that she wouldn't. He wouldn't hear from her until she wasn't sobbing in pain anymore. Puck smiled before heading back to his truck and driving away. Toby may have had a point, but the mohawked man knew that he would be back the next day to see if someone else would let him in the house to see Spencer. He didn't care that she wouldn't let Toby into her room to see her, he would get to see her the next day, even if he had to wait at the house all day.

He didn't wait around the house all day the next day, but he did visit twice. The first visit Zach answered the door. Spencer's older brother chuckled when he saw Puck standing on the front porch with his hands stuffed into his pockets. "What are you doing, Puckerman?" he asked, standing in the front hall and holding the door open. Puck didn't hear any screams coming from upstairs and Zach seemed to be waiting for him to walk into the house, that was a good sign. Puck nodded and walked into the entrance way, Zach shut the door behind him, but when Puck started to head toward the stairs, Zach shook his head and made a warning noise. Puck turned toward the older man with raised eyebrows. "She's still not ready to see you," Zach said softly.

"Then why did you let me in the house?" Puck asked as he sat down on the bottom step with a groan. It was good news that she wasn't screaming in pain anymore, but now that he was in the house and quiet he could hear the sound of choked sobbing coming from the floor above him. She was still in pain and she wouldn't let Puck try to help her.

Zach shrugged, "Because she's quieter now," he said. "And it's freezing out there, I wasn't about to go stand on the front porch with you while I talked you down from your _rescue mission_ like Toby did yesterday." Puck nodded. Zach nodded and glanced around the room to make sure that there was no one else in the entrance hall. "Listen man," he said, shaking his head, "I've never been as good as Toby about respecting her wishes. I never really cared that she didn't want anyone to see her during the two days after the shot, I couldn't handle the screaming and crying. I mean, she's my baby sister for christ's sake. I should have been able to protect her from things like that, you know?" Puck nodded, not sure why Zach was telling him this. Zach glanced around again before looking back at the younger man. "Anyway. Toby, my mom, my wife, the kids, and I are going to go get dinner around five just to get out of the house. Spencer's idea. If the front door happened to be left unlocked when we left I imagine that someone could go upstairs and check on Spencer once we left."

Puck smiled at Zach's attempt to be sneaky. "Five?" he asked, smiling wider when Zach nodded. "Better make it quarter after to be sure?" he asked. Zach nodded. Puck nodded in return. "I'll see what I can do," he said with another smile before turning around and walking out the front door. He hadn't gotten to see her yet, but he would be able to see her that evening. Even if she wasn't ready for him to see her. That made him feel better than anything else had in the last few days.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck drove back over to Spencer's house at five. He stopped his truck a block away and waited until quarter after five before driving up to the house. He wanted to make sure that everyone had left before he got there. Because even though Zach seemed to be on his side Spencer's mom and Toby seemed to want to respect his wishes and it would mess things up if one of the two of them were still at the house. But when he pulled up in front of the house there were no cars in the driveway which was a good sign. An even better sign was that the front door was unlocked, just as Zach had told him it would be.

Once he was in the house Puck paused on the bottom step, listening carefully for any sound in the house. All he could hear was his own breathing and a quiet sobbing coming from the floor above him. Puck could not imagine ever being in so much pain that he could spend an entire two days screaming and crying. Frankly, he didn't want to imagine being in that much pain. And he did not like that Spencer knew what that felt like. He climbed the stairs, taking them two at a time and walked as quickly as he could down the hallway until he was standing outside her door. It was there that he hesitated, not quite sure what to do. He could still hear her crying on the other side of the door and he wanted to see her, but he wasn't sure what he would say once she saw him. He knew that she would be angry, and that made him even more unsure. He took a final deep breath before he opened the door to her bedroom and walked inside.

She wasn't in her room. That much he could tell from first glance. But he could hear her sobbing for her attached bathroom. He quickly moved toward it, but paused when she called out from the bathroom. "Mom?" she called as he moved closer to the half-closed door. "Is that you?" She must have heard him walk into her room. Her heard a soft sob before she spoke again. "I told you to go get dinner," she called softly. "You didn't have to stay here. I'm fine."

Puck pushed the door all the way open to see her lying on the tiled floor, curled into a ball. Her eyes were shut tight and she was holding her fist in her mouth, biting on her knuckle, in an attempt to stay quiet. His jaw clenched when he realized this was all an attempt to keep her family from knowing how much pain she was in. "Well it's a good thing I'm not your mom," he said softly as he took another step into the bathroom. Her blue eyes snapped open in surprise. Puck shook his head at her as he sat down on the floor next to her. "And you are such a liar," he said with a tense, tight smile, trying to distract the girl from the pain she was in.

She pulled her fist out of her mother and almost smiled at him for a moment before she gasped and curled even tighter around herself, as if trying to contain some of the pain she was in. Puck cursed quietly to himself as he slid closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling until her head was cradled in his lap. "I told you I would call you when you could come over," Spencer whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks from the constant pain she was in.

"I was never very good at following directions," Puck breathed as he reached down to brush some hair out of her eyes and some tears off of her cheeks. "How do you feel, Kid?" he asked gently.

"Like shit," Spencer muttered, looking anywhere but at the man above her. "If I had known you were going to ignore my wishes and break into my house to see me I would have tried to make myself look a bit more presentable. Maybe put on some make-up to cover up the bags under my eyes or something like that."

Puck's eyes ghosted over her body, taking in the shorts and tank top, the bruises that covered her arms, up to the dark bags under her eyes. He shook his head and let one of his hands rest on the crook of her arm, his thumb lightly brushing over the angry bruises there. "You don't have to try to hide anything from me," he said softly. "I want you to tell me everything that's going on." Spencer snorted and looked away, as if she didn't believe him. "I mean it," he said, his face serious as he held her gaze. But then he allowed a smile to slip onto his lips. "And I didn't break in. Zach told me when your family was going to dinner and hinted that the front door might be unlocked while they were gone."

"Figures," Spencer said softly. She tried to look angry, but the almost happy glint in her eyes told Puck that it was just an act. As much as she had said that she did not want him to see her like this she was happy that he was there.

Puck smiled down at her before his gaze drifted back to the bruises on her arms. "Are these from the IVs?" he asked, his thumb still brushing over the bruises on her right arm. Spencer nodded, turning her head closer to his body and snuggling into his stomach. "Isn't there an easier way to give you the chemo?" he asked softly, his other arm reaching up into her brown hair so that he could run his fingers through it. Spencer let out a contented sigh. He smiled.

"There's this thing," Spencer said, her eyes closed, "It's called a port. They surgically implant it into your chest. If you have a port they don't have to find a vein or stick you with a needle in order to give you the chemo drugs. They simply insert the IV into the port." Puck nodded as he continued running his fingers through her hair, it seemed as if it calmed her down. He asked her why she hadn't opted for a port, it sounded much easier. Spencer sighed again and reached up her left arm to tug the top of her tank top down a bit. Her movement surprised Puck a bit until he noticed the scar about four inches below her right collarbone. It was small and circular and smooth as it was a few years old. "It doesn't look so bad now," Spencer said softly as Puck's fingers left the bruises on her right arm to brush over the scar. "But when the port is in it looks really bad. It was fine when I was younger, but now that I'm trying to hide the cancer the last thing I need is one of them sticking out of my chest."

"So you take needles over the easier way?" Puck asked as he removed his hand and pulled her tank top back up so that it was covering the scar again. Spencer nodded. Puck sighed, "Because you can cover up the bruises and pretend to be normal. You can't do that with the port?" Spencer nodded again. Puck wanted to tell her that she was being stupid, that she should just tell everyone what was going on, that they would find out eventually, but the look on her face told him not to go there. He sighed again, "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked softly. "We can watch that Breakfast Club movie if you want?" Spencer nodded and started to struggle out of her spot in his lap, but Puck stopped her with a chuckle.

"What?" Spencer asked, turning her head to glance at him. "What's so funny?"

"If you turned your head and just moved one or two inches down it would look like you were giving me head," Puck chuckled. Spencer groaned and rolled her eyes. She lifted her hand and halfheartedly punched Puck in the stomach, calling him a pervert under her breath as she tried to struggle up. Puck shook his head. "Stop," he said softly, watching her struggle was painful. He wrapped her small body up in his arms and stood up in one swift movement. He cradled her against his chest as he walked over to her bed and laid her down gently. "Where's the movie?" he asked as he turned around, looking for the chick flick in question.

"On the bookshelf," Spencer said softly as she adjusted her pillows so that she could sit up, leaning against the pillows for support. Puck nodded and put the movie into the dvd player before he jumped onto her bed and scooted next to her. "What are you doing?" Spencer asked as Puck wrapped his arm around her shoulders and used his hand to forcefully rest her head against his shoulder. He shushed her and told her that he was cuddling. Spencer laughed, but the laughter caught in her throat when she felt Puck press a kiss onto the top of her head. Puck had kissed the top of her head and her forehead several times since they had started hanging out. But this felt different. There was more pressure this time, as if he wanted to make sure that she noticed the kiss. And he lingered longer than he usually did. Spencer took a deep breath before turning her head and looking up at Puck with confusion-filled blue eyes. "Noah?" she asked, breathlessly as Puck tilted his head, bringing his lips to press against her forehead.

Puck shushed her again, pulling away from her just enough to tilt his head so that he could kiss her right cheek. Spencer lifted her hand and let it rest on his chest. Puck hesitated, knowing that if she were to try to push him away he would have to oblige. But instead of pushing him away her fingers clutched at his shirt, as if to keep him close to her. He leaned in again and pressed his

lips against her left cheek, pausing again. He wanted to give her time to stop this if she wanted to. Her breathing increased and her eyes closed, but she didn't do anything to stop him. He pulled away again, letting his lips hover over her lips, waiting for a reaction. "Noah," she breathed again. He smiled before lowering his lips so that he could press a soft kiss onto the tip of her nose. She opened her eyes and giggled, wrinkling her nose. "That wasn't nice," she whispered softly.

"What wasn't nice?" he asked, lifting his lips off her nose, but not pulling away from her. "I don't know what you're talking about," he teased.

"That," Spencer huffed, pulling away just enough to gesture between the two of them. "I thought that you were going to ... but then you didn't ... and I was ... but you ... you kissed my nose."

Puck smirked at Spencer's hesitation. "You thought I was going to what?" he asked, enjoying her embarrassment.

"Kiss me," Spencer said softly, her eyes looking anywhere but at him. "On the lips."

"And you were what?" He asked, enjoying this probably too much. Spencer shook her head, refusing to tell him. "Spencer?" Puck asked, his tone soft, as he slipped his hand under her chin and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. Her teeth scrapped against her bottom lip as she bit down on it and shook her head again. "You were what?" he asked, leaning in closer to her again and letting his lips hovers about an inch over hers.

"I was hoping you would," Spencer said softly. She closed her eyes so that she wouldn't have to look at Puck's face and a pink blush covered her pale cheeks.

A grin spread across Puck's lips as he moved both hands so that they were cupping Spencer's cheeks. And then before she could say anything, or even respond to his touch he leaned in and let his lips brush against her own. Her blue eyes sprung open in surprise as Puck pressed a single, gentle kiss to her lips. He had meant to just kiss her once, to be gentle and then to pull away from her so that he could judge her reaction. The last thing he wanted to do was to rush her. But all thoughts of pulling away left his head when she responded to his kiss. She had said that she had hoped that he would kiss her, but he had not expected that.

Puck kissed her again, a bit harder this time, and smiled when he heard Spencer's soft gasp. He allowed his tongue to slip between her now open lips for the briefest second before he pulled it back into his own mouth and rolled them so that she was laying below him on the bed and his hands were bracing his body above her. Spencer reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face down so that they could continue kissing. She wasn't going to beg, but she wanted Puck's tongue in her mouth again. When it seemed as though that wasn't going to happen she opened her mouth slightly and used her teeth to draw Puck's bottom lip into her mouth. Puck let out a strangled sounding growl at the new contact and Spencer turned her head, breaking the kiss so that she could giggle.

Puck sighed, he had not planned for the kiss to go that far, but he had also not planned for it to end with her laughing at him. She smiled up at him and giggled again as Puck flopped down on the bed next to her. She grabbed his hand and let him lace his fingers through hers as she rolled over into his side. "Thank you," she said softly, pressing a soft kiss onto his chest. "You're better than any of the painkillers my doctors have given for me."

Puck chuckled, "So next time you have to take the booster shot you're not going to try to keep me away, right?"

Spencer smiled at him before she tilted her head and kissed him on the lips. "Can we do this again?" she asked. He nodded. "Then no," she said with a giggle, "I'm not going to try to keep you away anymore."

"I'm holding you to that," Puck said as he rolled over Spencer again and kissed her again, quickly putting an end to her giggling.

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><p>Author's Note: So it took eleven chapters and almost 40, 000 words but Puck finally kissed the girl.<br>What do you think? Too soon? Should Spencer freak out and set them back to where they were before?  
>Liked it? Hated it? Let me know and send me some Review Love.<br>Seriously, I live off of reviews.  
>So if you like this story and haven't done it yet please do.<br>As always thank you to those that did review (Special note to **Katastrophe101** I'm really glad that you like that I research. I figured when I started this story that if I was going to write it I wasn't just going to bullshit it ... that seemed lame and too easy.)  
>Anyway, REVIEW.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>New Years Eve was looking better than Spencer had originally planned. By the time the thirty-first rolled around her nausea from the chemo and the bone pains from the booster shot had become manageable. Her bones still hurt a bit, mainly because she refused to take painkillers as she planned to drink a bit that night, but she could deal with it. The New Directions group had decided to drive into Columbus, rent a hotel room or two for the night, and go to some clubs. Rachel had wanted to travel to New York City and be in Times Square, but that idea was quickly vetoed by almost everyone. Spencer's mom had almost vetoed the plan as well until Puck had told her that he would watch over Spencer and text Stacey every half hour to let her know how things were going. Spencer had raised her eyebrows at that statement, highly doubting that Puck would actually do that, but he planned to. He had never been trusted by a girl's mother before, especially the mother of a girl he was ... involved with. He wasn't about to fuck this up.<p>

He had wanted to drive to Columbus with Spencer, but she had informed him that the girls were driving up in one car and the boys were driving up in another. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to wonder why Puck seemed attached to her hip. He had tried to argue with her as she packed her bag, but she had shook her head and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips, "It's going fine," she said, smiling as she pulled away from him. "The ride to Columbus is only like two hours. You can deal with not seeing me for two hours." Puck shook his head and grabbed her arm, pulling her closer to him. She laughed for a moment, but was quickly silenced when he pressed his lips against hers again. "Stop," she said after a minute, "I have to pack."

"You're fine in what you have on now," Puck said, shaking his head and trying to pull her back to him. She laughed and sidestepped his reaching arms. "You don't need pajamas or anything like that."

"Uh huh," Spencer said, rolling her eyes as she walked into her closet to pick out clothing possibilities for the evening. She could have just picked out one outfit, but she wasn't sure what the other girls were wearing and she didn't want to be over or underdressed so she picked out five possibilities. She walked back over to her bag on the bed and began to fold the clothes, putting them carefully in the bag and hoping that the hotel room would have an iron in case they got wrinkled.

"We're only going for one night, babe," Puck said as he sat down on the bed next to her bag and began to help her fold some of the clothes. "You don't need this many shirts. Although ..." he said, his voice dropping off as he picked up a black one shoulder dress, "I vote for this one." Spencer bit her lip and shook her head as she grabbed the dress from him and began to fold it so that she could put it in the bag. It was a sixties inspired dress that had blue trim on the top and purple around the bottom of the dress. There was a pink sideways Y shaped strip running through the middle of the dress on both sides. And in the triangular intersection just above her right hip was green, sheer mesh, that added just a bit of sexiness to the dress while still being innocent.

She glanced down at her arms, her eyes ghosting over the fading bruises from the chemo treatment. They had faded from angry blue and purple to a yellowish-green tint. "I probably won't wear it," she said softly, her right hand brushing over the bruises on her left arm before she reached out and grabbed a long-sleeved black sequined dress. "But maybe one of the other girls will want to borrow it or something."

Puck shook his head and held his arms open for her, silently acknowledging how much it sucked that she had to plan her outfits around the bruises from her treatments. She looked like she was going to shake her head for a moment before she smiled and stepped into his arms. She sighed once Puck's arms had closed around her and wrapped her own arms under his arms, letting them rest on his back. He buried his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling the smell of her shampoo before pressing a kiss into her skin. He had to admit that he wasn't going to get used to being allowed to kiss her, he liked the feeling. He couldn't help but kiss her again. "They don't look that bad," he said softly, squeezing his arms a bit tighter to emphasize his point. "I mean, if anyone asks you could always say that your boyfriend hits you when he's angry."

Spencer chuckled and shook her head as she pulled her head off his shoulder. "They might believe it until they realized that I'm with you," she said softly as she leaned in to kiss him on the lips one more time before turning back to her bag. "It's almost full and I haven't even started on the shoes," she lamented with a pout as she returned to her closet and selected six pairs of her shoes. "You can never have too many shoes," she said with a smile when she caught Puck's raised eyebrows. Puck chuckled and shook his head as he leaned back on his elbows and watched as she tried to stuff the shoes into the bag without wrinkling any of her clothes. She dropped down on her hands and knees, rummaging under her bed for her toiletry bag that she would put her make-up, tooth paste, and everything else she'd need in. "You should probably go," she said, with a pointed look at Puck. "Mike's picking you up at your house in like an hour right?"

"I keep hoping that you'll change your mind and let me ride with you and the girls. Or better yet, decide to drive up just the two of us," Puck said, sending her a smile that he hoped was charming enough to convince her to change her mind.

"Cute," Spencer said with a nod as she walked over to her vanity table and began to pick out which make-up and brushes she wanted to bring with her. "But ultimately useless. Go home. I'll see you in about three hours." Puck smiled at her as he stood from her bed and walked over to her. He kissed her on the forehead and reminded her not only to text her mom every once in a while but to text him if she needed anything. She nodded and said that she would. He lowered his head more so that he could kiss her lips. Spencer smiled into his lips, but wriggled out of his grasp when he tried to deepen it. "Go," she said with a giggle before turning her back and looking back at the make-up.

Puck walked over to her bedroom door and turned, leaning against the doorframe for a moment so that he could watch Spencer. She thought he had left so she walked over to her cd player and pressed play. Mambo number five began to play as she danced her way back to the vanity table. He bit his lip to keep from chuckling as he watched jump around a bit, raising her hands above her head and shimmying a bit. He would have stayed a bit longer, but he figured he should leave before she caught him spying on her. He turned around and quickly walked down the stairs. He headed toward the kitchen instead of the front door when he was on the first floor though. "Mrs. Anderson?" he asked, sticking his head through the doorway. "I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving," he said once she had looked up from her cup of tea.

Stacey smiled at him and nodded before she stood up. "You'll take care of her, Noah?" she asked, taking a step closer to him. Puck nodded, he would. Stacey's smile grew a bit larger, "I want her to have fun," she said softly, "but I worry when she's not near me. What if something were to happen to her?"

"I'll be there," Puck said with a nod. "I have Dr. Henderson's number on speed dial, she'll be okay." Stacey's eyes widened when she heard that Puck had Henderson's phone number. But then she nodded, looking more relieved than she had looked in a while. She reached out a gently patted his cheek before telling him that he was a good man and turning back to the kitchen table.

Puck smiled at the woman for a moment before shaking his head and turning to leave the house. When he was in high school he would have been appalled to hear anyone call him a good man, but he liked to think that he had matured since then. Part of that may have been Spencer, caring about her kind of forced people to mature, but he didn't mind. And frankly he didn't mind Stacey Anderson trusting him to take care of her daughter. It felt good, which surprised him most of all.

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer had finished packing about half an hour before the girls were coming to pick her up so she had laid down on her bed to take a nap. It seemed as though she had barely closed her eyes when she woke up because she felt someone staring at her. She opened her eyes and quickly sat up in bed, smiling when she realized that Zach was standing in her room, holding Mason, and that both were staring at her. "Hey pretty boy," she cooed as she sat out and reached her arms out for her nephew. "What are you doing here?"

"Your friends are waiting for you downstairs," Zach said with a smile as he let Spencer lift Mason out of his arms and cuddle him to her chest. Zach's smile faded a bit as he watched Spencer press a kiss into Mason's hair. Like his mother, he tried to stay positive when it came to Spencer's condition, but when he was faced with the image of her holding a child there was a small part of him that wondered if she would ever get the chance to have one of her own. If she would live long enough or be healthy enough to get pregnant. She glanced up at him, the sad look in her blue eyes letting him know that she had the same thoughts.

"Let's get you back to Daddy," she said softly as she handed Mason back to her brother. "She leaned in and kissed the small boy's cheeks. They were still chubby with his baby fat, she giggled. "We're going to hang out when I get back tomorrow," she said with a soft smile. "Just you and me. Maybe we'll let Dad join too. I don't see you guys nearly enough."

"We've decided to extend our stay," Zach said softly, "at least Mason and I. Erin's taking the baby back home, but I'll be here for another week and a half." Spencer wanted to ask why, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer so instead she decided to ask him how. "I don't have to go back to work until the kids do," Zach said with a shrug. "And you're right, we don't see each other nearly enough." Spencer nodded, her brother was a professor at a college while working on his doctorate, of course his winter vacation was as long as the students'. Zach smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Have fun tonight," he said softly before leaving the room.

Spencer quickly grabbed her two bags, her purse, and her coat before running down the stairs. "Hey Miss Lady," Quinn said with a soft giggle as Spencer slid to a stop in front of the group. "Are you ready to go?" Spencer nodded and called goodbye to her mother and Toby before following the group out to Mercedes' SUV. "How excited are you?" Quinn asked, throwing her arm around Spencer's shoulders as the two walked toward the car.

"You have no idea," Spencer giggled as she threw her bags in the open trunk. "I'm just so excited to get out of Lima. And to spend New Years Eve with friends for once instead of my family." Quinn smiled and gently reminded her that they invited her out with them every year, but that she was the one who always said no. "I know," Spencer agreed with a nod as she climbed into the back seat. "I just never knew what I was missing out on."

"We didn't either," Rachel called from the passenger seat. "You are so much fun!" Spencer smiled at her brunette friend and shook her head before leaning back in her seat and preparing for a long, but fun ride to Columbus.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Puck tried to have fun on the ride to Columbus, but for the most part he found himself glancing at the clock, counting down the minutes until he would get to see Spencer again. He tried to tell himself that it was simply because he had promised her mother that he would take care of her, but if he were being honest with himself he would have to admit that the real reason he was counting down the minutes was because he was whipped. That's right, he, Noah Puckerman, was whipped. And for a girl he hadn't even slept with yet. A girl that he probably wasn't going to get a chance to sleep with for a while. The other guys were having fun and Puck slowly began to enjoy himself. But he didn't truly relax until he got a text from Spencer telling him that the girls were on the road. She sent him quite a few texts throughout the ride, picture messages of her and the other girls, funny signs that they passed along the way, lyrics to the songs they were singing on the radio. As a whole the texts were pretty much useless, but it was nice to know that she was okay and having fun and best of all that she was thinking of him. He liked that.

Somehow the girls beat the boys to the hotel. And when the boys finally made it up to the room they were surprised to see that someone's parents had sprung for a four bedroom suite with a large living room and three separate bathrooms. "Can we skip the club and just party in here?" Mike asked as he threw his duffle bag on the floor and jumped onto the couch. "Seriously, this room is tight and it's a shame to only be using it for the night. Rachel shook her head as she walked out of one of the bedrooms and directed the boys to the outer wall of the room where a poster board was leaning against the windows. In true Rachel Berry fashion, she had made a bedroom chart and wanted to make sure that the guys knew where they would be sleeping so that they could put their bags in the rooms and the girls wouldn't have to spend the afternoon and evening tripping over their bags.

Puck walked over to the chart and laughed out loud when he saw a floor plan of the room drawn on the poster board. Rachel had even drawn the beds and the couches and each sleeping area was labeled with the names of the people sleeping on it. Boys were blue, girls were pink. Rachel and Finn were sharing one of the rooms with the double beds with Tina and Mike. Santana and Britney were sharing another double room with Kurt and Blaine. Quinn and Mercedes were sharing a queen sized bed in another room. Artie was on the couch because it was the perfect height for him to get back into his wheelchair if he needed to go to the bathroom. That left Spencer, Puck, and Sam sharing the king sized bed. Puck chuckled when he noticed that Rachel had written Spencer's name between his and Sam's indicating that she believed that Spencer would be the middle of the sandwich. "Looks like we're going to be roomies," he said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders.

Sam smiled as the two grabbed their bags and walked into the room that Rachel had deemed as theirs. Sam's smile grew wider when he noticed that Spencer was curled up in the middle of the bed napping. He glanced at Puck for a moment before he jumped on the bed and wrapped his arm around Spencer's small waist. Spencer opened her eyes sleepily and closed them again before rolling over and burying her face in Sam's chest. "I told you I was going to be okay."

"You did?" Sam asked with a chuckle, glancing down at the girl who was curled into his arms. Spencer's eyes popped open in surprise as she glanced at Sam. She quickly rolled out of his arms and turned to look at Puck, clearly she had thought that Sam was Puck. "Funny," Sam chuckled as he sat up, "I don't remember having that conversation. Why wouldn't you be okay?"

Spencer shrugged as Puck sat down on her other side, his arm subtly resting on her side, his skin brushing up against her skin from where her shirt had ridden up. "When did you get here?" she asked, changing the subject as she reached behind her to pull her shirt down. She sent Puck a smile over her shoulder when she heard Puck's soft moan at the lost of skin-on-skin contact. She nodded when Sam told her that they had just gotten there. "I don't know why I'm so tired," she said softly as she used her hand to cover up a yawn. Puck glanced at her, looking for any signs that something was wrong, but it looked like she was just tired. He leaned in and pressed a kiss onto her cheek before he told her that they would leave and let her get some sleep. She smiled and nodded while Sam looked at the two of them questioningly. Her smile widened as she leaned closer to the blonde and kissed his cheek as well. "Gotta rest now so that I'm awake for the night," she said with a giggle. "You owe me quite a few dances, Sammy."

Spencer napped for two hours before Santana and Britney ran into the room and jumped on the bed to wake her up and tell her that the pizza had been delivered. The group was going to eat dinner and then they were going to start getting ready. They planned to get to the club around eight because Santana wanted to get her _drink on_. Spencer nodded and quickly climbed out of the bed. She walked out into the living room and grabbed two pieces of cheese pizza before settling herself in Mercedes' lap. Mercedes laughed and wrapped her arms around Spencer's stomach. "Ready to meet a hot guy tonight, Mama?" she asked. "Quinn and I already have plans to line up the hottest single men to kiss at midnight."

"Sure," Spencer said with a nod as she bit into her pizza. Puck coughed from his spot on the couch. Spencer glanced up at him and sent him a wink before turning back to the girls as they began to talk about what they were going to wear. Spencer was one of the first to finish her pizza, once the nausea had worn off the steroids in her system made her really hungry and it seemed as though she couldn't stop eating. She threw out her paper plate before announcing that she was going to take a bath before heading into the room that Rachel and Tina were sleeping in, that room had been deemed as the room that the girls were going to get ready in.

Puck waited fifteen minutes until he slipped into the room they were staying in under the pretense of changing now so that he could make pre-game drinks for everyone else while they got ready. He found Spencer sitting on the bed with a towel wrapped around her as she used makeup to cover up the bruises on her arms. "Going with the one-shoulder dress?" he asked as he sat down next to her and held out his hand for the bottle of her cover-up so that he could help her disguise the bruises.

"Yeah," Spencer said with a smile as she handed the bottle over to him. "I've got to look hot tonight. I've got some sexy single men to kiss at midnight."

"No," Puck said, shaking his head. "You have me to kiss at midnight." Spencer raised her eyebrows and took a deep breath before asking the one question that Puck had been hoping she wouldn't ask. _What are we, Noah?_ He smiled, she had called him, Noah, she had to know how much of a sucker he was for girls who called him that. He sighed, "I don't know," he said honestly. "What do you want us to be?"

Spencer shook her head, "No," she said softly, reaching out for the cover-up and screwing the cap back on it. "No," she said again. "I asked you first. Besides, it's more up to you than it is to me." Puck raised his eyebrows, not quite sure how she figured that. She sighed. "I mean, being with you will be easy for me. But being with me won't be so easy for you. We'd be in for a rough couple months, at least. So it's up to you. I'm yours if you want me, but I don't want you date me because you feel like it's some kind of obligation or something like that."

Puck stared at her, surprised how much it bothered him that she wasn't trying to pressure him into dating her. That she was taking a step back, leaving it completely up to him. That, in fact, she was reminding him of how hard it was going to be, as if she was trying to make him decide not to date her. He shook his head, it was bull shit. And he wasn't going to let her change his mind. Relationships are always hard, theirs wouldn't be any different. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips before pulling away just enough so that he could talk. "I want you," he whispered before kissing her again.

This time it was Spencer who pulled away, "What?" she breathed as Puck reclaimed her lips again for a brief moment before pulling away once more.

"You're mine," he said softly.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: And there's the next chapter.<br>Happy with it? Unhappy with it? You should review!  
>Loved it? Hated it? You should review!<br>Basically ... send me reviews! Review Love is what keeps me alive!  
>As always, thanks to those who do review!<br>And thanks to **twilighter169** who recently added this story to their favorites list.  
>Hope to hear from you guys!<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a heads up ... this chapter is kind of short compared to others. But there are BIG things in the future. Just letting you know.

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><p>"Here's to 2011!" Rachel yelled as she held her shot glass up in the middle of the circle. Santana had decided that the group would start at a club in downtown Columbus called Club Ice. If it sucked they could easily find a cab and ride to a different club, but so far this club seemed pretty cool. The girls had used their boobs to get the attention of the male bartender and now everyone had a free shot of patron in their hand. The group raised their shot glasses to clink them with Rachel's with an answering cry of "2011!" and then they all threw the shots back. Spencer, who was standing between Quinn and Tina did a little dance as the liquor made its way down her throat. Rachel was about to suggest they take another shot when she squealed. Puck turned to look at the small brunette with his eyebrows raised, what was she so excited about? But now that he noticed, all the girls seemed excited, and Mike too - which was even weirder. "Footloose!" Rachel squealed before she grabbed Finn's hand and pulled him toward the dance floor.<p>

It seemed as though the club had decided to throw some oldies into the mix that night. Not that anyone seemed to mind. Spencer glanced at Mike with her eyebrows raised in a question. The Asian nodded and held out his hand to the small brunette. Spencer turned to look at Tina, "Is it okay if I steal your boyfriend for a dance?" she asked. Tina nodded as she turned toward the bar to get another shot, she wasn't drunk enough to dance yet, so if Mike wanted to dance with Spencer she had no problem with it. Spencer smiled before she winked at Puck and allowed Mike to pull her out onto the dance floor.

Puck chuckled as he watched Spencer, Mike, Rachel, and Finn. The dance floor had been a bit crowded with dancers, but when they realized that there were four people on the floor that actually knew how to dance (well not really in Finn's case, but his partner knew how to dance) the crowd had quickly shifted to the sides to make room for his four friends. He had always enjoyed watching Rachel dance, the girl always had so much zest and passion for what she was doing that it was hard not to watch her. And Finn was always good to watch if you wanted to laugh. But tonight his eyes would not leave Spencer. She looked great in that one-shoulder number she had decided to wear, her heels seemed too high to him but she seemed to know how to move in them, and with her hair in loose wild curls flying around her face she looked gorgeous. But what really caught his attention was the wide, happy smile on her face.

He moved closer to the dance floor and pulled out his phone. He took a picture of the smile on Spencer's face and sent the picture to her mother. He knew that though she was worried about Spencer after seeing how happy she was at this moment her mother wouldn't be able to regret letting her go out tonight. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and started to clap in time with the music as he watched Mike spin the brunette around the dance floor. They broke apart so that they could do some sort of line dancing type thing that Puck had never learned, but assumed that it was part of the movie because they were doing the same moves without looking at each other's feet. Spencer dropped down to the ground and allowed Mike to pull her off the ground. He began to spin her around again. Tina walked over to him and hip checked him. "Now come on," she said with a smile, "You can't let them show us up." Puck shook his head and led Tina out onto the floor as well.

The two weren't as good as Mike and Spencer, but they were definitely better than Finn. They danced for the rest of the song until Tina broke away from him to go cut in on Mike and Spencer. Mike kissed her before sending Spencer spinning straight into Puck's open arms. Spencer laughed before she leaned her head against Puck's chest and allowed him to wrap his arms around her. "How are you doing?" Puck asked, looking down at the brunette with concern shining in his eyes. Spencer nodded and lifted her head off his chest, telling him that she was fine, but that she could really use a drink. Puck nodded and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers as he led her toward the bar. "What do you want?" he asked over the pounding of some pop song that he didn't know, and really didn't care to know.

Spencer smiled at the bartender and asked for another two shots of patron. The guy poured the shots and told Spencer that they were on the house. Puck, who had been pulling his wallet out of his pocket when he heard this rolled his eyes. "What?" Spencer asked as she handed Puck his shot and clinked their glasses together before taking hers. Puck took his shot and pointed out that the bartender was giving her free shots because he was trying to get in her pants. Spencer smiled, "Too bad for him. As of a few hours ago I have a boyfriend." Puck smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek. They had decided that they weren't quite ready to tell the others yet so they were trying to keep things on the down low. After he pulled away he told her that she should let her boyfriend pay for a few of her drinks _it makes me feel manly_. She smiled and shook her head, "The drinks are so expensive," she said, reaching out to grab Puck's hand and pull him back toward the group. "Why have you pay for them when that guy's giving them to me for free? This way you can save your money and take me out on a date later on with it." Puck smiled, he liked her reasoning.

Spencer dropped his hand once they made it back to the group, but she stayed by his side for a bit. And then Sam pulled her out onto the dance floor for one of the dances that she said he owed her, then Santana, then Quinn and Rachel, Mike came back for a second dance, then Blaine, then she and Tina attempted to help Finn learn how to grind (while that situation led to some very hilarious pictures that Puck couldn't wait to see in the morning he was glad when the dance was done), then it was all the girls on the floor singing and dancing to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Puck had finally decided that it was time to ask her to dance with him when a stranger came up and asked her to dance with him. Spencer glanced at the man before turning her head slightly to look at Puck. He shrugged, he couldn't exactly tell her not to dance with the guy. But she had surprised him by shaking her head and telling him that she wanted to dance with her boyfriend.

_Boyfriend_ - it had surprised her how easily the word slipped off her tongue, but she had to admit that it felt good. She walked over to Puck and smiled up at him as "Sexy Can I" by Ray J started to play. Puck smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to dance with him. By the second verse she had turned around so that her back was resting against his chest. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her neck before lifting his lips to her ear. "I'm so glad that you said no to that guy," he whispered. "I would have killed that guy."

Spencer smiled up at him. "I know," she said sweetly before stepping away from him just as the song ended. Puck looked around the dance floor for the rest of the group but he couldn't find them. Spencer pointed toward a flight of stairs at the back of the room. "I saw them head up there," she said softly. Puck nodded and grabbed her hand before the two started to weave their way through the crowd toward the stairs. Once they got to the top of the stairs it was not hard to find the rest of their group. They were easily the loudest group and they had a table right up next to the balcony with a great view of the dance floor. Spencer dropped his hand and ran over to the group, dropping herself down into Artie's lap. "How did you get up here, wheelchair man?" she asked him.

"Finn carried me," Artie said with a shrug, "Sam got the wheelchair. We would have waited for you guys, but you looked a bit busy on the dance floor." Spencer bit her lip and tried to look as innocent as possible for a moment before she started to laugh.

"What can I say?" she asked, "There's something about that song that makes me want to move like a stripper." The group laughed as Santana stood up and said that she knew exactly how Spencer felt. "Cyclone" had just started and Santana demanded that all the ladies join her on the dance floor because that was her _stripper song_. The girls all stood up, those without secret boyfriends kissed their boys before they walked down the stairs back toward the dance floor.

The boys waited until they couldn't see the girls on the stairs anymore before quickly moving over to the balcony so that they could look down on the dance floor and watch the girls. Puck couldn't help the wolf whistle that escaped his lips as he watched Quinn and Spencer dancing together. The song ended, but instead of coming back up the stairs the girls stayed on the floor when Usher's "Yeah" began to play. "Spencer looks better," Sam said, out of no where a minute into the song. Puck turned to look at Sam with his eyebrows raised. Sam nodded back toward the dancing girls. "She looks like she's gained a bit of weight back. Doesn't look as breakable."

Puck nodded, the blonde had a point. He turned his head back toward the dance floor. He watched as Spencer laughed with the rest of the girls as the song came to an end. Not only did she look the tiniest bit healthier, but she looked a lot happier as well. He smiled as he pulled out his phone to send her mother yet another text telling her that her daughter was perfectly happy and okay.

-.-.-.-.-

"Alright!" the DJ yelled into his microphone about two minutes before midnight. "A little birdie told me that we have an entire group in the club tonight that used to be in their high school glee club. I don't usually do this, but hey, the chick was hot. So I would like to invite Rachel Berry and the rest of New Directions up here to sing "Auld Lang Syne" once the countdown ends. I'm only going to invite you once, so get your asses up here!"

The group turned to look Rachel with accusatory looks. She held her hands up in the air in surrender before telling them that she couldn't resist. This might be their last New Years and she just didn't want to miss the opportunity. Spencer shook her head at Rachel before lunging forward and grabbing the brunette's face between her hands, she tilted Rachel's head down and kissed her forehead. "Let's go!" she yelled as she grabbed Rachel's hand and Kurt's and began to lead the group onto the stage.

The DJ chuckled as he watched the group walk onto the stage. "Correction," he said into his microphone. "There's a lot of hot chicks in this group." The group laughed as they made room for everyone on the stage and received their microphones. Rachel had apparently told the DJ just how many they would need. Rachel looked around at the group and told them that they should sing it like they had done their senior year. "Help me with this countdown guys!" The DJ called, talking to both the group on stage and everyone in the crowd.

"10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Happy New Year!" everyone in the club yelled. The DJ was nice enough to let everyone on stage have their New Years kiss before he started the music. Rachel and Finn went at each other like they were trying to eat each other. Mike and Tina shared a sweet peck on the lips. Britney and Santana kissed to a lot of cheers from the single men in the crowd. Kurt and Blaine kissed while holding hands. Artie and Quinn shared a friendly kiss. Puck was going to kiss Spencer on the cheek, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. After a moment of hesitation Puck kissed her back, bending her so that he was dipping her down to the ground. Sam, who had turned to kiss Spencer because he thought she was single turned around just in time to see that. He clapped and cheered for a moment before he turned to glance at Mercedes with his hands outstretched at his side and his eyebrows raised. She smiled, "Come here," she said softly, reaching out to pull him closer so that she could kiss him as well.

And then the music started and the kissing stopped. Rachel turned her head from side to side to make sure that everyone was done kissing and had their minds on the song. She nodded before lifting the microphone in front of her mouth and beginning the song.

"[R:] _Should old acquaintance be forgot,  
><em>_And never brought to mind?  
><em>[R,Q:] _Should old acquaintance be forgot,  
><em>_And auld lang syne?_

[M:] _For auld lang syne, my dear,  
><em>_For auld lang syne,  
><em>[M,Sa,B:]_ We'll take a cup of kindness yet,  
><em>_For auld lang syne._

[F:] _And surely you will buy your cup,  
><em>_And surely I'll buy mine,  
><em>[F,S:] _And we'll take a cup of kindness yet,  
><em>_For auld lang syne._

[Bl:]_ We too have run about the slopes,  
><em>_And picked the daisies fine,  
><em>[Bl,K,P:] _We've wandered many weary foot,  
><em>_Since auld lang syne._

[All:] _For auld lang syne, my dear,  
><em>_For auld lang syne,  
><em>_We'll take a cup of kindness yet,  
><em>_For auld lang syne._"

During the instrumental Puck glanced to his right and watched as Finn and Rachel started kissing again. He turned his head and noticed that all the actual couples in the group were kissing again. He briefly considered kissing Spencer again, but he knew that she wouldn't let him. Besides, she wouldn't want to disappoint Rachel and her part was coming up. Tina pulled away from Mike and raised her microphone to her lips singing, "Ooohhh," while the music faded away right before Spencer's part.

"[Sp:]_ We too have paddled in the stream,  
><em>_From morning sun to night,  
><em>[Sp, A:] _But the seas between us broad have roared,  
><em>_From auld lang syne._

[All:] _For auld lang syne, my dear,  
><em>_For auld lang syne,  
><em>_We'll take a cup of kindness yet,  
><em>_For auld lang syne.  
><em>[T:]_ We'll take a cup of kindness yet,  
><em>[All:] _For auld lang syne._"

The club was quiet when the song was done. Spencer lowered her microphone and glanced at Puck, biting her lip in an old nervous habit. He moved closer to her and grabbed her hand just as the club burst out into the loudest applause he had ever heard. Granted most of them were drunk which could explain their extreme excitement over the song. Spencer giggled as she leaned into him and leaned her head on his shoulder. Rachel moved over and grabbed Spencer's other hand, leaning her head against Spencer's shoulder. Spencer smiled and squeezed both her hands as she jumped a bit in excitement. It had been a while since she had gotten that kind of rush, she had missed it. "Okay," the DJ roared over the still loud applause, "I wasn't lying when I said that I don't usually do this. But ya'll are welcome back next year. Same time, same place, same song!"

Spencer joined the rest of the group in a cheer and a group hug before they began to file off the stage. Sam was the first one down the stairs and he walked over to the edge, holding his arms out for Spencer. She smiled at him before she allowed him to lift her off the stage and wrap his arms around her from behind. Sam swayed the two of them back and forth for a moment before he kissed her cheek. "So what's going on with you and Puckerman?" he whispered in her ear once he had pulled away. Spencer turned her head to look at him. She didn't say anything, simply winked. Sam threw his head back and laughed at her. "Finally got your man?" he asked.

Spencer nodded as she watched Puck jump off the stage and start heading in their direction. "Yeah I did," she said with a smile as she tilted her head back to press a kiss onto the only part of Sam's face that she could reach, his chin. "Yes I did."

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><p>Author's Note: Happy New Years! Wonderful readers (just a couple of months late ...)<br>What did you guys think of this chapter? Let me know!  
>Review if you liked it.<br>Review if you hated it.  
>REVIEW!<br>I'd love to hear from you!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"Noah," Spencer said softly, reaching out to grab Puck's hand. "The light's green." Puck looked up and saw that she was right. He shook his head for a moment before hitting the gas pedal and accelerating through the intersection. Spencer smiled at him, "Something on your mind?" she asked. Puck nodded, focusing on the road though, the last thing he wanted to do was autopilot through a red light. Not only would that be extremely dangerous, but with Spencer in the car he didn't want to take any chances. "What are thinking about?" Spencer asked, laughing when she realized that she had just asked the one question she wasn't supposed to ask.<p>

Puck glanced at her for a moment and smiled. "New Years morning," Puck said, lacing his fingers through Spencer's and squeezing her hand. Spencer smiled at him and raised their linked hands so that she could press a kiss onto his hands. "You know," Puck said, turning back to the road, "My mom used to say that they way you spend New Years Day is the way you'll spend the rest of the year."

Spencer raised her eyebrows when she took in Puck's smile. "You want to spend the rest of the year in bed with me and Sam?"

Puck chuckled and shook his head. "Well maybe just you." Spencer smiled and leaned over so that she could press a kiss into his cheek. Puck turned his head just enough that she caught the corner of his mouth. It had been a week since the first time they kissed and two days since Puck had told her that he wanted to date her, but he still hadn't gotten sick of the fact that he could actually kiss her if he wanted to.

Sam was the only one in the group that knew they were dating. He had somehow figured it out and asked Spencer about it. The rest of the Glee kids just assumed that the kiss they had shared at midnight was simply a drunk, overzealous, friendly kiss at midnight. Puck wanted to tell them, but Spencer had said that she wanted to keep it quiet for a bit longer. She wouldn't lie, if they asked she would tell the truth like she had done with Sam, but if they wanted to assume that Puck and Spencer were just friends she wasn't going to stop them. When they had arrived at the hotel Sam had offered to sleep on the second couch in the living room but Spencer had asked him to stay with them. Puck had raised his eyebrows at that request, it wasn't as though he expected them to have sex, but since Sam knew that they were now a couple he had assumed that they would be able to spend the night cuddling or some shit like that.

But Spencer had explained that if Sam slept on the couch when Rachel had determined that there was enough space on the king sized bed for him, Puck, and Spencer people would start to ask questions. Questions that she was hoping she wouldn't have to answer for a while. So in the end Spencer ended up curled between Puck and Sam; and with Puck's arm wrapped around her waist and Sam holding one of her hands she fell asleep. Puck had spent twenty minutes thinking about the fact that Sam was holding her hand. He would have been worried about it, especially since she and Sam had apparently slept together in high school, but he knew that the reason they were holding hands was because they were really close to each other. Sam had probably been Spencer's best friend her senior year and Puck couldn't blame them for having a close relationship now. He had shifted closer to her, not to try to pull her hand out of Sam's, but to make sure that the blonde knew that Spencer was his. Sam had seen the movement and chuckled, shaking his head. "Hurt her and I'll kill you," he whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep. Puck chuckled even though he knew that Sam wasn't joking.

The next morning had been great. Puck woke up with Spencer curled into his side. Her head was on his chest and her hand had slipped under his shirt at some point during the night, it was now resting lightly on his abs. It had really been great until Puck lifted his head to press a good morning kiss onto Spencer's forehead and he realized that Sam was still in the bed. He had mimicked Spencer's movements durning the night and he was curled around Spencer's back, his face buried in her hair. Puck had let his head flop back down on his pillow, the morning would have been perfect if it weren't for the blonde.

Puck shook his head, bringing himself back to the present day. Everyone would be heading back to college soon and it would just be Spencer and him in town. They would have plenty of chances for other perfect mornings that didn't involve Sam soon enough. "So what's happening today?" he asked as he turned into the cancer center's parking lot. "It's too early for your next chemo appointment. Is something wrong?" Spencer shook her head, smiling at him and his worry. The moment he had realized that something might be wrong his voice had gotten tense and his grip on her hand had gotten hard. She liked knowing that he worried about her, but this time his worry was unneeded. "Then what's going on?" he asked as he got out of the car.

"I need to have an MRI scan," she said as she climbed out of the car and reached out for Puck's already outstretched hand so that they could walk into the facility holding hands. "After three or four chemo treatments they do an MRI to see how the tumor is responding to the drugs. They use it to determine how to keep fighting the cancer. If the tumor has shrunk rapidly they'll change my dosage and slow down the treatments. If the tumor is shrinking, but at a slower pace, we'll keep doing what we've been doing. If the cancer hasn't responded or," she swallowed a lump in her throat, "gotten worse they'll change the drugs to more aggressive ones, up the treatments, and start talking about surgery."

Puck nodded and kissed the top of her head. "It hasn't gotten worse," he said softly, dispelling their worst fears. "You look healthier than you have in a while, you have more energy, you actually eat. These are all good signs. These are all signs that the tumor is responding. You'll see." Spencer nodded and looked up at her mohawked boyfriend with a smile on her face, hoping that he was as right as he believed he was. She wasn't sure if she would be able to take any sort of bad news at this point in her life. But the nagging feeling in the back of her head told her not to get her hopes up. She hated that feeling. They walked through the doors and waited in the waiting room until the nurse called Spencer's name. They walked down the hallway toward the examination room. Spencer was instructed to go into the bathroom and change into a hospital gown while Puck was told to waited in the viewing room. "You mean I can't go in there with her?" Puck asked, the tense tone entering his voice again. He knew that Spencer had probably been through this before, but the equipment in the MRI room was big and scary looking and he didn't want Spencer to have to face it alone.

The nurse, a different one from Tracey, told him that everything was going to be okay, that this wasn't going to hurt her. But he didn't believe the woman, he wished Tracey had been on duty that day, he would have believed Tracey. As Spencer walked toward the machine on the other side of the glass Puck asked the nurse what the machine did and what was going to happen now. The nurse sighed. "She's going to lay down on the mattress and remain very still for a little less than an hour as the scanner looks for tumors," the nurse said, giving him the simple answer because she knew that the young man beside her didn't really care about the science, he just wanted to make sure that Spencer wasn't going to be hurt. "The mattress is going to move inside the tube so that we can scan her entire body, so you won't be able to see her, but she won't feel a thing and you will be able to talk to her. And by this time tomorrow we'll have a picture of her cancer."

Puck was about to ask how he was going to be able to talk to her when Spencer's voice sounded out of a speaker in the room, it seemed as though there was some kind of two way intercom so that they could communicate during the procedure. "The tumor's name is Teddy," she said with a laugh. "And here's hoping that he's lost some weight or is completely gone by tomorrow." The nurse smiled as Spencer crossed her fingers above her head before she sat down on the MRI machine. The nurse hit a button on the desk-like thing in front of her and told Spencer to lay down. Once Spencer had done that the nurse hit another button and the mattress began to move into the tube. Puck watched as Spencer shifted her shoulders a bit to make herself comfortable before the nurse told her to stop moving.

"Would you like some music?" the nurse asked over the intercom once Spencer was fully concealed inside the tube. Spencer told her yes and the nurse reached into a drawer and pulled out a cd labeled Spencer jams. "Just no dancing this time," she warned, "We don't want to have to call you in tomorrow to redo this MRI." Spencer's laughter was the only response the nurse got. The nurse put the cd and pressed play. Everything was quiet for a moment, it seemed that only Spencer could hear the music, but Puck couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips when a minute later he could hear Spencer singing softly over the intercom. The nurse nodded, "She's always been the optimistic one," she said as she leaned back in her chair, preparing for the hour long wait before Spencer could come out of the machine.

-.-.-.-.-

The call came twelve hours later while Spencer and Puck were eating McDonald's french fries and watching reruns of Friends on television. Stacey was the one who answered the phone but she quickly ran into the living room and handed the phone. "It's Doctor Henderson," she said, jumping up and down in excitement as her daughter took the phone. Puck sat up too and looked back and forth between Stacey and Spencer, it was clear from the matching looks on both their faces that they both hoped that Henderson was calling to tell them that the cancer was gone.

"Hello?" Spencer asked after she had taken the phone. Puck reached his arm out to rub her back reassuringly as she listened to what Henderson had to say. He watched her face, but she had composed her face into a stoic look, she wasn't giving anything away, this could be bad news or good news. After a minute or two she nodded. "Of course," she said softly, "Yeah, you too. Tomorrow? Nine?" she turned to look at her mother, silently asking the woman if she was free. Stacey nodded, clasping her hands together under her chin and giving another excited jump. Spencer nodded again, "We'll be there. Thank you." And then she hung up the phone. She handed it back to her mother and settled back into Puck's chest, snuggling into him even further when he wrapped his arms around her. Puck knew that she was crying before he heard the soft, strangled sob, he could feel her shaking in his arms as she tried to stop the tears.

"Spence?" he asked, bending his head so that he could kiss the top of her head. "Baby? Please tell me those are happy tears." Spencer didn't say anything, but she did shake her head. Puck cursed under his breath as Stacey dropped onto the couch and reached out to run her fingers through her daughter's hair. He took a deep breath, "What did Henderson have to say?" he asked.

Spencer swallowed and turned her head enough that she was able to make eye contact with Puck and then her mother. "She didn't say anything really," she said with a sigh as she reached up to wipe away some of her tears. "She told me not to worry, but that she needed to see me and my mom in the office tomorrow morning to discuss the results. That she wanted to do it in person."

"That's not bad," Puck said, shaking his head. "She told you not to worry, that's a good sign. Right? If something was wrong she would have just told you over the phone because it would be something you needed to worry about. Right?" Spencer and Stacey shook their heads at the same time. Both of them were wearing matching looks of sympathy for the man who didn't know what was going on at the moment. "No?" Puck asked, shaking his head as well, mimicking their movements.

"If the cancer was gone she would have told Spencer on the phone," Stacey said, grabbing her daughter's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "She would have scheduled a follow up appointment about a month from now to make sure that the cancer was really gone. The fact that she wants to tell Spencer in person means that it's bad news." Puck shook his head, as if his silent denial would be enough to change the circumstances. As if he could simply say_ No_ and Spencer's cancer would simply disappear.

Spencer sat up at of his arms and grabbed his hand, squeezing both his and her mom's hands tight for a moment before loosening her grip. "It'll be fine," she said softly, determined. "It's probably just that the tumor's responding too slowly and they will have to change the drugs. That's not a big deal." She turned to look at her mother, "We've been through this before, we'll handle it, just like we did last time." Stacey sniffed back some tears but she nodded, if her daughter could be brave then so could she. Spencer turned to look at Puck, "Do you have work tomorrow morning?" she asked him. Puck shook his head, he had to work in the afternoon, but he knew that even if he did have to work he would have called in sick or something if Spencer wanted him there. She nodded, "Stay here tonight?" she whispered. Puck glanced over to look at Stacey to see if she was okay with him staying over. In the ultimate gesture of trust Stacey nodded. So Puck brought his gaze back to Spencer and nodded. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him as tightly as her small frame would allow.

The two didn't stay downstairs for too much longer. After about half and hour Spencer went upstairs to take a bubble bath while Puck drove over to his house to tell his mother where he would be staying and to grab his toothbrush and a pair of clothes for the next day. His mother had raised her eyebrows in surprise when he told her that he was going to be staying over at Spencer's that night and that _yes,_ _her mother knows_. His mother asked if something was wrong with Spencer and while he couldn't lie to his mother he knew that Spencer would be pissed at him for telling his mother about it without her permission. So he shook his head and told his mother to pray for Spencer before she went to bed. Puck had never really been the praying type, but he said a little prayer as he got back in his truck and drove back to Spencer's. He prayed that the news was going to be no worse than that the doctors needed to up her dosage or change the drugs or something easy like that.

When he got into Spencer's bedroom she still wasn't out of the bathtub. He knocked gently on the door, softly asking if he could come into the bathroom. Spencer told him that he could and he walked in, his steps and his breath faltered once he looked up and saw her. The lights in the bathroom were turned off, but it was lit by about twenty candles, they smelled like vanilla. It was nice. She was sitting in the bathtub, using her hands to rearrange the bubbles to ensure that everything that needed to be covered was covered. There was a cd player in the corner of the room that was playing a Norah Jones cd. She looked up from the bubbles to smile at him. "Hey," she said softly, gesturing that he should walk closer to the tub. Puck swallowed an uncomfortable lump in his throat before he nodded and walked over to sit on the edge of the tub. Spencer's smile grew wider as she moved in the tub until she was leaning against the edge of it, her head resting on her crossed arms as she tilted it to look at Puck.

He groaned and let a hand drop to her head so that he could run his hands through her wet hair. "That's not fair," he muttered as he tried not to pay attention to the arch in her back, and the back dimples that he could just barely make out through the bubbles. Spencer composed her face into a truly innocent look as she smiled sweetly at him. "Are you trying to kill me?" Puck asked as his hand, as if on its own accord, slid off her head and onto her still soapy shoulders. "Or even worse ... murdered by one of your brothers?" Spencer smiled at him as she reached her hand behind her back and grabbed Puck's hand, placing it on the small of her back, just above the back dimples that Puck had noticed moments earlier. Puck groaned again, she really was trying to kill him, it was obvious.

"I just want to forget who I am for a moment," Spencer said softly, closing her eyes and signing in contentment as Puck began to move his hand, allowing his fingers to brush from her lower back to her shoulders and back down. "Is there really anything wrong with that?" Puck shook his head, no there was nothing wrong with that. But it wasn't going to go further than this, that much he knew.

He leaned closer to Spencer, chuckling as she tilted her head, expecting him to kiss her lips. He shook his head again and readjusted his head so that his kiss landed on her forehead. "That's fine," he whispered as he pulled both his lips and his hand away from her. "But our first time is not going to be because you found out you might get bad news tomorrow. And its definitely not going to be in the house with your mother, and brothers just down the hall." Spencer groaned and leaned back in the tub, letting the bubbles cover her up before muttering something about how it didn't matter - she wasn't a virgin and it wasn't like Puck had ever cared about making things special for any other girl he had ever been with. Puck nodded, "That's all true," he said softly, "I've never cared before, but that's because I never cared about the girls before." He got off the edge of the tub and retrieved Spencer's towel for her. "I care about you," he said as he turned to leave the bathroom. "And I care about us."

-.-.-.-.-

When they walked into the cancer center the next morning Puck wasn't the only one who noticed the looks on the nurses faces. The smiles were tight, they were tense, and they looked fake. He didn't really have any proof that something was wrong with Spencer until they ran into Tracey at the front desk. She looked up at Spencer and wasn't even able to fake the smile, tears began to fill her eyes as she got up and walked slowly around the desk to hug the girl next to him. That was a big change from her greeting the first time they had been here when she ran around the table laughing as she hugged Spencer. Puck glanced over Spencer's head and saw that Stacey had tears in her eyes as well. They both knew that something was wrong. Spencer wrapped her arms around Tracey's shoulders and rubbed her bag, she made soothing noises for a moment or two before kissing Tracey's forehead and telling her that it was okay.

Doctor Henderson came out of an examination room and asked them to follow her too her office. Puck made to go sit down in a chair in the waiting room, but Spencer shook her head and grabbed his hand. "Come with me?" she whispered, squeezing his hand. Puck glanced over her head to see what her mother thought of her request. Stacey nodded and reached out to grab Spencer's other hand. The three of them walked into Henderson's office like that. Once they were sitting down Spencer squeezed both her mother and Puck's hands before turning to look at Henderson. "What went wrong?" she asked in a flat, toneless voice as Tracey slipped into the room behind them and placed her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Spencer leaned her head to the left, resting it on Tracey's hand.

Henderson sighed and looked at Spencer with a look that clearly said she was sorry for the pain she was about to cause her. "Your tumor has metastasized," the doctor said in the calm, practiced tone that all doctors seemed to have. Puck nodded, not quite sure what the word _metastasized_ meant, but it was only one word, it couldn't be too bad. He turned his head to look at Spencer and Stacey and suddenly he realized that he was wrong. Dead wrong. Stacey had let go of her daughter's hand; she had crossed her arms over her stomach and was rocking back and forth in her seat as silent tears slid down her cheeks. Spencer's reaction was even scarier. She had lifted her head off of Tracey's hand and sat up straight in her chair. There were no tears in her eyes, no tremble in her lips or hands. She didn't look sad or scared. Stoic was the only word Puck would use to describe her face. It was as though she was made of stone.

"What does that mean?" he asked, turning to look at Tracey because he didn't think Spencer or Stacey were going to answer his question.

Spencer shook her head and turned to look at him. "It means that it spread," she said softly. "Created a second tumor that is no where near the first one. The chemo didn't do anything, the cancer's getting worse." Puck's eyes widened, why was she being so calm about all of this. He wanted to yell and scream and kick things and he wasn't the one with two tumors. But she continued to remain in her seat. "Where is it?" she asked the doctor. Henderson sighed again and used her doctor tone as she told Spencer that it was in her back. Spencer nodded, still no tears as she reached out and grabbed Puck's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It'll be okay," she said softly, trying to be reassuring.

Stacey was the one who finally took action. "So what are we going to do now?"

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>So a lot happened in this chapter, no?  
>Did you guys like it?<br>Review to let me know!  
>I live off of review love.<br>hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>It took two days before Puck's mother forced her son to come out of his bedroom. After Spencer and her mother dropped him off at his house Spencer had climbed out of the car and wrapped her arms around him. She had told him that she was glad he had come with her and that she didn't want him to worry about her, but that she was going to need some time to herself for a few days. That it had nothing to do with him, but that she just really wanted to be alone. Puck had nodded and told her that he understood (even though he didn't) and that she should call him if she needed something (even though she wouldn't). His mother had practically attacked him the moment he walked into the house, she wanted to know what was wrong with Spencer and she wanted to know that moment. But Puck had simply shook his head and brushed past his mom. He had shut himself up in his room and only come out of his room to go to the bathroom and eat.<p>

But after two days his mother had had enough. She forced her way into his room and sat down on his bed. Puck, who had been staring at the wall, but not really seeing it rolled over to look at his mom. She sighed and shook her head, "I don't know what's going on," she said softly. "I don't know how to help you. But I want to know how, I wish I knew how. Because I can't stand to see you like this." Puck shook his head as he sat up, he wanted to tell his mother that he was twenty-one years old, that he didn't need his mother's help with anything, but her next words stopped him. "I don't know what's wrong with Spencer," she said softly, "but you're my baby and I don't care how old you are, I'm supposed to be able to protect you."

And then, before Puck knew what he was doing he was telling his mother everything. He told her about how much weight Spencer had lost in the beginning and how she had practically dropped out of school. That had surprised his mother, but he explained that she was still going to graduate, but that she was no longer living in Providence. He told her about the day she had come to visit him and how she had puked in the garage. He told her about the movie night and how she had told him about the cancer. At this point his mother wrapped her arm around Puck's shoulder and used her hand to push Puck's head onto her shoulder so that she could rub his scalp. She was beginning to understand his behavior over the last two days. He told her about the chemo appointment he had gone to with her and how none of their other friends knew. And then he finally told her about the last appointment they had been to. "The cancer metastasized, Ma," he said, turning his head so that he could press his face into the crook of his mother's neck. "The chemo didn't work. They're changing the drugs and she's going to have to go through chemo treatments every week now. But what if that doesn't work? The doctor mentioned that if after four more chemo treatments they might want to talk about palliative care, Spencer didn't tell me what that meant, but I looked it up. Do you know what it means, mom?" Puck's mother nodded, she was a nurse, she knew what it meant. But Puck shook his head and told her anyway, "It means that they stop trying to fight the cancer and they just treat the symptoms so that she can die without being in too much pain. I called her after I found that out, but she won't pick up her phone. She wants to be alone, but all I want is for her to tell me that it's going to be okay."

Puck's mother sighed and pressed a kiss onto the top of her son's head. She wasn't going to mention it because she knew that it would embarrass him, but as she wrapped her second arm around the front of her son's body she could feel him shaking, the movement and the water landing on her shoulder told her that her son was crying. "I know that this is going to be tough," she said softly, "but right now Spencer doesn't need you asking her if things are going to be okay. She needs you to tell her that everything is okay. She's trying to be strong right now, for you and for her parents and her siblings, but that doesn't mean that she is strong, she needs you to reassure her." Puck sighed, his mother was right. She tilted her head and kissed the top of his head, "You love her?" she asked.

Puck lifted his head off his mother's shoulder and stared at her. He was about to say no, but it didn't feel like that was the right answer. Of course he loved Spencer as a friend. He loved her like he loved Quinn, Rachel, Santana ... all of the girls from Glee actually. But did he love her the way his mother meant? He shook his head and then he nodded, but then he shook his head. "I'm not in love with her," he said, shaking his head again. "But I really care about her. More than I've cared about anyone. And I think ... I ... I think I could love her, if I was given the chance." His mom nodded her head, she understood exactly what he meant. Puck turned to look at her. "But if you tell anyone I told you that I'll deny it. I've got a rep. And it doesn't include falling in love."

"Even with a girl like Spencer?" his mom asked as she stood up from the bed.

Puck nodded, "Well," he said after a moment, "maybe with a girl like Spencer."

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer finally called him the next day. He was taking his first shower in three days when she called so she had left him a voicemail, asking him to come over at noon. Puck got out of the shower at 11:30 and he had gotten dressed and jumped in his truck to drive over to Spencer's before the voicemail had even finished. She had sounded good on the voicemail, but Puck had a feeling that she wasn't as put together as she wanted to seem. He'd be there for her when she broke down. She answered the door in a pair of jeans, a fitted long-sleeved shirt, and her hair tucked under a blue and purple knit cap. "Hi," she said softly, her hands resting in her back pockets as she stared at her right foot.

"Come here," Puck said softly, not moving to walk into the house, but simply opening his arms up for her. She shook her head for a moment before she sighed and stepped into his arms. He folded himself around her and rubbed her back soothingly as she took a few deep, calming breaths.

"I'm okay," she said softly as she started to pull out of Puck's arms. "Really. How are you?" Puck let her go, but grabbed onto her hand as he raised his eyebrows at her. He thought it was ridiculous that she still cared about how he was doing, he wasn't the one with two tumors that didn't seem to care about chemo treatments. She smiled and shook her head, she knew he thought she was being stupid, but she knew how to deal with this ... he didn't. She worried. Puck smiled and kissed the top of her head before asking her what they were doing that afternoon. "Well," she said as she squeezed his hand and led him into the house, "first we're going to wait for everyone else to get here. And then I guess there will ... well there will be questions."

"You're going to tell them?" Puck asked, surprise and excitement coloring his tone. Spencer looked at him as if this as the first time she had seen him. She hadn't realized how much it bothered him not to tell the others about what was going on. How much work it had been for him. She nodded, laughing when Puck reached out and wrapped his arms around her, twirling her around in a circle before setting her back on the ground. She sighed before telling him not to be too excited, that it was going to be difficult. Puck nodded, "I'll be right here for you."

Spencer nodded as she started to pull him toward the basement, "I figure that we might ... might want to tell them about us too? Just get it all out in the open, you know?"

Puck's lips split into a grin, "That's probably the best idea you've had in a while," Puck said with a chuckle as they started down the stairs to the basement.

It took about an hour for the rest of the group to show up. But once they were all there the room was noisy and everyone seemed to be having a really good time. Puck glanced over to where Mercedes and Spencer were sitting on the couch talking about some boy that Mercedes wanted to date from school. She glanced up at him and caught his eye, he could tell by the look on her face that she didn't want to tell them anymore. He could almost imagine her telling him that everyone was having fun and that she hadn't wanted to ruin their fun. He shook his head before clearing his throat loudly, catching everyone's attention. "So," he said once everyone had turned to look at him. Spencer chuckled, she could tell that he hadn't really thought things through, now that he had everyone's attention he didn't really know where to go from there. He cleared his throat again, "Yeah," he said with a nod. "Spencer's got something she needs to talk to you guys about."

"Does this have to do with the real reason you're not going back to Providence this semester?" Rachel asked as Spencer stood up and walked over to the empty spot on the couch between Sam and Mike.

"Or about whatever diet plan you're on that really isn't good for you?" Kurt asked as Blaine sat down on the floor behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. Spencer gave a noncommittal shrug, smiling when Puck told everyone to _shut up and let the girl talk_.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Umm, I guess I should first ask you guys to let me get this out before you start asking me questions about it. It's going to be pretty hard." The group exchanged looks before they nodded and agreed to her request. She clasped her hand in front of her for a moment before she reached up and pulled her hat off of her head. Puck had expected to see her waist-length brown hair to fall out from under the hat, but he was as surprised as the rest of the group when the hair that fell out from under the hat was slightly shorter than shoulder length.

"You called us all over here to tell us that you got a haircut?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrows as Spencer reached up to smooth the hair. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it looks good, but it's not life changing or anything." Puck shook his head, Quinn didn't know what she was talking about, this was pretty life changing. He had hung out enough with Spencer that he understood her reasoning, he knew that she had cut her hair short so that it wouldn't be so hard to handle when it started to fall out. It bothered him that she was planning around things like the chemo killing her hair.

"It's not really the haircut," Spencer said softly, not daring to look at anyone else in the room. "I guess, I should start by telling you guys that I haven't really been honest with you, like ever." Puck watched as Mike reached out and grabbed Spencer's hand he leaned in and whispered that it was okay, nothing she had to tell them could be that bad. "You have no idea," Spencer said, shaking her head before taking a deep breath and getting ready to tell them. "The first time I found out I had cancer I was five years old," she said, making a point not to look at any of them in the eye. Over the next forty minutes or so Spencer told the group about her first relapse and why her family had moved to Lima and then she told them about her second one earlier that year and how that was the reason she was no longer going to live in Providence. Then she told them that the chemo wasn't working this time around, that the cancer had spread and how the doctors were going to try four more chemo treatments before they began to consider palliative care. Sam was the one who broke the group's silence, he asked Spencer what palliative care meant with wide, scared eyes. He had never really thought to learn cancer terminology, but the tense look on Spencer's face had said that it wasn't a good thing.

Spencer opened her mouth to answer Sam's question, but in the end it was Puck that answered. "It means that the chemo isn't working and that if surgery isn't an option they will stop fighting the cancer and just start treating the symptoms. Make her comfortable, manage the pain, support her."

"That sounds an awful lot like hospice care," Artie muttered from his wheelchair.

"It's because it is," Spencer said with a nod, her eyes darting toward Puck to see how he was dealing with this. "The final stages of cancer are really painful. It's not a nice way to die. Palliative care makes it a little better. It makes it easier for me and anyone that has to watch as I get smaller and more frail and stop eating." Finn shook his head, angrily telling Spencer that she shouldn't talk like that, that that wasn't going to happen to her. She reached out her hand for Finn's and gave it a gentle squeeze. "On the bright side with the new chemo drugs I've been prescribed medical marijuana to fight the nausea. So that's nice." Puck opened his mouth to say that that didn't help at all, but her eyes told him to let her have that small victory. He nodded, forcing a smile onto his face. "So I guess I'm done," she said softly. "Do you have any questions?"

"When did you find out about the relapse?" _During Thanksgiving break._

"Where is this new tumor?" _My spine._

"You have back cancer now?" _No, when a cancer metastasizes it doesn't change the type of cells. So it's cancerous lymph node cells that somehow traveled and attached to my spine._

"What are the chances of the chemo working this time around?" _Well, they're using the same drugs they used in high school, and they worked last time so they could work again._

"What does it feel like?" _Nothing, at the stage my cancer is now I don't really notice it. The original tumor is kind of close to my heart, it's pushing up against it and that makes my heart rate faster, but besides that, there's nothing to notice._

"Can I catch it from you?" _No, Britney, you can't catch cancer._

"Are you okay?" _Better now that you guys know. I thought it would be best to keep it from everyone. Easier I guess, but I like this ... as long as you guys can promise not to treat me any differently._

"What kind of cancer do you have?" _Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma._

"What does that mean?" _There are two types of cells that make up your lymphocytes, the cells that fight diseases, T-cells and B-cells. My B-cells are growing larger than they should, growing at a faster rate than they should, not responding to body signals trying slow them down and shrink them, and not growing where they're supposed to be growing. That's the easiest way I can describe it, they're out of control and there's only a few options for stopping them._

"What's the survival rate for this kind of cancer?" _Fifty to eighty percent of patients with DLBC will be able to successfully beat it and remain cancer free for the rest of their lives. Considering that this is my second relapse, that it's stage III, and that it's spreading, I'm on the lower end of the spectrum. Henderson has given me a sixty percent chance of survival._

Puck's head snapped up at that statement, she must have gone back to Henderson without telling him because that was news to him.

"If the chemo doesn't work, how long would you have?" _A few months at the most._

That answer really stopped everyone in their tracks. Spencer had shrugged and taken a deep breath before she answered, Puck's first clue that she was trying to pretend it wasn't such a big deal. His second hint was that her blue eyes had darted to him, gauging how he would take the news before sharing it. He looked at her, expecting to see tears in her eyes or something like that, but she looked fine, composed, as if they were having a conversation about the weather or something as easily mundane. He shook his head, suddenly understanding why she hadn't let him come over until she was ready to tell the rest of the group. She didn't want to have this conversation with him alone. She didn't want to give him a chance to get too upset with her.

"Can I hug you?" Spencer laughed at Sam's unexpected question before she nodded, telling him that she wasn't breakable yet. Instead of giving her a sideways hug from his spot on the couch the blonde stood up and held his arms open for Spencer. She let out a small, subdued giggle as she shook her head and stood up. "I love you, Spence," he said softly, but loud enough for the rest of the group to hear him after she had stepped into his arms. "Always will. And I'll be here for you. No matter what."

Spencer nodded into Sam's chest and tried to slip out of his arms, but he tightened his grip on her. Not ready to let go of her yet. "We all do," Quinn said, standing up from her chair and walking over to hug Spencer from the back. She glanced around at the rest of the group and nodded, silently telling them to join her and Sam. "And we'll be here too," she said as the rest of the group joined them in a large, comforting group hug.

And it was then, with all of her friend's arms wrapped around her, all of them whispering comforting words about how they were going to get through this and everything was going to be okay that Spencer finally allowed herself to cry. But only for a moment. "I'm going to be fine," she said as she pulled away from the group and waved away their hands as they tried to bring her back into another hug. "Maybe this will be a good thing. As they say, every cloud has a silver lining." The group glanced at each other, not quite sure how they were supposed to respond to Spencer's optimism. But before they even had a chance to process Spencer opened her mouth again. "And on an even brighter note than the medical marijuana. Noah and I are dating."

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Well ... it's out in the open now. Everyone knows that Spencer has cancer and that she's dating Puck.<br>Things have to get better from here, right?  
>Maybe ... we'll see.<br>Anyway ... incase any of you were wondering DLBC is a legitimate kind of cancer. The way Spencer describes it in the chapter is the easiest way I could think to explain it. Like I've said before ... I'm no cancer expert, but I do know a bit about anatomy and what exactly tumors are. And yes ... that is how cancer tumors spread ... when you get a second tumor it's not a new type of cancer, it's the original cancer cells in a new place. They use blood vessels and stuff to travel until they find a nice spot to hang out.  
>And yes ... the marijuana that cancer patients get is to help fight the nausea and get them to eat after their chemo treatments. Sometimes it's used to help fight pain as well. Although thanks to research I have learned that medical marijuana is not allowed in Ohio at the moment (they're voting on it on July 6, 2012 from what I can tell) call it artistic liberty that it's in this story.<br>Anyway, I've babbled for too long. Thanks to those who added this story to their alerts lists.  
>Shout out to <em>Dalonega Noquisi<em> for yet another review (she's reviewed for every chapter since chapter two!) And I'm glad you like Puck in the last chapter!  
>And shout out to <em>ginnywitch<em> my newest reviewer. I hope I didn't leave you flailing for too long over the lack of new chapters. I'm glad you found the story and you like it (and the comment about the plot and the writing being topnotch ... you know how to flatter a writer don't you?)  
>See you guys back here soon.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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Apparently I made some people tear up during that last chapter (that makes me really happy to know I can do that) and I think that deserves an extra fast update. So **Katastrophe101** ... this quick update is for you.

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Just so you know: A new character will be making an appearance in the next chapter (they're on the show so don't worry ... you know them) if you want to guess who it is review with their name and if you get it right ... I will allow you to make a request for something you want me to put in the chapter pretty soon. And I'll do it. So if you're interested ... start guessing.

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><p>Admittedly, dropping the <em>dating Noah<em> bomb on the group right after she had told them that she had cancer hadn't been one of Spencer's best ideas. But the group had taken it surprisingly well. Sam had already known so he had simply chuckled and shook his head as the rest of the group had expressed their surprise. Santana was the first to congratulate them. She smiled and walked up to Spencer and grabbed her hand before she turned to look at Puck, "Congrats, Puckerman," she said, reaching out for his hand too and swinging their intertwined hands back and forth. "It seems that it only took practically a death sentence to get the girl to admit she's liked you since high school." Puck hadn't taken her statement very well, he had moved as though he was going to attack her until he heard Spencer's laughter. He turned to look at the small brunette with his eyebrows raised, what was so funny? But she simply shook her head and told him that the Latina was right, that she had liked him their senior year and that it had taken her finding out about the relapse to finally try to make things happen.

Puck had to admit that Spencer seemed to be doing better over the next few days. She had been honest when she told the group that she felt better now that she had told her friends. She smiled a lot more, she laughed a lot more, she just seemed happier. But there was something about it that worried Puck. If he was in her position he would want to yell, scream, cry, punch things. Hell, he wanted to do that now and he wasn't the one with the tumors. But no, not Spencer, she was fine. Puck would stop by her house and she would greet him by sliding down the banister and pressing a happy kiss onto his lips. She would sing along to the songs on the radio in his truck. She would skip when she walked. But what really worried Puck was the way Spencer talked. Whenever someone asked her how she was doing and if she was okay she would nod and spout off some tired cliche._ Laughter is the best medicine, After the rain comes a rainbow, if it doesn't kill me it makes me stronger._ No cliche was safe. And today, the first day of her second round of chemo treatments was no different.

Puck had taken the morning off from work so that he could take Spencer to her chemo appointment. She had happily bounded to the door from the kitchen when he rang the doorbell. He had stopped at the grocery store to get her some flowers and her face split into a happy grin when he held them out to her. She had thanked him before skipping back to the kitchen so that she could find a vase for the flowers. Puck had asked her how she was feeling as he followed her to the kitchen. She smiled, "It's hard," she said, her cheery tone conflicting with her statement. "But I have to remember, it's always darkest before the dawn." Puck nodded as if her statement made complete sense to him even though it didn't. "And," Spencer said as she filled the vase with water and arranged the flowers inside of it, "no matter what happens. Or how this turns out, this pain ... it will pass."

Puck stared at the woman in front of him. He was glad that she was happy, and hopeful, and optimistic. But the more time he spent with her the more he became convinced that it was a fake happiness, it wasn't real. And as much as he wanted her to be happy and to deal with what she was going through on her own terms, he was going to strangle her if he heard one more cliche come out of her pretty mouth. But instead of telling her that he simply nodded and asked her if she was ready to go to her treatment. She nodded, pulling a lily out of the vase and leading him out to the car. When he asked her why she had taken the lily she told him that it was for Tracey. She said something about how the nurse worked too hard and she worried no one showed her the

appreciation that she deserved, but Puck didn't really pay attention to her, he was simply happy that for once Spencer wasn't talking in cliches. Spencer spent the rest of the ride to the treatment center chattering happily and making plans for the weekend. She only stopped when she turned her head and noticed the tense set of Puck's jaw and the tight grip he had on the steering wheel. "Noah?" she asked, reaching out and gently grasping his arm. "Are you okay?"

Puck nodded. And then he shook his head. "No," he said, turning his head to look at Spencer before turning back to the road. He knew that it was cruel, but he wanted her to see how much this false happiness was hurting him. "I'm not. Your doctor has given you a few months to live if this chemo doesn't work. A few months, Spence. And you're acting like it's no big deal. Why?"

Spencer sighed and squeezed his arm in a comforting way. "If it's my time there's nothing that I, or Dr. Henderson can do to stop it. Why should I spend what could be my last few months worrying about dying? Not only does that not make any sense, but it's not how I want to live my life. And I think after all I've been through and all I'm going to be going through in the next couple months I deserve to decide how to live my life. Are you going to try to take that away from me?" Puck turned to look at Spencer and sighed, she had to know what a sucker he was for her blue eyes. He still wasn't happy with her, he didn't understand why she felt the need to pretend to be happy for everyone else. He shook his head, silently telling her that he wasn't going to take it away from her. She smiled and leaned over so that she could kiss his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered before she moved away from him and settled back in her seat.

-.-.-.-.-

"How are you holding up?" Puck turned to his left to see Tracey standing next to him.

"Is she okay?" he asked, moving to walk around the small nurse and head back toward Spencer's station. She had fallen asleep because of the Benedryl and as much as Puck had wanted to sit next to her and just hold her hand he hadn't been able to handle it. There was something that felt final about this chemo session. He knew that it wasn't her last treatment, but that didn't help. He knew that if her cancer didn't respond during the next three treatments the doctors were probably going to sign her off as a lost cause, they were going to start preparing her to die. And that was one thing he couldn't handle. Tracey caught his arm and kept him from running back to her station.

"She's fine," Tracey said with a small laugh. She reached up to pat his upper arm. "Don't worry. I came over here to see how you were doing." Puck shot her a sideways glance, wondering why the nurse would care about him. He wasn't the patient. He wasn't the one who had cancer and he wasn't the one who could be dying that very moment. She sighed, "I'm serious, Noah. How are you? What are you feeling?"

Puck sighed. "I'm fine," he said, repeating Spencer's standard answer for whenever people asked her how she was doing. Tracey scoffed, she crossed her arms over her chest, she didn't believe him. "I really am," Puck said with a nod. "I'm not the one who ... the one who," he paused for a moment. "The one who might die and instead of sharing her real feelings about it, instead of trusting me and letting me help her she's ... she's speaking in cliches and pretending to be happy to protect me maybe? But I don't need her protection, I'm here to protect her. That's what I want to do. She doesn't need to pretend for me. I just want to help her, but she won't let me. I don't know how to help her ... I could handle the crying, I would know what to do if she started crying, but I don't know what to do with this fake happiness. And I know it's not about me, but I feel useless. And I feel like a complete wuss for telling you all of this, or for even thinking it."

Tracey nodded. "I understand," she said softly as she walked to a seat in the waiting room and sat down. Puck nodded and followed her movement. "And you're not a wuss," Tracey said, shaking her head. "I know you want to help her. I promise you that Spencer knows that too. But this ... this fake happiness, this _talking in cliches_ is how Spencer deals with her pain. She did this the last time she relapsed. I can't tell you the number of times I heard _If you're going through hell, keep going_ or _what will be, will be._ Spencer takes care of other people, it's what she's always done and that's not going to change because of this cancer. She isn't going to just let people take care of her because they tell her she needs to. Why do you think she doesn't tell people about the cancer? She doesn't want people to worry about her." Puck sighed, this was all information that he knew, but that didn't mean that he liked it. "You know how dogs will often go off by themselves to die?" Tracey asked him, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. Puck nodded, knowing where Tracey was going with this and not liking it one bit. "Part of me thinks that Spencer would do the same thing if she could."

Puck shook his head, clenching his jaw at the thought. He didn't like thinking about Spencer dying. But more than that he didn't like thinking about her dying alone. If the chemo didn't work, if the doctors said that she was going to die Puck was going to be with her the entire time. He wasn't going to leave her. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward, turning his head toward Tracey, "What can I do to help her?" he asked, hoping the nurse would have a suggestion.

Tracey leaned back in her chair and stared at the younger man for a minute. He wasn't crying, there were no tears in his eyes, but something about his stance, his posture, his words betrayed him. He was breaking, but he was trying so hard to hold himself together for Spencer's sake. He was trying to be strong for a girl who was in turn trying to be strong for him. She nodded and reached out, slipping her hand into his. "Make her face what's going on," she said softly. "Don't be cruel about it, but try to talk to her and when she pushes you away ... push back. It's not that she doesn't believe that you can't handle what's going on it's that she doesn't want you to. She really is trying to protect you from the pain. Show her you're going to be there. Show her that you are strong enough to handle anything that happens. You do that and she'll let you in."

Puck nodded. He rotated his hand so that he was holding Tracey's hand. "Thank you," he said giving Tracey's hand a squeeze before letting go of it and standing up to go back to Spencer.

"Noah?" Tracey called out, stopping him before he got too far away from her. Puck turned his head to look at the nurse over his shoulder and nodded, silently letting her know that she had his attention. "You're good for her," Tracey said with a nod. "Don't forget that."

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer didn't say much on the ride home, the Benedryl was still having its affect on her. Puck had asked her if she wanted him to come into the house for a while, to watch a movie or something, but she simply shook her head and told him cheerfully that she was fine, but that she was just tired and she wanted to go to bed. Puck had asked her about her booster shot and he had felt bad about the fact that he had to work the next day. Even though the chemo treatments were closer together she still needed to take the shots. He had told her he was going to be there for her and now he wasn't going to be there when she needed him. He apologized to her, but she simply shook her head and waved his apology away, simply telling him that it was fine. She smiled at him and pressed a kiss into his cheek before she climbed out of his truck and headed toward her house. Puck sat in his truck and watched her as she walked into the house and he continued to sit in the driveway long after she had gone inside. He wanted to be there for her so bad.

There wasn't really anything going on at the garage the next day. There were a few cars that came in but there weren't any problems that were big enough to take his mind off of Spencer. One car needed its oil changed, another needed a new tire, the last one needed a new spark plug. He fixed the problems easily, one half of his brain on the car the other half on Spencer. What was she doing right now? Was she curled up on the floor of her bathroom in pain? Had her mother thought to bring her a heating pad? Puck shook his head, of course he mother was taking care of her ... Stacey had been taking care of her for years. She knew what Spencer needed.

All of his reassurances didn't stop him from grabbing his jacket and driving over to Spencer's house the second he got out of work that afternoon. He didn't even bother ringing the doorbell once he got there, he just walked into the house. He called a hello to Spencer's mother, wherever she was in the house, as he walked up the stairs toward Spencer's room. She surprised him. When he walked into the room he headed straight toward the bathroom, stopping only when he heard a giggle coming from Spencer's bed. He turned around to see Spencer and Stacey sitting on her bed playing, what looked like Uno. "Hey Noah," Spencer said with a smile as she placed one of the cards in her hand on the pile. Puck's eyes widened as he listened to her giggle as Stacey groaned and pulled two cards off of the draw pile. Who was this girl? This was a huge change from the girl he had seen the last time she had taken the booster shot.

Stacey looked up and smiled at him. "We'll finish this later," she said softly. She leaned forward kissed Spencer on the forehead. "I love you, Sweetie," she said softly. She stood up and walked toward Puck, reaching up to pat his cheek before she left the room.

Puck smiled after her for a moment before he turned toward Spencer. She smiled at him for a moment before she held her arms open for him. He smiled at her before he walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. But instead of letting her wrap her arms around him, to hold him. Puck wrapped his arms around her, he held her. "How are you feeling today?" he asked, kissing the top of her head as he rubbed her arm in a soothing motion. Spencer shrugged and settled deeper into his arms before telling him that she was okay, that Henderson had prescribed better pain medications this time and that the booster shot wasn't so bad this time. Puck shook his head, "No," he said, not accepting her response. "How are you really?"

Spencer shrugged, "I'm fine. You know after the rain comes a rainbow."

And then, it didn't matter how understanding he wanted to be for her. He couldn't take it anymore. "No," he said shaking his head as he stood up from the bed and stared at her. "No," he said again. "You don't get to say that again. You've already used that one! You don't get to use it again!" Spencer stared at him, unsure of what to do with his reaction. "Why don't you try something else. Let go and let God maybe?" Spencer shook his head. "No," Puck said again, shaking his head again. "Open up to me, Spence, tell me what's going on."

"Please don't do this," Spencer said softly, her voice sounding broken. "Noah, please. Just let me handle this the way I know how."

"But you're not handling it," Puck said forcefully. "You're lying to yourself and to me! I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. Despite how cliche it is, lean on me! That's what I'm here for. I'm here for you! I'm going to help you through this. I'm here."

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head. "I don't need you!"

"Yes you do!" Puck yelled as she stood up from her bed. Spencer shook her head and tried to walk past him but Puck caught her upper arms and held her in that spot. "You need me, damnit, you need me! You like to act like you're so strong and you like to pretend that you can take care of yourself. But you can't." He didn't mean to, but he shook her shoulders slightly.

Spencer shook her head again. "Please, Noah," she said softly, "You're scaring me."

"I'm scaring you?" Puck asked, letting go of her arms and turning around to face the wall. "That's rich," he added, scrubbing his hand over his face. "You're scaring me, Spencer," he said, turning around to look at her. "Less than a week ago you found out that you might be dying, you might be gone by this time next year. And I get that don't want to spend your last couple months worrying. But that doesn't mean that you have to spend them pretending that everything is fine when this is scaring the hell out of you! And don't try to deny it. I know you, Spence! You're scared. Tell me about it, that's what I'm here for!"

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head. "No. I can't tell you about it. I don't want to tell you about it." Puck shook his head, not understanding why she wouldn't want to talk about it. "Because if I tell you about it, talk to you about it, it will make things real," Spencer said, shaking her head again as tears began to fill her eyes and slide down her cheeks. "And I don't want it to be real. I can't handle it being real."

Puck watched as the girl in front of him, the girl who up until thirty seconds ago had been strong, solid, and together, broke apart. For the first time he could remember she didn't reach up to wipe the tears away, she didn't try to stop them. She let them fall and she crumpled. She folded in on herself and stumbled, as if she was going to fall down on the floor. As if the effort to simply stand up was too much for her. Puck moved forward quickly and wrapped his arms around her, catching her and turning her body so that she could cry into his chest. She shook her head, silently protesting his actions, but her hands clutched onto his shirt as if it was the only thing that could keep her together. He rubbed her back and kissed her head and made comforting noises until she had calmed down enough to be able to hear him. "You don't have to tell me about it tonight," he said softly, pressing another kiss onto the top of her head. "But we will talk about it soon." Spencer nodded and tilted her head so that the next kiss landed on her lips instead of her head.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>I'm not going to lie. I love this chapter.  
>I think there's something really beautiful about Spencer's breakdown. She's been strong for way too long and it's nice to see her begin to rely on Puck.<br>Anyway as previously stated at the beginning of the story ... there will be a new Glee character making an appearance in the next chapter (I think). Review to guess who it is ... if you get it right I might allow you to make a request for something you want to see in the story. And I might put it in here if it works. (And by might ... I mean I will.)  
>Thank you to those who reviewed and don't worry, <strong>Dalonega Noquisi <strong>you will get a happy ending. That I promise you. (Because I'm a sucker for happy endings.)  
>See you back here soon,<br>hugs and kisses.  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just a heads up ... some of you might not like this chapter, but I ask you to trust me and Spencer ... we know what we're doing.

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><p>Spencer didn't open up to Puck that night. Or the next day. Or the day after. Puck knew that part of the reason was because he had to go to work, but he also had a feeling that she was avoiding him. That even though she had said that she would open up and let him in she didn't really want to. She hung out with their friends during the day, but she would disappear or become busy when Puck got off of work. He didn't blame her, didn't get upset because he knew this was how she dealt with things. It wasn't that she didn't care about him or didn't trust him, but that she needed some time to process things on her own before she shared her feelings with him. So instead of driving to her house and forcing her to talk to him like he wanted to do he let her have her space. She would come to him eventually.<p>

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer was sitting in the Lima Bean three days after her first chemo appointment and drinking a coffee she wasn't quite supposed to have when she heard a voice she hadn't heard since high school come from behind her. "Well if it isn't one of the McKinley losers."

She shook her head, Kurt was right in high school, this kid did live in the coffee shop. "That would be a more potent insult if New Directions hadn't beaten the Warblers at regionals twice, Smythe," she said, rolling her eyes as she turned in her seat to look at the guy. "And I'm surprised you still hang out here. I would have thought that once Lima got a Starbucks the mainstreamness of it all would have pulled you in like a vacuum. Shouldn't you be getting ready to go back to school?"

Sebastian Smythe's eyebrows rose when he caught sight of Spencer's face. She groaned, she knew that thanks to the chemo and the booster shot she looked like death warmed over. And the last thing she wanted was for this man to make fun of her for it. Without asking or waiting for an invitation Sebastian sat down in the seat across from Spencer's. "I could ask you the same question," he said, no trace of the expected smirk on his lips as his eyes roved over her features, taking it all in. "And no, I graduated a semester early. Can't live in a dorm when you're no longer a student, decided to come home for the rest of the year. Why aren't you packing?" Spencer told him that it was complicated. He lifted his eyebrows again, "Is that code for I_ dropped out a semester before I got my degree because I'm an idiot_?"

Spencer shook her head, looking down at her hands that were wrapped around the coffee cup. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It's just ... complicated."

Sebastian nodded and leaned back in his seat, studying her for another moment. Spencer lifted her head, letting her blue-eyed gaze land on Sebastian's face, silently daring him to say whatever was on his mind. "You look like hell," Sebastian observed before lifting his coffee cup to his lips and taking a sip. "And that's saying something, because you weren't much of a looker in high school either."

"You look like a meerkat," Spencer said, countering him insult for insult, sip for sip. She found that instead of being upset or hurt by Sebastian's insult she was happy. Happy that at least one person wasn't walking on eggshells around her, treating her as if the smallest thing might break her.

Sebastian smirked and nodded. "You'll have to try again, Sweetheart, your walking gay stereotype called me that our entire senior year." Spencer could have sworn that by the end of the statement his smirk had become an actual smile, but she couldn't be sure, she wasn't sure if she had ever seen a real smile on Sebastian's face before. He studied her for another moment before he took another sip of his coffee. "You want to talk about it?" he asked, so nonchalantly that Spencer's head snapped up immediately to stare at him. No one had been that nonchalant with her in a long time, it surprised her. Honestly, she was sure that she had misheard him until he shrugged, "Don't look at me like I've grown an extra head or something. Even I am capable of pretending to care about someone for a few minutes."

Spencer shook her head. She wasn't going to tell him. He was a jerk. They weren't friends. He didn't deserve to know. "I have cancer," she said softly, quickly dropping her head down to look at the cup in her hand so that she wouldn't have to watch Sebastian's face as he processed the information she had just given him. He didn't say anything and after a minute she dared a glance at him to see that he was studying his coffee as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. She smiled, "It's the second time I've relapsed. And it's spreading, I have two tumors now. I have three more cancer treatments and if nothing has changed ... well the doctor gave me two months before it kills me. I told my friends that she said a _few_ but she didn't ... she said _no more than two_."

She didn't know why, but talking to Sebastian was nice, it was easy. Maybe part of it was that she didn't like him and he didn't like her ... it made it so much easier to talk about her dying when neither of them were going to get upset by the news. Maybe part of it was that he was practically a stranger ... he knew who she was, but he didn't care if she lived or died, it wasn't really going to make a difference in his life. And maybe it was because instead of shushing her and telling her to be positive like one of her friends would have done he simply nodded and let her talk. No matter the reason Spencer found that she was finally able to relax for the first time in a while, she didn't have to pretend anymore. With Sebastian she was able to be afraid, she knew that if they were still in high school he would have used her fear against her in a second, but maybe that was part of why she was comfortable with him now ... she knew what to expect from him. He glanced at her for a moment, "Why did you lie?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee and seeming uninterested. "If they're your friends shouldn't you be able to be honest with them?"

"And tell them what?" Spencer asked with a bitter laugh as she threw out her now empty coffee cup. She shook her head, "Tell them that if the chemo doesn't work I'll have at most two months to live? And that those two months will be the worst two months of my life? Tell them that within a matter of days my body will start to shut down? That I'll have trouble breathing, sometimes I might even stop breathing for a few moments? That I'll have trouble controlling my bladder? Tell them that my vision will start to get blurry? That I might start coughing up blood? Or should I tell them that I'll just stop eating or drinking and slowly dehydrate? And what about the hallucinations that I'll probably suffer at the end? That by the last day I won't even be able to talk? And then there's the truth about the drugs! We could talk about the morphine ... doctors say that the morphine is there to make me feel comfortable, to make sure I'm not feeling any pain, but the truth behind it is that it's really there to just help shut my body down faster. How can I tell them any of that? Death isn't pretty, especially not stage IV cancer ... I'm not going to let any of them near me during that time, I don't want them to see that. So I definitely can't tell them that. Noah wouldn't know what to do with himself."

Sebastian stared at her for a moment before he leaned across the table and placed his hand on top of hers for the briefest moment. Spencer could have sworn she felt him squeeze her hand, but before she could react he had pulled his hand away. "Puckerman?" he asked, in response to her last sentence. "The mohawked guy? What does he have to do with anything?" He must have been able to read it on her face because before Spencer could even say anything he had nodded. "You're dating him," he said softly. "Then don't you think that he of all people deserves to know what he's getting himself into?" Spencer shook her head and told him that the fact that they were dating was the exact reason why Puck shouldn't find out what was going to happen to her. Sebastian shrugged, "Can't tell you want to do. But I know that if there's a right thing to do in this situation it includes either telling him what he's in for or cutting him loose."

Spencer let her eyebrows rise, "Sebastian Smythe talking about the _right thing to do_. Is this listed in the Bible as a sign of the Apocalypse?"

Sebastian shook his head and stood from the table so that he could throw his coffee cup out. "Sarcastic never looks good on anyone," he said, turning to look at the brunette at the table. "Unless you're Sebastian Smythe." And then before Spencer could say anything else he had turned and left the coffee shop. Spencer stared after him and shook her head; if someone had told her a week ago that she would be sitting and having almost a casual conversation with Sebastian Smythe she would have asked them what drugs they were on. She shook her head again.

Definitely a sign of the Apocalypse.

-.-.-.-.-

And as much as she wanted to write off her conversation with Sebastian as some weird, random moment that never would have happened if she hadn't been so stressed, she couldn't. Something that Sebastian had said stuck with her for the rest of the afternoon. I_f there's a right thing to do in this situation it includes either telling him what he's in for or cutting him loose_. Damn Sebastian Smythe for telling her the truth. She did need to tell Puck what was going to happen to her and if she couldn't do that she needed to tell him that he couldn't stick around. She shook her head as she grabbed her car keys and headed out to her cars. She was going to slap the meerkat so hard that his overly-gelled hair moved. She climbed into her car and pulled out of the driveway. She knew that Puck was on his lunch break and it seemed like the best time to do this because he'd have to go back to work, he wouldn't be able to follow her home and force her to talk to him.

The look on his face when she walked into the garage almost stopped her. In high school she had gotten used to Puck's smirks and winks; they were nothing special, he gave them to everyone. Once they became friends she got used to his smiles; he smiled a lot more than she had thought and it was nice to know that the smiles were more often than not directed at her. But now that they were dating she had to get used to this new look. This happy grin that she was sure she was probably the only girl to see it. He put his sandwich down and wiped his hands on his pants before he walked over to her. "I didn't know you were coming over," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist, he bent his head so that he could reach her mouth and press a kiss onto her lips. Spencer moved to pull away, but the subtle tightening of his arms around her stopped her from moving. Puck pulled away from her a moment later and smiled down at her. "Hi," he said.

Spencer couldn't stop the smile the spread across her lips when she looked at him. "Hi back," she said, biting her lip for a moment before she grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward his lunch. If he was anything like Toby then he might want to eat while she talked to him. Toby had always used food to cover up his feelings. The last time she had relapsed he had gained weight as fast as she lost it out of worry. "We need to talk," she said softly, once they were both sitting down. Puck nodded and grabbed his sandwich, he offered her a bite but she shook her head so he bit into his sandwich instead and gestured that she should start. Spencer nodded, she took a deep breath and looked down at her hands that were clasped in her lap. "I don't think this is going to work," she said quickly, all in one breath. She flinched at the silence that answered her statement, she had thought that she would be able to get this out more eloquently, but that one blunt statement definitely wasn't eloquent or even particularly sensitive. She closed her eyes and took one more deep breath before she opened one of her eyes and glanced at Puck from under her lashes. The sight that greeted her practically broke her heart.

Puck had frozen with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. All of his muscles were tense, worried. His brow was furrowed and his brown eyes were squinting, glaring at the workbench in front of him. He was the same strong Noah Puckerman that she had always known, and yet something about him felt broken. She reached out to touch his arm, "Noah," she whispered softly, unsure of how to progress. He jerked away from her attempted touch and shook his head. As if he could force her to take back that one sentence simply by refusing to accept it. "You can't just say no, Noah," Spencer said, shaking her head as well. Puck shook his head again and whispered one word. Just one, pitiful, broken sounding word.

"Why?" he asked, his voice rough.

Spencer sighed again. She should have thought this through a little better. Of course he was going to want an explanation. And it wasn't as though she could give him an honest one, not without subjecting him to the horrors she was trying to shield him from in the first place. "It's just not a good time," she whispered, shaking her head and giving him an excuse. It was a believable one, but it was still simply an excuse. "If everything works out and I get better than I would spend every moment wondering if you had started dating me simply because you felt bad for me, because you felt guilty that you were healthy and I was not. And if things don't work out than I would be trapping you in for some really hard months, that would probably scar you for life and then I'd just ... leave," she shook her head, that sounded pathetic even to her. "That's not fair to you." Puck shook his head and opened his mouth to argue, to tell her that she was wrong, that they were dating because he wanted to date her, not because he felt guilty. But Spencer shook her head and continued with her excuse, knowing her next statement would be the next twist of the knife. "And let's not forget how you'd feel," she said softly. "What you would wonder."

"What are you talking about?" Puck asked, leaning forward in his seat, confused by what she had said. "Baby, what would I wonder?"

"If I had agreed to date you just because I didn't want to die alone," Spencer said with a shrug, refusing to meet Puck's gaze because she knew that he would be able to read the lie in her eyes. Puck shook his head again, but this time he didn't say anything. There was nothing to argue, the silent admission that he would wonder that made Spencer's throat tighten and her eyes fill up with tears. She shook her head again. "Face it, Noah," she said softly as she stood up from the stool she had been sitting on and prepared to head back to her car. "This is not the right time in my life for me to start a relationship with anyone. I refuse to suck you into my issues."

He called after her, but she refused to turn around. As she walked toward her car she listened for the sound of his following footsteps, but he had remained sitting on his stool. She climbed back into the driver's seat of the car and nodded at him, lifting one hand in a half wave before she pulled out of the parking lot and started for home. And it wasn't until she had reached the park in her neighborhood that she pulled her car over and finally allowed herself to cry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Puck wanted to drive over to Spencer's the moment he got off of work and to force her to take everything she had said back, to make her realize how utterly ridiculous she was if she thought that breaking up with him was going to make anything better or easier for either of them. But as if by fate Finn, Sam, Artie, Blaine, and Mike showed up at the garage a few minutes before closing. "Spencer texted us," Mike said with a shrug when he caught Puck's questioning gaze. "We figured you could use some company." Finn held his phone out to Puck so that he could read Spencer's text: _Noah and I broke up. I don't want to talk about it._

He chuckled and shook his head at the message before he turned to glare at Sam. "Your ex girlfriend's a bitch," he said as he threw his crescent wrench against the back wall and stalked over to his locker to grab his coat. He ignored Sam's statement that he and Spencer had technically never dated so,_ technically, she's your ex girlfriend. _Once he had his jacket in hand he slammed his locker closed and walked back toward the guys. "Where are your girlfriends?" he asked. "No, let me guess ... they're with her." Mike nodded. "And Kurt?" Puck asked, Blaine nodded. Puck shook his head, "Unbelievable. She breaks up with me and then all the girls _and_ Kurt rush to comfort her. She's already got the lesbians, you'd think she'd let me have both halves of the gay guys."

Blaine reached out and clasped his hand around Puck's shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze. "Was it really that bad?" he asked once he had pulled his hand away from his shoulder. "Did you yell at her?" Puck shook his head. "Did she yell at you?" Puck shook his head again. "So no yelling?" Blaine asked, just making sure that he had all the facts.

"There was no yelling, Anderson," Puck muttered as he gestured for all of the guys to leave the garage so that he could finish closing up. "It was perfectly friendly if you don't count the fact that she took the fact that I care more about her than any girl I know and spit on it before rubbing it in the dirt."

"Okay," Artie said slowly, drawing out the word. "Taking drama lessons from Rachel Berry?" Finn was the only guy who did not laugh, instead he told Artie to be quiet, but even he couldn't hide the smile on his face. It wasn't as mocking as the rest of the boys' though, because Rachel Berry's drama was one of the things Finn Hudson loved about her. Puck groaned, he knew that smile. And more than that he knew that he had been wearing one very similar to it that afternoon when Spencer walked into his garage and told him that they needed to break up.

He groaned, "I just want to get drunk," he muttered as he led the group toward their cars. "And I want to fuck some blonde girl that looks nothing like Spencer Anderson." The guys nodded and said that they could arrange that. But in the end they could only arrange the first part of Puck's statement. He got drunk, sure. And yes, they did throw plenty of blondes in his direction but he wasn't interested in any of them.

The first one had a tattoo ... Spencer had a tattoo. The second one had blue eyes ... Spencer had blue eyes. The third one had freckles ... Spencer had freckles. And this continued until Puck realized that he had turned down the eleventh girl because she had a nose ... and Spencer had a nose. He quickly called it a night after that realization and asked Blaine to drive him home.

And that was the first of many nights that Noah Puckerman spent alone, cursing Spencer Anderson's tattoo, eyes, freckles, smile, body, and yes ... her nose.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>TRUST ME! I know what I'm doing here.  
>I have a time line for this story and for this chapter it said <em>Convinces Puck to stop dating her<em>.  
>I can't argue with the timeline!<br>But don't worry, it will get better. I promise, because like I've said before ... I'm a sucker for happy endings.  
>So at the moment I think Spencer and Puck will still get their happy ending.<br>Anyway ... send me some **REVIEW LOVE**. I live off of the stuff, and the faster you review ... the faster I update.  
>See you back here soon,<br>hugs and kisses  
>Chloe Jane<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

* * *

><p>Spencer didn't have to wait long to slap the meerkat, in fact she ran into him in the Lima Bean the next day. This time she wasn't drinking coffee, but hot chocolate, and he was the one that got to the coffee shop first. "I hate you," she said as she threw herself down into the chair across the table from him and took a sip of her hot chocolate. He glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face. "I really do," she said with a nod, leaning back in the chair and taking another sip of the hot chocolate.<p>

"And you're sitting with me why?" Sebastian asked as he leaned forward in his seat and grabbed the coffee cup from Spencer's hand. "You're not supposed to have caffeine. Not when your chemo treatments are so close together."

Spencer raised her eyebrows and grabbed the cup back from him. "First of all: it's hot chocolate, not coffee. Second of all: that sounded an awful lot like worry. Did you get a heart over night Tin Man? And third: I'm sitting with you because there's no one else I know here and I really don't want to be alone right now." She took another sip of the hot chocolate, staring at him over the top of the cup and hoping that the smirk on his face didn't mean that he was about to make fun of her moment of weakness. She wouldn't put it past him, honestly.

Sebastian stared at the brunette across the table from him for a moment before he leaned back in his chair. He felt bad for her. He knew what it was like to lose a loved one to cancer, but he couldn't imagine what it was like to be the one dying from it. All of her friends were going to head back to school soon and she wasn't going to have anyone besides Puckerman, but he had a feeling that she had broken up with him ... if her greeting was any indication at least. She hadn't said it outright, that she needed a friend. And he wasn't going to tell her he would be her friend. But he could be. He watched her as she tried her hardest not to look at him, her blue eyes darted around the coffee shop, landing on anything that wasn't him. He smirked, "So when is your hair going to start falling out?" he asked.

Spencer's eyes landed on Sebastian, they were wide. She knew that Smythe was an asshole, but she had never imagined that he would joke about someone losing their hair. And then, before she even realized what was happening a giggle burst through her lips. It had been so long since someone had taken cancer lightly around her and a part of her had to admit that she liked the fact that Sebastian wasn't being careful with her. He wasn't treating her like she was going to fall apart because of this. He was treating her as if he knew she was strong enough to handle this and she liked it. "I don't know," she said shaking her head and taking a sip of her drink. "When are you going to stop being an asshole?"

"Probably when Hummel stops dressing like a girl," he said with an easy shrug as he dog-eared the page of the book he had been reading before Spencer sat down. It was clear that she wasn't planning on going anywhere soon and he found that he didn't really mind.

Spencer shook her head, "Oh stop," she said, "He's fabulous. And at least he's not too afraid to let the whole world know the real him. I have a feeling all this ... this hate," she said, waving her hands in his direction, "is coming from this dark place inside that wishes you had the balls to dress like Kurt does."

"No thanks," Sebastian said, shaking his head and sliding his hands into his pant pockets. "My junk likes to breath." Spencer stared at him for a moment before she started laughing and shook her head. She told him that he was disgusting and that she could not believe he had just said that to her. He smirked before he turned to conversation toward Spencer, he didn't mind the insults, but a part of him figured that there was a reason that she had sat across from him and it had nothing to do with Kurt or his clothing. "So why do you hate me?" he asked.

Spencer shrugged and leaned forward in her seat as if she didn't want so much space between them. "I broke up with Noah," she said with a sigh. She clasped her hands in her lap and picked at the nail polish on her right hand. "Last night. But I didn't really want to. And I think I hurt him."

"And what does that have to do with hating me?" Sebastian asked with a smirk. Spencer shook her head and glared at him over the top of her drink before she told him that he told her to break up with Noah. "I did not!" he said with a chuckle as he took a sip of his coffee.

"You told me to tell him what he was in for or to cut him loose. I couldn't do the first one so I had to do the second. It's your fault that I realized that I was going to have to break up with him. I hate you because it's your fault." Sebastian shook his head and told her that she was being absolutely ridiculous. Spencer was about to blame him for that too but someone called her name from behind her. She turned and smiled when she saw Will Schuester standing behind her with a coffee cup in his hand. "Mr. Schue," she said with a smile as she got out of her seat and walked over to her teacher so that she could hug him. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting some coffee before work," Will said with a smile. "What about you? You guys haven't left for school yet?"

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head. "We're doing our goodbye thing tonight. Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, and Mike head to New York tomorrow morning. Finn, Sam, and Artie are driving to Columbus tomorrow afternoon. Quinn's headed back the next morning. Santana and Britney fly out that afternoon. And Mercedes and Tina are driving to Chicago that night. And ... I'm not sure why I felt you needed to know when everyone was leaving," she said with a nod. "Sorry about that." Will smiled and shook his head, telling her it was okay before asking her when she was leaving to had back to Rhode Island. "Umm," Spencer said softly as she sat back down in her chair. "I'm not, I'm staying here for the semester."

"Why?" Will asked, confused as to why Spencer would remain in Lima even though she hadn't graduated yet.

Spencer sighed, she could have lied and just said that it was more cost effective, but everyone of the former Glee kids knew about it, and Sebastian. It was only a matter of time before it got out and the entire town knew. She opened her mouth but gasped when she felt a sharp pain in her shin, she cursed and looked under the table to see that Sebastian had kicked her under the table. She glared at him and he shrugged, his eyebrows raised, she shook her head with a small smile on her face. That was his way of comforting her, of acknowledging that this was a difficult conversation for her. In a weird way, she liked it. "Umm," she said with a sigh, realizing that she wasn't quite ready to talk about it yet. "I don't have anymore classes to take before graduation," she said with a nod. "I just need to work on my capstone and I can do that from here just as easily as in Providence."

Will nodded, buying the excuse. "Well good luck with the capstone," he said with a smile. "And hey, if you're ever bored one day I would love for you to stop by and help out with Glee cub. There's still some kids that remember you and I'm sure that they'd love to meet a member of the first team that took McKinley to nationals two years in a row."

"I was only there for one of those years," Spencer said with a pointed look at Sebastian when she heard him scoff. "And you," she said, turning fully to look at the man across the table from her. "You can't laugh, you never made it to nationals." Sebastian sighed, but nodded, conceding defeat, New Directions had beat them at regionals fair and square, despite his best attempts. Spencer smiled at him before she turned her head toward Will. "Did you ever meet Sebastian, Mr. Schue?" she asked gesturing toward the man in question.

Will raised his eyebrows at the name. He had never met the man Spencer was sitting with, but he had heard plenty about him. It surprised him that Spencer was sitting with him now. "Can't say that I have," he said, holding his hand out to Sebastian. "Nice to meet you." Sebastian nodded and returned the greeting, raising his eyebrows in Spencer's direction.

Spencer smiled at him, "Sebastian isn't going to school this semester either," she said, her smile turning into a smirk as she turned to look at him. "So I might drag him along with me one day, show him what a practice with a winning glee club looks like." Sebastian shook his head at her, but didn't say anything. Will smiled and told her that that was fine and then said goodbye before rushing off to school.

"We're not friends," Sebastian said as he stood up from the table, grabbing both of the empty coffee cups and throwing them in the trash can. "You're not going to drag me anywhere."

"I know we're not friends," Spencer said, shaking her head. "But that doesn't mean I should deny you the chance to stare at our trophy from nationals. You've never seen on of those have you?" Sebastian growled and told Spencer to leave him alone. She nodded and turned to leave the coffee shop. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but they knew that they would see each other the next day and despite what they said to each other ... they might just be starting to become friends.

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer wasn't one of the first to get to the bar for the group's goodbye extravaganza, but the good news was that she did get there before Puck. She wasn't sure why, but she was so nervous about seeing him. Scratch that, she knew why she was nervous. She had broken up with him like two days ago without giving him any warning or say in the matter. Of course she was nervous to see him. "Anderson!" Mike yelled when he saw her walk into the bar. She smiled and walked over to her tall friend, gracefully stepping into his outstretched arms so that he could hug her. "I'm going to miss you so much!" he said, squeezing her tight and swaying his body back and forth.

Spencer laughed and gently pushed herself out of his grasp before she was forced into anymore forced swaying. "Hey," she said, shaking her head as she nodded to the bartender and the shot he was holding out to her. "We're not saying our goodbyes yet, so keep that to yourself until the end of the night. You got it?" Mike nodded and they clinked their shot glasses together before taking the shots. "How is he?" Spencer asked, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

Mike looked at her with concerned brown eyes as he took both of their shot glasses and put them back on the bar. "He's been better," he said softly as he turned back to Spencer, his eyes scanning over her face, looking for something. "But then again," he added, reaching out and gently grabbing her shoulder, "so have you." Spencer shrugged, as if what she felt and what she looked like didn't matter. Mike sighed and shook his head, letting go of her shoulder, "He's going to be mad," he said with another sigh. "He just doesn't understand what went wrong so quickly." Spencer nodded, but no matter what Mike said it wasn't going to change her mind. Mike nodded and reached out to grab her hand so that he could pull her toward the rest of the group, "But we're not thinking about sad things tonight," he said with a chuckle. "Only happy things."

It took the group about five minutes to assess that Spencer wasn't lying when she told them that she was feeling alright before they started to relax. Twenty minutes later Spencer was talking to Rachel about maybe flying to New York to watch her next play when the door to the bar opened and she looked up to see Puck walking toward the group. The atmosphere changed the second people recognized that it was Puck. Spencer watched as people's eyes darted from her to Puck and back again. She took a deep breath before she finally lifted her eyes to look at Puck. She watched as his jaw clenched, he looked as though he was about to yell at her, and then he swallowed and relaxed his muscles. He smiled at her, it was a grim smile, didn't look completely natural, but it was a smile and that was better than nothing. She felt her shoulders relax and she smiled too. "Come on, guys," she breathed, turning to smile at the rest of the group. "You need to stop making things awkward." And then, just like that, the group relaxed. It wasn't quite like the last time they were all together, but it was better than Spencer imagined it was going to be. Puck took a seat as far away from her as possible and he didn't say a word to her the entire night, but he didn't glare at her or make her feel uncomfortable either. Considering what she had done to him that was better the she deserved and she knew it.

A minute or two later Santana sat down in the seat next to her and handed her a beer. "Well that could have been a lot worse," she said softly as she took a sip of her own beer. "How are you feeling, Mama?"

Spencer smiled and shrugged, "Not sure, to be honest." Santana raised her eyebrows, silently prompting Spencer to explain what she meant. "I think I would have felt better if he had yelled at me," Spencer said with another shrug. "I deserve to be yelled at. I'd be okay with that."

Rachel shook her head and patted Spencer's hand. "You don't deserve to be yelled at," she said softly. "You didn't do anything wrong, you realized that now was not the best time to start a relationship and you ended things before anyone got more involved. That was good, it was smart. And if he tried to yell at you about that I would slap him." Spencer laughed and mouthed _thank you_ to Rachel before shaking her head and telling the girls that they needed to stop talking about this, that they were supposed to be having fun. Rachel shrugged, "This is my last night in town, after all."

"And you're so going to be flying back to New York hungover as shit," Santana said as she got up to go to the bar and get another drink for the brunette drama queen.

Spencer was sitting in a chair at the group's table, cheering as Santana and Rachel sang a song together when Sam sat down in the seat next to her. "Battle stations," he said in an accent that wasn't quite his own. He turned his head to look at Spencer to see if she had gotten the reference.

Spencer smiled at him, her chin resting on her hand and shook her head. "Sean Connery, _The Hunt for Red October,_" she said, her smile becoming a chuckle. "You are such a dork." Sam shook his head and wrapped his arm around her before telling her that she should stop being hostile and just admit that she was going miss him. She nodded before she let her head fall onto his arm. "I am going to miss you," she said with another smile. "That's doesn't keep you from being a dork though."

Sam nodded and kissed the top of her head. "You know," he said softly, "I'm only two hours away. If you need me I'll be here as quickly as I can." Spencer nodded. She knew that she wasn't going to call him unless she had good news, because she had already decided that she wasn't going to let any of her friends see her if things got bad. And with good news there would be no reason for him to rush back to Lima. But she knew that he needed to believe that she would call him. He needed to believe that he would have a chance to say goodbye to her. "You have a phone," Sam said, nodding toward her phone that was sitting on the table in front of them. "I expect you to use it."

"I will," Spencer said with a nod and a smile. "I love you, Sammy." Sam smiled at her and kissed the top of her head again before he returned the sentiment.

-.-.-.-.-

Because it was their last night at the bar. And because he made more money when the old New Directions members sang the bar tender promised them the last song at the end of the night before he kicked everyone out at last call. There had been a major debate on what song to sing between the song that had won them regionals, to a song they had never sung before, to Rachel's suggestion of any song that allowed her a _significant solo and showcases my vocal range_. They finally settled on a song that they had never sung before but that everyone knew, even those who weren't part of the group on stage. They had finally settled on "Summer of '69." And after the song was done even Rachel would admit that it was a good choice because it had been a big hit with the audience, despite the fact that she did not have a solo.

"_Standin' on your mama's porch  
><em>_You told me it would last forever  
><em>_Oh and when you held my hand  
><em>_I knew that it was now or never  
><em>_Those were the best days of my life._"

The group finished with a cheer. The audience in the bar began to clap, but the applause was quickly replaced by boos when the bartender announced that it was time for everyone to leave. The New Directions group grabbed their bags and jackets and rushed out into the parking lot to say their goodbyes before heading home. Spencer smiled when she saw Toby's car waiting for her in the parking lot.

After that there were a lot of hugs and kisses as everyone said goodbye to each other. Spencer was pretty sure that in the chaos she had gotten two hugs from pretty much everyone, but that might not have been an accident, she realized when she saw the tears in Kurt's eyes as he wrapped his arms around her for the second time. "Goodbye pretty girl," he said with a smile as he pulled away from her and angrily swiped at the tears with his hand.

Spencer smiled at him and hugged him a third time. "It's going to be okay, Kurt," she said softly, giving him an extra tight squeeze before she pulled away from him. "You need to stop worrying. Things are going to be fine." Kurt nodded and pressed a kiss onto her forehead before Finn walked up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, her super tall friend picked her up and swung her around in the air before setting her back down on the ground and hugging her properly once more. Spencer smiled up at him, "Take care of yourself," she said softly, patting his elbow, the highest part of his body that she could reach without standing on her tip toes.

"I should be telling you the same thing," Finn pointed out with a smile before he hugged her one final time and walked over to Rachel so that he could drive her home.

Spencer stood in the parking lot and watched as her friends all got into their respective cars and to drive home. She smiled and waved as each car pulled out of the parking lot and honked a goodbye to her, some of them even had a very drunk friend hanging out of the window yelling that they loved her. She smiled and shook her head, finally reaching up to wipe the tears off her cheeks as Finn's car drove past her, with Rachel screaming that she and Spencer were _soul mates_ out the front window and Kurt yelling that she was _utter perfection_ from the back seat. When she turned to head toward Toby's car she was surprised to see that Puck was still standing behind her, watching her carefully. "Noah?" she asked softly as she stepped toward him.

Puck shook his head. He had held it all in while the group was there. And he wasn't going to yell at Spencer. But that didn't mean that he wanted to talk to her. Or listen to her justify her actions like the look on her face said she was about to do. "No," he said, taking a step away from her. "Just ... take care of yourself, okay?" She nodded, but didn't say anything. So Puck nodded and turned, walking toward his truck, refusing to turn back and look at her again.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Hello. I hope you liked this chapter!  
>Special thanks to those who reviewed on the last chapter. You guys are the reason you got an update this week.<br>See you back here soon!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

* * *

><p>Spencer did not know how it happened. She did not know why it happened. And she could not tell you when it happened. But one day, about a week and a half after she had last seen her friends she realized that she and Sebastian Smythe were actually friends. The thought occurred to her while she was sitting in the Lima Bean and she got a text from <em>Meerkat<em> that said he was running a bit late, but that he would get there soon, and could she get him his coffee (_you know my order_) and he'd get her's next time.

Spencer's eyebrows rose when she read the text. She and Sebastian never made plans to meet up. It just happened that they were both at the Lima Bean every morning at 9:27 on the dot. Except today, Sebastian was going to be late today. And how did he have her number. She had never given it to him and she had never put his contact information into his phone, he had never given it to her either. Although, she did have to admit that if she had she definitely would have put it into her phone as _Meerkat_. She smiled at that until she read the part about his coffee order. How the hell was she supposed to know his order? And even though she was not completely sure that she knew his order, she got in line and ordered him a large espresso macchiato with an extra pump of caramel. When the barista asked her what name she should put on the cup she smiled when she said, "Meerkat." The woman gave her a weird look, but did as she requested.

That was the first thing Sebastian noticed when he sat down in the chair next to hers five minutes later. Apparently they had advanced past sitting in chairs across from each other as well. He saw the name on the cup and chuckled before taking a sip of the espresso and smiling, "You got it right," he congratulated, clearly surprised that Spencer had actually known what drink he wanted.

Spencer shrugged, "You must be rubbing off on me," she said softly. She took a sip of her mint hot chocolate. "I've got a question for you," she said softly, smiling at the man beside her. "Since when did you have my number? Really liked that contact name by the way."

Sebastian smirked and nodded, "Thought you would," he said with a chuckle. "I put it in there two days ago in case we needed to talk to each other outside of our usual meet-ups. And don't worry, I put your name as _Voldemort_ cause you're going to be bald soon."

"Of course you did," Spencer said, shaking her head and allowing a small giggle to escape her lips. "That is really sweet of you. And so sensitive to my feelings. Thank you."

"You know me," Sebastian said with a shrug as he took another sip of his drink, "The S.S. in my names stands for sweet and sensitive."

"Funny," Spencer said as she shifted in her seat so that her feet were resting in Sebastian's lap. "I always thought that they stood for selfish and smart ass."

"Lose the claws, Kitten," Sebastian warned with a chuckle as he rested his hand on her lower leg and began to draw shapes on it.

Spencer smiled and readjusted herself in her seat so that he had access to more leg. She rested her head against the back of her chair and sighed. She didn't care about what people said about Sebastian. Sure, he had the ability to be a real bastard, but there were also times when she was convinced that he could be a really good friend. This was one of those times, he was the only person who was able to make jokes about her situation without it seeming as if he didn't care about what happened to her. There was a line where his jokes could get too mean, but he never crossed the line. He had matured since high school apparently. She opened one of her eyes and peeked at him, he was still drawing shapes on her legging covered leg with one hand while the other hand held the book he was reading. "Why are you so different from high school?" she asked him, closing her eye before he could catch her peaking at him. Sebastian made some noncommittal noise before he shrugged and lifted his hand off her leg long enough to turn the page before he put it back on her leg. Spencer peaked at him again, he was looking at the book, but his eyes weren't moving like they would be if he was honestly reading. "Have you ever loved anyone, Sebastian?"

"Sure," Sebastian said with a nod, "Me."

Spencer shook her head. "That's not what I mean and you know it. I'm not talking about yourself or people in your family or even friends. You do have friends, right? I mean, have you ever been in love with someone?"

Sebastian closed the book and turned his head to look at her for a second, as if trying to decide whether he should take her question seriously or make another joke out of it. He shook his head. "You're probably the closest thing I have to a friend," he admitted. "And Blaine back in high school."

"Blaine was the closest thing you had to a friend or you loved him?" Spencer asked, wiggling her foot in Sebastian's lap, letting him know that she wanted him to continue drawing the shapes on it. Sebastian shook his head and held up one finger, signaling that Blain had been the closet thing he had to a friend before he started to rub Spencer's leg again. "Probably should have rethought the slushie then," Spencer said with a shrug as she leaned her head back and studied the boy beside her. "I would have thought you loved him," she added. "Or at least that's what you wanted Kurt to think."

"There's a big difference between lust and love," Sebastian said, his gaze not meeting Spencer's. "And a lot of the things with Blaine had to do with getting a rise out of Hummel." Spencer nodded and made a comment about how Kurt was kind of cute when he got upset. Sebastian wasn't being as careful as he usually was because he nodded, "Noticed that too," he said softly.

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer went to her next chemotherapy appointment alone. Her mother had gotten so used to Puck being around that she had taken on a few extra hours at work and Spencer hadn't had the heart to take them away from her mother. Stacey loved her daughter, Spencer knew that, but she also knew that her mother gave up practically everything the moment she found out that her daughter was sick again. And Spencer hated that, she hated feeling as though her mother was putting her life on hold. And since Toby was at school she decided to walk to the cancer center. It was a nice day, and she had looked it up online, the treatment center was only about an hour walk from her house. She would leave early and walk and after the chemo she would call a cab and ride home.

She left about two hours before her appointment just in case she got lost. But she didn't, so she ended up at the center with an hour before her appointment. She sat in the waiting room for about five minutes listening to her Ipod before she decided that she was bored and that she might be getting in the way. Not wanting to be a nuisance she stood up from her chair, preparing to go hang out at the bookstore down the road when Dr. Henderson caught sight of her and called her over. "Spencer," she said with a warm, friendly smile as she reached out and touched Spencer's elbow in a gentle manner. "I was hoping to run into you before I left for the day."

Spencer smiled, "Caught me," she said softly before asking the doctor what she needed.

"I was wondering if you and your mother could come into the office tomorrow to talk about your MRI results," Henderson said, gesturing toward the reception desk where Spencer could make and appointment.

Spencer shook her head, "We can do it now," she said, brushing past Henderson and leading the way toward the office. She knew it was rude, but she had a feeling that Henderson had bad news and she was so sick of waiting for bad news. Henderson followed her into the office and closed the door, asking her if she was sure that she didn't want to wait until her mother could join them. Spencer shook her head again, "I'm not sixteen anymore, Dr. Henderson," she said, a soft smile gracing her lips. "My mom really doesn't have a say in my life anymore. I get to make the decisions. So just tell me what's going on and I can relay the information back to my mom."

Henderson nodded and turned around in her swivel chair so that she could hit the button and turn the light on the X-ray viewer. She then walked over to her filing cabinet and pulled out Spencer's folder. Spencer visibly flinched when she saw how full the folder was. Henderson pulled out two x-ray type images and carried them back to her desk. She clipped them to the viewer so that the light shined through them, making them more visible and sat down in her chair before turning to look at Spencer.

Spencer stared at the images in front of her with wide eyes. In the images the tumors didn't really look that scary. In fact, she probably wouldn't have even known what they were if she didn't know what to look for. The chest one looked like what one would expect an x-ray to look like, the only thing that looked out of place was the slightly opaque blob that was resting to the left of her sternum. She couldn't see her heart or lungs on the x-ray, just the blob. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at it. She remembered the first time she had seen an image like this ... she was five and had asked her mother if the white blob was a ghost At age five her biggest worry had been that a ghost was living in her stomach. But now it was something much scarier, the innocent looking white blob was a collection of cells that was growing out of control and fighting for prime chest real estate with her heart and lung. She lifted her hand to her chest to poke at the spot to the left of her sternum, poking at the tumor that she couldn't see.

The image of the tumor on her spine was even more concerning. There was the same type of opaque blob, but this one was larger, longer, and sitting comfortably at the base of her spine. Spencer stared at that one for a moment, wondering how she had never noticed that one. She would have imagined that it would have started to hurt her back after a while. She finally nodded and turned to look at her doctor. "Give me the news, Dr. Henderson," she said with a sigh.

Henderson gave a sigh of her own before she started to talk. "After studying your x-rays and MRIs I came to a rather upsetting conclusion," she said softly, pausing to see if Spencer would interrupt. Spencer simply shook her head, she wasn't her mother. Stacey Anderson used anger and questions to delay bad news, but Spencer didn't want to delay it, she simply wanted to hear it. Henderson nodded, accepting the differences between the mother and daughter. "Unless the next few chemo treatments shrink the tumors significantly surgery will not be a viable option for you." Spencer silently quirked an eyebrow, waiting to hear why surgery wouldn't be an option. Henderson gestured to the images behind her, "I'm not a surgeon," she said softly, "But I have consulted with a few and they have all said the same thing. That based on the size of the tumors and the proximity to major organs they would not attempt surgery."

Spencer nodded. "Why not?" she asked, finally asking a question. Henderson shook her head, but the look on the young woman's face quickly told the doctor that she wanted the truth. She nodded.

"Best case scenario," she said softly, "You're paralyzed from the waist down or you need a heart or lung transplant."

Spencer nodded, if those were the best case scenarios she knew what the worst case scenario was, but she needed to hear it from the doctor. "Worst case scenario ... I die on the table," she said in a flat tone, no question at the end of the statement. Henderson nodded and quickly reached into her drawer, looking for the business card of a therapist she knew. She handed it out to Spencer but Spencer shook her head, "I don't need a therapist," she said, shaking her head again. "The chemo's going to work and it's all going to be fine. And if it doesn't ... well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, all I need is to start my chemo. Thank you Dr. Henderson for your time, I'll be sure to tell my mother to call you if she has any questions."

-.-.-.-.-

It was raining when Spencer left her chemo appointment five hours later. Spencer liked chick flicks enough to note that the rain seemed fitting. This is how it would be in a movie. She thought about pulling her phone out of her pocket and calling a cab or Toby, Toby was out of school by now. But she kind of liked the chick flick justice of walking in the rain when all she wanted to do was breakdown and cry. And so she decided to walk. She got about halfway home before the nausea hit her. She clapped her hand over her mouth and looked around wildly for a trashcan. She sighed in relief when she spotted one about ten feet ahead of her and ran for it, stopping only once her hands were grasping the rim and her head was hovering over the opening.

She had the grace to hope that no one was paying attention to her as she emptied the contents of her practically empty stomach into the trashcan. She remained standing over the trashcan for a few more minutes once she had stopped vomiting, convinced that another wave of nausea was going to hit the moment she stepped away from it. She stood up straight and wiped her hand over her mouth, freezing when she heard someone behind her call her name. "Spencer?"

Her muscles tensed as she slowly turned to see whoever was behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief when she recognized Sebastian. He had been driving down the road and had pulled over to the side of the road when he saw her. Now he was standing outside her car, the door still open, an umbrella shielding him from the rain. He cursed under his breath as he walked over to her. "Hi Seb," she said softly, to tired to even finish his name. She felt bad, sticking him with that annoying nickname, but she didn't even have the energy to muster an apologetic look for him.

Another whispered curse as he let the umbrella fall to the ground so that he could wrap his arms around her and pull her to his chest. Spencer had been able to keep herself from breaking down until that very moment. She reached her arms around Sebastian's slender frame, allowing him to crush her face against her chest as she finally started to cry. Sebastian didn't say anything, didn't tell her she was being stupid, didn't tell her it was all going to be okay. He just stood there and held her until she stopped crying. Once she was no longer shaking in his arms he pulled away from her. "Come on," he said softly, bending down to grab his umbrella before wrapping his arm around her waist and gently leading her toward the passenger side of his car.

Once he had secured Spencer safely in the passenger seat Sebastian walked back around the front of the car so that he could climb back into the driver's seat. Spencer sniffed back some tears and curled up in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry you're all wet," she said softly, nodding her chin toward his dripping clothes. Sebastian shook his head and told her not to worry about it. And then he started the car and pulled back onto the road. Instead of asking her where her house was he continued to his original destination, his house. "Where are we?" Spencer asked as he let her into the house and began to guide her up the marble staircase to the second floor.

Sebastian told her that they were at his house, gently rubbing her back and hoping that she didn't get too cold from the rain. She was so small that he doubted she had enough body fat to maintain a healthy temperature. Once they reached his bedroom he led her over to his bed and sat her down, pressing her shoulders for a moment as if he could keep her there just by touching her. "Want to talk about it?" he asked as he dug through his drawers for some sweatpants and a shirt to give her.

Spencer shrugged from her spot on the bed. "I'm dying," she said, nodding her silent thanks to him as he handed her the dry clothes, but she didn't move to start changing. Sebastian sighed, it was as if she was in shock. He walked over to her and pulled her from the spot on his bed and told her that he was going to help her get dressed. Spencer nodded, not caring, he was into guys anyway. "These two last chemo treatments are kind of my last shot," she said softly as she lifted her arms above her head so that Sebastian could pull off her wet t-shirt and switch it for his dry one. "The tumors are too big and too close to important organs or nerves to operate," she said in the same flat tone as he pulled her wet leggings down her legs and helped her step into a pair of his sweatpants.

"I'm sorry, Voldemort," Sebastian said as he tied the waistband to keep the sweatpants on Spencer's small hips and not falling down to her knees. She shrugged and sat back down on his bed, staring blankly at the floor as Sebastian changed into some dry clothes of his own. Once he was done she apologized to him, telling him that she knew it was awkward that he had had to dress her. Sebastian shook his head, "What are friends for?" he asked her softly as he sat down on the bed next to her.

She reached out for his hand and squeezed it, "I still find it weird that we're friends," she said softly, shaking her head. It was silent for a few minutes before Spencer lifted her head, "Two questions," she said softly. Sebastian nodded, silently telling her that she should ask them. "Where are your parents?" she asked. Sebastian told her that his dad and stepmom were on a two week long vacation and wouldn't be home for another couple days. She nodded. "And how do you feel about weed?" she asked her second question even softer than the first.

"What?" Sebastian asked, surprised by the question. He didn't know Spencer all that well, but he had never considered her the type to do drugs. Spencer smiled and shook her head.

"I was prescribed it for the nausea from the chemo," she explained. "It also helps me eat something after the chemo because of the munchies. I'm supposed to get it in my system during or right after the chemo, but I can't smoke it at the center and I haven't quite perfected baking it into cookies yet. And I don't like smoking it by myself ... that makes me feel like such a teenager getting high in my bedroom and hiding it from my mom. But then again, my mom knows so it's not like I'm actually hiding it," she said rambling a bit at the end of her explanation.

Sebastian grinned at her, "Are you asking me to get high with you?" he asked her, quirking his eyebrows. "On your medical marijuana, no less?" Spencer nodded, a slight blush rising on her cheeks as if she needed to be embarrassed about this or something. Sebastian nodded, "Sure," he said, chuckling at the surprised look on Spencer's face. She hadn't expected him to agree.

"Thanks," she said softly as Sebastian stood up from his bed and held his hand out to her. He told her that he should be the one thanking her as he led her out of his room and toward the staircase that would bring them back downstairs toward the living room. Her giggle behind him was enough to let him know that Spencer was getting back to normal.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Hello dears!  
>I hope that you guys liked this chapter!<br>Umm, I'm going to be on vacation this weekend starting tomorrow at noon (celebrating my best friend's 21st birthday palooza) so unless there's like a LARGE amount of reviews that make me feel bad about leaving you guys after this update this will be the last one until Monday afternoon.)  
>But that shouldn't prevent your from sending me review love ... I love it!<br>Thanks to those of you that do review.  
>See you back here soon,<br>hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"Seb?" Spencer asked, an hour later as the two laid sprawled out on the living room floor. Sebastian had said that he had no problem being in his room, but Spencer was still shivering from her walk in the rain so he had brought her down to the living room so that he could build a fire in the fireplace. They had arranged a bunch of pillows on the floor and were now laying on them. They had been sitting cross-legged across from each other before they had crashed so they were laying next to each other, but their heads were facing different directions. Sebastian's hip was touching hers and her head was resting next to Sebastian's calf. One of Sebastian's hands had slipped inside the leg of her pants and he was drawing shapes on her leg again. Spencer liked that, it calmed her down. With the fire and the leg rubs this would have been very romantic if not for the fact that they played for the same team ... both liking guys and all. Spencer felt a giggle rising in her chest at the thought, but she bit her lip to keep it from escaping. Sebastian made a noncommittal noise, signaling that he was listening to her. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" she asked, closing her eyes as she waited for his answer.<p>

"A doctor," Sebastian said without any hesitation or thought. Spencer lifted her head off her pillow just enough that she could send a disbelieving look in the man's direction, his answer had definitely surprised her. She had been expecting singer or even lawyer like his dad, but not doctor. Sebastian chuckled, "Don't look so surprised," he said, not looking insulted, he must have received this reaction a lot. "I am capable of helping people you know. And caring about them ... you're proof of that."

"Don't you have to like go to medical school for that?" Spencer asked as her head dropped back down onto the pillow. Sebastian nodded and told her that that was generally how it worked. "Where did you go to college?" she asked him, surprised that she didn't know this about him already.

"Harvard," Sebastian said with a note of pride in his voice. Spencer nodded, she couldn't blame him for being proud. Not only had he gotten into the best pre-med school in the country, but he had graduated a semester early. She would be proud too, that wasn't something that was done easily. "I applied to Columbia for med. school," Sebastian admitted a minute later. "They unofficially accepted me, but suggested that I take some time off first so I start next spring semester."

"Woah," Spencer said a moment later, "You're like super smart then." Sebastian's chuckle was enough of an answer for her. She nodded. "What are you doing smoking pot? You shouldn't risk your brain cells that way!"

Sebastian chuckled, "Look at you. You're about to graduate from Brown and you're smoking pot. Ivy League did nothing for your common sense." Spencer giggled, surprised that Sebastian knew where she had gone to school. They had never talked about that before. "What do you want to do when you grow up?" Sebastian asked, turning his body onto his side and propping his head in his hand so that he could look at the brunette in front of him.

Spencer was too far gone to point out that she might not get the chance to grow up. She shrugged, "I always though it would be fun to become a housewife," she said with a smile. Sebastian shook his head and told her that she would never survive as a housewife, that wasn't exciting enough for her. She nodded. "I know," she said with a sigh, "But in all honesty, and to avoid sounding like a cliched girl, I want to be a mom. I want kids so much. And I always figured I would get a job with high school students. Be a newer, girl version of Mr. Schue."

Sebastian smiled at her. "I think you'd be a pretty great mom," he said softly, reaching out one of his hands so that he could hold Spencer's. The brunette laughed and shook her head, muttering something about high Sebastian being a nice guy, but she gave him her hand regardless. "And I'd get to be the cool uncle Seb," Sebastian said with a chuckle, shaking his head.

"Now I know you're high," Spencer said, shaking her head too. "Because Sebastian Smythe doesn't talk about babies or being the_ cool uncle._" She paused, as if thinking about what he had said, she smiled, "But I would totally make you come over every night and help me sing lullabies to the baby." Sebastian shook his head, muttering that they probably wouldn't be living anywhere near each other, but Spencer shook her head again. "No, you're going to be at Columbia for like three years and I've always wanted to live in New York City. We'd be in the same city."

"So I couldn't be the cool uncle but I could sing lullabies to the kid?" Sebastian asked, raising his eyebrows at the girl. She nodded and sat up so that she was closer to him. "And you're planning on having the kid in three years? Who's the dad going to be?"

"Sperm donor," Spencer said with a joking smile.

"No," Sebastian said, shaking his head. "I refuse to let my nephew be the product of sperm donation. I'd give you mine." Spencer stared at him with wide eyes, but then he cracked a smile, letting her know that he was still joking around, not taking this seriously and she smiled too. "We'd never have to tell the kid that I'm the dad. When he gets old enough to ask about his dad you could tell him that he was a science experiment or something. Test tube baby."

Spencer stared at him for a moment before she threw her head back and started laughing. "First of all that would be so incredibly damaging to a kid!"

Sebastian shrugged, "Better than saying _your daddy is Uncle Sebastian and the reason he doesn't live with us is because he likes penises._"

"And secondly," Spencer said, the only indication that she had heard Sebastian's statement was a dimple on the right side of her mouth. "How do you know our child would be a boy?"

"Because it is the male donation that chooses the sex of the baby," Sebastian said with a nod. "I know this because I'm going to medical school. And personally, I think I am far too masculine to have girly sperm." Spencer smiled at him and shook her head, she opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a groan as she threw herself backward so that she was laying on her back again, staring at the ceiling. Sebastian crawled forward so that he was hovering over her. "You okay?" he asked her. She nodded. "Hungry?" he asked. She nodded, he smiled - that was a good sign. "You going tonight?" he asked. She shook her head. "Staying here?" he asked. One final nod. He smiled and stood up, holding his hand out to her so that he could pull her off the ground. "Let's go get some snacks then," he said with a chuckle as he grabbed his car keys so that they could go get junk food.

-.-.-.-.-

"Spence," Sebastian sighed four hours later, "I have some bad news." Spencer looked up from the movie they had been watching, Star Trek - they both had a crush on Chris Pine and turned her head to look at Sebastian, wondering what his news could be. Was he going to leave town, now when they had become friends? That would hurt. His face was apologetic as he held up his hand so that it was within Spencer's sight. At first Spencer wasn't sure what she was looking at, maybe a mouse? But then she realized the clump of brown hair in Sebastian's hand was hers. He had been brushing her hair for the last hour and apparently her hair was starting to fall out. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, not wanting to make a big deal about it or anything. It was just hair after all. "I'm so sorry, Spencer," Sebastian said softly. Spencer nodded, thankful that this once the man hadn't called her _Voldemort_.

She sighed, knowing what she was going to do now. "Do you have an electric razor?" she asked him, standing up from her spot on the floor. Sebastian nodded, but then told her that she needed time to think about this. Spencer shook her head, "No," she said. "I'm not going to watch my hair fall out slowly. And I'm not going to deal with bald spots. It's all or nothing. Let's go."

Sebastian nodded and followed her upstairs. He led the way to his bathroom and pulled his electric razor out from it's drawer. He asked her if she was sure about this once more before he turned the razor on. Spencer told him she was, but that she wanted him to do it, razors scared her. Sebastian shook his head, this girl had cancer, might be dying from it, but that didn't seem to scare her as much as an electric razor. "Okay," he said slowly. Spencer closed her eyes and told him to do it quickly before she changed her mind. Sebastian nodded and lifted the razor, deciding that the easiest way to do this would be one strip down the middle of her head so that she had no chance to change her mind. He did it, and once he had finished the strip he pulled away from her and failed at stifling a laugh.

Spencer opened one of her eyes and squinted at her reflection in the mirror. "Well," she breathed a moment later, both eyes open as she smiled at Sebastian through the mirror. "I guess it's a good thing you want to be a doctor, because you definitely don't have the talent to be a gay hairdresser." Sebastian chuckled, more sure of himself now as he lifted the razor back to her head to finish the job.

Once he had finished shaving her head and cracked a few jokes about her being bald the two ate dinner; Spencer had saltine crackers because the nausea was starting to come back, but she didn't want to smoke anymore. And then they went up to Sebastian's room to get ready for bed and to watch another movie until they fell asleep. Before changing into the pajamas Sebastian had handed her Spencer went to the bathroom to take a shower. It was then that her phone rang. Sebastian glanced at the id, feeling nosey, but not planning on picking up the phone until he saw the name. _Noah_. "Puckerman," he said by way of greeting as he answered the call.

"_Who is this?_" asked the male voice on the other end of the line.

"One of Spencer's friends," Sebastian replied. "Not that it's any of your business. I heard the two of you broke up."

"_It is my business because she told her mother that I was going to bring her to her chemo appointment today, but I didn't. And she hasn't come home yet,_" Puck responded, ignoring Sebastian's comment about them breaking up. "_Why do you have her phone? Is she okay? Her mother's worried._"

"She's fine," Sebastian said, trying to be soothing. He had tried to mess with Puck, but he wasn't going to make him worry for no reason. "She just got some bad news today, needed a friend. Tell her mom that she's perfectly fine and that she'll be home tomorrow in time to take her booster shot. I'm taking care of her."

There was a pause on the other end, as if Puck was trying to figure out how he was supposed to respond to that. "_And who is this?_" he asked again. Sebastian didn't answer, he shook his head and hung up his phone. He knew that Puck would be irritated, but he would get the message along to Spencer's mother that she didn't need to worry about her daughter. He put Spencer's phone back on his desk right before she walked back into the room.

"Ready for the movie?" she asked as she finished drying her smooth head with the towel. Sebastian nodded and grabbed the movie case, slipping the dvd into the player and jumping on his bed to make himself comfortable. "I've got to say," Spencer said, shaking her head as she climbed onto the bed next to him. "Showering's a lot easier now that I don't have hair to deal with." Sebastian chuckled and rested his chin on her now bald head, telling her that he was glad she was looking on the bright side of things. They remained quiet for the first half of the movie. Spencer settled more and more into his side before she finally ended up with her head resting on his chest, her arm draped across his stomach. "Is this weird?" she asked him softly during a quiet scene in the movie.

"Hmm?" Sebastian asked, even though he had heard her question perfectly. Just needed some time to formulate a decent response.

She turned her head so that her chin was resting on his chest and her blue eyes were locked on his green ones. "Is this weird?" she asked again, using her hand to gesture between them. "This friendship ... we're cuddling Sebastian ... is it weird?"

Sebastian kept his eyes locked on hers so that she would know he was telling the truth as he shook his head. "I don't think so," he said softly. "I mean, we're both older. We've both progressed since high school. I'm done throwing slushies, you're not as much of an annoying goody-two shoes 're going through a hard time and I want to help." He shrugged, "I don't think it's weird."

Spencer smiled at him, "I still think it's weird," she said softly, but instead of moving away from him she turned her head so that her cheek was once again resting on his chest and snuggled even closer to him. Sebastian cracked a smile as he lifted his hand off the bed and began to slowly run his fingers up and down Spencer's spine, rubbing her back. "Thank you," Spencer said softly before closing her eyes and allowing herself to fall asleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Puck supposed that he should calm down now. Someone who claimed to be Spencer's friend said that she was okay and that he shouldn't worry about her. But that didn't stop him from worrying at all. It made him worry even more. Spencer didn't really know anyone else in town since the rest of the group had left for school. Where was she? And who was she staying with? He had done his best to make sure that Stacey stopped worrying. He had called to her and lied, telling her that he knew where Spencer was and that she was staying at a girlfriend's house. He told her that he would drive over to check on her. And Stacey finally calmed down. Puck did not.

The guy on the phone ... Spencer's _friend_ had said that she had gotten bad news that day and that she needed a friend so she had gone to him. This worried Puck for two reasons. First of all what bad news had Spencer gotten? Had she gotten worse? Why hadn't she told him? And second of all, he used to be the one who Spencer went to when she needed a friend. Who the hell was this guy and why had he replaced Puck?

Puck shook his head and cursed at himself for worrying so much. Spencer had made it clear that she was no longer his to worry about a week or so ago. Maybe she had never really been his to worry about even. It didn't matter what was going on in her life, what bad news she had gotten, he was no longer part of her life. That was easy to say, but it wasn't something he was willing to accept right away. He logged onto Facebook to see if there were any clues to where she was or what had happened to her on there, but he couldn't find her. Had she deleted her page? Puck was cursing again when he realized that he was twenty-two years old and he was actually relying on Facebook to tell him what one of his friends was up to. But he had no choice, he pulled out his phone and shot a quick text to Mike asking him if he knew if Spencer had deleted her Facebook. Mike's response was almost instant. _No, why?_

Puck shook his head at his phone and sent another text to Mike explaining that Spencer must have defriended him but that she had gotten some bad news that day and he was just wondering if there was any clue to it on her page. He knew it was a long shot, she didn't really want people to know about the cancer so why would she advertise it on Facebook, but he didn't know for sure. Mike didn't text back right away this time so Puck used the time he was waiting to go down to the kitchen and make some dinner. Puck had never been a great cook so he decided on mac and cheese. He had just started boiling the water when Sarah walked into the kitchen and told him that she would take over for him before he burned the house down. Puck nodded dejectedly and sat down at the table, checking his phone every couple seconds to make sure he didn't miss Mike's text. "Toby says thank you, by the way," Sarah said as the water started to boil. She poured the noodles into the pot and walked over to the table so that she could sit next to her brother. "For finding Spencer."

Puck nodded, not looking up to make eye contact. Sarah sighed before she asked him what was wrong. Puck shook his head, he didn't want to be that needy brother that complained to his younger sister about his love life ... or lack of a love life. But in the end he did become that boy. He told Sarah about how he kissed her before New Years, and how they decided to date on New Years Eve. She smiled at him when he told her that, but then he told her about how Spencer had freaked out and broken up with him a couple weeks ago. And then, with everything short of whining like a thirteen year old girl he told her the Spencer had blocked him on Facebook. "I get it," he said, glancing at his phone to see if Mike had texted him back yet. "She doesn't want me to worry or anything, but this makes me worry even more."

Sarah sighed as she walked back over to the stove and lifted the pot of noodles off of it so that she could drain them and mix the cheese sauce. "Did you ever think that it has nothing to do with you?" she asked softly turning her head to look at her brother with a pointed look. Puck raised his eyebrows, it suddenly occurring to him that Sarah might know more about Spencer's situation than he had thought. "Not really, at least," she said, shaking her head as she carried grabbed the milk and butter out of the refrigerator and walked back over to the noodles. "Maybe she blocked you on Facebook because she didn't want to see what was going on in your life. Maybe she's worried that you will move on and she doesn't want to see that happen."

"But she broke up with me," Puck deadpanned. "It's not like I broke her heart and then moved on to some skank the next day."

"Maybe she broke up with you before you had a chance to break her heart ... to leave her because she got so sick that you couldn't handle it. And you know that could happen," Sarah added, shooting a pointed look at her brother when she felt that he was going to argue with her. "She's just keeping herself from getting too attached before that happens." Puck shook his head and denied what his sister said, arguing that he would never do that to Spencer, that they were friends. "Then she'd be worried that you were trapped in a relationship that you didn't want just because you wanted to do the right thing," Sarah said, shaking her head. "You'd start to resent her for it. Either way she's protecting herself from getting hurt. And she blocked you online so that she wouldn't have to see when you moved on although she probably wants you to."

Puck shook his head to answer but was silenced by his phone beeping, signaling that he had a new message. He glanced at it, tensing when he realized it was from Mike. He pressed view, his eyes scanning over the message quickly. _Don't know man. Hasn't talked about anything being wrong. Her last post was something about captain kirk. The location was out of town ... near East Allentown._

Puck shook his head staring at the text and thinking about the big mansion sized houses that stood on the outskirts of town near East Allentown road. They didn't know anyone that lived out there besides Quinn. What was Spencer doing out there? And who was she with?

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>First of all I would like to apologize for taking so long to get this chapter to you guys.  
>This week has been CRAZY! But it's all better now and I'm back to updating.<br>I hope you guys liked this chapter, I had fun with it.  
>Anyway, please, please, PLEASE send me some REVIEW LOVE. I really like hearing from you guys ... makes me happy.<br>(And in case you were wondering ... East Allentown is actually a road in Lima, Ohio ... I researched ... or you know, used google maps.)  
>Anyway ... special notes to <strong>Dalonega<strong> **Noquisi**: I know there wasn't a lot of Puck in this chapter and there won't be in the next two or so. But don't worry, according to my timeline you are going to be happy ... and absolutely love Sebastian Smythe in about three chapters. So just trust me on this ... I have **BIG** things planned.  
>And <strong>Katastrophe101<strong>: Awww Boo, don't freak out! I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you liked this one too! And no crying or throwing fits, I promise everything will turn out fine! I kind of got too attached to Spencer to kill her off.  
>Don't forget to send me reviews!<br>And I will see you back here soon,  
>hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Spencer's mother had tried to ground her when she finally got home. But Spencer had simply raised her eyebrows and pointed out to her mother that she was twenty-one years old. Her mother couldn't ground her. Her mother had tried to argue with her, but had gotten sidetracked when Toby walked into the kitchen and noticed her bald head. And then suddenly Stacey Anderson was crying and telling her daughter that she looked gorgeous and that she was the strongest, bravest person she knew. Spencer had glanced at Toby and he winked before telling her that he was glad that she was home and that she better not pull a disappearing act ever again. Spencer had promised not to and for the last week she had kept her word. Whenever she left the house she left a note for her mom and brother telling them where she was going and when she would be back. And she'd text one of them if her plans changed. It was high school all over again. Except that thankfully her mother hadn't tried to institute a curfew.<p>

"Worried about tomorrow?" Sebastian asked as he sat down next to her and handed her an iced tea. Spencer turned to look at him with raised eyebrows as she took a sip of the cold liquid. It was a rare warm day that afternoon so they had opted to sit outside in the sun, even though Sebastian wouldn't let her take off her coat, worried that she would get a cold. Sebastian nodded. "My mom used to stress out so much the day before her treatments. Just because she knew how she was going to feel once it was done."

Spencer's eyebrows shot up again as she pulled the straw out of her mouth and tried not to choke on the tea. "Your mom?" she asked, leaning closer to Sebastian so that no one else could overhear their conversation. Sebastian froze, apparently he hadn't planned on releasing that bit of information. "Of course," Spencer said with a nod. "I always figured you had known someone with cancer, I never really have to explain things to you. You just know. Never figured that it would be your mom though. When did it happen? What type did she have?"

Sebastian looked at her like he was about to tell her to shut her mouth and mind her own business, but then the look on his face softened and he nodded. Spencer smiled when she realized that she was going to get the information she wanted. "Lung cancer," he said with a nod, "She was a pack-a-day smoker for as long as I can remember. They first noticed the tumors during the summer before my junior year of high school. But it was too late, she had avoided the doctor for too long. By the end of the school year she was gone."

Spencer nodded, "And then you moved to America to live with your dad?" she asked, putting things into the time line that she had on Sebastian. She knew that he had lived in Paris for a while with his mom and that he had only moved to live with his dad and stepmother during the summer before their senior year. Sebastian nodded. Spencer reached out and gently laced her fingers through his. "I'm sorry," she breathed, squeezing his hand lightly before quickly pulling away. Sebastian was not a fan of public, physical contact.

He nodded and took a sip of his coffee. "So what are your plans for this afternoon?" he asked her. "Taking another crack at baking pot brownies?" Spencer shook her head and hissed at him to be quiet as she glanced around as if to make sure that no one had heard what he had said. Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. "Come on, Voldemort, people are going to find out ... it's not like that wig is very convincing. Honestly, I don't know how you get people to think that it is."

Spencer shook her head and scratched the scalp of the wig in question. "You would be surprised at how much people miss when they're not looking for it," she said with a smile.

"I know what you mean," Sebastian said with a chuckle, leaning back in his seat with a self-satisfied grin on his face. "I mean, you never noticed what an amazing personality I had during our senior year. I assume it's because you weren't looking for it." Spencer shook her head and chuckled, and said something about how it had more to do with how much of a _douche bag_ he was in high school than anything else. Sebastian chose to ignore her statement. "So what are you doing this afternoon?" he asked, returning to his previous question.

Spencer shrugged and took another sip of her ice tea. "You remember how Mr. Schue invited me to stop by Glee club to help out?" she asked. Her friend nodded. She shrugged again, "I was thinking of maybe taking him up on that offer. I need something to take my mind off tomorrow and he could probably use the help. It might be fun." Sebastian nodded and leaned over in his chair so that he could grab the book he planned on reading since Spencer wasn't going to be there to entertain him. "You could come?" she said softly. "If you have nothing else to do, I mean," she said softly playing with her straw and refusing to look at the brunette next to her.

Sebastian stared at the girl. She was trying to act as if this invite was no big deal, but he knew better. He had gotten used to Spencer's tells and one of them was that whenever she tried to act like something wasn't important to her she wouldn't make eye contact. Judging by the fact that she was resolutely staring at the crack in the sidewalk in front of her this was kind of important. He considered telling her that if he wanted to spend an afternoon with a bunch of high school students he would visit Dalton. But instead he nodded, "Sure," he said, "as long as I am allowed to make fun of those losers." Spencer shot him a warning look. He sighed, "Under my breath?" he asked. She narrowed her eyes. "Once we're no longer around them?" he asked.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" she asked with a smile as she stood up from her chair and bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, impatiently waiting for the man to stand up and follow her to her car. Sebastian sighed, this girl owed him big time. And yet, as he sat in the passenger seat of her car and watched her dance in her seat and sing to the song on the radio he realized that he would rather be here than spending time alone. This was a new feeling for him, if he had ever doubted that he and Spencer were friends he couldn't anymore.

-.-.-.-.-

Will Schuester wasn't surprised when Spencer strolled into the choir room that afternoon. The brunette had never been able to stay away during her senior year. She had been almost as dedicated to the club as Rachel Berry. There were some days that she had been the first to arrive in the choir room and the last to leave. The little brunette had never complained about assignments and had always chosen songs that didn't seem like they would work, but they always did. Will's favorite part about her was her voice, was she better than Rachel Berry? Probably not, but her voice had always had a roughness, an edge, a soul that Rachel's did not. Spencer had seen some real pain in her life at one point or another and she used it to her advantage when she sang. It was beautiful.

So, no, Will was not surprised to see Spencer that Monday afternoon. But he was surprised when, after waving hello to him, she turned around to look at someone in the hallway jerking her head toward the classroom to indicate that whoever was there should follow her. He got a bigger surprise when the Sebastian kid strolled into the choir room with his hands shoved in his pant pockets. Apparently these two were closer friends that Will had ever imagined. Spencer smiled at the boy and grabbed his hand, "I told you I'd show you the trophy," she said with a smile as she pulled him toward the trophy case and pointed to the tallest trophy in the case. "Nationals," she said proudly. "2012. Pretty isn't it?" Sebastian rolled his eyes. Spencer shook her head. "Don't be sad," she cooed, patting his shoulder. "It was some tough competition. The Warblers wouldn't have placed anyway."

"Shut up," Sebastian growled, reaching up so that he could wrap his arm around Spencer's shoulders. He leaned in, "Before I give you a noogie sandwich and your wig falls off," he added, whispering in her ear. Spencer slapped his hands away before she turned around and pulled Sebastian closer to Will, introducing them once again. Sebastian composed his face into a friendly smile before he held out his hand to the teacher, "Thank you so much for inviting us," he said before he dropped Will's hand, trying to be on his best behavior for Spencer.

Spencer smiled at him before she reached out and allowed her fingers to lightly brush over his forearm, silently thanking him for not being an asshole. "So when do the kids get here, Mr. Schue?" she asked. "And what lame lesson are you trying to instill this week?"

"Exactly what I was wondering," a redheaded student demanded as she walked into the classroom. Spencer turned to look at the girl and smiled when she realized that she recognized her. She had been part of the Trouble-Tones during Spencer's senior year. She had been blonde back then, but the red suited her. She had a good voice, and by the way she held herself and looked at the students around her she knew it. Spencer turned to look at Will with raised eyebrows. This girl had turned into Rachel Berry 2.0. The girl glanced between Spencer and Sebastian, raising her own eyebrows. "Who are you?" she asked, sounding almost threatened as if she thought that they were here to attempt to steal her solos.

Spencer smiled at her in what she hoped was a nonthreatening way. Her muscles remembered this smile, she had used it a lot during her first few weeks in New Directions when Rachel had felt threatened by her presence. "You're Taylor, right?" she asked, holding out her hand. "I'm Spencer, I was part of New Directions your freshmen year." The threatened look on the redhead's face instantly disappeared once she realized that Spencer had graduated and wasn't a new Glee kid. Her eyes darted toward Sebastian. "This is Sebastian Smythe," Spencer said, gesturing toward her friend. "He used to go to Dalton Academy. Mr. Schue invited us to come help out if we wanted to."

Taylor's eyes narrowed when she heard what school Sebastian had gone to. "He can't be here," she said, looking from Will, to the other New Directions students, to Spencer as if hoping that one of them would agree with her and back her up. Mostly she just got a lot of confused looks, no one seemed to understand why she was so against Sebastian. Spencer noticed that quite a few girls were actually ... eyefucking him (that was the only adjective she could come up with). She bit her lip to keep from laughing at their future disappointment. "He may have graduated but he's still from Dalton," Taylor continued, explaining her point in a very Rachel Berry like manner. "He could go back to his alma mater and give them our secrets. We have to think about Regionals guys, they are our competition."

"No offense," Sebastian said, stepping forward so that he was standing next to Spencer and not behind the small girl. "Actually, take all the offense you want. But I have better things to do than to mess with some little high schoolers' singing competition. The only reason I'm here is because she's here," he added, jabbing his thumb in Spencer's direction. "If she wants to come here and listen to a bunch of whiney teenagers complain about how nobody likes them and their acne than I will bring my earplugs and sit in the back of the classroom and wait for the lesson to finish. But I'm not going to turn around, run back to Dalton, and _give them your secrets_. You're probably not worth the time."

Spencer turned her head to the side to glance at him. "Way to not make fun of them to their faces," she hissed through the corner of her mouth before she grabbed his hand and pulled him up the tiered floor to the back row of chairs. "We're just here to observe," she told the class once she had pulled Sebastian down into the chair next to her. She sent Will an apologetic smile as he calmed Taylor down and got the kids to sit down so that they could start the lesson. "I hate you, Merekat," she hissed, refusing to look at him as she faced forward, ignoring the glares that Taylor continued to shoot in Sebastian's direction.

Will clapped his hands together and brought all of the kids' attention back to him. "Right," he said while he turned around and walked toward the whiteboard so that he could write this week's lesson on the board. Spencer rolled her eyes and shook her head lovingly, it was nice to know that Will Schuester hadn't changed his teaching methods over the years. "This week we're going to be working on mash-ups!" Will yelled, trying to get the kids excited as he pointed to the words on the board. "Can anyone tell me what a mash-up is?" Sebastian couldn't hold back his chuckle as he watched Will pointedly ignore Taylor's raised hand and call on another student who explained what a mash-up was to the class, most of whom looked like they already knew what it was. "Exactly," Will said with a nod before turning toward the back so that he could gesture to Spencer, "And luckily for us, Spencer here was the master of putting mash-ups together her senior year. This afternoon you are going to pair up to work on mash-up ideas that you will perform throughout the week, but Spencer might be convinced to sing one this afternoon."

Spencer shook her head at Will again before she glanced at the students who were all watching her now. There were a few faces that she recognized from her senior year. Freshmen who were now seniors and had heard her sing, knew what she could do. But there were a lot of new kids, a few of which seemed to have heard about her if the grins on their faces meant anything. She smiled before turning to look at Sebastian. "I will if Seb will sing with me," she said, her smile turning into a cheeky grin as Sebastian rolled his eyes and nodded and Taylor narrowed her eyes.

-.-.-.-.-

Sebastian was convinced that he had made a mistake by agreeing to sing with Spencer that afternoon. She had told me that the Glee Club meetings usually only lasted about an hour. How were they supposed to come up with a decent mash-up within an hour. But Will hadn't been lying when he had said that Spencer was a master of putting mash-ups together. She had grabbed his hand and pulled him out into the hallway the moment the students had started to break off into pairs. "So I already have an idea," she had breathed on her way out of the classroom. "And don't worry, you don't even have to learn any new songs. I guarantee you already know your parts." Sebastian had raised his eyebrows and asked her how she knew that. She had smiled at him, "Because I was there when you sang it," she said with a grin before sitting down on the ground and pulling out her notebook.

Now they were standing in front of the students and he couldn't help but smile at the girl standing next to him. She grinned back to him and he could see why she had wanted to come here this afternoon. She hadn't been lying when she said that it would help keep her mind off of her chemo appointment the next day. She was more relaxed than he had seen her in a while. As he watched her wink at Will he could also imagine what she had been like in high school. She had barely been a blip on his radar their senior year, just another annoying McKinley student, but he could imagine her in high school and he could see why people in her glee club had loved her. He flashed a cheesy smile in the redheaded bitch's direction before he started to sing.

[Sb]: "_The sun goes down,_  
><em>The stars come out,<em>  
><em>And all that counts,<em>  
><em>Is here and now.<em>  
><em>My Universe will never be the same,<em>  
><em>I'm glad you came.<em>

[Sp]: _I just came to say hello_

[Sb]: _I decided you look well on me, well on me_  
><em>So let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me.<em>

[Sp]: _I'm not the kinda girl who'd get messed up with you, hello._  
><em>I'ma let you try to convince me to, hello.<em>

[Sb]:_ Turn the lights out now,_  
><em>Now I'll take you by the hand,<em>  
><em>Hand you another drink<em>

[Sp]: _Yeah I think you're cure but I really think that you should know,_  
><em>I just came to say hello, hello, hello, hello.<em>

[Sb]: _Drink it if you can._  
><em>Can you spend a little time,<em>  
><em>Time is slipping away,<em>  
><em>Away from us so stay.<em>

[Sp]: _I could stick around and get along with you, hello_

[Sb]: _Stay with me I can make,_  
><em>Make you glad you came.<em>

[Sp]: _It doesn't really mean that I'm into you, hello._  
><em>Don't get to excited 'cause that's all you get from me, hey.<em>

[Sb]: _I'm glad you came._

[Sp]:_ I just came to say hello._

[Sb]: _Glad you came._

[Sp]: _Came to say hello._  
><em>Hello<em>  
><em>Hello.<em>

[Both]: _Glad you came to say ... hello._"

Their voices worked together better than Sebastian would have thought. And Spencer was pretty good with putting together mash-ups on the spot. Their lines weren't cut and dry, Spencer would often start her lines before Sebastian had finished his, her tempo slightly faster than his or slower. Their song wasn't so much blocks of lyrics from the two songs, but rather it almost sounded like a conversation at a party. With the boy trying to make an impression, to convince the girl that he was worth her time and the girl not buying it ... not even bothering to listen to the guy's entire argument before she cut in. During the last line, the only line that they actually sang together Sebastian turned to grin at the girl standing next to him as she raised her right hand, bending her fingers so that she could give an almost flirty wave to the students in the front row. Once the music died away she turned, giggling to Sebastian and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him as she turned to smile at Will.

Sebastian glanced down at her for a moment before he tentatively wrapped his arms around her as well. This was the first time that they had hugged when she wasn't a mess in the rain or they weren't high. It felt ... strangely normal. He basked in the student's applause for a moment before he pulled away from Spencer only to grab her hand and pull her back to their seats. "And that is how you do a mash-up," Spencer said, snapping her fingers in Taylor's face before Sebastian forcefully pushed her into her seat.

Will thanked them for their demonstration before he told the students that he hoped it had given them some ideas and that he looked forward to their own performances later during the week. Then he dismissed the students. Sebastian smiled when he heard one girl whisper to her partner, "Can we just take that mash-up and perform it later this week? There's no way we're going to top that." Spencer had obviously been listening too because she gave Sebastian a sharp jab to the ribs with her elbow before she stood up from her seat and walked down the tiered steps to talk to her former teacher. Sebastian hung back, not wanting to intrude on the conversation.

"That was really good, Spence," Will congratulated as he began to stack the choir chairs. Spencer tried to help, but her muscles really weren't up to the task. Sebastian felt himself flinch as he watched her struggle. "You still have it," Will continued, not seeming to notice how much trouble his former student was having. "Will you guys be back tomorrow?" he asked, glancing between Spencer and Sebastian, asking both of them. "I'm sure Taylor will try to have a mash-up to outdo yours." Sebastian raised his eyebrows as he turned to look at Spencer, wondering what her response would be.

Spencer shook her head, "Probably not, Mr. Schue," she said, her eyes sad. The distraction of Glee club quickly wearing away. "Or for the rest of the week. I've got some things to take care of. But you'll have to tell us about the performances when we're back next week." Sebastian's eyes narrowed at the _we_. He knew that he would agree if she asked, but he didn't like that she already assumed that he would. He'd say that she was being too familiar if it weren't for the fact that he had allowed this to happen. It was his fault.

And as he watched her smirk at him he nodded, knowing that if it made the cancer patient happy he would show up at every one of these lame Glee practices. Just to help her take her mind off of things. But there was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that told him that he really wasn't the guy she wanted or needed right now.

Unfortunately, it was apparently his fault that she had broken up with the guy she really needed.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>First, I would like to say that I'm so sorry it took me so long to update!  
>This week has been crazy busy with school work and actual work and preparing to graduate (side note: I'm totally freaking out about that. I'm graduating from college in like 30 days and I'm so worried about what to do with my life) that updating was like the last thing on my mind.<br>So I'm sorry.  
>Second, I hope that you guys liked this update and I hope that you will review to let me know.<br>Reviews help me live and they motivate me!  
>So, I guess I'll see you back here soon.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Notes: And Puck comes back!

* * *

><p>The second week with McKinley's Glee club wasn't as bad as the first one. It seemed that Taylor had done some research and realized that Sebastian hadn't been lying when he told her that he wasn't going to run to Dalton Academy and tell the Warblers what the New Directions were doing. She still glared at him as though she didn't trust him, but she didn't raise any objections when he walked into the room. Sebastian sent her a cheeky grin from his seat at the back of the room while Spencer and Will talked about the mash-ups from the week before and what they were going to do that week. From what Sebastian gathered the teacher had given the students a free pass this week. There was no real assignment besides to just sing ... anything they wanted really, they just needed to sing. Spencer wasn't as excited about this assignment as she had been about the last one. But she had nodded and returned to her seat at the back of the classroom and listened while a few students performed their song choices for the group. She nodded and applauded politely while shooting glares as Sebastian every time he started to chuckle. And at the end of the class when Will asked them what they thought of the performances they had seen she offered kind criticism and suggestions that were vastly different from Sebastian's comments of "I wanted to kill myself rather than listen to another word from your mouth," or his personal favorite, "I'd rather be at a chemotherapy appointment." That one had earned him a quick stomp on his left foot and a glare that would have been threatening if it wasn't obvious that Spencer was trying so hard not to laugh. Sebastian had grinned, he liked knowing that she didn't mind when he joked about her current situation.<p>

After Will had dismissed his students he had turned to Spencer and Sebastian and asked them if they would be back later during the week or if, like last week, they had things to do and he wouldn't see them until the next Monday. Spencer had smiled at him and apologized to him for the fact that once again they would have to skip the rest of the weeks practices, but that they would see him on the next Monday. "Just so that we're prepared," she said as she stooped to grab her jacket off the chair. "What is next week's lesson going to be?"

Will smiled as he watched Sebastian step forward and grab Spencer's coat, holding it open for her so that she could slip her arms into it without a struggle. "Love songs," he said with a nod. "Valentine's Day is coming up and I've finally convinced this group that singing love songs to other students would be a good idea. So we'll be coming up with love songs to sing throughout the week and then choose which ones to sing on Valentine's day." Sebastian snorted at how dorky that suggestion sounded. Spencer stepped on his foot again, making sure that it was the left one to cause him extra pain before she told Will that she thought it was a great idea. "Would you be willing to sing one at the beginning of the class just to get their creative juices flowing?" Will asked, his eyes darting between his former student and the young man who seemed to go everywhere with her.

Spencer looked at Sebastian with a twinkle in her eye. He started to shake his head no although he knew it wouldn't matter. Spencer would do what she wanted, she was like a honey badger in that way. She never cared what people thought, she did what she wanted. And somehow she managed to convince other people to go along with it. She smiled at him for a moment before she nodded and told Will that he could expect a great performance, "Maybe Disney," she said with a giggle as Sebastian's eyes widened in fear and he grabbed her arm, forcibly removing her from the room before she could say anything else.

"I am not doing Disney," he hissed as the pair walked toward the front of the school. Spencer smiled when she realized that Sebastian never said that he wouldn't sing a love song with her. Just that he wouldn't sing a Disney song with her. She reached up to pinch his cheek and cooed to him that she knew he loved Glee club. Sebastian shook his head, but the look he gave her told her that he didn't mind it as much as he liked to pretend he did.

Sebastian spent the night at Spencer's house that night. As much as she liked to pretend that she wasn't worried and that everything was okay he knew she was acting. The next day marked her last chemo treatment. The next week she'd be going in for x-rays and MRIs to see if the chemo was working. He had stared at her throughout the dinner that her mother had made for them, she wasn't eating much and her eyes kept darting up to look at her mother as if she was worried about the older woman. Sebastian smiled ruefully to himself, she was worried about her mother she had told him that. She had told him that she felt that she was almost ready to go. She didn't want bad news, but if she got it she was ready for it. She thought she could handle it. But she didn't think that her mother could. She worried about what her mother would do if the doctors started talking about palliative care. Her mother wouldn't accept that he daughter wasn't going to beat this disease. She would yell at the doctors and nurses, she would try to convince Spencer to keep fighting. But in the end it would be useless.

"Why do you want to stop fighting it?" he asked later that night as they sat on her bed not really doing anything. Sebastian was looking through a sports magazine while Spencer lay on her back, idly strumming at her ukelele. For a moment Spencer continued strumming as if she hadn't even heard him. Sebastian opened his mouth to ask her again, but she tilted her neck so that she could look at him without flipping over and he shut his mouth, knowing that she was trying to come up with an answer to his question and that he shouldn't push her. She'd tell him once she had an answer. So he waited, flipping through the pages of his magazine without really seeing anything.

"I'm just tired," she said with a sigh before she put her ukelele on the bed and flipped over onto her stomach so that she could really look at her friend. "I'm tired of the needles and the drugs and the constant worrying. I'm tired of the doctors and the nurses, and the smell of hospitals. I'm tired of the bad news and how I feel after the treatments that are supposed to make me feel better and the waiting. I'm tired of being upset that my younger brother knows way more about cancer than he should. I'm tired of hearing my mom cry in the middle of the night, but knowing that she will never talk to me about how worried she is. And I am so damn tired of how everyone around me acts as though this is no big deal, that I'm going to beat it again despite the odds. I'm so tired of pretending that I believe them."

Sebastian stared at her for a minute before he reached out his hand for hers. Spencer looked at him for a moment before slipping her hand into his outstretched one and allowing him to pull her into his lap. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight for a moment, silently hugging her before he pressed a kiss onto the top of her bald head. She didn't wear the wig at home and to be honest he liked it better that way. It felt more real, more natural to him. "But do you really want to give up living that easily, Spence?" he asked.

Spencer barked out a cynical laugh. "What kind of life will I be living Seb?" she asked, turning her head to stare at him. She shook her head. "You watched your mother go through this. The chemo is just as bad, sometimes worse, than the cancer. And chemo for chemo's sake could kill me faster than just letting the cancer do its thing. And honestly, what kind of quality of life would I have?" Sebastian flinched, that phrase had been uses around his mom a lot toward the end.

"Not a very good one," Sebastian said softly. Spencer nodded before she told him that she'd rather live for a shorter amount of time and die comfortable and as happy as possible than to fight and suffer just for fighting's sake. Sebastian couldn't blame her. She didn't choose to get cancer. And she definitely hadn't chosen for her cancer to not respond to chemo. But she did at least deserve to decide when it was enough. To decide how she died and how long she fought against the disease that seemed to be winning. He smiled down at her, "The good news is that as you get closer to dying you'll get sicker and I won't have to go to those stupid Glee club meetings anymore."

Spencer began to laugh at Sebastian's lame attempt at making her feel better. But the laughter died on her lips a moment later when her door swung open and Toby stormed into her room. "Toby!" she called softly, trying to be soothing as her little brother walked closer to the bed, glaring between her and Sebastian as if he could not decide who to like less at the moment. "Tob, you need to calm down," she said softly, still trying to remain soothing and to keep her brother from doing anything stupid. Toby shook his head and let his glare settle on Sebastian, obviously deciding which of the two he was angriest at. He didn't say anything, just stood there and glared at the older boy before he lunged forward and landed a punch on Sebastian's face. This time it was Sebastian's name that Spencer called as she moved forward quickly to check on her friend, he seemed dazed, but okay so she turned to look at her brother. "What the hell was that for?" she gasped, staring at Toby with wide, confused eyes.

"What the hell, Spencer?" Toby asked, ignoring her question about Sebastian and rounding on her. "What the hell are you thinking? Are you just going to give up? I know it's hard. I know it sucks. But that doesn't mean that you can just give up and let it kill you!" Spencer whispered his name, trying to calm him down before their mother could hear what he was saying, but he shook his head. "I don't give a damn if Mom hears me. She probably should so that she knows. Knows what a selfish daughter she has." Spencer quieted at the word selfish, that was something she had never been called before. Toby nodded, "Selfish," he spat out, his glare darkening as he glanced at Sebastian to make sure that the older man wasn't going to try to hurt him. "You can't just give up," he growled, turning back to his sister. "We, the family, have been fighting this since you were five. Not just you. And you can't just decide to give up without the rest of us. You can't just ... can't just ... you can't," Spencer watched as the anger left her brother's face. He no longer looked like an angry man, but rather a scared child. His face was red from his effort not to cry, but his eyes were glassy. He sighed, the last of his anger leaving him. "You can't just leave," he said softly, looking at his sister with wide, tear-filled eyes. "Don't you love us?" he asked, sounding broken.

"Of course she loves you," Sebastian said softly, sitting up on the bed and holding his arms up in surrender to keep Toby from attacking him again. "That's why she'll give up. She loves you guys so much that she wants to actually be present during her last bit of time with you. She wants to be comfortable and lucid. She doesn't want you to watch her get sicker and tired and waste away. The reason she would choose to give up is so that you could have happy memories for your last memories. Memories that didn't involve hospitals or nurses or doctors or chemo drugs. She's doing this for you." Spencer turned to look at Sebastian, surprised by his amount of insight into her thought process. He seemed to understand exactly what she was feeling and why. She wondered if he had had a conversation like this with his mother once. He smiled sadly at her.

Toby seemed less impressed. He glared at Sebastian and shook his head. "You don't get to talk about her you bastard!" he growled, getting angry again. "You don't even get to look at her. You don't know shit! And you cannot joke about her dying. What kind of sick fuck are you?"

"He's a good friend," Spencer said softly, standing up from her bed to look at her brother. "That's what he is." She sighed and turned to look at Sebastian. "Seb," she said softly, taking a step closer to the man.

Sebastian nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow," he breathed, standing up from the bed and grabbing his jacket. "Call me if you need me. Or need anything. I can play chauffeur if you need me to. Or buy you food ... I draw the line at painting each other's nails and talking about boys though." Spencer smiled at him as he hugged her. She joked that talking about boys was probably the one thing they had in common. He smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek before quickly leaving the room, giving Toby as much space as possible as he walked around him to get to the door. Once he was gone Spencer turned to look at Toby with another sigh.

Toby shook his head, "I don't get it," he breathed. "How can you just give up? After everything you've been through. After all Mom and Dad have done for you. Is it all for nothing? Don't you care about what this will do to them? Don't you care about what this will do to me?" Spencer sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her. Waiting until Toby sat down next to her. She watched him as he moved closer to her bed. When had her little brother stopped being a teenager, a little kid, and started being a man? He seemed older, more weary. She began to realize just how much her disease had an affect on him. Toby looked broken, weak, and as tired as Spencer felt. And yet, he wasn't willing to give up yet. He slowly moved to the bed and sat down next to her, she reached up and gently pushed his head until it was resting on her shoulder. He was shaking, Spencer wasn't sure what to make of that until she felt a tear land on her shoulder, her baby brother was crying. Toby turned his head so that his nose was buried in the crook of Spencer's neck and he inhaled as if trying to memorize the way she smelled. "I can't lose you, Spence," he whispered, his voice hitching at the end. It was heartbreaking.

"I won't go anywhere," Spencer breathed, turning her own head so that she could plant a kiss on the top of her brother's head. "Everybody dies someday. It doesn't mean they just disappear. People remember them, miss them. It's not like you won't be allowed to come in here and just sit if you miss me. It's not that I want to die, but it gets to a point when we need to realize that I'm not going to get any better. And then we'll need to start preparing for this. I'm not scared. If the chemo doesn't work I'll be ready. I'm tired of worrying and being in pain. And I'm not going to spend the rest of my life miserable and fighting this thing just so that people don't think I gave up. Sometimes the bravest thing to do is to just give up and stop pushing." Toby couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips at his sister cliche statement.

"But we don't have to talk about it now?" he asked, turning to look at his sister with wide, concerned eyes. "I mean, you still have one more chemo treatment. And it might be working, you don't know. So we don't have to talk about it now. We won't talk about it now." Spencer sighed but nodded, kissing her brother's forehead before telling him that they didn't have to talk about it now if he didn't want to. He nodded again and wrapped his arms around her. "Can I stay here tonight?" he asked, once he had pulled away. Spencer nodded and moved to lean against her pillows, leaning her head on her brother's shoulder once he sat down next to her. "I love you, Spence," Toby whispered as he leaned his head on top of hers. Spencer nodded and told him that she loved him too. They were quiet after that, didn't say much, but there was a lot of hugging, as if despite what he had said earlier Toby knew he might not have too much more time to hug his sister in the future.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Noah Puckerman ran into Will Schuester in the grocery store on Monday morning a week later. He smiled and said hello to his former teacher, preparing to make some small talk about Will's current Glee students and then continue his pursuit for Ego waffles. But when Puck asked about the new Glee kids Will's face lit up. "They're pretty good," he said with a nod. "You should stop by a meeting sometime." Puck started to shake his head, but Will interrupted him. "Spencer stops by every Monday afternoon to help out with one of her friends. You should come."

Puck's interest perked when he heard that. Maybe this was the friend that had answered Spencer's phone a week ago. He told Will that he didn't have to go to work that afternoon and that he would be at McKinley in time for Glee. He spent the rest of the day second guessing his decision. After three weeks that morning had been the first morning that he woke up and his first thought had had nothing to do with Spencer Anderson. Did he really want to mess up all the progress he had made just to see who she was hanging out with these days?

The answer was yes. And then it was no. And then it was yes again. Because honestly, it wasn't just that he was curious about who Spencer was hanging out with. But he wanted to know how she was doing. He knew that last week had been her last chemo appointment which meant that some time this week she'd be getting an MRI and an X-Ray to see if the chemo was doing its job. How did she look? Had she gained weight? Was she eating? Did she look healthier? Or was the combination of the chemo and the cancer making her look worse? These were all questions that he was willing to ruin his progress to get answers for. And so, there he was walking back into the choir room at McKinley at 3:30 to be met with a sight that he never imagined he would ever see.

Spencer was sitting next to the former Warbler in the back of the room. They were holding hands and her head was resting on his shoulders as they whispered quietly to each other. Wasn't that kid gay? And wasn't it the same one who had made fun of Kurt every chance he got during their senior year? The one who threw that rock salt slushie in Blaine's eye? Why was Spencer hanging out with him? What was the Meerkat's angle? What did he hope to gain from hanging out with Spencer? He stood in the doorway staring for a few more moments before he decided that he would simply turn around and leave and try to forget what he had just seen. But at the exact moment that he started to turn around Spencer lifted her blue eyes and caught sight of him. "Noah?" she asked softly, lifting her head off of Sebastian's shoulder but not letting go of his hand.

And suddenly it was as if Puck was rooted to the ground. He couldn't leave even if he wanted to. The simple two syllables, his name, was all he needed to hear. It was enough to get him to walk further into the classroom and take a seat on the other side, trying his hardest not to look at Spencer and Sebastian. But that plan didn't work, as Will opened up the meeting by talking about what they were going to be doing that week Puck's gaze continued to land on Spencer, as if he was hoping to catch her eye. And he did. It seemed to him as if Spencer never stopped looking at him. Her eyes were wide and concerned, as if she was worried about him. He shook his head, of course she was worried about him, Spencer always worried about other people rather than herself. It was one of her more concerning qualities.

"And to get you in the mood to sing love songs, Spencer and Sebastian have agreed to sing a little song to get this afternoon started," Will said, gesturing toward the two people in the back of the classroom. The kids smiled and clapped a bit as if they were used to Spencer and Sebastian by now. Puck watched with raised eyebrows as they stood up and walked toward the front of the classroom, Spencer carrying what looked like a small guitar while Sebastian set up two stools so that they were sitting less than a few inches from each other. Spencer settled gracefully on her stool and waited for the boy to sit on his before she smiled at the kids, her eyes darting quickly to Puck before she looked away. She started strumming the ukelele surprising Puck - he hadn't known that she could play the ukelele, and swaying back and forth slightly before she started to sing.

"[Sp]:_ Don't you worry there my honey,_  
><em>We might not have any money,<em>  
><em>But we've got our love to pay the bills.<em>  
><em>Maybe I think you're cute and funny,<em>  
><em>Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,<em>  
><em>If you know what I mean.<em>"

Spencer winked at the students before laughing at the disgusted look Sebastian flashed in her direction. Puck took that look to mean that the brunette boy was, in fact, still gay. Spencer shook her head at him, continuing to strum the ukelele before she started to sing again.

"[Sp]: _Oh, Let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France,_  
><em>Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance.<em>  
><em>Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants,<em>  
><em>From way up there, you and I, you and I.<em>

[Sb]: _Well you might be a bit confused,_  
>[Sp]: <em>And you might be a little bit bruised,<br>_[Sb]: _But baby how we spoon like no one else._  
><em>So I will help you read those books,<em>  
><em>If you will soothe my worried looks,<br>_[both]: _And we will put the lonesome on the shelf_."

Sebastian had shot Spencer goofy look when he had sang that she was _confused_. And she had stopped strumming her instrument long enough to brush at the yellow-green bruise under his eye that Puck hadn't noticed until now as she said that he was _bruised_. Puck briefly wondered why someone had given the kid a black eye, not that he probably didn't deserve it. What really surprised him was that despite the fact that Sebastian was gay, these two seemed comfortable enough with each other that they could have been a couple. They had obviously spent a lot of time together. They continued to sing the rest of the song together, harmonizing in a way that would have made Rachel and Finn jealous.

"_Let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France,_  
><em>Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance.<em>  
><em>Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants,<em>  
><em>From way up there, you and I, you and I.<em>

_Oh, Let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France,_  
><em>Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance.<em>  
><em>Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants,<em>  
><em>From way up there, you and I, you and I.<em>"

Spencer had stopped playing the ukelele for the last chorus, she and Sebastian had slowed it down a bit and Sebastian had started stomping and clapping the pattern from "We Will Rock You." The students joined in, stomping twice and clapping once. Spencer's smile grew as she watched them and they finished, the clapping died down for the last _you and I_. She giggled and inclined her head as the kids started clapping and Sebastian climbed off his stool, holding his hand out to her so that he could help her off of her stool.

Will thanked them as Sebastian and Spencer made their way back to their seats. But Puck shook his head. "Fuck this," he said, grabbing a guitar from one of the kids in the ensemble band and walking toward the abandoned stools. "I'll show you guys a love song."

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Hello dears! I bet you guys are happy. Puck's back!  
>And he's gonna play a big part in the next chapter if you can't tell from his last sentence in this chapter.<br>Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter.  
>You should <strong>review<strong> to let me know. I love review love.  
>Thank you for your patience and your support!<br>I'll see you back here soon.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

* * *

><p>Spencer's eyes grew wider as she watched Puck walk up to the stools with the acoustic guitar. She didn't care that she was almost twenty-two and that she hardly knew any of the kids in this classroom. This felt very much like high school when the kids in the club were constantly serenading their significant others or the people that they wanted to date. She felt nervous for some reason that she could not quite explain. So nervous that she didn't even notice that she was holding her breath until Sebastian poked her in the ribs and told her to breathe. She turned her head to look at him, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion until Puck started playing the guitar and her head snapped forward again so that she could stare at him. She didn't know what song he was singing, but she figured that it was a country song based on the tune and the sound. Puck let his hazel eyes lift off the guitar long enough to make eye contact with Spencer for one heartbreaking second before he started to sing.<p>

"_She dropped the phone and burst into tears,_  
><em>The doctor just confirmed her fears.<em>  
><em>Her husband held it in and held her tight.<em>  
><em>Cancer don't discriminate or care if you're just 38,<em>  
><em>With three kids who need you in their lives.<em>  
><em>He said, 'I know that you're afraid and I am, too<em>  
><em>But you'll never be alone, I promise you.'<em>

_When you're weak, I'll be strong._  
><em>When you let go, I'll hold on.<em>  
><em>When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes.<em>  
><em>When you feel lost and scared to death,<em>  
><em>Like you can't take one more step,<em>  
><em>Just take my hand, together we can do it,<em>  
><em>I'm gonna love you through it.<em>

_She made it through the surgery fine,_  
><em>They said they caught it just in time.<em>  
><em>But they had to take more than they planned.<em>  
><em>Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts,<em>  
><em>To hide what the cancer took from her.<em>  
><em>And she just wants to feel like a woman again.<em>  
><em>She said, 'I don't think I can do this anymore.'<em>  
><em>He took her in his arms and said, 'That's what my love is for.'<em>

_When you're weak, I'll be strong._  
><em>When you let go, I'll hold on.<em>  
><em>And when you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes.<em>  
><em>When you feel lost and scared to death,<em>  
><em>Like you can't take one more step,<em>  
><em>Just take my hand, together we can do it,<em>  
><em>I'm gonna love you through it.<em>

_And when this road gets too long,_  
><em>I'll be the rock you lean on.<em>  
><em>Just take my hand, together we can do it.<em>  
><em>I'm gonna love you through it.<em>  
><em>I'm gonna love you through it.<em>"

After his initial look at the beginning of the song Puck made a point not to look up at Spencer to see how she was taking it. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it if he looked up to see her glaring at him or even worse, crying. So he had looked at his guitar the whole time, only bothering to look up once he had finished playing. Spencer was still holding Sebastian's hand and her head was resting on his shoulder again, but there was something different. She had tears in her eyes and she was bald. Puck's gaze darted to Sebastian to see a brunette wig sitting in his lap. At some point during the song he had reached up and pulled Spencer's wig off her head, revealing to everyone in the choir room that she was bald. No one else seemed to have noticed yet, they were too busy looking at Puck. But he ignored their praise as he watched Spencer lean in and whisper something in Sebastian's ear. The Warbler gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as she stood up and made her way toward the front of the room, ignoring the gasps she received as people took in her smooth head.

She stood in front of Puck, looking like she was debating whether to slap him across the face or kick him in the balls. Puck was about to apologize when she moved closer to him and pressed a soft, barely-there kiss onto his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, reaching up to brush away some of the tears that had slipped out of her eyes. Puck reached up his hand to catch hers, but she shook her head and stepped out of his reach. She pulled a knit cap out of her back pocket and slipped it on her head as she quickly walked out of the choir room. The room was silent for a moment before Sebastian grabbed his jacket and her bag before he followed her out of the classroom. More silence. And then ...

"Unbelievable," a loud-mouthed redhead that looked familiar exploded. "I can't get one guy, and this girl gets two! And she's a baldy, who saw that one coming?"

"Taylor," another girl hissed, as if she could make her friend behave.

Puck shook his head and handed the guitar back to the kid it belonged to before glancing at Will who looked confused at what had just happened. He smiled at the poor, confused former teacher. "That would be the chemo," he said softly, knowing that the words weren't the best explanation, but they were all he had at the moment. Will nodded before watching Puck leave the choir room as well.

Puck considered trying to find Spencer or heading over to her house. But he had a feeling that she didn't particularly want to see him at the moment. So instead he climbed into his car and drove home. He was done pushing Spencer, she would come to him when she was ready. If he kept following her, chasing after her, that was just going to make her uncomfortable and nervous and he'd never be allowed near her again.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck had the next day off of work. His original plan had been to sleep late and spend the rest of the day watching man movies. It wasn't as though he had any friends in town besides Spencer and up until yesterday they hadn't really seen each other since the good bye party before all the Glee kids went back to school. Sure, he had seen her a couple of times at the grocery store or at the Lima Bean with that ex-Warbler, but they hadn't talked. Not that they had really talked yesterday either. But she had kissed him after his performance, in front of Mr. Schue, the rest of the Glee students, and that Sebastian kid. Granted it was on the cheek, but that had to count for something. Right? So maybe he did have something to do that day.

He was eating his Ego Waffles and watching Spike when the doorbell rang. Later, if Spencer asked, he hadn't thrown himself over the couch and run to the door, but in reality that was what he had done. He opened the door with a large, friendly smile on his face, expecting to see Spencer, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't see anyone. His eyes scanned his yard and the street for a moment, looking for the assholes who had decided that ding, dong, ditch was a fun game to play, but it wasn't until he stepped out onto the porch to get a better look that he noticed why someone had rung the doorbell. There was a small package sitting on the doormat. Puck stooped to pick it up and looked suspiciously at the street one more time before he walked back into the house.

The package had been hand delivered, that much was obvious because it was too early for mail and there was no address on the package, no delivery address and no return address. Simply his name. When he flipped the package over to open it he noticed a small note on the bottom of the package._ I never gave this to you. - SS._ He didn't know who _SS_ was, but he was intrigued. He opened up the package. It was easy enough to open, nothing like when his mom sent packages and used an entire role of packaging tape to make sure that even the wolverine wouldn't be able to get into it. He stared at the cd in the purple case that was now sitting in his hand, it had a label so it wasn't a complete mystery, but he couldn't figure out why it had been given to him. The label read, _Spencer ~ piano_. Why had someone delivered this to him?

Puck shook his head and set the cd case on the table. He wasn't going to fall for this. He wasn't going to be this easily manipulated. He wasn't going to rush to his computer and put this cd in to hear what he guessed was Spencer playing the piano. He wasn't ... at least not until he had finished his waffle. It took him two large bites before he had grabbed the case and started up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He quickly made it to his room and threw himself down onto his bed, next to his hibernating computer. He moved his fingers over the mousepad until the computer came to life and he slid the cd into the disc drive. It took a moment before his video player popped up, apparently this was a dvd and not a cd.

Puck raised his eyebrows and clicked the play button. It took a moment, the camera shook, as if the person holding it wasn't as steady handed as they should have been. Puck smiled softly when he recognized the room that was now coming into focus. It was Spencer's basement. And there at the piano was the brunette that had caused him more stress in the last two months than any girl should have. She tucked some of the hair from the wig behind her ear and turned to look at the camera, giggling softly and shaking her head. "What are you doing?" she asked, whoever was holding the camera. "Put that away."

"No," a voice said from off screen as the camera zoomed in on Spencer's face. "I'm going to need this just in case you kick the can tomorrow." Puck swallowed, not quite liking that statement, but not knowing who he could beat up for making it. But Spencer didn't look angry, instead she smiled and shook her head again. "I mean," the off screen voice said again. "If you're going to leave me you might as well leave me with one video to remember your voice by."

"Stop being such a pansy," Spencer chuckled as she turned on the piano bench so that she was facing the piano. She let her fingers brush delicately over the keys. "You give gays a bad name."

"I'm not Kurt," the voice said, moving closer to the piano. "I don't have lady hands, a gay face, and an aversion to boy clothes."

Puck expected Spencer to get mad this time. Whoever this prick was had just insulted one of her best friends. But again, her reaction surprised him. A soft giggle escaped from between her lips and she shook her head, allowing her blue eyes to dart toward the man holding the camera. "You're just jealous of the fact that he's fabulous and you're not. That and you can't have him." The camera moved up and down as if the person holding it was nodding and he told her she was right. She giggled again. "What do you want me to play?" she asked, smiling down at the black and white keys in front of her.

"Play me a love song," the voice said as he moved closer to the piano. There was an unfamiliar noise in the background, kind of a scraping noise. As the camera lowered Puck realized that whoever was holding it had pulled a chair closer to the piano and sat down. "Pretend that you love me, pretend that I'm Noah and sing me a song. Let's say that I'm utterly irresistible and you are only allowed to use your voice to seduce me. And ... go." Puck started at the mention of his name. He quickly rewound the video and replayed that part, making sure that he had heard correctly. He had.

Spencer laughed again and shook her head. "You mean?" she asked, her giggle turning into a familiar smile on her lips. "You want me to pretend that you are interested in me?" The guy behind the camera nodded again, the camera moving with his body and told her _yes ma'am_. Spencer nodded, "Well that will be hard to do considering that I know I'm missing one very important piece of hardware."

"Doesn't matter," the voice behind the camera told her before he demanded that she play him a love song. Spencer nodded and contemplated the keys in front of her for a moment. Puck smiled as he watched her teeth scrape across her bottom lip, biting it like she did when she was nervous or thinking hard about something. The man behind the camera sighed after about a minute, "Anytime," he said in a faux-irritated tone. Spencer told him to shut his mouth before she lifted her hands to the piano keys and began to play.

The melody was soft, slow, and soothing. It took a moment for Puck to realize that he knew it. It was to an Elvis song. He didn't know which one, but he knew it was Elvis because he could have sworn he had heard it at his Nana's house when he was younger and his Nana loved the King to the point that he was the only musician she would listen to. Spencer smiled one more time at the camera before she allowed herself to get lost in the music her fingers were creating. Whoever held the camera stood up from the chair and slowly began to circle the piano. He would continue this throughout the entire song, sometimes focusing on Spencer's face, her back, her feet on the piano pedals, her fingers on the keys. But everything had to do with Spencer. Puck thought it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. And then she began to sing.

She had slowed the tempo of the song down quite a bit. And she had played around with the words themselves. Her pitch, tempo, volume they fluctuated throughout the entire song. Sometimes she held the words for extra beats, sometimes she sang the words in quick, clipped syllables. Sometimes her voice was almost a whisper, hard to hear above the music. But Puck heard and loved every word.

"_Wise men say, only fools rush in_  
><em>Oh, but I can't help, falling in love with you.<em>  
><em>Shall I stay,<em>  
><em>Would it be a sin, oh,<em>  
><em>If I can't help falling in love with you.<em>

_Like a river flows, surely to the sea_  
><em>Darling so it goes,<em>  
><em>Some things are meant to be.<em>  
><em>So take my hand, and take my whole life too,<em>  
><em>Cause I can't help falling in love with you.<em>

_Like a river flows, so surely to the sea,_  
><em>Oh my darling so it goes,<em>  
><em>Some things are meant to be.<em>  
><em>So won't you please, just take my hand,<em>  
><em>And take my whole life too.<em>  
><em>Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you.<em>  
><em>Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love,<em>  
><em>I keep falling in love with you.<em>

_In love with you._"

She had been looking down at the piano throughout the entire song, but as she sang the last four words of the song she allowed her blue eyes to lift off the keys and stare into the camera. Puck quickly paused the video and simply stared at the image in front of him. He recognized that look, he had seen it many times, but he had never realized what it meant. Had never realized that it meant that Spencer loved him. His eyes roved over the picture, taking in every detail from the slight quirk of her eyebrows to the dimples on either side of her soft smile. Once he was sure that he had memorized the picture he pressed play so that he could watch the last few minutes of the video. Spencer's smile became a full blown giggle. "Is that good enough for you, Bas?" she asked as she turned on the piano bench so that she was facing the man holding the camera.

"I think so," the voice said from off camera. "I don't even like your kind, and I found myself wanting to fall in love with you. Very good."

Spencer smiled and held her arms open, silently asking for a hug. There was some rough movement as the camera was set on a tripod before the man who had filmed the video came into view as he walked toward Spencer and the piano. Puck raised his eyebrows when he realized that it was the Sebastian guy from yesterday. He was so playful around Spencer, so different. Sure, he still had his snarky comments and insults, but they seemed softer around the blue-eyed girl. Puck wondered how long they had been hanging out. He watched as Sebastian hugged Spencer before he pulled away from her and settled himself behind her on the piano bench, his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. "You really do love him," he said softly, talking about Puck, and glancing at the camera - giving it a pointed look as if he knew that Puck was watching it. Spencer nodded. The ex-Warbler nodded his head and kissed her on the cheek. "You do know that he feels the same way, right?"

Spencer shrugged, "What if he doesn't?" she asked softly.

-.-.-.-.-

Sebastian took Spencer to her MRI appointment the next day. Stacey had really wanted to go, but she had been called into work and Spencer had told her that it was ridiculous. Normally it took a few days to get the results back so it made no sense for her mother to go and wait while the scans were done. Toby had left for school that morning whispering to her that he would have his phone on vibrate all day and to text him if she needed anything. He still didn't seem to like Sebastian, he didn't trust him not to abandon Spencer at the cancer facility for some reason. She had met Sebastian at the door with a sheepish smile when he came to pick her up. "You really don't have to do this," she said softly, "this isn't like chemo. I'm not going to get sick afterward, I can drive myself." Sebastian had shrugged and told her to stop being an idiot and get in his car.

"I like the smell of hospitals," had been his excuse for wanting to go with her. That had gotten an honest smile out of Spencer. She hadn't smiled at all that morning, but the idea of someone, especially Sebastian Smythe liking the smell of hospitals made her happy. Tracey had gotten her into an MRI scanner fairly quickly and Sebastian had spent the entire hour making jokes through the microphone. It got to the point where Tracey had to tell him to stop or they were going to have to redo the scan. "They're taking you out now," Sebastian said right before the mattress Spencer was laying on began to slide out of the tube again. "Let's hope the magnets rearranged your face. I'm sick of looking at it." Tracey laughed when Spencer came out of the tube with her middle finger in the air.

She followed Spencer to the changing room so that she could change out of the hospital gown while Sebastian went to wait in the waiting room. "What is with you and all the nice boys you bring with you, kiddo?" the nurse asked as she stood outside the curtain. Spencer shook her head and said she had no idea, that she must be some kind of_ good guy magnet_. "You definitely are," Tracey said, shaking her head. "Was Noah busy today?"

"Umm, no," Spencer said, shaking her head and glancing down at the floor as she jumped up and down, pulling her jeans up her legs. "I don't know what he's doing actually. I may have broken up with him after the cancer metastasized. There was too much pressure and I didn't want him to have to stick around when I just continued to get sicker and sicker. That's not fair to ask of him."

"But it was fair to ask him to stay away and have no idea what's going on with you?" Tracey asked, quirking her eyebrows as she watched the young woman walk out from behind the curtains. Spencer shrugged and admitted that it probably wasn't fair, but she couldn't do it. "What if you got better?" Tracey asked curious.

Spencer shrugged again. "I'd want him back," she admitted in a soft whisper. "If he'd take me."

They lucked out that day. It didn't honestly take MRI and x-ray scans three days to deliver the results. It was that the hospital needed a radiologist to interpret the results and they usually stopped by every two to three days to look at all of the scans since their last visit. Henderson had known that Spencer and her family were impatient for the results so she had scheduled Spencer's MRI on the day that the radiologist visited the clinic. So instead of waiting days Spencer was given the option of simply waiting for half an hour. She glanced at Sebastian with raised eyebrows, silently asking if he wanted to wait a half hour so that they could find out the results before they left. Sebastian had smiled at his friend and grabbed her hand, giving it a light squeeze. "Fine by me," he breathed.

So they sat in the waiting room playing Go Fish until Tracey walked out to bring Spencer to Henderson's office so they could look at the results. Spencer had tried to call her mother to let her know they were going to get the results early, but her mom hadn't picked up. Sebastian had been planning to wait in the waiting room, but when he saw the scared look fly across the girl's face when Tracey walked into the waiting room he had nodded and stood up, holding his hand out to her and silently telling her that he wasn't going anywhere if she needed him. Spencer stared at his outstretched hand for a moment before she nodded and grabbed his hand. She swallowed the lump in her throat before leading the way into the office.

* * *

><p>Authors's Note:<br>Hey guys,  
>First of all let me say I'm sorry that this took so long to get out.<br>Unfortunately, I have like 2.5 weeks left of college and suddenly everything is due and I barely have time to think let alone update (check out note on my profile page) So, I'm trying to promise at least one update every week (probably on the weekend) until all the craziness dies down. Anything else will be extra and probably based on your responses to the previous chapter.  
>Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter! I kind of loved it and I love the next one even more.<br>I swear, you guys are going to love me so much soon.  
>Please, please, please send me <strong>review<strong> **love** that stuff is like drugs for me! I love it.  
>I'll see you back here soon.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

This wasn't going to get published until like this weekend ... but you guys spoiled me with reviews so I figured I would return the favor and spoil you!

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><p>Puck took a deep breath as he pulled his truck into Spencer's driveway. She was home because her car was there and so was another car, he assumed that it was Sebastian's because it seemed that she was spending a lot of time with him recently. His fists clenched at that thought for a moment, but he shook his head and forced himself to calm down ... Sebastian was gay, he had nothing to worry about when it came to him and Spencer. He had to continue reminding himself of that fact when a minute later, after he rang the doorbell the door swung open to reveal Sebastian standing in the entrance way. "Puckerman," Sebastian said with a nod and a smile that didn't look surprised at all. "After my delivery this morning I had a feeling that we'd be seeing you today."<p>

Puck's eyes narrowed for a moment before he forced himself to calm down. "Yeah," he said with a nod as he walked into the house. "Wanted to ask about that." Sebastian shook his head and hissed that Puck couldn't ask about it because Sebastian hadn't given him anything. Puck shook his head, this guy obviously liked playing games and that was something Puck didn't have the time or patience for. "Can I see Spencer?" he asked, instinctively heading toward the stairs because the girl was probably in her bedroom.

"Sure," Sebastian said with a nod. "But you won't find her up there." Puck turned around to look at the smaller boy, his eyebrows raised as he waited to hear where he would find Spencer. "She's in the kitchen," Sebastian continued, turning around and walking down the hallway toward the back of the house. Puck followed him, finally noticing the noises coming from the kitchen, there were dishes clanging around and the sound of people talking. Spencer and Sebastian weren't the only people here? But that didn't make any sense because a moment later Puck began to recognize the voices in the kitchen ... and there was no way they were all back in Lima.

"Wait what?" Rachel asked, her voice sounding weird as though it weren't actually in the kitchen.

"Shrinking!" He heard Spencer all but yell before there was a thud and a crash of dishes. Puck was still too far away from the room to be sure, but he had an image in his head of Spencer landing on the floor with a bunch of dishes falling out of her hands as she went down. He smiled and shook his head.

"Sweetie?" he heard Kurt ask, his voice filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," Spencer said with a happy sounding giggle. "The tumors are shrinking. Slowly, but they're shrinking. I'm getting better. We're keeping up with the chemo every week, but it's going away. A little fall doesn't even matter right now."

And then suddenly everything clicked in Puck's head. The smile on Sebastian's face when he answered the door, the voices in the kitchen, the happy tone to Spencer's voice, and finally the words she was saying ... her tumors were shrinking. She was slowly beating the cancer. And then he was no longer walking behind Sebastian on the way to the kitchen, but he was running the last couple yards until he was standing in the doorway.

Spencer hadn't noticed him yet, her back was turned to him and the computer that the voices were coming from. She was at the counter, cutting what looked like vegetables. She was cooking something. Kurt and Rachel were cheering and squealing and talking at what seemed like a mile a minute in high pitched excited voices. There was so much going on that it took a moment for anything to really make sense to Puck. Spencer was Skyping with their friends so that she could tell them about her MRI results. A lower voice joined in with Kurt and Rachel's celebration. "I got here as soon as I could. What'd I miss?" Puck smiled when he recognized Mike Chang's voice, Spencer had probably texted all the New York kids to get to Rachel and Kurt's place so that they could all Skype at once.

"Mikey!" Spencer cheered, spinning around so that she could face the computer again, but still not noticing Puck. "I'm getting better!" Mike chuckled and told Spencer that he was so happy for her. Spencer nodded a few times before she caught sight of Puck. Her blue eyes widened in surprise as everything about her seemed to freeze. Puck heard Sebastian chuckle behind him before the smaller boy raised his hand to wave at Spencer and then he turned and left the house. Spencer barely registered that Sebastian had left, too busy staring at Puck. But after a moment she shook her head and took a step closer to him. "Noah?" she breathed out, still in shock that he was standing in her kitchen. And then she was no longer frozen or in shock. She was running toward him, giving Puck only a moment to prepare himself before she had leapt into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his familiar scent for a moment as she tried to figure out what to say to him.

Puck wrapped his arms under Spencer's butt so that he could hold her up and buried his head in the wig hair. It smelled like Spencer's hair used to, she must have washed the wig with the same shampoo she used to use on her hair, but it bothered him that it wasn't real, it wasn't her real hair. He reached up one of his hands and pulled the wig off her head, letting his hand smooth over the soft skin before he began to press soft kisses over each bit of skin he could reach. He was happy to note that Spencer didn't pull away or try to push him away. He liked that. Their moment was ruined a moment later when Rachel's voice called from the computer on the other side of the kitchen. "Noah Puckerman," the girl called. "I understand that you must be as excited as we are, but you get to see Spencer every day. We don't. So would you please bring her back here so that we can at least see her?"

Spencer laughed and shook her head before she unwrapped her legs from around Puck's waist and allowed her body to slide back down to the floor. She smiled at him and started to walk back toward the counter. Puck reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from getting too far away from him. Spencer bit her lip and tilted her head so that she could look at him from under her thick lashes. Puck sighed, she knew what that look did to people, right? He wrapped his arm around her, tucking her closer to him before he started to walk toward the computer. Spencer sighed in what sounded like contentment before she wrapped her arm around Puck's hips and allowed him to steer her back to the computer. They still hadn't said a word to each other, hadn't talked about what it meant now that Spencer was healthy again. Hadn't even talked to each other about whether or not they regretted when Spencer had ended things. And yet, despite how much they hadn't talked about Puck was happy. And so was Spencer, both of them felt as if things were finally going to get better. Puck heard a gasp when they finally came to stand in front of the computer and he figured it had t do with him so he waved at his three friends, but it was Mike and Kurt who finally clued him into why Rachel was so surprised.

Mike let out a low, surprised whistle. Kurt nodded as if he was proud of Spencer. "Bald looks good on you, Babe," he said with a smile. "I just wish that Blaine was here to see it."

Spencer smiled sheepishly and reached up to rub her hand over her bald head. "Thanks Kurt," she said softly, a pretty pink blush rising on her cheeks. "Seb ..." she started to say Sebastian, but quickly cut herself off, realizing that this crowd would not be too pleased with her friend. "One of my friends shaved it for me when my hair started to fall out. I was so not going to rock the spotted look." The others smiled when they realized that Spencer's hair loss hadn't been a scary experience, but rather one that she had chosen for herself. Puck felt as though he had been punched in the gut when he realized that he hadn't been there to support Spencer when she had gone through it. Instead she had had to rely on Sebastian Smythe.

"So are you guys dating again?" Rachel asked, getting straight to the chase and allowing her eyes to dart between her two friends in Lima.

Spencer's blush darkened, as if she had been praying that no one would ask that question because she didn't know how to answer it. She bit her lip again and turned her head so that she could look up at Puck, her eyes full of questions. Puck shrugged before turning his head so that his nose was practically touching Spencer's. The blush still sitting on her cheeks and the small rise at the corners of her mouth told him that she still wanted to date him. Besides, he had the dvd Sebastian had made him where she admitted that she might love him. He leaned forward the smallest bit more so that his nose was pressing against Spencer's. "Still mine?" he breathed softly, not even caring that their friends were watching or that he was giving Mike full license to call him a pussy later on. Spencer stopped biting her lip only to scrape her teeth over it again as if she was confused. He wanted to ask her again, but he simply nodded, trying to wait patiently for her to make up her mind.

And then, a few seconds later he was so glad that he had been patient and hadn't pushed her into coming up with an answer right away. Because the corners of her lips turned up in a happy smile and her eyes began to sparkle, not because of tears, but because she was happy. She nodded and stood on her tip toes so that she could press her lips against Puck's in a chaste kiss before she lowered herself back down. "Still yours," she breathed as she wrapped her arms around his hips and rested her forehead against his chest. Puck smiled down at her for a moment before he bent his neck, pressing one more kiss onto the top of her head before he pulled away. He nodded toward the computer in front of them, silently reminding her of their friends. Spencer's blush deepened as she turned to look at her friends. Mike was laughing at them and shaking his head while Kurt and Rachel looked like they were about to start cooing about how cute that was.

Spencer glanced at Puck for a moment, sending a wink in his direction before turning back to her computer. "Umm," she said, clearing her throat and forcing herself to make eye contact with her friends. "I guess I'll talk to you guys soon?" she asked. Her eyes darted back to Puck. "I have lots of things to do before my mom gets home."

"I'll bet you do," Kurt muttered, his eyes darting to look at Puck as well. Spencer blushed even more. Kurt chuckled. "Don't worry, Spence," he said, "we all knew that was coming." He smiled at the girl for a moment before he shook his head, a soft smile resting on his lips. "I'm so happy for you," he added. "I love you, and we'll talk soon. Text me later tonight." Spencer nodded and told everyone she loved them before ending the chat and logging out of Skype.

"The other's will be texting or calling soon," she whispered as she stepped into Puck's arms again. "I told them to get on Skype as soon as they could. They're going to call my phone when they get on and I'm not there." Puck nodded, but he didn't say anything. He opted for silently slipping his hand under her chin and gently forcing her face up until he was able to kiss her lips. Spencer smiled into the kiss for a moment, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "I missed this," she breathed against his lips a moment later. Puck smiled at her confession and allowed his tongue to dart out of his mouth, swiping softly across her bottom lip. Spencer opened her mouth slightly to let Puck deepen the kiss, but the moment his tongue slipped into her mouth her phone began to ring. He groaned and pulled away from, her, letting his forehead rest against hers. Spencer giggled and shook her head, "That's Santana's ringtone," she said softly, reaching out to grab her phone off the counter without leaving Puck's arms. Puck smirked at the song choice, _Crazy Bitch_ by Buckcherry, it was a fitting choice. She raised the phone to her ear and answered the call. "Hey, San."

"_What are you doing, baby girl?_" Santana asked. Spencer shrugged although her friend couldn't see the movement and told her that she really wasn't doing anything. "_Well I know that's bull. I guess I should ask who are you doing, baby girl?_"

Spencer sighed, and glanced up to look at Puck, the blush resurfacing on her cheeks. Puck smirked down at her before he lowed his head and kissed her cheek. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you already know who I'm not doing, but is standing in my kitchen right now. Who told you? Kurt?"

"_Rachel actually. Texted me before you had even logged off Skype. And did I teach you nothing in high school? You've got a gorgeous man in your kitchen and you guys aren't naked yet? Waste of a handsome man and from what I hear a healthier body if you ask me._" Spencer smiled into the phone as she stepped out of Puck's arms and asked Santana if Rachel had told her that the tumors were shrinking too. "_That would be Kurt. You know there are no secrets between us ... except when you were keeping the cancer a secret from us, that is._"

"And did Mike tell you anything?" Spencer asked, lifting her right shoulder so that she could hold her phone to her ear without using her hand. She hadn't been lying when she told Kurt, Rachel, and Mike that she had a lot to do before her mother and Toby got home. She was cooking a celebratory dinner and dessert (Red velvet cake from scratch) for them. "Or is he the only innocent one in the whole group?"

"_Heard you were bald too,_" Santana said, laughter in her voice as she answered Spencer's question. Spencer smiled at her friend's behavior. They seemed as excited as she was about all of this. It felt good to be this loved. "_I bet you look wonderful, Gorgeous._" Spencer chuckled at her friend's confidence that she didn't have a weird shaped head that looked weird bald.

"Seb likes to call me Voldemort," she breathed before she realized what she had said. She bit her lips and glanced over to Puck, as if silently asking him to help her undig that hole. But Puck simply smirked at her and moved closer, placing a light peppering of kisses along the tendon in her neck. Spencer leaned her head against his chest to give him better access and before she could stop it a soft moan had escaped her lips.

Santana had been about to ask who Seb was, but she giggled at the sound on the other end of the phone. "_Well I can see that you're about to get busy_," she giggled. "_Good for you Baby, finally taking a page out of Auntie Tana's book. Have fun, don't get pregnant ... I heard chemo doesn't mix well with pregnancies. And call me when you can. Love you._"

Spencer smiled as she forced herself to step out of Puck's arms. "Love you too, Santana," she said with a giggle before she hung up the phone and turned to glare at Puck. "That wasn't nice, Puckerman," she breathed, frowning as she placed her hands on her hips and attempted to look angry at the man. Puck smiled and moved closer to her, kissing her lips. The glare disappeared.

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer and Puck were cuddling on the couch in the living room watching Grey's Anatomy (not exactly Puck's first choice, but he wasn't about to deny Spencer anything) when Toby got home from school. He walked past the living room, not even noticing his sister and Puck and made his way to the kitchen. Spencer turned her head, nestling it closer to his chest so that she could look out in the hallway toward the kitchen. Puck looked down at the girl, a soft smile on his lips as he watched her eyes light up in excitement. "Did you tell him yet?" he asked softly, not wanting to ruin the surprise if she hadn't. Spencer shook her head, her smile growing wider as she heard Toby start walking back toward the living room.

"It smells good in here, Spence," her brother called, walking past the living room again, not noticing his sister again. He started walking toward the stairs to bring his backpack up to his bedroom. "You don't cook unless you're in a good mood," he added, pausing on the stairs as he thought about what kind of good news his sister could have gotten. "No way," he breathed softly, turning his head, "Spence?" he called. "Where are you?" Spencer turned her head into Puck's chest and pressed a kiss onto it through his shirt before calling to her brother and telling him that she was in the living room. Toby walked toward the living room, faster this time, with purpose. "What's got you in such a good mood, Spence?" he asked as he walked into the room. "Hey Puck," he added with a nod, not really seeming to notice. He paused, turning his head back toward Puck for a moment. "Is this why you're cooking?" he asked, pointing at Puck, happy to see them together again.

Spencer shook her head, biting her lip to keep her smile hidden. "Well I mean, Noah is pretty great and I'm glad he's back, but I was cooking before he got here. Honestly I didn't know that he was coming here at all." Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised and wondering why Puck had showed up at their house. Puck hadn't been around too much recently, Toby hadn't asked Spencer about it because he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings. But to be honest, Spencer was a lot happier when Puck was around and he liked that. Spencer giggled at her brother's confusion. "Well," she breathed softly, sitting up a bit so that she could look at her brother properly. "Aren't you going to ask me how the MRI appointment went?" she asked, her eyes darting to look at Puck for a happy moment, sending him a wink.

Toby shook his head, his confusion showing on his face at this point. "Why would I ask about that?" he asked glancing at his sister as if he thought she was on drugs. "You won't get your results until later this ..." he stopped as he watched Spencer's smile grow as he continued to talk about her MRI results. "You got them today?" he yelled, unable to contain his excitement. Spencer nodded. "And?" Toby asked, impatient now that he knew he was about to get good news. Spencer smiled and squeezed Puck's hand before telling her brother that the tumors were shrinking, slowly but they were getting smaller. "Why didn't you text me?" Toby asked as he moved forward and grabbed his sister, pulling her off the couch so that he could wrap his arms around her. "That definitely would have been enough of a reason for me to skip the rest of the day!" he added as he twirled his sister in a circle. He put her back on the ground, pressing excited kisses all over the top of her bald head. "Have you told mom yet?"

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around her younger brother's waist and buried her head in the crook of his neck, just inhaling him. "But I did call Zach, he knows. I was planning on telling Mom at dinner tonight. And seeing if we can call Dad tomorrow or something." Puck watched as Toby buried his head into his sister's shoulder, it took him a while to realize that Toby's shoulders were shaking because he was happy. He could understand why Toby was crying, but he also understood that this was a private moment. He stood up from the couch, catching Spencer's eye over her brother's shoulder and smiling at her. He could see the tears sparkling in her eyes as she nodded slightly, lifting one of her hands off her brother's back just enough to blow him a kiss. Puck's smile widened before he grabbed his jacket and left the house.

They would have plenty of time to celebrate Spencer's getting better later. He smiled to himself as he climbed in his truck and realized that her getting better wasn't the only thing they would get to celebrate. They would also get to celebrate the fact that they had gotten back together. That was almost as good to hear as when she told him her tumors were shrinking.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>And there you go, guys! Who's happy? I am!  
>I hope that you guys liked this chapter (you should review to let me know!)<br>I'd like to give a shout out to those of you that did review on the last chapter because I'm in that kind of mood today.  
><em>Dalonega Noquisi<em>: I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter (and I take the fact that you thought the part with Sebastian and Spencer as genius that I have won you over to my little Sebastian Smythe fanclub... you can't argue, I won't allow it!)  
><em>Can We Call Them Spuck<em>: First of all ... your review my dear is probably the funniest review I have ever read. You're amazing. Second of all is **Spuck** Spencer and Puck? Because if so, yes - we can call them Spuck.  
><em>Katastrophe101:<em> Don't worry, you're not a bad reader and hey you're back now which is always good! (I have to admit that I love Spencer and Sebastian too ... I think he's going to be gone for a bit, but he's definitely going to be making a comeback soon. I love the Merekat too much.) And thank you ... I'm really excited for graduation, I've got to admit.  
><em>Quattrolove<em>: Baby, darling, I loved your review. Honestly, if anything this chapter is for you my dear. And I am so, so, **so** glad that this story is kind of a catharsis for you. I'm sorry about your loved one, but I'm really happy that I can help out in any way I can. (And don't worry, you didn't put any pressure on me besides to make me more determined to give this story a happy ending.) And I'm so glad that you like Sebastian (are you another new member to my Sebastian Smythe fanclub?) and Spencer too ... she 's been troublesome, trying to make sure she's not too cliched or Mary Sueish. Anyway, thank you for your review, my dear and I hope you liked this chapter too.  
>And that's all for now. I'll see you back here soon!<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>It was Stacey who actually put the idea in Puck's head. He had always planned on thinking about finishing his degree. He had gotten an associate's degree from Lima Community College and he had always planned on transferring to a four-year school to complete his bachelor's degree. But there had never been an actual date, it had always just been vague ...<em> in the future<em> that wasn't happening any time soon. He had always been sure of the fact that he didn't want to spend his entire life working at the garage, but he was in no hurry to leave Lima yet. Especially now that he and Spencer were together and she was getting better. He couldn't honestly imagine leaving now. But Stacey had put the idea in his head one warm day in late February. Spencer had somehow convinced him to take her on a picnic and he was waiting in the living room for her to come downstairs when Stacey walked past the doorway on her way upstairs. "Noah," the older blonde said, flashing him a smile that was almost as pretty as her daughter's. "I didn't know that you were going to be coming over today," she continued, walking further into the room. "What does Spencer have planned for you this afternoon?"

Puck smiled at her, trying not to let on how much he liked that she took the time to come talk to him and not just say hi from the hallway or ignore his presence as many of his ex girlfriends' moms would have treated him. "She wants me to take her on a picnic," he said with a chuckle as he shook his head. "Said something about how nice it was outside and it would be a shame not to spend the day outside and swinging. I think your daughter likes to swing more than a five-year-old, Mrs. Anderson."

Stacey smiled at him as she sat down in a chair next to the couch and told him to call her_ Stacey_. "Whenever people call me Mrs. Anderson I turn my head expecting to see my mother-in-law," she said with a musical laugh, leaving no doubt in Puck's mind as to who Spencer got her musical talent from. "And trust me, that woman ... God love her, she was scary." Puck chuckled politely before asking her what she was doing that afternoon. Stacey shrugged and said something about how she might try to get some work done and Puck was struck by how relaxed she seemed. He had never seen her look this comfortable, he was sure it had something to do with Spencer's health. As if, now that Spencer was getting better Stacey did not have to spend all of her time and energy fighting the world. "Spencer once told me that you were going to get your bachelor's degree," Stacey said softly after a moment. "Have you put anymore thought into that?"

Puck shrugged his shoulders. "To be honest, no I haven't. I mean, I know I want to one day. But I'm not sure if now is the right time," his eyes darted up to the ceiling as if he thought he would be able to see through the ceiling and floorboards to check on Spencer and make sure she was okay. He nodded, "I'll know when the time is right and then I'll start applying."

Stacey nodded, "I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you disappear," she said softly, warning Puck that he might not like what she was about to say. "What you're doing for Spencer is ... I will always be grateful to you for it. I don't think I've ever seen her more hopeful or happy, but I want you to think about you and your future as well. Spencer would agree with me," she sent the mohawked boy in front of her a pointed look when he shook his head. "You know that she would," the blonde said with a nod. "She wouldn't want you to put your future on hold just for her, just because she's sick. She'd want you to apply for school, she'd probably even help you with the applications. She's all about living life to the fullest these days," Stacey's smile in Puck's direction told him that she attributed her daughter's change in attitude to him. "And I know that it's not my place to push you, but application deadlines are coming up. I would hate for you to miss a deadline and have to wait. You might regret it."

Puck didn't know what to say to that. But it turned out that he didn't need to say anything. Stacey reached out and clasped her hand over his for a brief moment, giving it a gentle squeeze before she stood up from her chair and headed back to the stairs. She told him that she would try to hurry Spencer up before she disappeared. Puck nodded and settled back into the couch, preparing to continue waiting for a bit longer, but whatever Stacey did must have worked because Spencer came running down the stairs not even a minute later. Puck smiled and stood up, holding out his arms for a hug when she skipped into the room. His smile grew she stepped into his arms, a knit cap covering her bald head, no wig. As much as Noah Puckerman had always loved hair, he liked that Spencer was trying to own her cancer ... she had spent too long trying to hide it as far as Puck was concerned. "Hi," Spencer greeted with a cheeky grin as she tilted her head up, chin resting on his chest, so that she could look at him.

"Hi," Puck returned as he bent his head down to place a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. He pulled away, chuckling when he noticed the way she wrinkled her nose in disappointment when he stopped kissing her. He sighed and bent his head down again, kissing her once more, just as light, before he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "How are you feeling today?" he asked, using his fingers to keep her chin where it was when she tried to look away. "Really?"

Spencer wrinkled her nose again before she smiled at him. "I'm fine," she said, reaching her hand behind her back so that she could grab his hand, intertwining their fingers. "Really. I'm just glad you're here. And nervous about tomorrow ... which is stupid, chemo really isn't anything new to me. I shouldn't be nervous. But mostly I'm glad. And fine. I'm glad and fine." Puck nodded before telling her that he was glad to hear that she was _glad and fine_. Spencer smiled up at him, a soft giggle escaping her lips. "Are you ready to go?" she asked, turning her body so that her back was facing him and she could pull him toward the front door. "We're wasting daylight."

"I've been ready," Puck said with a chuckle as he shook his head and followed Spencer out of the house. "I was waiting for you to get your cute ass downstairs." He rushed to beat Spencer to his truck so that he could open the passenger door for her and help her into the truck. Spencer laughed when she saw the picnic basket sitting in the middle seat. Puck nodded. "Ma packed it for us," he said before he shut the door and rushed to the driver's side so that they could get started. "It's going to be kosher, hope that's okay with you." Spencer smiled and shrugged, before she told him that it was perfect. "So where are we going?" Puck asked, unsure of where Spencer wanted to have her picnic.

Spencer shrugged, "Where's the closest playground?" she asked him, rolling down the window so that she could stick her hand out into the warm air. "Because I'm hungry and I want to get on a swing set as soon as possible."

-.-.-.-.-

They stayed on the swing set for an hour just talking. They didn't really bring up anything important, just talked. But it was probably the most fun that Puck had had since shortly after New Years. Once Spencer had had enough of the swings she had jumped off of them and run back to Puck's truck so that she could grab the picnic basket and the blanket from the seat and they could start their picnic. Puck sat on his swing, one hand wrapped around the chain as he watched her spread the blanket out on the ground and start unpacking the food. He smiled at her, just happy that he had her in his life again. Not that he was going to tell her or anyone else that. Once all the food had been unpacked she called him over and they ate and talked, once again not really bringing up anything important.

When they had finished eating Puck had packed up the leftover food and then he laid down on the blanket, stretching out before he lifted one of his hands, beckoning Spencer to come lay next to him. She smiled at him and laid down on her side, cuddling into him and resting her head on his chest. She turned her torso so that her chest was pressed against his, kissing his chest through his shirt before rolling back onto her side. He smiled, honestly comfortable, as he lifted his hand off of the blanket and let it stroke her back, light fingers following the line of her spine. Spencer let out a contented sigh before she closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. Puck continued to stoke her spine, his fingers hesitating at the bottom where he knew the tumor was. He wished that he could see it, or at least feel it, so that he knew what the thing looked like. He hated it and it bothered him that he didn't even know what the thing looked like. "Here," Spencer said softly, eyes still closed. She reached up and grabbed Puck's hand, moving it an inch to the left. Puck thought that she wanted him to rub her back there, but then he paused, suddenly realizing why she had moved his hand.

There was a lump under her skin, just to the left of her spine. It was hard, not squishy, it didn't give like skin normally did. And when he pressed it Spencer let out a small gasp of pain. Puck brushed his fingers over the lump softly, silently apologizing for causing her pain while his brain interpreted what was going on. And then it clicked, this was the tumor. She had guessed what he was thinking about when she felt his hesitation and she had shown him where it was. He lifted her shirt slightly, just enough that he could see the skin above the lump. And suddenly he was able to see it. He could honestly see the lump, it didn't look big at all, it was hardly noticeable, but it was there. "It's so small," he said softly, his fingers brushing over the small expanse of skin again. Spencer nodded, telling him that it sucked that it was so small in a rueful tone. Apparently she could forgive its intrusion on her body if it were larger, but the fact that it was small just added insult to injury. Puck continued to brush his fingers over the tumor silently for a few minutes longer. "What are you going to do?" he asked, the thought of college in the back of his head as his eyes swept over Spencer's face, taking in her reaction to his question. "When you finally beat this. What are you going to do?"

Spencer smiled, eyes still closed as she rolled over onto her back, her head still resting on Puck's chest. "I'm going to travel," she whispered, opening one of her eyes so that she could see Puck's grin. "I'm going to go everywhere. Machu Picchu, Alaska, Hawaii, Paris ... I want to see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, and the Louvre. I'll go to Spain, Egypt, Italy and England. Germany, and if I have the time and the money I'll even go to Australia ... I've always wanted to see a kangaroo up close and personal." Puck smiled down at her, taking note of the blissful look on her face. She had a bucket list apparently. "I might go to Africa, feed hungry children," Spencer said with a shrug. "Once I'm done traveling. You know, pay it forward." She tilted her head back so that she could look at Puck. "What about you?" she asked softly, her blue eyes darting over his face. Puck shrugged and pointed out that he didn't have any cancer to beat. Spencer shook her head. "No," she said, biting her lip as if she was nervous. "What are you going to do once my cancer isn't holding you back, keeping you in Lima, Ohio?"

Puck shrugged. "College, I guess," he said, trying to sound nonchalant about it. He didn't want Spencer to think that she was holding him back or something. He would go to college when he was ready. Granted, he knew he wouldn't be ready until he knew that she was better. "Like real college, not just Lima Community." He expected to see Spencer frowning at him, not liking the idea of him leaving Lima, or her. But when he glanced down at her she had rolled onto her stomach again so that her chin was resting on his chest. And she was grinning excitedly up at him.

"What would you want to study?" she asked him, her grin never leaving her face as she tilted her head down to place an openmouthed kiss on his chest through his shirt. "You don't seem like the lawyer type or the doctor type ... I could see you majoring in ... I'm not sure actually. What would you do, Noah?"

Puck smiled, although he hadn't given much thought to applying for college or where he would want to go. He knew what he wanted to do. "I took this intro to architecture course last year. I thought it was just going to be an interesting class ... something to pass the time, but I really liked it. And the instructor said I was really good at it." He looked down to see if he was boring Spencer, but she was still smiling at him. She asked him what kind of buildings he would want to design. "Houses, I think," he said with a nod. "I like the idea that people would actually be living in the buildings I design, not just working in them. And at the moment there's a better market for private buildings. And if I'm good at it I could take some of the money I earned to design other houses for lower income families. You know, so that people like my mom who don't have a spouse and are raising their children alone can have a nicer place without having to spend their entire life working."

Spencer stared at him with wide eyes. She had always known that deep down Puck cared about other people. Even if he didn't like admitting it. But this was a side of him that she had never seen before. Puck glanced down at her, he looked nervous, as if he was worried that he had said something wrong. She smiled up at him. "Noah Puckerman," she whispered, slowly inching up his body until her lips were hovering above his. "I don't think that you have ever looked this attractive to me."

"That's good," Puck said, his voice deep and rough as he craned his neck to make contact with Spencer's lips. "Because you always look this attractive to me." Spencer smiled before pressing her lips to Puck's and kissing him. It was just a light peck, sweet and innocent. But Puck had missed being able to just kiss her so much that his body reacted before he could stop it. He chose to blame his reaction on the fact that her body was pressed against his, he could feel every movement and was very aware of how thin both their shirts were. Spencer laughed when she felt Puck's hips buck up into hers. Puck groaned when she rolled off of him to lay on her back next to him on the blanket. "Can you really blame me?" he asked her, rolling onto his side and propping his chin in his hand as his eyes swept over her body, pausing on the strip of bare skin where her shirt had ridden up. "Besides that day in your kitchen I haven't kissed anyone since before you broke up with me."

Spencer's eyebrows rose. "You didn't hook up with anyone during that month we weren't together?" she asked, obvious surprise tinting her voice. "That's why I defriended you on Facebook, I was worried about what I would see."

Puck shook his head. "I won't lie to you," he said, tilting his chin so that he could look at Spencer's face, judge how she was reacting to what he was about to tell her. "I tried." Her jaw clenched and she bit her lip, but she nodded, she had expected this. "It didn't work though," Puck continued, a grin spreading across his face as he watched the hope flood into Spencer's blue eyes. He leaned down so that he could press a kiss onto the tip of her nose. "Because they all reminded me of you. One was brunette, the other had a tattoo, blue eyes, freckles, one was about your height, one dressed kind of like you, the last one had a nose."

Spencer, whose smiled had faded the tiniest bit with every mention of a new girl stared at him for a few seconds as if she had no idea what to do with the list of girls before her smile came back and she started to giggle. "You turned down one girl because she had a nose?" she asked, giggling harder as she rolled into Puck's side and allowed him to tuck her under his arm. Puck nodded as if it was an important thing. Spencer shook her head, nuzzling her nose into Puck's side. "Well I guess I didn't have to worry about you finding someone you liked better than me. Girls without noses are kind of hard to come by."

Puck nodded, pressing a kiss onto the top of Spencer's hat covered head. "Believe me, I know ... I tried to find one. The night you broke up with me I got really drunk and once I got home I got online ... according to my google history I spent a good deal of time looking for girls without noses." Spencer smiled and asked him if he had found any. Puck shrugged, "Don't know, but if I did I probably thought they were ugly. I'm pretty attached to noses, especially yours. It's a really nice nose." Spencer smiled and tilted her head up so that he could kiss the nose in question. Puck didn't say anything to Spencer because she was the girl in the relationship, not him, but that afternoon would probably become his favorite memory of them.

It was nice to just be. To be together, having fun and relaxing. Teasing each other and talking about the future. They didn't talk about her cancer, they didn't worry about anything, they didn't talk about concretes or anything that could really hurt the other person. They just talked and had fun and cuddled. And went back to swing on the swing set ... it seemed that Spencer could not get enough of the damn swing set. Puck wouldn't have changed a thing about that afternoon.

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer brought her car to the garage the next day. Puck smiled at her and shook his head as he walked out to her car. "My boss is here today," he said softly, once she had rolled down the driver's window. "You can't come in, I have to look like I'm actually working."

Spencer raised her eyebrows as she looked around the garage. There were two cars parked inside, but neither of them looked like they had been worked on that day. "What if I actually have something wrong with my car?" she asked, winking at the mohawked boy who was standing outside her car.

Puck chuckled and told her to get out of her car so that he could drive it into the garage. "I'll take a look," he said, speaking to her through the open window as he put the car in drive. "But ten bucks says that you're just being a girl and there's nothing wrong with your car."

Spencer smiled at him for a moment, "I'll take that bet," she said, her smile changing to a smirk before gesturing that he should drive the car into the garage. She walked behind the car, carefully sticking to the edges of the garage where non employees were allowed to walk. She smiled when she made it to the mechanic's bench and greeted Puck's boss, Tommy.

"Miss Spencer," Tommy said with a nod, winking at the small girl when she smiled at his southern twang. "I was wondering when you would be back here bothering my staff. It's been a while since you've been around here." Spencer smiled and made some excuse about being really busy while Puck lifted the hood of her car to see what was going on. He glanced over at Tommy and watched the two interact Spencer didn't know that Tommy knew about her cancer. He went to the same Temple that Puck's family went to and his mother had put Spencer on the prayer list a couple weeks ago. He figured that Tommy was being nice to Spencer because of that, because he usually had a pretty cranky disposition.

Once he was sure that Tommy was neither going to kick Spencer out or insult her until she cried Puck turned back to her car. It didn't take him long to figure out what was wrong with the car though. "Spence?" he called over his shoulder, trying not to start laughing until he had heard her explanation. "Tommy, come here and look at this car." Once both of them had made their way over to Puck he pointed at the fan belt, "Do you see that?" he asked, turning his head to look at Tommy.

"What?" Spencer asked, sounding curious although Puck had a feeling that she knew exactly what they were looking at.

Tommy nodded, "I've never seen one so beat up before." He turned to fix Spencer with a stern look. "What have you done to your car?" he asked before turning to Puck and telling him that he would go look in the back and see if they had any new ones in the back. "I'd hate to have to make her wait until we can order one and get it this afternoon," he said with a smirk as he headed toward the back of the garage.

Spencer sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Will you please tell me what's wrong with my car?" she asked, trying to sound exasperated. Puck pointed toward her fan belt, it was all cut up and damaged looking. He said that he couldn't figure out what had happened to it. Spencer bit her lip for a moment, looking sheepish. Puck raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to answer his question. She sighed again. "Okay," she said, "I looked up online things that could happen to your car that were kind of bad, but relatively inexpensive and you could still drive your car if it went wrong. The fan belt popped up. So I found a diagram online and kind of took a screwdriver and a hammer to my fan belt."

"Why would you do that?" Puck asked, grinning because he knew exactly why she had done it.

"Because I wanted to see you," Spencer said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Puck grinned at her and resisted the urge to kiss her. He was happy that he resisted that urge because thirty seconds later Tommy walked back onto the floor.

"Well Miss Spencer," he said in his loose southern drawl, "It doesn't look like we have any fan belts for your model in stock. I'll put in an order for one right now and you'll just have to wait here with Puckerman until it comes in." He nodded to Puck, "I'll be going home to my mrs. after I place the order. Make sure you finish changing the hummer's oil and check the spark plugs on the honda." Puck nodded. Smiling as Tommy tipped his hat to Spencer and walked away from them.

He knew for a fact that they had a fan belt for Spencer's model in the back because he had stocked it himself. Tommy wasn't as much of a ball buster as he had thought.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>So this chapter was just some cute, fun Spencer and Puck fluff. But I hope you liked it despite that.  
>You should review to let me know. Seriously, reviews are like air for me... they keep me going.<br>So if you liked it **review**_._ If you loved it **review**. If you've been reading for a while and haven't yet** review**.  
>I love to hear from you.<br>Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, please keep it up. The support is amazing.  
><em>Quattrolove: <em>Hopefully you're not still writing your dissertation. I would hate to distract you again. :D But I'm really glad that the last chapter made you so happy! And the fact that you haven't been so invested in a story since Lord of the Rings (as a fellow Tolkien reader, let me say I understand just how **big** that is) ... are you trying to make me cry from all the praise? As for making it into a book do you mean printing out each chapter so you can carry it around? Because if so, I have no problem with you doing that. Go ahead, honestly I'd be honored that you liked it that much to do so. Thank you for asking though. I hope you liked this chapter too!  
><em>Dalonega Noquisi: <em>I know what you mean. When I first started typing them getting back together I was worried that it was going to be harder than that. But then I realized there was no need for it to be hard. They both loved each other, they hadn't broken up because they didn't or someone had cheated. They broke up because Spencer loved him so much that she didn't want to make things harder on him. So their getting back together should have been as full of love and caring as the reasons behind the breakup. (Even if Puck still thinks that the break up was unnecessary.)  
><em>Katastrophe101: <em>I'm glad you liked the last chapter! And I hope you liked this chapter too! Yeah, the gang kind of dropped off the map, but at the same time it's hard to include them when this story is taking place in Lima and they're well not there. They're going to disappear for a bit, but they're going to come back and play a pretty big role later according to my story timeline.  
>Once again, thank you guys for all of your support!<br>I'll see you back here soon.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Spencer acted strange the week before the Glee kids came home for spring break. Puck couldn't explain what was strange about her, but there was something that just felt different. She still visited him at work when she could. And if he wasn't at work she would let him take her to her chemo appointments. And they spent every evening together at her house or at his. But there was something strange going on. Spencer had to be home every day at quarter to three, and Puck wasn't allowed to come with her. And then she would shut herself up in her house for an hour or two before texting him and telling him that they could hang out again. He had tried asking her what she was doing and why he couldn't help her, but she had refused to answer. And then there were the constant questions. <em>What classes did you take at Lima Community? What kind of grades did you get? Do you know your GPA off the top of your head? Did you get to know any of your professors pretty well?<em> Puck would answer her questions as well as he could before asking some questions of his own ... well really only one question, why was she so interested in what he did at Lima Community College? Spencer never answered his question, not really, she would smile at him for a moment before shrugging and telling him nonchalantly, "I'm just wondering what you did while you were there."

Puck didn't really buy her excuse. But he never called bullshit on her either. She seemed to enjoy her little secret so who was he to ruin it for her. And besides, he was sure that she would tell him soon enough. It wasn't really anything he had to worry about. He finally found out what she was doing at her last chemo appointment before their friends came back for break. They had fallen into a routine, if he didn't have to go to work he would pick her up and bring her to chemo treatment where she would sit in his lap and eat her pot cookies (she and Sebastian had finally mastered the recipe) while they watched movies on her laptop or read books from the library. Sometimes she would sit in her own chair and they would play poker during the hours they spent there. But that day was different. She had settled down in the green leather chair before nodding to the chair next to it, "You'll need to sit there today," she said with a soft, happy smile.

Puck asked if they were going to be playing poker that day. But she simply shook her head and smiled at him as Tracey walked into the station so that she could weigh and measure the girl. Puck smiled proudly when Tracey announced that Spencer had made it to on hundred pounds. That was good news. He told her that he would take her out to dinner and celebrate and that they'd eat so much that, "next time we come in you will have gained at least five pounds." Spencer smiled and told him that they would have a lot more to celebrate than just her weight gain. Puck was confused, especially when Tracey walked back into the station to start the saline drip and also to bring them two lap desks. "What's going on?" Puck asked as Spencer placed her lap desk on her lap before extending her arm for the IV needle.

Spencer sighed and shook her head as she glanced up at Tracey, "Honestly," she whispered, not flinching as the IV was inserted into her vein. "He just doesn't trust me." Tracey smiled at the girl before squeezing her shoulder. She told Puck that she wished him luck before leaving the station to send Spencer's blood down to the lab. Puck raised his eyebrows at his girlfriend, silently waiting for her to tell him what she was up to. Spencer sighed before reaching into her bag that was sitting next to her chair. She pulled out a handful of pens and a thick stack of papers. "I understand that sending in college applications can be expensive," she said with a sigh, "So I only brought the applications for the best schools that you had a chance of getting into." She shook her head when she realized that that must have sounded offensive. "Your grades were actually quite good. I checked your GPA against school requirements and, considering how bad of a student you were in high school I was surprised to see that most schools would be willing to accept you. Of course you don't want to go to just any school, so that narrowed the choices a bit."

"Slow down Spence," Puck said, shaking his head and reaching out for her hand, she had been talking faster than normal. That was one of her tells, Puck recognized it, when she was worried about someone getting upset about what she was saying she would talk faster, as though if she never gave them the time to interrupt her they would never be able to get angry with her. "What are you talking about?" he asked, still trying to process what she was saying and make sense of the official looking paper on the top of the stack in her hand. "Take a deep breath and explain ... slowly please."

Spencer sighed and nodded. "Applications," she said softly. "For college next year. We don't have much time, most application deadlines are in like two weeks, but that's why you have me. I'll fill out and answer all the questions I know the answers to while you work on essays." She pulled out her laptop and passed it over to Puck so that he could type his essays. "My mom can edit your essays, she was an english major in college. And I've already asked Mr. Schue and that professor your really liked, Professor Walters, to write letters of recommendation. And I've checked all the applications that I picked out for you, each of them have an open essay that you can write whatever you want to ... you could write about your time in juvie, because they will find out about it, explain the lessons your learned there and how it made you a better person. Trust me, colleges love things like that."

She finally paused and actually lifted her head so that she could look at Puck. She bit her lip when she realized that she couldn't read his expression. That couldn't be a good thing, could it? Puck sighed as he looked at her, a part of him felt like he should be mad at her for pushing him. For doing this without asking his permission. Maybe he didn't want to go to college yet. Why was she trying to push him? But he couldn't bring himself to be mad at her because when he looked at her all he could see was hope and love. They hadn't said it to each other yet, but thanks to that video Sebastian had made for him he knew that Spencer loved him. She was doing this, pushing him because she loved him and she wanted what was best for him. She was doing this because she wanted him to have a future - a future that was better than the one Lima, Ohio had to offer him. How could he be mad at her for that? He shook his head, he couldn't. He smiled at her and reached out for the applications in her hand, "What colleges did you choose for me, Baby?"

And the way Spencer smiled could have lit up the entire room. She handed him the applications before she began naming them and explaining why she had chosen them. "Cornell," she said, naming the first one. "It was voted the top undergrad architecture program in the country. Your GPA is still a little low for the program, but I think that if you wrote some good essays and got some kick ass letters of rec. you could get in. And then there's the University of Texas, that's the second best program in the country ... I'm not just saying this because you're my boyfriend, but I think you're a shoe-in. Virginia Tech was third on the list, apparently it's not just a farming school like I had always heard. Then I chose Rhode Island School of Design, number six ... I know it, because it's in Providence ... it's a really good school. And last but not least Southern California Institute of Architecture, number seven of the ten best ... I was surprised to find out that an_ institute of architecture_ was not the first on the list, but it's still a pretty good school."

Puck smiled at the girl, silently thanking her for the amount of research she had done for him. As he looked through the applications in the pile he noticed that there were packets of information on each of the schools as well so that he could read about them. "How did you get all of this?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows as he picked up the brochures and ten page information packet on Cornell. Spencer shrugged and told him that she had sent away for it. That's why she had to be home every day around three, she had to get the mail because the information and applications were being sent to her house. Puck stared at her for a minute before his lips spread into a grin and he leaned over to her so that he could press a kiss into her lips. "These schools are pretty far away," he said once he had pulled away. "New York, Virginia, Rhode Island, Texas, California ... Are you trying to get rid of me, Spencer Anderson?"

Spencer shrugged before she smiled and shook her head. "Believe me, I almost added the application to the University of Cincinnati in Ohio to keep you close. It was tenth on the list of the ten best graduate level Architecture programs. But I didn't. From what I can tell their undergrad program is crap and that's not what I want for you. I mean, I don't want to freak you out or sound like a stalker, but I want to be with you in the future ... I really do. But I want you to have a good future more than that. And your best shot at that is from a school with a truly great program. You deserve that. And I want to make sure you get that chance."

Puck stared at her for a moment. This girl was amazing. And he still couldn't figure out why he was lucky enough to get her. She may have thought that he deserved a great shot at life, and maybe he did, but he wasn't entirely sure that he deserved the girl sitting next to him. Maybe no one did. "Definitely doesn't freak me out," he said as he leaned in to kiss her again. Spencer smiled into Puck's lips and lifted both of her hands so that she could cup Puck's face. Puck let his tongue slip out of his mouth and swipe over her bottom lip, asking her to open her mouth. She did immediately and Puck was about to let his tongue slip into her mouth when he heard someone cough from behind him. He pulled away quickly, grabbing Spencer's hand to give it a squeeze. He turned his head to see Tracey standing behind him with Spencer's benedryl and steroid shots in her hands.

"None of that here," the young nurse teased with a twinkle in her eyes as she walked further into the station and began to prepare Spencer for her next round of chemo.

-.-.-.-.-

After Tracey had hooked Spencer up to her second IV that would give her the drugs they had started to work. Spencer had handed him a sheet of typed up questions, the essay questions for each school and then had spread out all of his applications so that she could begin to fill in the easy information like his name and his high school information. Then while Puck was reading through the information and beginning to type up draft responses to the essay questions she began to ask him for help on the harder to answer questions. She had needed to know his social security number, every class he had ever taken, his grades. What surprised Puck was that she never asked him for his SAT scores. She smiled at him when he pointed that out, "I called your mom last week," she said as she wrote down something on the application. "She texted me your scores two days ago."

Puck wasn't sure whether or not he should be mad about the fact that Spencer had included his mom in this process before him. Or that his mother had kept this a secret from him. But in the end he realized that he couldn't be angry at either of them, they just wanted the best for him.

When he dropped Spencer off at her house later that afternoon she turned to him and told him to continue filling out the applications, read the college information packets, to email her drafts of his essay responses as soon as possible so her mom could edit them, and to call her if he had any questions. And then she leaned over to kiss his cheek and climbed out of the truck. She sighed once she was out of the truck and gestured to Puck to roll down the window. "I know this is overwhelming," she said softly once he had done so. "And I know this might seem like I'm pushing you, if you don't want to do this let me know, I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to."

Puck shook his head, "It's fine," he said, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. "There's no harm in applying right? I don't really have to think about this until I find out if I got into anywhere." Spencer smiled and nodded. "Good night, Spence," Puck said, leaning over so that he could kiss her cheek. Usually they hung out in the evenings, but Spencer and Sebastian were having a movie night that night. Spencer had told him that he could come too if he wanted, but Puck had declined. While he was thankful that the ex-Warbler had basically orchestrated him and Spencer getting back together he still couldn't wrap his head around being friends with the guy. But as long as he made Spencer happy Puck was going to keep his opinions to himself.

"Good night, Noah," Spencer said with a smile as she passed him one final sheet of paper. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Puck nodded, the Glee kids were coming back tomorrow and since Spencer had to take her booster shot they were all going over to Spencer's house to hang out and watch movies. He didn't look at the last piece of paper until Spencer had walked into her house. It was a list of pros and cons for each school that included things like _best pizza, beach, warm all year round_, and _hello, it's New York_ as pros and _distance, school's in the middle of no where_, and _let's face it ... I don't know anything cool about Texas_ as cons. He chuckled and shook his head as he put his truck in reverse and pulled out of the driveway. This list was so ... Spencer. And he loved it.

-.-.-.-.-

He woke up the next morning to someone hammering on his bedroom door. "Ma!" he called through the closed door, thinking that it was his mother. "Would you chill? I don't start work until noon. Can't you let me sleep late today?" But it turned out that it wasn't his mother at the door. Once they had heard his voice and knew that he was at least somewhat awake they opened the door and walked into his room. Puck was able to ignore whoever it was up until they jumped on his bed. "What the fuck?" he yelled as he rolled over, groaning and cursing when he realized that Mike and Tina were sitting on his bed staring at him expectantly. "What do you want?" he growled at Mike before turning to Tina and asking her how she was doing. He knew for a fact that visiting him at seven in the morning definitely had not been Tina's idea. He blamed Mike.

"Two things," Mike said, holding up two fingers as if he was worried that Puck's hearing might not function in the morning. "Two ideas really. We wanted to run them by you to see what you thought. First ... I know that Spencer has decided to write a paper for her Capstone instead of working with the kids because, lets face it, she can't. But what if I traveled to Providence and taught the kids for her? Do you think that would upset her? It's her moves after all. And then she wouldn't let the kids down or have to write a paper." Puck nodded with a smile, Spencer would honestly love that. And Mike was giving him a chance to thank her for all the work she had done on his applications.

"I think she'd love it," he said with an honest smile. "But this could have waited until a decent hour."

"Nope," Mike said, shaking his head. "If I'm going to do this I would need to leave for Providence by tomorrow morning. I won't have much time once classes start again ... Spring Break would be best. So I needed to know if I should start looking for a plane ticket or just forget the idea all together." Puck nodded and asked what the second thing was. This time it was Tina who answered him.

"The other girls and I were talking about how Spencer has lost her hair. And we were thinking about getting haircuts ourselves. I've looked it up online and all of our hair is long enough that they could cut it off and make wigs out of it and we would still have hair. You know, cause Rachel wasn't going to do it if she was going to be bald. But we'd all still have shoulder length hair at least. Do you think she would like that?" Puck thought about the wig that Spencer still wore if she was going on in public, how she had worn it through high school when she was trying to hide her still growing hair. There had to be other girls like Spencer, girls who didn't want people to stare at them because they were bald, girls that didn't want people to know about the chemo. Spencer would love knowing that her friends had cut their hair to help other girls like her. He nodded, but asked Tina why everyone wanted to do this. Tina nodded, "We were trying to think of a way that we could show her that we're all there for her and we all love her. This was the best way we could think of to be supportive."

Puck smiled, pretty sure that this was the best idea his Glee girls had ever had. But now it was seven in the morning and he was awake with no reason to be. "You buying the plane ticket?" he asked Mike, rolling over to see his friend staring intently down at the smart phone in his hand. Mike nodded before asking Puck if he had any idea how Mike could get in touch with Spencer's kids once he got to providence. Puck started to shake his head, but changed his mind halfway through and nodded. "Hand me my computer," he told Tina, gesturing toward his laptop. Tina did as he asked, raising her eyebrows a bit as he opened up the internet. "The last time she was here she used my computer to check her email," Puck explained as he searched his history for the Brown email system. "One of the kids, a boy named Kenny, had emailed her."

"That's great," Mike said with a nod. "But it only works if you know her password. Do you know her password?" Puck shook his head, smiling at the frown Mike sent in his direction.

"But I do have this program on my computer that saves all passwords," Puck said, logging into the program and searching through the recently used passwords until he found one that he didn't recognize. "No matter what, you can't tell Spencer. She'd kill me," he paused as he pressed a button and watched the page load into her email inbox. "Something about a violation of privacy. Anyway, we're in." He grinned at Tina, this was his favorite thing about the password saving program, it let him feel like some genius computer hacker for a few minutes, even though its main purpose was so that he didn't forget his own passwords. He searched through the emails until he found one from the Kenny kid, he hit reply before spinning the laptop around so that Mike could type his message.

"You might want to give him your phone number," Tina pointed out as her boyfriend typed. "You know so that he can contact you without going through Spencer's email. She might figure out what's goin on if he replies to you in an email." Puck had figured that that would be common sense, but Mike actually looked as though this hadn't occurred to him and quickly typed out his phone number and a request that Kenny call him or text him in response to the email instead of emailing back. He added one extra line stressing his desire to keep this a secret from Spencer before hitting send. Once the message had sent he quickly went to the sent mail and deleted the proof of the email before handing the laptop back to Puck.

Puck smiled as he imagined Spencer's face when she found out what they had planned. She was going to love it. "Now," he said with a nod as he reached out and shoved Mike off his bed. "Get out of my room and let me sleep."

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><p>Author's Note:<br>Hey guys, I hope you liked this chapter.  
>I know it was kind of a filler chapter, but it's setting things up for a really big chapter in about four chapters or so.<br>**REALLY BIG.  
><strong>So anyway, I really, really hope that you liked this chapter! Please review to let me know.  
>I love review love, I live and thrive off of it, honestly.<br>So send me reviews.  
>As a shout out ... this is probably going to be the last update for about a week and a half. I'm <strong>GRADUATING <strong>on Friday, so things are about to get really, **REALLY** busy.  
>Thanks for all of the reviews on the last chapter. I love each and every one of you for the support. Keep it up.<br>And I will see you back here soon,  
>hugs and kisses.<br>Chloe Jane.

p.s. _Quattrolove_ - when do you leave for holiday?


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

Just as an apology, this chapter's kind of short, but I wanted to get something out to you and it's beginning to set things up for a big chapter soon. Enjoy!

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><p>Mike's next job was to go distract Spencer while everyone else got their haircut or in Puck's case, went to work. He waited until a more decent hour to show up at her house (8:30). But he didn't need to worry, she had been up since six dealing with the side effects of the booster shot. For her credit she smiled at him when she opened the door, trying to hide the pain she was in, but she had also already eaten her pot cookies for the morning, so she was feeling almost okay, just a ghost of the usual pain in her bones. "Hey Mikey," she said softly, lifting a hand to cover her yawn. "I wasn't expecting to see you until tonight, what's up?"<p>

Mike shrugged, "I have to head back to school early," he said, "tomorrow morning actually. I figured that I would come hang out with you for the day. Get some Mike and Spencer hang out time since I won't be here for the rest of the week." Spencer raised her eyebrows and asked him about Tina. They didn't go to the same school and she figured that he would want to hang out with her on his only day in town. "She's got stuff to do today," Mike explained. "She said it was okay. That it would actually be good for us to get some alone time."

"Why didn't you just stay in New York if you were only going to be in town for one day and night?" Spencer asked, unsure of why Mike was on her front steps at eight-thirty in the morning.

"My parents had frequent flyer miles," Mike said with a shrug as he shoved his hands in his back pockets. "Now are you going to let me take you to breakfast or are you going to stand here and ask me more questions." Spencer smiled and told him that she would be right back, she grabbed a hoodie from her room and called out to her mother to tell her that she was going out and then she grabbed Mike's wrist and pulled him at a run to his mustang.

"So how are you and Puck?" Mike asked once they were both buckled and headed toward IHOP (Spencer had been craving some of their stuffed French toast). Spencer nodded and told him that they were doing well, but that there wasn't much to tell. "I'm going to call bull on that," Mike said with a smirk as he turned to look at Spencer. "Now, for real. How are you and Puck?"

Spencer smiled at him. "I've got him filling out college applications," she admitted, her smile spreading with her excitement. "With any luck, by this time next year he'll be the one on spring break." Mike nodded and told her that that was really good. She nodded. "I know, I don't think he realizes just how excited I am for him." She paused and bit her lip before she glanced at Mike, "Do you think that it's too early to say that I might love him?" she asked.

Mike studied her for a few moments before he shook his head. "No," he said after a pause. "I don't think so. You guys were friends before you started dating. Even though you didn't really talk to each other during high school you were still kind of friends. If it's anything like Tina and me you loved each other long before you started dating, it was just a different kind of love I guess." Spencer nodded as she pulled the hoodie that had up until this point been sitting her her lap over her head. "You think you love him?" Mike asked, turning to glance at the girl beside him before doing a double take at the sweatshirt she was wearing.

"Yeah," Spencer said with a nod. "I think I mig - what?" She had noticed Mike's double take. She glanced down at the sweatshirt and frowned when she realized that it was a Dalton Lacrosse hoodie. She had stolen it from Sebastian. She shrugged, "Must have taken this from Blaine or Kurt in high school or something," she said, making up the worse excuse known to man.

"Except that none of them played lacrosse," Mike pointed out, shaking his head. But he didn't ask her anything about it which was nice. Spencer made a mental note to take the hoodie off as soon as she got home so that Kurt and Blaine didn't see it. Blaine might not have made the connection, but she knew that Kurt would. And as much as she thought Sebastian had changed she was sure that Kurt wasn't going to believe it. Hell, he would see her friendship with Sebastian as probably the worst thing she could ever do.

Breakfast was short, but fun. Mike had all sorts of stories to tell her about the dance classes he had been taking and his friends at school. Spencer was relatively quiet, she didn't have many stories to tell. She was in Lima, Ohio ... there wasn't much going on. She couldn't talk about what she did with Sebastian, and she was sure that Mike didn't need to hear all the details of what she did with Puck. But she had fun. It was as they were getting ready to leave that she remembered one piece of information she could share with her friend. "Oh!" she said as she followed Mike out of the restaurant and toward his car. "I forgot to mention that I've been helping Mr. Schue out with Glee practices on Mondays. It's not as much fun as it used to be in high school, but it's nice. And it's not the same feeling I got when I was working with the kids in Providence, but it works."

Mike smiled at her, "Have you heard from any of the Providence kids?" he asked as he started to drive them to their next stop, a barber shop. Spencer nodded and told him that she emailed back and forth with them sometimes. They were doing well and applying to schools. She had sighed sadly when she told him that she wished they could have done the performance, if only so that they could add the tape to their applications. Mike bit his lip to keep his smile from becoming even wider. "They don't blame you," he said, shaking his head as he remembered the email from the Kenny kid. He backpedaled when he caught the questioning look on her face. "I mean, they can't blame you. You have cancer. Not your choice or your fault."

Spencer nodded before she turned her head toward the window, taking in their surroundings. "Why are we here?" she asked, looking at the barbershop they were pulling into. "Am I here to watch you get a haircut, Mikey?"

Mike nodded, "It's on my list of things I needed to do today," he said with a shrug. "And we're spending the entire day together which means that you get to deal with the the haircut. Spencer nodded and asked him what he planned to do with his hair. "I'm thinking about just buzzing it all off," Mike said with a smirk in Spencer's direction. "Take a leaf out of your book or something. Think I could rock the bald look?" Spencer smiled and told him that he probably could. Mike waited until they were walking into the barber shop to ask Spencer for the recordings of the dance that they had never sent to the kids in Providence.

"Sure," Spencer said with a nod. "Why?"

"I'm thinking about using them for one of my classes," Mike said, lying easily. "We have to turn in a few tapes demonstrating our choreography skills. I figured I would lie and claim that I had done all of the choreography for those dances." Spencer smiled at him and nodded, biting back a laugh. And then she agreed, telling him that he could get the tapes at her house that evening.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck was getting ready to close the garage for the night when the boys showed up. He waved at them, figuring that they all planned to drive over to Spencer's house together, but he soon realized that there was something weird about them. They were all wearing knit hats that looked very similar to the ones Spencer wore when she wasn't wearing her wig (even Kurt). And Blaine was walking into the garage with a strange smile on his face and an electric razor in his hand. "What's going on?" Puck asked, not sure if he should trust his friends or not.

"Just sit down," Kurt said, trying to calm his friend down as the slim boy walked further into the garage and shoved Puck onto the stool by the work bench. "This won't hurt at all. And Spencer will love you for it."

"Although I'm pretty sure she already might," Sam said, walking into the garage and scrubbing his hand over his face. "Love you, I mean." Puck watched as Sam pulled the knit cap off his head and his jaw dropped when he realized that Sam's hair was gone, he had shaved it off. He wasn't completely bald, he had a buzz cut, but most of his hair was gone. Puck glanced at all of the guys and smiled when they all pulled off their hats to reveal shaved heads as well.

"What the hell?" he breathed softly, not even noticing that Kurt had taken the electric razor from his boyfriend and turned it on. "What's going on?" Puck asked, finally noticing Kurt's actions when the smaller male began to shave off his mohawk. "Hummel," he growled, "back away from the hair."

"Bald-headed solidarity," Blaine said with a chuckle as he gently pushed down on Puck's shoulders so that he wouldn't hurt his boyfriend. "It's happening whether you want it to or not, and Kurt's the best one to make sure that it's straight and even." And then it was as if Puck's brain had finally caught up with him and he realized what was going on. This was all for Spencer, so that she wouldn't be alone. Kurt was right, she was going to love this.

He stopped fighting agains Blaine and within minutes Kurt had shaved his hair down to an even length. He rubbed his hand over where his mohawk used to be, smiling slightly at the even hair he found instead. Once Kurt was satisfied the boys all piled into their cars and headed over to Spencer's house where she and Mike were waiting for everyone. Puck smiled as he drove through her neighborhood with Sam in the passenger seat, he was looking forward to tonight. This was going to be the first real time he and Spencer were going to hang out with the whole group and actually be a couple. He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't happy about that. They pulled up to the curb in front of Spencer's house, parking behind Quinn's car and got out of his truck. Puck glanced at the empty car wondering if Spencer knew that the girls had cut their hair yet. Sam smiled and shook his head, "Mike's keeping her distracted upstairs and her mom told us all to just walk in and wait in the basement. We're supposed to text Mike once we're all down there." Puck shook his head, of course Spencer's mom was in on the surprise.

They walked into the house and Puck waved a quiet hello to Stacey before he and Sam headed down to the basement to hang out while they waited for everyone else to get there. All the girls looked great, they weren't bald like Spencer or the boys, but they all had shorter hair. They hadn't been down there for more than about fifteen minutes when Tina got a text from Mike telling her that they were on their way downstairs. Everyone got quiet as they heard the door open and Mike and Spencer make their way down the stairs. "Are you sure they're on their way?" Spencer asked as they slowly walked down the stairs.

"Tina just texted me," Mike said loudly, "They're about five minutes away. She said that they decided that you could pick out the movie. So, my one request is that we don't do one of those horrible chick-flicks. Tina makes me watch enough of those. Can't stand another one."

Spencer's laughter floated down the last few steps as she rounded the corner and finally caught sight of the rest of the kids in the basement. She didn't seem to notice the hair at first, she turned to look at Mike over her shoulder, obviously confused about why he had lied and said they weren't there yet, when they were all in the basement. But then her muscles tensed up and Puck watched as she slowly turned her head back in their direction, her eyes darting over each of her friend's faces as she took in their new hairstyles. "What's going on?" she asked lightly, taking a step closer to the group, her blue eyes landing on Puck as she waited for him to answer.

In the end it wasn't Puck that answered her question, but Rachel.

"We're trying to show you our support," the brunette diva said, stepping closer to Spencer. "The girls all got our hair cut so that it could be made into wigs for other people with cancer and the boys all shaved their heads so that you wouldn't be the only bald person in the group." Spencer watched with wide, surprised eyes as all the boys pulled their knit caps off their heads so that Spencer could take in their new haircuts. She didn't say anything, her blue eyes darted from face to face until she had looked at the entire group, but she didn't say anything. Rachel bit her lip, looking nervous.

"Do you like it?" Britney asked, sounding nervous.

"No Sweetie," Spencer said, shaking her head and smiling at the concerned blonde in front of her. "I love it." Puck wasn't sure whether he should believe her or if she was just saying that so that Britney wouldn't be upset. But a moment later Spencer turned to smile at the rest of the group, happy tears sparkling in her eyes and he knew that she had been telling the truth, she loved it. "Come here you guys," she said, holding her arms out, silently demanding a group hug. Britney and Rachel were the first to reacher her, but within seconds the entire group was wrapped around Spencer, everyone managing to touch some part of her. "I can't believe you did this!" Spencer said once they had pulled away from her. "Thank you."

"I can't believe I did this either," Mercedes said, patting her shorter hair. Kurt nodded, seconding his friend's statement as he walked over to the mirror to study his reflection, the look on his face clearly saying that he still was not sure if he was thrilled about what he had allowed to happen to his head.

Spencer grinned at him and walked up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind and stood up on her tiptoes so that she could press a kiss onto his cheek. "You look fantastic, Kurt," she breathed, giving his shoulders a tight squeeze to accentuate her point. "Don't you worry about that." Kurt turned around so that he could wrap his own arms around Spencer's waist before he leaned his forehead against hers and returned the sentiment.

After that the group began to relax, everyone found a spot on one of the couches or the chairs or the floor and someone put in a movie. Although no one really paid attention to it. "I have an idea," Tina said from her spot in Mike's lap a few minutes later. "Why don't we go around and share our favorite memories from high school?"

"Let's make this night downright depressing, why don't we?" Santana fired back as she wrapped one of her arms around Britney's waist and pulled the blonde closer to her. "I mean, it's not like any of us are going anywhere," her brown eyes darted to look over at Spencer for a moment before turning back to Tina. "We'll all be here for the reunion. We can share our favorite memories then."

"I really liked when Rachel and Finn found Sam in a strip club," Spencer said after a minute of silence. She bit her bottom lip and let her eyes dart toward Sam to see how he took her statement.

"You weren't supposed to know about that!" Sam said, his cheeks coloring at the memory.

"But baby," Spencer said, a slight whine to her voice as she settled deeper into Puck's arms. "I really love white chocolate." And then everyone had a memory or two to share.

"Anybody remember when the football team did the Single Ladies dance?" Mike asked, glancing around at Finn, Puck, and Kurt.

"When Kurt was on the team for like three seconds?" Rachel asked, reaching out to grab Kurt's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I was so mad that I missed that game."

"Speaking of being on a team for three seconds remember when Spencer decided that she wanted to become a Cheerio?" Kurt asked, turning the attention back to Spencer.

Spencer shook her head, smiling at the memory, "Hey! I was new at the school, I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to feel like I belonged. And I looked damn good in that uniform."

"You did," Puck said, leaning in to lay a few, soft open-mouthed kisses on Spencer's neck. "That was the first time I saw you. And all I could think of was how much I wanted to get into that skirt."

Spencer smirked at him, "I still have it upstairs in my closet if you'd like to try it on," she said, her smirk turning into a cheeky smile by the end of her statement.

Puck chuckled as he wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist and pulled her back until she was seated in his lap. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before pulling away. "And had I known what a snarky smart ass she was going to turn into I would never have been interested in her." Spencer made an indignant sounding noise before she turned her head so that she could press a kiss onto Puck's lips.

"Snarky smart asses remind me of that Warbler kid," Finn said from the armchair. "Remember when he photoshopped a picture of me," he was about to continue before Rachel clapped a hand over his mouth and told him to stop talking. Puck watched as Spencer tensed up at the first mention of Sebastian and then quickly forced herself to relax when she realized that Rachel was stopping her boyfriend from saying anything about the boy. He let one of his hands drop down to her hip and he gave her hip bone a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"Happy memories only!" Rachel commanded, clapping her hands together to punctuate each word, before turning back to the group. "I think my favorite memory from senior year was when Mr. Schue proposed to Miss Pillsbury. That was so sweet."

"You only thought that was sweet because you got a solo," Santana replied. But the friendly smile on her face softened the Latina's words. "I vote nationals as my favorite memory. We spent a week in Hawaii and came back with a trophy. Too bad we all graduated after that, we would have ruled the school the next year."

Blaine and Britney raised their hands. "I didn't graduate," Britney said, looking confused as she turned to look at Santana, as if she was asking the girl for confirmation on her statement.

Spencer smiled as she watched Santana's smile soften as she turned to the blonde and whispered something that was probably very sweet in the girl's ear. "I'm just surprised that we've all made it this far together," she admitted as she leaned her head back onto Puck's shoulder and allowed him to press a kiss into her temple. "I mean, look at us - we're still all friends. And more than that there are still couples. Rachel and Finn made it longer than I thought they would, Blaine and Kurt are going to be together forever so they're right on track, Mike and Tina, Santana and Britney. Who would have thought that you guys would have lasted all the way through college."

Puck pressed another kiss onto the girl's temple before brushing his lips down to her cheek, across her jaw, finally landing on the corner of her mouth. "You and me?" he breathed as he pulled away from her. She smiled and took a few moments before she answered.

"Well we weren't really together in high school so we don't really count."

"Oh I think we count," Puck said before turning to look at the rest of the group. "Right guys?"

"She's wanted you since high school," Sam said with a chuckle, ducking when Spencer grabbed Puck's shoe off his foot and jokingly chucked it at her friend's head. "I think that more than counts."

"And this just got embarrassing," Spencer muttered, lifting Puck's arm so that she could hide her face from her smiling friends. "Come on guys! More memories!" The group laughed, but complied and began to bring up more of their favorite high school memories. The memories were anything from babygate their sophomore year to graduation their senior year. At the end of the night while everyone was saying goodbye and making plans to meet up later in the week, besides Mike who would be flying to Providence the next morning, Spencer stood up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss into Puck's cheek. "This is the happiest I've been in Lima ... ever," she whispered, a pretty blush coloring her cheeks before she allowed Mike to sweep her up in his arms and give her a goodbye hug.

Puck could not even try to hide the grin that spread across his face at her statement.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>And that's it for now. Not really a long note today, I've got stuff to do and not much to say.  
>I hope you liked this chapter. Send me a review to let me know ... I love reading what you guys think!<br>Thank you to all of you who sent me graduation wishes. I'm officially a college alumni now and it's a little weird.  
>Once again, I hope you liked this chapter.<br>See you back here soon.  
>hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>"So, have you and Puck?" Santana asked before taking a sip of her of her smoothie. Spencer glanced up from her own Oreo milkshake, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. It was two days after the Glee get together at her house and Santana, Kurt, and Spencer had gone to the mall in Columbus to blow off some steam and some money. At the moment they were taking a break, both of the girls drinking milkshakes while Kurt had opted for a small container of frozen yogurt. "You know," Santana added, noting her friend's confusion and sending a lewd wink in the brunette's direction as if that was supposed to clear everything up. It did.<p>

Her pink lips formed a pretty_ oh_ shape as she sat back in her chair and stared at her Latina friend. "Have we ...?" she asked, hoping that Santana wouldn't be so mean as to make her say what she was asking about. Kurt watched the two women with a smile, biting his lip to keep from giggling when he noticed the pretty blush that was quickly spreading across Spencer's cheekbones.

"Had sex? Made love? Done the dirty? Fucked?" Santana asked, holding up a new finger with each new choices as she ticked off the various ways one could phrase her question. She leaned forward in her own seat, not letting Spencer get too far away from her. "Have you and Puckerman done the mattress jig?" She looked away to keep from laughing with Spencer at that one, the small brunette was now rocking back and forth in her chair with her hand pressed over her mouth to keep from laughing too loudly at her friend's lewd questions. "The horizontal tango? Had some afternoon delight?" It was the last one that had done Santana in. Spencer hadn't been there for Miss Pillsbury's performance of that song with the dentist, but she had heard about it.

"I can't believe you just said that," Spencer gasped out, leaning forward so that she could grab the giggling Latina's hand and squeeze it. "Now we're never going to be able to do it because I'll will forever picture Miss Pillsbury in my head! Talk about a mood killer, San!" The girls continued to giggle for a few more seconds, clutching to each other as if their lives depended on it before something Spencer had said finally registered in Kurt's mind.

"Wait," he said, leaning forward and clasping his own hand over Spencer's small, boney shoulder so that he could gain and keep her attention. "You and Puck haven't done it yet?" Spencer shook her head, her blue eyes filled with mirth even though the topic was a bit sensitive. "I could have sworn that you guys would have done it by now," Kurt continued. "Puck's not normally the type to wait."

"Believe me," Spencer said with a nod. "I'm just as surprised as you are. I tried once, honestly, I practically threw myself at him, but Noah didn't want to."

"Are you sure it was Puck you were trying to do it with it and not someone with, I don't know, morals?" Santana asked, sipping her shake through her straw and trying not to laugh at the worried look on Spencer's face. "Because the Puck I know would have jumped on that so long ago," she said, gesturing toward Spencer's body.

"Yeah," Spencer said, her blush darkening a bit. "Believe me, I know. But I think it might have been my fault. My timing was completely off and it just wasn't going to work. Completely my fault actually." Kurt asked her what she meant by that. Because as Santana had already pointed out, this did not sound like the Noah Puckerman they knew from high school, that Puckerman didn't care about cliched things like _timing_. Spencer sighed, "I tried to sleep with him the night before I found out that the cancer had spread." Santana raised her eyebrows as if to ask_ So?_ Spencer sighed again, "My doctor had called to ask me if I could go to her office to discuss the results with her. That's like universal doctor speak for, _I'm about to give you some really bad news_. Noah figured that I was trying to sleep with him just to get my mind off of the potential bad news I was about to get. And if I'm being honest with you, he was right."

"And you haven't tried since?" Santana asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

Spencer shrugged, her blush darkening as she glanced to Kurt as if silently asking him for help. He shrugged back at her, as if he was unsure of what to say - he wanted to know the answer too. She sighed, "No," she said, shaking her head. "I haven't tried again. What if he says no again? I could understand the first time he rejected me, honestly I could, but I don't think I could go through that again ... it's embarrassing."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, baby girl," Santana said, moving from her chair to the one next to Spencer so that she could rest her head on the girl's shoulder. "You're a babe! And Puck would probably jump at the chance to get in your pants!"

"Or you know, something a little more romantic," Kurt said with a smile as he leaned his head on Spencer's other shoulder.

"I have the best idea ever!" Santana gasped, clapping her hands together and almost squealing. "We need to go to Victoria's Secret, right now!" Spencer's eyes widened as she turned to look at Kurt with a nervous look on her face. "And then we should get some candles, and you could cook him dinner. My parents are gone for the night, you can use my house."

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head and moving away from Santana. "I love you San, and I want to thank you for the offer. But Noah and I are not going to have sex for the first time at your house. I'm pretty sure the two of you have had sex on every surface in your house. No offense, but I don't want to have those memories in his head while we're doing it."

Santana sighed, looking to Kurt to see if he had any ideas. Kurt shrugged, honestly, he could see where Santana was coming from. And he knew that she thought she was being a good friend, but offering her house to Spencer and Puck seemed to be the wrong way to do it. Santana snapped her fingers together excitedly, "I know! Puck's mom works nights on Wednesdays and his little sister is like in love with your brother. They could hang out together, watch movies or something at your house, and you guys could hang out at his house. Although ... he's probably had sex on every surface of his house too at one point or another."

Spencer glanced Kurt, silently hoping that he would tell Santana that she was crazy. But the look on his face said that he actually agreed with her. "No," she said, shaking her head and extending her hands to the side to gently push her friends out of the way. "No. I'm not going to use my brother and his crush on Noah's sister as a cover to have sex with my boyfriend."

"You won't have to tell him," Santana said with a grin, already forming a plan as she grabbed Spencer's hand and began to pull her out of her seat. "Puck works late on Wednesdays, but I know where they hide their spare key. You could let yourself into the house and cook him dinner, light candles, you'll probably want to change the sheets on his bed, and then, jump on him the second he walks in the door." Spencer shook her head, planning to say no once again, but when Kurt nodded his agreement and began to help their Latina friend pull her toward the Victoria's Secret.

She shrugged, maybe it would work. It wasn't that she wasn't nervous anymore, but maybe this time it would work and Puck wouldn't be able to refuse her this time. She sighed and began to walk a little faster so that her friends weren't pulling her along anymore. "Just nothing too cheesy, or see-through, or I don't know," she hesitated, "I just want to keep it classy, can we do that?"

Kurt laughed and wrapped his arm around Spencer's upper arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, "That's why you have me here, Love."

-.-.-.-.-

When Puck got home from work on Wednesday evening he was surprised to see the lights on in the house. He knew that his mom was at work and he could have sworn that Sarah had said something about hanging out with some of her friends, maybe she had gotten home early. His confusion only heightened when he walked into the house and smelled the delicious smells coming from the kitchen. "Ma?" he called, assuming that his mother must have gotten the night off, it was the only way to explain the smells, Sarah couldn't cook.

"Guess again," a soft, musical voice called from the kitchen. Puck grinned, he'd recognize that voice anywhere. He threw his jacket down on the back of the couch and quickly walked into the kitchen. Spencer was standing in the middle of his kitchen, her bald head uncovered, her small body covered in a pretty light blue sundress. She didn't seem to notice that he had walked into the kitchen, her back was turned toward him as she checked something in the oven, a roasted chicken from the smell of it. Puck smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest and grinning even wider at the squeal he received.

"Hey Baby," he whispered as he lowered his head so that he could press a soft kiss onto her cheek. "What are you doing here?"

Spencer smiled and leaned her head further against his chest, as if she didn't want to lose their contact. "I figured that you had a long day at work today. And I sent out the last of your college applications this morning, so I figured that we could celebrate a bit. Toby dropped me off when he picked up Sarah, they're watching movies over at my house and I figured we could do the same over here. With dinner?"

Puck smiled, "I'm beginning to understand just how convenient your brother crushing on my sister is for us," he said as he kissed the girl's cheek again, this time instead of pulling away he allowed his lips to follow Spencer's jaw line, continuing to place soft kisses on her skin until he had reached her chin and eventually her lips.

Spencer smiled into the kiss for a moment. Puck couldn't help the grin that spread across his lips when he heard the soft sigh that escaped from the girl's smooth lips. "No," she said, shaking her head as she stepped out of Puck's arms. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" Puck asked, trying to pull the girl back into his arms. "The house is empty, you said that my sister's over at your house, my mom's at work. We can do this all we want." Spencer leaned back into his chest again and Puck almost thought that he had convinced her, but then she shook her head and stepped away from him again, saying something about how they couldn't burn the chicken. Puck groaned, but the groan quickly turned into a grin when Spencer bent over in front of the oven again to check on the chicken. "This isn't fair," he breathed, his eyes roving over her dress covered butt.

"Hmm?" Spencer asked as she reached around on the counter for an oven mitt. "The chicken's almost ready," she said when Puck didn't answer her. She grabbed a towel off the counter too and used it and the mitt to pull the chicken out of the oven. Puck was still watching her ass, so he missed it, but he didn't miss the whispered curse a moment after she had started to pull the chicken out of the oven. "Shit!" Spencer gasped, quickly sliding the hot tray onto the cutting board waiting on the counter and dropping the oven mitt and towel on the floor before she rushed over to the sink to run water over her hand.

"What's wrong?" Puck asked, following her toward the sink and gently pulling her hand out from under the running water. He glanced down at the small, angry red mark on the base of her thumb. "Are you okay, Baby?"

Spencer smiled softly, "I'm fine," she whispered, turning toward the sink again so that she could run more cold water over the burn on her hand. "My fault, really." She turned back to Puck again and lifted her hand closer to his face, "Kiss it and make it better?" she asked, a slight pout resting on her lips. Puck chuckled as he gently took her hand and lifted it up to his lips so that he could press a soft, openmouthed kiss on top of the burn. Spencer smiled as Puck moved his lips to her wrist, further down her forearm, the crook of her elbow, her upper arm, her shoulder, the dip in her collarbone. "Stop," she giggled, stepping away from him when Puck tried to slip the strap of her sundress down her arm so that he could kiss the skin there. "Dinner first," she breathed, moving back toward the chicken. "Can you grab the salad from the fridge? The rest is in the dining room."

Puck nodded and followed her into the dining room. "Spence," he breathed as his eyes fell on the dining room table, the candles, the bread, dessert. "This is too much." Spencer shrugged her shoulders and placed the chicken on the table. She told him that they needed to celebrate the fact that he had applied to college, that he _deserved this_. Puck smiled as he placed the salad down on the table, "Not quite sure what I did to deserve you," he said as he sat down in the chair across the table from Spencer's.

The girl smiled at him as she began to put some salad on her plate. "That was cheesy," she said, a giggle escaping her lips. "What happened to the Noah from high school? He never would have said something like that."

"He grew up," Puck said with a shrug as he reached across the table to grab Spencer's hand. "A lot, actually. Met a girl, she's great. She makes him want to be better, for her, you know?" Spencer smiled at him and asked him if that made the guy a pussy. Puck grinned at the girl across the table at him, completely sure that Spencer had never said that word before. He nodded, "He used to think it would," he said with a shrug. "But it turns out that it's a lot harder to let someone in and admit that you care about them than it is to keep them out. He's stronger now than he ever was in high school."

Spencer grinned. "Smarter too," she said in a whisper as she stood up slightly from her chair, enough that she could lean over the table and press a soft kiss onto Puck's lips. "Although, I'm not entirely sure if this is the real Noah Puckerman I'm talking to at the moment." She looked around the room suspiciously, looking for someone she couldn't see. "You sure Blaine isn't here, feeding you lines?"

Puck grinned at her and shook his head. "That was from the heart, babe."

-.-.-.-.-

Puck had to admit that dinner was good. It was better than good, Spencer was probably the best cook he knew. It had tasted delicious as it had smelled, even though he had glared at the chicken every time he looked at it, if only because of the fact that Spencer had burnt her hand because of it. Spencer had wanted to wash the dishes after dinner, but Puck wouldn't let her, he told her that he would do it the next day or after she went home. She hadn't looked convinced, but he had kissed her on the forehead, "You made dinner, Spence," he said, as if that explained everything to her. "You don't have to wash the dishes too." Spencer nodded. Puck grinned at her, "Let's watch a movie or something," he said with a shrug.

Spencer had nodded and moved toward the living room. But Puck stopped her and began to pull her toward the stairs. He had a television and a dvd player in his room, his bed was much more comfortable than the couch, and Spencer usually fell asleep during movies - his bedroom was just a better plan. Spencer hadn't said anything, but he watched as her brows drew together in worry. What was she worried about? She had been in his bedroom before. It wasn't until he opened his bedroom door that he realized why she was nervous. There were candles everywhere and were those new sheets on his bed? He turned back to look at Spencer and she looked nervous, her hands were clasped behind her back, she was biting her lip. She glanced up at him, a small blush spreading across her cheek bones. "It was Santana's idea," she said, the blush spreading toward her neck. "I should have told her no, but you know how she gets when she's determined. And Kurt - Kurt he was onboard. I should have known that when the two of them got on the same side something bad was going to happen. I'm sorry," she said, moving to the side so that she could start blowing out candles, "This was so stupid, just forget about it. I just - "

Puck tried to keep his grin off his face, he knew that she would be insulted if he started laughing at her in the middle of her freak out. But when he realized that she was going to keep on talking he moved forward to stop her. "Hey, stop," he said, leaning forward so that he could press a hard kiss onto her lips, "Stop freaking out. This is ... perfect." Spencer glanced up at him, her eyes wide and worried. Puck lifted his hands from her shoulders so that he could hold her face in his hands. "You're perfect." Spencer's skeptical look clearly said that she didn't believe him. He smiled and shook his head before he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. "Absolutely perfect."

Spencer smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "So are you," she whispered, standing on her tiptoes so that she could kiss back as fiercely as Puck was kissing her. And then, that was all Puck needed, his hands dropped from her face to her hips and he walked her backwards toward his bed, stopping only once the back of her legs had hit his mattress. Spencer gasped and then began to giggle once Puck began to gently push her backwards. "Noah!" she gasped as he followed her, using his hands to brace himself so that he didn't land on top of the small girl below him. He let out a playful growl before kissing down Spencer's jaw, and her neck. She seemed to be really into that up until he let his tongue playfully lick at the dip in her collar bone. And then she was giggling all over again. "That tickles!"

Puck groaned, how was this going to work out if none of his usual tricks worked? Spencer laughed at his groan and used one of her hands to lift his chin back up to her face. Puck smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her again. Spencer let her tongue slip out from between her lips to slide across Puck's lower lip, silently asking him to open his mouth. Puck was never one to reject a girl's tongue in his mouth so he happily obliged. He smiled into the kiss as Spencer's tongue languidly stroked around the inside of his mouth. He moaned, needing more and Spencer giggled into his mouth before gently sucking his bottom lip into her mouth and biting down softly on it.

Puck had always prided himself in the fact that he was always the one in control, he enjoyed himself, but he never got overwhelmed. Spencer was trying to ruin that for him, and she was doing a damn good job at it too. He was about to reign himself back in when Spencer let her hand drift up his shirt, her fingernails scraping over his abs. She gently bit his lip again trying to keep herself from laughing at the strangled sound that erupted from Puck before he quickly flipped them over so that she was now laying on top of him.

She lifted herself off of Puck enough that she could slip both of her hands under his shirt. Puck didn't make a noise at the loss of contact, but his frown must have been enough for her because she smiled and shook her head. "This needs to come off," she whispered, pushing his shirt further up his chest. And then the fact that Spencer wasn't kissing him anymore wasn't a bad thing, because she wanted him to take his shirt off. He grinned at her and sat up slightly, lifting his hands off of her hips so that the two of them could slip his shirt over his shoulders.

"You want to get me naked?" he teased with a chuckle as he laid himself back down on the bed and grinned up at the small girl. She giggled and nodded before she lowered her head so that she could press slow, gentle, openmouthed kisses down his chest. "No!" he said, shaking his head and wrapped his hands around her upper arms to stop her from going any lower. "That's not fair, I lose my shirt, you lose your dress."

He expected Spencer to smile at him and sit up so that he could take her dress off, but she didn't. She sat up, but there was no trace of a smile on her face, in fact, her eyes looked, nervous and hesitant. And then it clicked, she wasn't wearing her wig or her hat. She was completely bald and she was nervous. A pink blush colored her cheeks as she glanced down at her hands on his chest, afraid to make eye contact with him. "Hey," he breathed, letting his hands run up and down Spencer's arms in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. "Hey, don't do that. Don't hide from me. You're beautiful." She glanced up at him, her blue eyes nervous, "You're beautiful," he whispered again, craning his neck so that he could press a soft kiss onto Spencer's lips. "Absolutely, completely, utterly beautiful," he breathed, pressing a hard kiss onto Spencer's lips in between each word, punctuating them.

He pulled away just enough to look into Spencer's eyes to see if his words were making an impact on her. He had never been one for building up a girl's self-esteem, but he would spend the entire night whispering to Spencer if that's what she needed to hear. He drew his brows together, worry lines creasing his forehead. "Okay?" he asked softly. Spencer bit her lip nervously for a moment before she nodded allowing her lips to slip into a smile. Puck nodded. "You're beautiful," he whispered one final time as he reached his arm around her back and began to play with the zipper. "Is this okay?" he asked, not wanting to take this further than Spencer was ready for.

Spencer didn't nod or say anything in response to this question. Instead she simply reached behind her and began to unzip the dress for him. Puck took that as a _yes_ and quickly unzipped the dress. He sat up on his bed, allowing Spencer to settle herself on his lap before he began to pull the dress over her head. He let out a low appreciative whistle when he noticed what she was wearing underneath the pretty sundress. It was made out of yellow lace and was practically see-through, a babydoll top with a low cut v above her breasts and an opening in the front that revealed most of her flat stomach, the look was completed with a matching yellow lace thong. He growled in excitement and glanced up at Spencer's nervous but playful blue eyes. "Santana?" he asked as he reached out, gently laying his hand on her flat stomach. Spencer bit her lip and nodded with a smile. Puck grinned, "Remind me to thank her tomorrow," he breathed as he leaned forward to pepper light kisses across Spencer's chest.

"Kurt helped pick it out too," Spencer gasped as Puck let his teeth scrape against her collarbone.

"Then thank you Kurt and Santana!" Puck whispered with a chuckle before he flipped them over, laying a giggling Spencer on the bed beneath him and allowing his mouth and teeth to resume their previous actions.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Some more fluff. But it's happy fluff which is nice.  
>Please send review love. I live off the stuff.<br>See you back here soon.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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I would just like to take a moment to apologize for the long wait I've put you guys through. Real life has really gotten in the way.  
>I got a job and the whole 9-6 thing is really getting to me, I don't know how people do it. And then the boyfriend decided that<br>he wanted to surprise me by asking for leave and coming to visit me for two weeks. (I always joked that the best thing about  
>dating a guy in the navy was that I saw him so rarely and for such short periods of time that he could never be a nuisance but<br>I was wrong.) Anyway, I'm back and while updates might be kind of slow they should never be this slow again.  
>And I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's more fluff, but I'm setting up something <strong>HUGE <strong>here, I promise.)

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><p>"How are you doing, baby girl? You look tired, are you okay?" Sebastian asked three days later when Spencer threw herself into the chair across from him at the Lima Bean. "I've missed you," he added, alluding to the fact that since Spencer's McKinley friends had come home for spring break he had hardly seen her. Spencer smiled apologetically and slid Sebastian's coffee order toward him, a silent peace offering. Sebastian smiled at the cup for a moment before he nodded and smiled at her. "You're forgiven," he said with a nod. "Now what was the big news you had to share with me? I could hardly sleep with the excitement," he added the last bit sarcastically.<p>

Spencer rolled her eyes and took a sip of her hot chocolate, she still wasn't allowed to have caffeine and it was really annoying her. "Noah and I had sex," she said with a grin as Sebastian choked on his drink. Once he had gotten his breathing under control Sebastian glanced at her with raised eyebrows and asked her why she thought he would want to know that. She grinned at him, "Just thought that you would want to know that you no longer have to play the role of my gay boyfriend. I'm truly and honestly back with the real one again. You are officially off the hook."

Sebastian chuckled at her and shook his head, "Baby girl," he said forcing his chuckles to turn into a soft smile, "I will always be your gay boyfriend unless you're thinking about replacing me with Porcelain or the Hobbit." Spencer rolled her eyes at that, ever since she had accidentally let Sue Sylvester's nick name for Kurt slip Sebastian had enjoyed annoying her by calling him _Porcelain_. Sebastian grinned at her and nudged her shin with his shoe. "I am your favorite gay, right?" he asked.

Spencer grinned at the small tinge of worry in Sebastian's voice. It was as if he was honestly worried that she liked Kurt or Blaine better than him. She used to, but now that she and Sebastian had become friends she found it hard to choose between them. She loved all of them. But instead of telling Sebastian that she loved him, that would only open her up for his ridicule, she opted for a joke. She shrugged, "I don't know, Santana's always held a special spot in my heart," she said, ending with a grin.

Sebastian smirked and nodded, "I'm sure that girl has a special spot in everyone's hearts. I won't lie, even I felt the ghost of sexual tension with her during senior year, and I was sure that I was as gay as men come." Spencer smiled at the memory of Sebastian and Santana's _Smooth Criminal_ battle, the Latina had been so excited and proud of herself for taping the tape recorder to her under boob. She pointed out that it shouldn't have been a surprise, Sebastian would always be attracted to tricky people. Sebastian nodded, "Doesn't explain why I'm so attached to you," he said with a shrug as he took a sip of his coffee.

Spencer shrugged in return and smiled at him, "People either love me or they hate me," she said softly. "And with the cancer thing it's like a hook ... people feel bad for me and instantly like me," she admitted. That's why she didn't like telling people about the cancer, she didn't want to spend her time wondering if new people in her life liked her because she was likable or if because they felt bad about the cancer. Sebastian seemed to understand her better than she gave him credit for because he nodded and asked her why she had told him about the cancer - she obviously didn't like the sympathy. She grinned, "That's easy, you're such a despicable human being that I figured you weren't capable of feeling sympathy. You could be an objective outsider."

Sebastian grinned at her, "Except I'm neither of those things," he said softly. Spencer nodded, but kept silent, she leaned back into her chair until she could place both of her legs in Sebastian's lap, sure that he would be able to tell how happy she was just from that motion. It seemed as though he did, he reached into his bag and pulled out a book, holding it open with one hand and rubbing Spencer's calves with the other. Spencer pulled out a book as well and the two of them read in a companionable silence for about an hour before Puck showed up.

"Hey Baby, Asshole," Puck greeted as he walked up behind Spencer's chair and placed his hands on her shoulders. Spencer was startled by his approach and let out a small squeal as his hands landed on her shoulders. He grinned down at her and repeated his greeting in a softer tone, "Hey Baby," he said again as he leaned down and pressed a kiss onto her soft lips. "How's your morning been?"

"Good," Spencer said with a nod as she gestured to the seat next to her. She straightened up in her chair a bit, but didn't pull her legs out of Sebastian's lap. "And don't call him an asshole. He's my friend."

"He can call me whatever he wants," Sebastian sneered, closing his book and glaring at Puck, "I mean it takes an asshole to know one."

"Bas!" Spencer admonished with a glare. She turned to look at Puck and forced herself not to allow her glare to soften just because she was looking at her boyfriend, "Noah." Both boys looked up at her as if she had just slapped at them, she forced herself not to smile at the nervous way Puck bit his lip. "Like it or not you are both in my life, you are both important parts of my life. And I will not have you fighting with each other or whatever the hell this is. I'm obviously pretty important to both of you which means you guys are going to see a lot of each other. So get over ... this!" she ended, gesturing to the space between the two men. She glared at both of them for another moment or two before she stood up from her chair, she pressed a kiss onto Puck's cheek before moving around the table and kissing Sebastian's cheek as well. "I'm going to go hang out with someone else. And I don't want to hear from either of you until you've apologized and have come up with a plan for how you are going to start getting along." And then with one last look at the surprised boys she grabbed her bag and stormed out, trying to ignore the pain in her legs.

-.-.-.-.-

"So where's Noah?" Rachel asked as Spencer joined the large group of New Directions kids at their table at Breadstix. It was everyone's last night in Lima and they had decided to have a goodbye diner instead of going to the karaoke bar. Soon after she had started undergoing chemo once a week Spencer had realized that alcohol wasn't the best thing to put in her body anymore. Spencer looked around the table, she hadn't talked to Puck for two days, ever since she had stormed out on him and Sebastian at the Lima Bean. She hadn't heard from Sebastian either which surprised her, she hadn't expected the two boys to take her outburst seriously.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I have no idea," she said, moving to pull her phone out of her purse so that she could send her boyfriend a text message. "I don't think he has work tonight. The last time I talked to him he said he was coming."

"The last time you talked?" Rachel asked, picking up on Spencer's wording. "Are you guys okay? You aren't fighting or something like that are you? I don't think we could handle going through that again."

Spencer opened her mouth to reassure her friend, but Santana beat her to it. "Of course they're not fighting!" the Latina yelled from her spot at the opposite end of the table. "They finally had sex." She leaned across the table to high five Kurt as if this was their own personal victory. Rachel's eyes widened in surprise. Finn let out a happy sound that clearly stated that he was excited for his friends. Sam smiled and shook his head, choosing not to comment on it while Britney squealed excitedly and clapped.

"How was it?" Kurt asked, turning to look at Spencer and wondering if he would be able to pry any juicy details out of his friend.

"Best sex she's ever had," a voice said from behind her. This time Spencer didn't squeal when Puck placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her. "And that includes you, Evans," he added, lifting his head to make eye contact with Sam before sitting in the seat next to Spencer and turning to look at her. "How are you, Spence?"

Spencer smiled when she heard Sam call _you wish_ from down the table before she answered Puck's question. "I'm good," she said with a nod. "You need to stop sneaking up on me like that though," she said with a pointed look. Puck didn't respond besides to lean in and press a kiss to her cheek. "Did you and Seb?" she asked, not wanting to say much more with Rachel sitting next to them listening to every word they said.

Puck nodded, "We'll play nice now," he said with a smile as he pulled a menu closer to him. Spencer rolled her eyes, the entire group had been here so often that they didn't really need the menus. Most of them already knew what they wanted. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked in a would-be casual voice. "I didn't notice it until Seb brought it up, but you're looking really tired."

"I'm just not sleeping too well," Spencer whispered quietly, trying not to draw attention to their conversation. "Honestly, the two of you worry about me way too much. I had a meeting with Henderson two weeks ago and she said that everything was fine, that the cancer was shrinking on schedule. I'm fine." Puck looked like he wanted to argue his point further, but Spencer leaned closer to him and pressed her lips against his in a gentle kiss, "I'm fine," she said again, the finality in her voice putting an end to the discussion.

"Would you two get a room?" Blaine joked from his seat, finally pulling the pair into the group's conversation around the table.

"Only if you come too, Blaine honey," Spencer said with a joking grin and a lewd wink. "And bring that gorgeous boyfriend of yours with you." Blaine looked at Puck with raised eyebrows, silently asking Puck how he should respond to it.

Puck shrugged his shoulders with a smirk on his face as he draped his arm around the back of Spencer's chair. "I told you it was the best sex she ever had. She's looking for new ways to branch out now," he joked, pressing a kiss to the tip of Spencer's nose when she turned towards him and looked as though she wanted to argue. "I wouldn't be surprised if she's hitting up the entire group for an orgy next week." Spencer quickly told the group to ignore him and that she'd be doing no such thing.

Rachel surprised the group by smiling, "You have to admit," she said softly. "We'd make a pretty hot orgy." Everyone looked at the small brunette with wide eyes as if they weren't sure how to respond to her surprise perverted statement. Of course it was Puck who came out of the stupor first.

"Porno levels of hotness, Babe," he said, throwing her a wink and laughing as he ducked out of the way as both Spencer and Finn tried to hit him for jokingly flirting with Rachel. "What?" he asked with a chuckle as he sat up straight, sure that neither his best friend nor his girlfriend was going to try to hit him again. "It's the truth, we've got some hot girls and hot guys in this club."

Spencer shook her head and tried to bite back a smile before she turned to Tina and asked her how she was doing since Mike hadn't been in town for spring break. Tina had smiled at her and there was a look in her eyes that Spencer couldn't place that looked almost like her friend was trying to keep a secret from her. Spencer raised her eyebrows and got even more suspicious when she watched Tina's eyes dart to look at Santana as if she was worried about something. "Right," Tina said with a nod after an awkward amount of time. "I mean, I would have liked to have him here, but he had things he had to do and I'm going to see him like next weekend so it's not that bad."

"Next weekend?" Spencer asked, surprised at the news. "Are you going to New York or something for the weekend? That's a lot of traveling." Tina shook her head and said that they weren't going to meet in New York, they were going to meet up somewhere else. "Where?" Spencer asked, curious about what her two Asian friends had planned. "Come on, Tina!" she begged when the girl shook her head. "I'm stuck in Lima for the rest of the year, I live vicariously through you guys. The least you could do is tell me where you're going to meet your boyfriend for a romantic weekend away." Her begging didn't work, Tina refused to talk.

Spencer smiled thirty minutes later when Santana forcefully pushed Puck out of his seat and sat down next to her. "How are you baby?" she asked.

Spencer shook her head, "I'm fine, San," she said, reaching out and grabbing onto Santana's hand so that she could give it a soft squeeze as if it could prove her point. "I really just wish people would stop asking me. I'd really like to pretend I was normal on your last night in town as opposed to having everyone worried about me."

"It's because we love you if that's any consolation," Santana said with a shrug and a grimace as if she understood exactly how Spencer felt. "I mean you know the drill, it happened to Kurt when Mr. H. had his heart attack, and to me when I came out to my abuela, and to Quinn when she got in the car accident, and it even happened to Puck when they gave up Beth. It's how our group deals with pain, we worry and we constantly ask people how they're doing. And if things get really bad ... we dedicate songs to you and sing them at the most inopportune times." Spencer's eyes went wide, she was suddenly worried that her friends were going to burst out into song in the middle of the crowded restaurant under the misguided notion that she was so depressed that she needed that extreme kind of encouragement. Santana smiled at her, "Don't worry, your case isn't nearly hopeless enough for that yet," she said, laughing at Spencer's sigh of relief. "Honestly, we just want to make sure you know we care about you."

Spencer nodded, that she could understand. "I'm gonna miss you so much after you leave tomorrow!" she said, throwing her arms around her friend and pulling her into a tight hug. Santana laughed and didn't even hesitate before wrapping her arms just as tightly around Spencer and hugging back.

"It's not like I'm going to be gone for that long," she said. "You're going to see us sooner than you think. And you know, a while ago they made these things called phones. They're really useful because, you know - I've heard they allow you to talk to people that are hundreds and even thousands of miles away. And it makes it sound like they're in the same room as you. How amazing is that?"

Spencer rolled her eyes at Santana's thinly veiled attempt to shame her into calling more often before she caught on to something else that the Latina had said. "I'm going to see you guys sooner than I think?" she asked, raising her eyebrows and feeling the same suspicion she had earlier when she was talking to Tina.

"Yeah," Santana said, her eyes darting away from Spencer for a moment before landing on the girl again. "There's only really a month and a half before people start graduating and coming back home. We're all in Lima for the summer before spreading our wings and going out into the world." Spencer snorted at Santana's choice of words, the tall brunette laughed, "I picked Berry up to go shopping this morning and her fathers would not shut up about how it's almost time for all the little Glee Club birds to _spread their wings and leave the nest to soar_. I cannot be blamed for what wormed its way into my brain."

Spencer smiled as she leaned her head on her friend's shoulder and the two joined in the conversation that was going on around the table. Santana had done her best to distract her, and she was a better liar than Tina was, but Spencer was still suspicious of her friends. It seemed as though the entire group was up to something, but no one was letting her in on the secret. She turned her head to look at Puck and he winked at her, she smiled, he was in on the secret too, she could tell. Maybe she'd be able to convince him to tell her. Who knows, now that they were sleeping together he might be easy to crack.

She rolled her eyes when a second later he ruined the moment by making a blow job hand gesture with his fist and his tongue. She was dating a pervert.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck watched Spencer the entire time the group was at the restaurant. He wanted to believe that she was _fine_, to believe her when she told him that it was just that she wasn't sleeping well but a nagging voice in the back of his head wouldn't let him. She had been recovering from cancer their senior year and she hadn't told anyone. She had relapsed and she hadn't told anyone. It had taken the cancer spreading, getting worse, and threatening to kill her before she had opened up to the group and talked about what was going on with her body. She really didn't have the best track record for being honest when she said that she was fine. And that nagging voice in the back of his head was telling him that she was doing the same thing now. He and Sebastian had talked about it the other day after Spencer had left them in the Lima Bean together. And as much as Puck wanted to hate the ex Warbler bastard the kid knew what he was talking about.

He had asked if Puck had noticed the dark circles under Spencer's eyes, her slowed and delayed movements, the way she winced when she stood up or sat down as if her leg hurt. Puck had pointed out that Sebastian could have been overreacting, noticing things that weren't really there because he cared for and was worried about Spencer. But as Puck watched her now he realized that Sebastian had been watching her a lot more closely than Puck had been doing himself, he also realized that the bastard had been right. Everything he had mentioned was true. Puck's eyes tightened with worry as he watched Spencer carefully lower herself into a chair between Quinn and Artie, wincing slightly when her thigh made contact with the chair. How had he not noticed that before? Puck wondered. But when he looked around he noticed that nobody seemed to have noticed it because they weren't looking for it.

That was another one of Spencer's tricks. She was able to hide her condition because she knew the signs while other people didn't. She was able to keep the cancer secret because no one knew what they should be looking for. Her mother did though, Puck wondered if she had noticed this too or if Spencer was trying to hide it from her too. Sebastian Smythe knew what to look for too, and apparently he had noticed it. Puck briefly wondered why Sebastian knew what to look for, had he known someone with cancer before? He'd have to ask the next time he saw the boy, which according to Spencer wouldn't be that too far in the future.

Someone tapped Puck on the shoulder and he turned his head to see Rachel sitting next to him. "How's she doing?" Rachel asked, nodding toward Spencer while her thumb brushed over Finn's hand that was sitting in her lap. Puck smiled at the small brunette sitting next to him before turning back to look at the girl in the brunette wig down the table. He told Rachel that she was doing okay, he didn't share what he had noticed with her, didn't want to bring it up to anyone until he knew if it meant anything. Instead he told Rachel that Spencer was hopeful and looking forward to graduation, an event that would be coming up in a few short weeks. Rachel nodded, "Do you think she's going to like our surprise next week?" she asked him softly.

"She's going to love it Rach," Puck said, wondering why the small brunette seemed to need his reassurance. It hadn't really been her idea to begin with. And the small diva had never worried about interfering with people's lives when they were in high school. Was she maturing? Puck bit back a grin at that thought. Rachel nodded and answered his unasked question by telling him that she just wanted to make sure that the plan did not interfere with Spencer's healing process. Puck did grin at this one. "Last I checked flying on a plane did not cause cancer to spontaneously spread," he said. "And Stacey already checked with Dr. Henderson, the doc says that it's okay so it's going to be fine. Might actually make her happier than she is now, to be honest."

Rachel smiled up at him softly and lifted one of her hands to gently brush against his cheek. "I can't imagine anything making her happier than you are right now, Noah." she said, turning to look down the table where Quinn and Spencer were laughing at something Artie had said, their arms thrown around each other's backs, Spencer's head resting on Quinn's shoulder while Quinn's head rested on top of Spencer's, their laughter had this musical quality to it that caused other diners to turn to look at the two beautiful girls with smiles on their faces instead of annoyance at the noise disrupting their meals. Puck nodded, she was happier now than he had ever seen her. And it was nice to know that Rachel suspected that he had played a part in that. "Will you be able to fly out to Providence with her?" Rachel asked.

Puck shook his head, his eyes never leaving his girlfriend's face as he spoke to Rachel. "I was planning on it. Tommy even gave me the days off at the garage. But I heard back from some of the schools Spencer made me apply to. I will be doing interviews while you guys are all in Providence." Rachel looked confused for a moment and Puck realized that he had never told the group that Spencer had convinced him to start applying to real schools. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen before turning to look at Rachel. "Spencer decided that now that she's getting better it is time for me to start thinking about colleges. We filled out applications for school with good architecture programs last month. With a little luck I might be going to college next year."

Rachel stared at him for a moment before she laughed and removed her hand from Finn's grasp so that she could throw both of her hands around Puck's neck. "This is why you guys should have gotten together in high school!" she cooed as she pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "You two are so good for each other!"

Puck smiled at her, his smile turning into a full blown laugh when a moment later Spencer called down to them from her end of the table. "Hey Berry! Keep your hands off my man! You had your chance with him. Now he's all mine!"

Rachel laughed in response and tightened her arms around his neck before placing an over exaggerated, joking kiss on Puck's other cheek before pulling away and returning her hands and probably her lips back to Finn. Puck stood up and walked down to the table until he was standing behind Spencer's chair. He squatted down so that he was closer to level with her, "All yours," he said softly, pressing a kiss onto the back of her neck at the very top of her spine. He didn't miss the sharp intake of breath and the way she leaned back to press further into his touch. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her from behind. When he was in high school he had never understood the appeal of being in a steady relationship. But he saw it now, and he would be here for as long as Spencer would have him.

The group stayed for another hour before the restaurant kicked them out. They said their goodbyes in the parking lot. This time it was less teary than it had been at Christmas. Spencer was getting better so no one in the group had to worry about not seeing her again. And although Spencer didn't know it yet, they would all be seeing each other the next weekend, except for Puck that is. But still, it did not surprise him when Spencer got at least two hugs from everyone in the group before they all got in their cars. They held hands as they walked back to Puck's truck, Puck helped her into the seat and tried not to frown when she winced again as she sat down. He climbed into the driver's seat and opened his mouth, prepared to ask her what was going on but Spencer interrupted him before he got a chance to find his voice. "Noah?" she asked softly, reaching out and placing a soft hand on his thigh, her fingertips brushing against the inside of his leg.

"Yes?" Puck asked, trying to hide the way his breath hitched at the movement. The soft smirk resting on Spencer's soft lips told him that she knew exactly what she was doing to him. Something, that he wasn't sure he wanted her to know, but he didn't seem to have a choice.

She carefully scooted over in the seat, wincing again before placing her chin on his shoulder and bringing her lips to his ear. Her tongue darted out softly, just barely touching his ear lobe, but that combined with her breath ghosting over the shell of his ear was enough to make Puck let out a low, desperate groan. Her smirk got bigger and more obvious. "Take me to bed or lose me forever," she breathed softly, he hand moving up on his leg, making it dangerous for him to drive.

Puck swallowed, noticing the way Spencer's blue eyes tracked the movement of his adam's apple. Apparently he affected her just as much as she affected him. At least they were on a level playing field. "Yeah," he said with a nod. "Okay."

-.-.-.-.-

A week later Spencer was in the kitchen getting ready to make pancakes when someone rang her doorbell. She glanced at the clock, it was ten in the morning. Puck had left for his college interviews the day before, Toby was at school, Sebastian had told her that they couldn't hang out that weekend because he _planned on being busy_. She couldn't think of anyone who would be at her door. She opened it cautiously, irrationally afraid of burglars and let out a surprised squeal when she realized that Mike Chang was standing on her front steps. "Mike?" she asked as she opened the door wider to let Mike walk into her house.

Mike smiled at her and pulled her into a tight hug for a moment or two before he pulled away again. "Go up to your mom's closet, she packed your weekend bag and come back down here. Your mom knows your leaving so don't bother with a note or trying to call her. And no questions. You have two minutes to get your bag and change clothes before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out to my car." Spencer stared at him with wide eyes, wondering what the hell Mike was doing at her house. Mike sighed, "What part of _two minutes_ do you not understand?" he asked, gently nudging her toward the stairs. "And wear flip flops!" he added as an after thought as Spencer finally started to listen to him and began to climb the stairs.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Just some happy New Directions fluff. Be prepared there will be more in the next chapter. And then things will get drastically less fluffy.  
>I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! You should <strong>review<strong> to let me know.  
>Yeah?<br>So normally, I would reply to your reviews on the last chapter here, and I will during my next update. But it's late and I need to be up early for work tomorrow,  
>And I want to get this out to you as quickly as I can. So I'm going to forgo responding today.<br>But that in no way means that you shouldn't review!  
>So do it.<br>Please?  
>Send me a private message if you have anything that needs to be answered immediately (or just something nice to say). I always respond to those as soon as I get them.<br>And I'll see you back here really soon.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.  
>ps. Happy 4th of July to any readers from the United States! Did you guys see the fireworks?<p> 


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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And I suck at updating guys. I'm so sorry for that. :(  
>Hopefully I still have some readers after that super long and unannounced hiatus I took.<br>Once again, I am so sorry.

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><p>"Mikey," Spencer begged as her friend pulled her out of the cab and toward the sliding doors of the airport. "I refuse to go any further until you tell me where we're going!" Mike shot her a look that clearly told her that he would pick her up and carry her into the airport if she didn't start moving again. She sighed, "Can you at least give me a hint? I don't understand what you're doing here. Spring break was last week. And how can you afford to keep flying across the country? Flights are pretty expensive. How can I afford to fly to where ever we're going?"<p>

Mike sighed and tightened his grip on Spencer's hand, lacing their fingers together so that it was a little easier to keep track of her in the crowds. "I don't have Friday or Monday classes," he said with a shrug. "I liked the idea of long weekends. Yes spring break was last week and I hardly got to see you. I told you before," he paused and sighed as if Spencer was some kind of hassle, "frequent flyer miles. And you don't have to worry about affording this ticket, your mother and father bought it for you. Although, your mother didn't tell me that you were going to be so stubborn and difficult."

Spencer rolled her eyes, wondering if she should be insulted by Mike's statement. "Will you at least tell me what gate we're going to?" she asked him as they got in line for the screening process, Mike's demand that she wear flip flops suddenly made sense. Mike chuckled, he hadn't let her see the tickets and told her that they were going to gate 16C. Not that the gate number really meant anything to Spencer. She had a feeling that was why he had allowed her to know.

The screening didn't take long because they were both wearing flip flops and sweat pants and Spencer's mom had made sure to adhere to the airline's rules about fluids. Soon they were sitting at their gate waiting for their plane to arrive. It seemed that Mike had been worried that it would take longer than it had and so they arrived two hours early. Spencer settled in her seat and leaned her head against Mike's shoulder. She knew that she should be mad at him for effectively kidnapping her and refusing to tell her where they were going, but she couldn't do it. He was one of her best friends and she trusted and loved him. Whatever he had planned was going to be amazing, she knew it. She reached down and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I've missed you, Mikey," she said softly, not sure if he would even be able to hear her.

The soft kiss that was pressed onto the top of her head was enough to tell her that he had heard her. "I've missed you too, Spence," he said with a chuckle. "But you don't need to sound so sad about things, you're making this sound like it's a goodbye or something."

"Well isn't it?" Spencer asked, not tilting her head so that she could look at Mike without lifting her head off of his shoulder. "One last hooray before you go off to New York forever to be amazing and I never see you again?" That was hard for her to say, but she did it because it was the way she saw things. All of her friends were going to be graduating in the spring and going off into the world to do amazing things and she was, well she was pretty sure that she wasn't.

Mike turned to look at her, concern flashing in his eyes as if he realized that there was some important truth behind Spencer's words. "What are you talking about, Anderson?" he asked unhappily. "You're going to be the one in the big city being amazing. You, Rachel, and Kurt were going to take Broadway by storm, remember?" Spencer nodded and smiled at him, but she must not have been too convincing because Mike's confused face turned skeptical, "What is this really about, Spencer?" he asked. "Is there something wrong that you're just not telling us?" Spencer shook her head with a soft smile on her face and told him to stop being ridiculous. Mike scoffed, "Considering that it took you five years to tell us that you were recovering from cancer and that you tried to hide a relapse is it really that ridiculous to wonder if you're hiding something?" When Spencer didn't reply he nodded, "I didn't think so."

Spencer smiled and squeezed his hand. "It's really nothing to worry about," she soothed, running her thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm just in a mood. No need to worry about me."

Mike laced their fingers together and gave her hand a squeeze of his own. "We worry about you all the time," he said softly. "Do you want to walk around the terminal for a bit while we wait?" he asked, changing the subject. The point of this trip was to get Spencer's mind off of the cancer and to make her happy. Not to make her sad by only talking about cancer and how much everyone worried about her. Spencer nodded and stood up quickly, letting out a soft gasp as she swayed on her feet and almost crashed on the ground. Mike caught her with a call of "Woah!" Once he was sure she was steady on her feet with his arm wrapped around her waist he asked her what had happened.

Spencer shook her head as if it was nothing to worry about. "I'm fine," she said softly. "I really am. I just stood up too quickly and got a bit dizzy. It happens sometimes when the iron in my blood is low. The chemo makes me basically anemic and sometimes I'll pass out if I stand up too quickly. I'll be okay now though."

Mike didn't look like he truly believed her, but he nodded, seeming to decide that she knew more about this than he did. Besides, her mom had said that this was going to be fine. He was probably just overreacting, like Puck did, like the entire group did. Because they understood what it felt like to be close to losing Spencer. They were all weary because that was one thing that they did not want to happen. Still he watched her carefully as they walked around the terminal. She was moving slower than normal, breathing a bit more heavily, and every couple yards she would lean against him or a wall as if she was too dizzy to continue walking. A nagging voice in the back of his head told him that this was more than simple chemotherapy induced anemia.

They walked for an hour before they made it back to their gate to wait for their boarding call. Mike kept a tight grip on Spencer's hand, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep their destination a secret for much longer. The excited look on Spencer's face told him that she knew this too. He smiled softly at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze as the stewardess walked up to the intercom and announced that they would now begin boarding for flight 261 non-stop to Providence, Rhode Island.

-.-.-.-.-

The flight took a little less than three hours and it was during this time that Mike finally allowed himself to relax. He realized that if the smile on Spencer's face was anything to go by this was the best thing for her at the time. She had gasped in excitement when she heard their destination and had actually squealed when they got to their seats on the plane. She was not only looking forward to the trip, but honestly and completely thrilled about Mike's surprise. He had leaned closer to her about halfway through the flight to tell her that the destination wasn't even the best part of their weekend plans. She had grinned up at him and stuck her tongue out, teasing him about the fact that he wasn't going to share the better plans with her, was he? Mike had shook his head and expected her to pout and demand that he tell her, but she had settled back into her seat, leaned her head against his shoulder, and told him that she trusted him.

Then she had fallen asleep until the plane was taxiing into the gate in Providence. She lifted her head off of his shoulder and leaned around him so that she could look out the window at the runway. "I've missed this place," she said softly, making Mike grin when he pointed out that they were still at the airport, not really anything to miss. She sighed, "It's not that it's the airport," she said softly. "It's that it's the airport in Providence. Don't you get that feeling about New York? When you fly into JFK or LaGuardia? Doesn't it feel like you're finally home?" Mike nodded because he did understand, that was exactly how he felt when he flew into the city.

"You're going to start feeling that soon," he said, bringing up his statement from earlier. "Don't think I'm about to let you give up your dreams of dancing in New York City." Spencer smiled up at him, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. Mike sighed, she was obviously hiding something from him, or worried about something but he knew that it didn't matter how much he pushed her. She wasn't going to tell him what was bothering her. "Are you ready for the second part of your surprise?" he asked, gesturing for her to stand up so that they could grab their bags and get off the plane. Spencer nodded and within ten minutes they were making their way out of the airport, the fact that they didn't need to stop by baggage claim helping speed their process along.

Spencer sighed happily and leaned against Mike's tall frame as they walked toward the sliding glass doors. Mike wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss onto the top of her head before he smiled and chuckled at the surprised gasp that escaped Spencer's lips once they had walked outside of the airport. Because there, on the sidewalk stood all of their friends from New Directions, minus Puck, with smiles on their faces, balloons in their hands, and a giant sign that read _Welcome Home Spencer! _in big, bold letters. Spencer dropped her bag in surprise and turned wide, surprised eyes on Mike for a moment before turning to look at the rest of the smiling group. "You guys," she said breathlessly as Britney broke away from the group, surging forward so that she could wrap her arms around Spencer's waist and pull her into a hug. "What?" Spencer asked, hugging Britney back, but still trying to process what was going on around her. "I don't understand what you're all doing here!"

"You didn't think we were going to miss your big sh-" Britney started, but quickly shut up with Santana moved forward and stepped lightly on her girlfriend's foot, silently telling the blonde to shut up.

"Your homecoming?" the Latina asked with a smile. "We weren't going to miss this for the world."

"My homecoming?" Spencer asked, repeating the word as if she still didn't understand what any of her friends were talking about. "But I didn't even know that I was coming here," she added, looking over her shoulder at Mike as if he could shed some light on the situation for her. It was Mercedes that finally helped her out though.

"Sweetheart," Mercedes said, stepping forward and reaching for Spencer's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "This year's been hard for you. We all know it, despite how much you try to pretend that you're fine with everything. You're not and that's okay. Not only did you relapse, but you were forced to leave school and then the cancer spread. And we know that it must be hard to deal with, sure you've got Puck and he's been working wonders for you, but we've all felt bad and wondered if we weren't doing enough to help you. We realized that you missed Providence and Brown. So we decided to bring you home for the weekend."

Blaine nodded, "Yeah, you can show us around. We can meet your friends, go out to eat, maybe meet those high schoolers that you were working with before you went back to Lima? We just want you to have fun this weekend. We worry about you in Lima. Kurt keeps talking about how he worries that you might get depressed there. We wanted to make sure that you got to see your college friends before graduation, got a chance to feel like an actual college student again?"

Spencer laughed at her friends and nodded before gesturing that she wanted a group hug from everyone. "Thank you guys so much!" she said, reaching her hand up to brush some tears from her eyes. "Seriously, this is the best thing anyone has ever done for me. I just wish Noah was here too, then it would be perfect." Mike nodded and told her that he knew for a fact that Puck was wishing the same thing. She smiled, "You guys really are the best friends anyone could ever ask for."

They spent the afternoon and evening touring Providence and Brown. Spencer brought them to her old dorm to meet her roommates and to the dance studio she used to take classes in. They walked around the town to see all of her favorite spots before they stopped to eat dinner at her favorite restaurant, Camille's. Everyone in the group had been amazed by the sheer number of Italian restaurants in Providence, considering that they were used to Breadstix. Then they had gone back to their hotel rooms to watch some movies and fall asleep. No one would explain what they had planned for the next day but they told her that it was going to be a busy day. Spencer made it through two movies before she fell asleep sandwiched between Kurt and Blaine with her head resting on Kurt's shoulder.

Blaine waited until the end of the third movie before he picked her up and carried her across the hall to the room the girls were staying in and put her in her bed. When he walked back to the room the guys were sleeping in he gave everyone a concerned look, "She's really light," he said, a nervous tinge to his voice. "Too light. I remember dancing with her in high school, and she didn't feel so insignificant then. Puck said that she was gaining weight, but it doesn't feel like it."

Mike nodded, glad to know that he wasn't the only one concerned about Spencer. "She says that she's okay, though," he said, glancing around at the rest of the group. "We have to trust her. She knows what she's dealing with better than we do."

-.-.-.-.-

They had a lazy morning with a room service breakfast before they logged onto Skype so that they could talk to Puck. "Hey Baby!" Puck cooed when he answered the video call. His eyes zeroed in immediately on Spencer and he ignored everyone else that was huddled around her trying to get a look at him. "How are you? Are these jokers treating you right?"

"Hello Noah!" Spencer called, blowing him a small kiss before bursting out into giggles and burying her face in Kurt's shoulder as if she felt embarrassed to be having this conversation with her boyfriend with all of her friends around her. "They're treating me perfectly," she added once she was finally able to lift her head off of Kurt's shoulder. "But I miss you! I wish you were here with me."

Puck smiled at the pretty pout resting on Spencer's lips and nodded. "I know, Spence. I wish I was there too. But a little monkey made me apply for schools and strangely enough some of them were interested in me. So now I've got to follow through and make sure that they stay interested in me."

Spencer giggled, but it was Rachel who responded to him. "There's nothing surprising or strange about that, Noah!" she scolded. "Any of those schools would be lucky to have you as a student. What I find surprising is that it took you so long to get your butt moving and to start applying."

Puck's gaze landed on Spencer again, his eyes roving over her image as if he was trying to drink her in from thousands of miles away. "There was a reason I needed to be in Lima this year," he said, not taking his eyes off of Spencer's face. "It took me a while to figure it out, but someone needed me there. And it turns out that I needed them too."

Spencer smiled at that, "Thank you Baby," she breathed before changing the subject. "So how's Texas? Do you absolutely love it? I couldn't think of anything cool about Texas for the pros and cons list, but there's got to be something right?"

Puck nodded, "It's actually pretty cool," he said with a grin. "One of the other kids applying for the architecture program took me out last night to play disc golf." Mike snorted at that and whispered _dork_ under his breath just loud enough for Puck to hear him. Puck frowned and shot a playful glare at his friend, "Don't knock it till you try it. I had fun." Spencer made a soothing noise and tried to calm Puck down. He grinned at her, "So what's on the agenda for today guys?"

"We're going to meet those high school students that Spencer had been working with," Quinn said with a wink at Puck as she leaned forward to nudge Spencer's shoulder. "Spencer called them yesterday to set it up. We're doing lunch and then they have some performance that they want to bring her to."

Spencer nodded, "Apparently they've been a part of a dance program at their high school and their final performance is this weekend. This couldn't have happened any better if it was planned." She didn't notice the smiles and winks in Puck's direction from the friends grouped around her. "And they want me to meet their new dance instructor, apparently he's pretty amazing." Mike grinned at this. Puck smiled at her and told her to have fun. She nodded, "I will. To be honest I've missed these kids," she admitted, glancing behind her to look at the clock. "I'm going to go take a shower, but I'll text you later and call you tonight?" she asked.

Puck nodded and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying _I love you_. He knew that he did. And he was pretty sure that she loved him too. But he didn't want the first time he said it to be over Skype in front of all of their friends. "Take care of yourself," he said instead with a nod.

"Always do!" Spencer said before climbing off the bed and heading toward the bathroom so that she could take a shower.

Puck waited until he heard the bathroom door shut before he turned to look at the rest of his group. "She doesn't really take care of herself," he pointed out unnecessarily. "So I'm counting on you guys to take care of her." His gaze landed on each of his friends, making sure that it was clear that he was counting on each of them, even Brittany, his gaze landed on Finn last, his best friend, the one he could count on more than anyone. Finn nodded, silently taking the brunt of the responsibility without complaint. Puck stared hard at him for another moment before he nodded, "Okay," he said, his stern face finally breaking into a smile. "Now let me tell you about this school, I love it."

-.-.-.-.-

Lunch with Spencer's high school students had been crazy and chaotic but amazing. It was clear from the moment they walked into the restaurant that they loved Spencer. The one who seemed to be the leader of the group, Mike guessed Kevin, jumped up the moment he saw Spencer walking toward their table and ran over to her so that he could hug her. The girl giggled as the younger, taller boy picked her up and spun her around in a tight circle, yelling excitedly the entire time. At the end of the second full circle Spencer gently slapped him on one of his shoulders, "Put me down, idiot, you're going to make me sick."

The blonde boy nodded and set her down gently on her feet. "How are you, Spencer?" he asked, ignoring the other New Directions members around them, only looking at the small girl who was now tucked under his arm. "We haven't talked in a while? You could have ended up missing our final performance." The last part was said in an almost scolding tone, meant to make her feel bad for the fact that she had basically dropped off the face of the planet at the end of her fall semester.

Spencer frowned and nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. Things just got ... pretty crappy. And it was easier to run away from my problems than to try to face them. But I'm here now," she turned to gesture at Mike, "And this guy right here is the one you have to thank for that." She turned and gestured the rest of the high school students over so that she could introduce them. "Guys there's are my best friends in the whole world: Mike, Tina, Brittany, Santana, Quinn, Blaine, Kurt - feel free to call them Klaine, I sometimes do. Then there's Rachel, Finn, Artie, Mercedes, and Sam. There's another guy that should be here, Noah, my boyfriend, but he's touring schools out in Texas right now. New Directions these were the high schoolers I was working with: Kevin, Matt, John, Zach, Addie, Allison, Leslie, Cory, Carrie, Lio, Emily, Samantha, Dylan, and Kelsey."

There was an awkward messy moment when everyone was trying to shake everyone else's hands before the group decided to go to the table to eat. Spencer found herself tucked between Sam and Mercedes as they walked toward the table. She smiled up at the two of them. "Thank you guys for coming," she said softly as Sam pulled out a seat for her and pushed the chair in for her once she had sat down. "Really, this is amazing that you all would travel out here for this. Thank you." Then she turned to look solely at Sam, a playful stern look on her face. "But if you don't stop treating me like you think I'm going to collapse at any moment I swear to God that I will kill you in your sleep tonight."

"I was just trying to be a gentleman," Sam said with a shrug.

"And that's sweet," Spencer said with a sarcastic smile. "But I am fully capable of pushing my own chair into the table. I don't need help on everything. You're going to make me feel sicker than I already am if you keep this up." Sam nodded and apologized to her, but she waved off his apology and turned to the conversations going around the table, trying to catch up with everything that had been happening in her high schoolers lives since she had left. She would have to thank Mike and her mother for this repeatedly, because this weekend was exactly what she needed. The only thing that would have made it better was if Noah was there, but she was glad that he was off looking at schools, because that was something that he needed.

Once lunch was done the group piled into four separate cabs to travel to the Brown performance theater, apparently the high school group's new instructor had been able to pull quite a few strings for the group. Spencer was happy for them, they deserved the best, but she felt a twinge of jealousy when she realized that some stranger had been able to help the kids when she had not been able to. She quickly swallowed that thought as she followed Quinn toward a seat near the front of the theater as the high schoolers went back stage to change into their costumes and get ready.

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked as he sat down on Spencer's other side and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Is this hard for you?"

Spencer nodded, "A little," she admitted, not worried about her friend's judging her for how she really felt. "But mostly I'm happy. I felt horrible when I realized that I wasn't going to be able to come back here and finish this for them. They had worked so hard during the fall semester and a lot of them needed this performance to get into college and I was worried that I had left them high and dry. So I'm glad that they found a new instructor and that they were able to put this together. They deserve it, I'm just," she paused, "a little jealous that I wasn't the one able to do it for them, you know?"

Mike nodded and bit back a grin, because Spencer didn't know that in theory she had been the one to do it for them. She just hadn't been the one to teach them. He couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face when Kevin walked out onto the stage a moment later though. He smiled at the applause he received from the New Directions group, friends, and parents before walking up to a microphone that had been set up at the front of the stage. "Before we start the performance the group has asked me to thank two very important people. Without these two people we wouldn't be here today." Spencer flinched at this, feeling guilty that she hadn't helped the kids at all. "First we'd like to thank our last minute instructor Mike Chang for using his spring break to fly out here and teach us the routines that you're about to see. We were completely lost before you emailed me and asked if that was okay, man."

Mike lifted a hand and grinned as he acknowledged the applause he received. Spencer turned her head and stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. This was the last thing she had expected to hear. Mike leaned in close to her and kissed her on the cheek before whispering in her ear, "You didn't really think it was a coincidence that we came the weekend of their performance did you?" he teased as the applause settled down and Kevin prepared to speak again.

"We'd also like to acknowledge the Brown dance program panel of professors that are here today to judge and score Spencer Anderson's Capstone project. We know that she said that she was going to write a paper instead of doing the project, but we couldn't let her do that. Her choreography was amazing and it was something that you guys needed to see." Spencer had been sure that she couldn't be more surprised after she had learned that Mike had taught the students, but she was floored by this information. She looked around surprised as all of her New Directions friends began to cheer loudly, telling her that they had all been in on the plan. She honestly couldn't believe what was happening. Her eyes got even wider as the rest of the high school group walked out onto the stage and Kevin started talking again. "And last, but definitely not least we'd like to thank Spencer Anderson for not only starting this project, but for not giving up on it or us even when she faced extreme hardships in her life. Stand up Spencer," he said as all the high schoolers began to applaud for her. "This one's for you."

And then the group left the stage, bringing the microphone with them and the lights turned off, signaling the beginning of the performance. Spencer sat back down in her seat and reached out to grab Mike's hand. "I think that I should be angry at you for keeping this from me," she said softly. "But I can't. Thank you so much for this!"

Mike disentangled his hand from Spencer's grasp so that he could wrap it around her shoulders. He pressed a kiss onto Spencer's temple as Quinn placed a gentle hand on her knee and gave a squeeze. "Anything for you, Spence," he said honestly. "I mean that."

Spencer was about to tell him thank you again and that she would probably owe him for the rest of her life, but the lights came back on and the music started and she was distracted. Mike grinned as he looked over at her and saw tears sparkling in her eyes as she watched her choreography and hard work come alive on stage. Despite the fact that the group had only had about three weeks to learn and practice the routine they were flawless. Everything was perfect and they executed each of the complicated dance steps without a hitch. He felt a bit of pride blossom in his chest and could only imagine how Spence felt. He had only been working with these kids for a short time. Spencer had been working with them for months. This routine and these kids were her masterpiece.

The routine lasted twenty minutes and when the house lights came back on the kids and Spencer received a standing ovation. Kevin and Kelsey walked off the stage and grabbed Spencer's hand so that they could pull her up on the stage. Spencer grabbed Mike's wrist and pulled him with her and the two bowed on stage with the high school dancers for a few minutes before everyone broke apart to receive congratulations from their parents and friends. After getting a hug from each of her high schoolers Spencer was headed back to the New Directions kids when one of her professors stopped her to tell her that that had been the best Capstone project he had seen in years. She smiled at him and thanked him before squealing and running back to her friends. "He said it was the best one he had ever seen!" she yelled once she had reached her friends. They cheered and began to jump around in excitement as they all crowded around her and Mike in an excited mob like group hug.

In the excitement no one noticed the way Spencer lifted her hand to her forehead as if her head hurt. They didn't realize the wobble to her legs or the way she flinched when someone accidentally bumped into her. But they did notice when she passed out and fell down to the floor. The last thing Spencer heard was Sam calling out her name as she dropped to the ground. Her last thought was, _this can't be happening now_.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>I'm so sorry guys! I suck!  
>Please don't hate me? I'll promise not to take anymore multi-month hiatuses any more!<br>Pinky swear!  
>I hope you liked this chapter (if some of my readers came back to read it...)<br>If you did let me know ... send me some review love.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Spencer drifted in and out of consciousness over the next few hours. She was never fully awake, but she was aware of what was going on around her. She was aware of the nervous tone to her friends' voices as they called and waited for an ambulance. She was aware that Finn called her mother and Rachel called Puck to tell them that she had passed out and that they were waiting for an ambulance to bring her to Memorial Hospital of Rhode Island, she wanted to tell them that the Miriam Hospital was closer, but she couldn't find her voice and she was sure that even if she could speak she wouldn't be heard over the noise of everyone freaking out anyway. But most of all she was aware of the fact that she was being touched. There were twelve hands touching her, holding her, running their hands through her hair all of her friends were trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, even though they had no idea what was wrong. She couldn't remember hearing the sirens of the ambulance, but she knew when the paramedics had arrived by the tone of Rachel's voice when she decided to take charge. "Be careful with her!" the small brunette ordered as if the paramedics didn't transport fragile and sick people all of the time. "She has cancer. You should probably know that. Do you think that has something to do with why she passed out? Why hasn't she woken up? Is this because of the cancer?"<p>

If she could have Spencer would have smiled when one of the paramedics none too politely asked Finn to restrain his girlfriend. She could just imagine Rachel trying to help the paramedics and actually getting in their way. The paramedics asked if anyone knew what kind of cancer Spencer had. She was surprised when Finn answered after just a brief second of hesitation. "Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma," he said with only a small tremor to his voice. The sudden silence from the group around him told Spencer that the entire group was as surprised as she was. It wasn't that she thought Finn was an idiot, but he definitely wasn't the smartest guy in the group, and although she knew that he had cared about her she hadn't expected him to pay such close attention to the cancer talk. She would have cried if she could have. "This is her second relapse," Finn continued, not noticing or caring about his friends' surprise. "She last relapsed five years ago. Stage III and spreading, she has a metastasized tumor on her spine."

Spencer could hear one of the paramedics taking notes on her condition as the other three began to lift her onto a stretcher. The one recording her condition asked the group if she had been acting oddly recently. Spencer was less surprised when Mike answered this question. "She's been weaker recently. More tired, she gets dizzy if she stands for too long, starts to wobble. She told me it was chemotherapy induced anemia, I don't know much about this cancer stuff, so I bought it, but maybe I shouldn't have. I think she's been having pain in her legs too, she flinches every time she sits down as if it hurts her to put weight on her thighs."

"She feels really light," Blaine chimed in.

The paramedics strapped her onto the gurney and began to move her through the building and outside to their ambulance. Spencer smiled when she heard her entire group follow them through the theater. As they moved one of the paramedics inserted an IV into her arm. "Don't worry, Sweetheart," the older man said, resting a hand on her forehead and brushing her wig out of her eyes. "We're going to figure this out and take care of you." He left his hand on her forehead as he addressed her group. "Are any of you family?" he asked. Spencer smiled internally when she heard the entire group say that they were family. The paramedics chose two people to ride in the ambulance with them, everyone else was going to have to call a cab. Spencer didn't know who they chose until she was being lifted into the ambulance and she worked up enough strength to reach out and wrap her hand around one of their wrists.

"Spencer?" Kurt asked, sounding stressed and worried. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Spencer felt a bit guilty at the fact that this was how Kurt was going to find out that she and Sebastian had been hanging out, but she needed the boy to do something for her and it was important. She'd worry about his feelings later. "My phone," she whispered, trying to ignore the flurry of activity around her as the paramedics got her ready for the drive to the hospital. "Call Meerkat." She never got to figure out if Kurt had heard her or even understood her request because a moment later one of the paramedics was saying that they were going to give her some medication that would make her sleep for at least the ride to the hospital. And after a second a mask was being lowered over her mouth and nose and Spencer was forced to breathe in a drug that made her fall asleep before she could even count to ten in her head.

-.-.-.-.-

The next time Spencer was conscious of anything she was laying in a bed, the steady beep of a heart monitor could just barely be heard over the hushed argument going on around her bed. "What the hell are you doing here?" someone hissed, Spencer couldn't be sure but she had a feeling that it was either Finn or Sam. She wondered who they were talking to. They knew everyone that was probably in the room. And why did they sound so angry.

"Spencer told me to call him," she heard someone whisper, their tone trying to calm the angry boy down. "Although if I had known that it was him I wouldn't have done it, even for her." That was Kurt, but Spencer's foggy brain couldn't process the conversation going on around her or who they were talking about.

"Don't get near her!"Mike growled when someone to her right began to move closer to her hospital bed.

"Please Chang," a new voice sneered, the person moving closer to the bed, no doubt pushing someone out of the way. "Do you really think I'm going to hurt her?" the man asked as he reached out to grab her hand. "Hummel himself said that she asked him to call me, I'm here because she wants me here." It was the hand and the way his thumb moved soothingly over the back of her hand more than the voice that told Spencer that it was Sebastian who was causing so much trouble. "Besides, Kurt," Sebastian said, "I would be here even if you hadn't called me, Stacey called me two minutes after I got off the phone with you. I'm the reason she got here so quickly."

"My mom's here?" Spencer croaked, flinching at the sound of her own voice. She forced her eyes open so that she could look around the room at her friends, she made eye contact with each of them before her gaze finally settled on Sebastian's green eyes."How did she get here so quickly? Bas? What's going on?"

"Shh," Sebastian soothed, as he lifted his free hand to run his fingers over her now bald head. "You need to calm down, baby girl. Yes your mom's here, she's dealing with the on-call oncologist, she's going to be here soon. She got here so quickly because your gay boyfriend has a private family jet that wasn't being used this weekend. And what is going on is that you are a complete and utter idiot who can't seem to take care of herself. When you have cancer you are not allowed to ignore things like feeling dizzy and pain in your legs and any of the other symptoms you've been pretending not to have recently." He glanced over his shoulder to see if the rest of the group was listening before he leaned in closer to Spencer so that he could whisper in her ear. "You really scared me there, Voldemort. Don't you dare do that again." Spencer nodded and swore that she wouldn't do it again before she pressed a kiss onto Sebastian's cheek before glancing over his shoulder at the rest of her friends.

"You want to explain what's going on here, Spence?" Santana asked, her tone firm as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Sebastian. Her face softened when she turned to look at Spencer and she quickly leaned in so that she could hug her friend and kiss her cheek. "Glad that you're awake again, Gorgeous," she said softly before pulling away again to resume glaring at Sebastian.

Spencer smiled up at her friends apologetically for a moment before she sighed and opened her mouth, trying to come up with an explanation that wouldn't hurt Kurt and Blaine. The two had forgiven Sebastian after the Karofsky incident, but they had never really trusted him or interacted with him since. She wondered if they would believe her when she said that he had changed, grown up. She hoped they would because the last thing she wanted to do was to choose between them, she loved the three of them too much for that. But before she could even start explaining Mike had interrupted her. "They're friends now," he said with a shrug as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "She's got one of his Dalton Lacrosse hoodies in her car, and he obviously cares about her, he flew halfway across the country to see her and to bring her mother to her. I don't see a problem with it as long as he continues to play nice."

Spencer stared at Mike for a moment with wide eyes. She had always loved him as a friend, but she had never realized how levelheaded and understanding he could be. She reached her free hand out, the one Sebastian wasn't holding, and grasped onto Mike's, giving it a gentle squeeze. Rachel stepped forward and glared at Sebastian for a moment before turning back to look at the rest of the group. Kurt rested one of his hands on Spencer's foot and gave it a gentle squeeze before he nodded at Rachel. She turned back to Sebastian and spoke for the entire group. "We still don't like you," she said firmly. "But as long as you and Spencer are friends we'll put up with you. You treat her right though."

Spencer glanced at Sebastian and expected him to make some joke about how he didn't like her friends either or that the whole _treat her right thing _made it sound like they were dating which they definitely were not. Instead Sebastian nodded and let go of her hand for a moment so that he could shake Rachel's, "We're all here for the same reason," he said softly, glancing down at Spencer. "We love Spencer."

And then, as if that was the perfect thing to say the tension in the room broke and everyone was talking at the same time, and Mike was standing next to Sebastian with his arm thrown casually over the ex-Warbler's shoulders, and Spencer couldn't do anything but grin at how accepting and open all of her friends could be. "Is the new dolphin Spencer's Prince Charming?" Brittany asked over the sound of everyone else's voices. Spencer grinned at Sebastian's confused look as Santana asked the blonde what she meant. "Well he came in and talked and held her hand and she woke up. Just like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and their Prince Charming." Brittany said as if it made perfect sense.

"Honey," Kurt said with a soft smile. "Prince Charming kisses his princesses awake, something that Sebastian Smythe won't do with a girl."

"But he called himself her gay boyfriend," Brittany pointed out. "So he's her gay Prince Charming?"

"That's exactly what he is," Spencer said with a nod and a smile, not wanting to confuse the blonde anymore than she already was. She smiled when Sebastian leaned down and whispered _dolphin?_ in her ear. She turned her head so that she could whisper back, "Brittany thinks that dolphins are just gay sharks," she said with a nod as she watched Sebastian try to bite back a laugh. "So in a room full of sharks you, Kurt, Blaine, and Santana are dolphins. Although ... Kurt's a unicorn and maybe a dolphin too? I don't know, the logistics of it have always been shady to me."

She smiled when the boy in question pushed through the group so that he could stand on the other side of her bed, opposite Sebastian. She glanced up at Kurt worried for a moment before she patted the empty spot on the bed next to her. Kurt hesitated for a moment before he sat on the bed next to her, wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders and tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "You really worried us there, Spencer," he said softly, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head. Spencer nodded and quietly apologized for scaring them as she watched Blaine move around her bed so that he was standing next to Sebastian. She was momentarily worried that Blaine was going to punch Sebastian or get in a fight, but the smaller boy simply held out his hand to shake Sebastian's and said something so soft that even Spencer who was sitting right next to Sebastian couldn't hear. She turned to glance at Kurt and he grinned down at her softly, "No hard feelings," he whispered as he gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "It's hard to not realize that he's changed when he so obviously cares about you. Puck told me how he helped get the two of you back together as well. I'm not saying that we're going to be best friends, but we will tolerate each other."

He paused when he saw the concerned look at Spencer's face at the mention of Puck. He nodded, but didn't say anything, waiting for Spencer to speak first. "How mad is he?" she asked him softly, turning her face away from her friend and looking at her and Sebastian's intertwined hands instead. A gentle squeeze from Kurt forced her to turn back to him and meet his eyes.

"He's pissed," Kurt said, choosing not to sugar coat things. "But not at you or because of anything you did. He's upset because he didn't realize that there was something horribly wrong earlier. He's mad because he's out in Texas right now with no way to help you. He's mad because as much as he wants to buy a plane ticket and fly out here he knows you would kill him if he blew off this interview. So instead he is sticking around for an interview that he frankly doesn't care about at the moment because he doesn't want to upset you, not now when something's obviously wrong. And maybe he's a little mad at you for trying to hide this from everyone. Smythe was right when he said that you can't ignore things like this, not when you have cancer." Kurt's face softened a bit as he glanced down at Spencer, but there was exasperation obvious in his voice when he continued, "Why are you so stupid sometimes, Spencer?"

Spencer didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't explain that she had a feeling that she knew what was going on with her, but that she didn't want to tell anyone or talk about that because that would make it feel real. And the last thing she wanted was for this to be real. Because this was probably the worst thing that could happen to her and she wasn't ready to face it. Unfortunately, it seemed as though she didn't have much of a choice anymore, whether she liked it or not, shit was going to hit the fan soon and she was going to have to learn how to deal with it. But she couldn't tell him any of that so instead she shrugged and smiled up at Kurt, "It's part of my charm?" she asked him.

"It's something," Kurt said with a nod as the door to her hospital room opened and her mother walked into the room. "It's going to be okay," Kurt breathed as he climbed off of her bed so that her mother could take the spot if she wanted it.

Stacey smiled at all of the kids around her daughter's hospital bed. This was a welcome change from the years that Spencer had tried to hide her condition from people. It was nice to see that her daughter had a group of friends that weren't going to abandon her when things got tough. When her eyes finally landed on Spencer she could see the concern evident on her daughter's face, she knew that despite the soft smile on her lips she must look as though she was close to tears. "Would you guys mind if I had a few minutes alone with my daughter," she asked, not bothering to pull her gaze off of her daughter. Spencer shook her head as her friends began to move toward the door and told her mother that anything she had to say she could say in front of them, she wasn't hiding things from then anymore. "I'd rather talk to you alone first," Stacey said softly. "And then you can tell them everything if you want to. This is for me, Spencer, I need some time to process."

It was then that Spencer knew her mother had bad news. Why else would she need time to process anything? She glanced around at her friends and nodded at them as they began to leave the room. She returned their _I love you_s and their _see you soon_s. And soon it was just her and her mother alone in the room. She took a deep breath before turning to look at her mother. "What's going on, Mom?" she asked softly.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck didn't know how he should feel about this or not. He knew deep down that he should be thrilled the admissions counselor at the University of Texas had told him that it was very rare for a perspective student to get accepted right after his interview. Puck honestly couldn't believe it when the man had told him that his interviewers had liked him so much that they were willing to offer him his acceptance immediately. They were even willing to offer him a partial scholarship. It wasn't as impressive as a full ride, but it would be enough for him to not have to worry about tuition. He would have to get a job to pay rent and groceries and all of his books were going to have to be used from Amazon but he wasn't going to have to take out a loan to pay for his degree and that was good to know.

They had been very impressed by his grades at Lima Community College and had apparently enjoyed reading his essay about the lessons he had learned from juvie and from almost failing out of high school. They were absolutely thrilled at how he had managed to turn his life around. And seemed honestly touched when they asked him who the most influential people in his life were and he had named his mother, his father, his daughter, his best friend, and his girlfriend. He had explained that his mother had been a single mother for as long as he could remember, but that she had never let that get in the way of taking care of her children. He had explained that she had never accepted welfare and had instead worked two jobs so that she could give her children everything they needed for a good childhood, all without child support from her deadbeat ex-husband. He had explained that his father was influential because even though he was never around he had showed Puck the man that Puck never wanted to be. Puck believed that he was the man he was today, in part, because he knew exactly what he didn't want to be. Beth was influential because it was after Quinn became pregnant with Beth the Puck first had to grow up, he had to be a man and a father for Beth, even if that meant giving her up. Finn had influenced him because despite everything that had happened between them during their sophomore and junior year Finn hadn't given up on him. Puck could honestly say that he wouldn't have graduated high school if it weren't for Finn Hudson. And then came Spencer. Puck had smiled at the interviewers before he said, "I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my girlfriend, Spencer Anderson. She has Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma," he chuckled cynically, "Six months ago I had no idea what that meant, but I love her so I've learned cancer talk over the last few months. She's taught me how to be a mature adult, how to care for people more, how to let people in, but most of all she believed in me. A four-year college was always part of my plan, but she gave me the extra push and forced me to apply this year. Despite everything that is going on in her life right now she took the time to help me get my life back on track. I owe her everything. And I can't think of a better way to say thank you than to prove to her and myself that not only can I succeed at your University, but I can thrive at it."

Puck could still remember the proud smiles on the faces of his interviewers as he finished his little speech. He honestly hadn't been thinking about what he was saying his mind had been with Spencer and their friends in a hospital room in Providence, Rhode Island. But apparently he had said the right thing because one of his interviewers was actually wiping tears away from her eyes as she stood up and drew him into a hug instead of shaking his hand. They had congratulated him on how far he had come already and accepted him on the spot. He was to expect his official acceptance letter within the next seven to ten business days. Puck's fist thought was to call his mother and then Spencer and tell them the news, but he decided that he wanted to surprise them when the thick acceptance letter came in the mail. It would be much more fun that way and besides, Spencer had enough going on right now that she didn't need to hear that Puck would be out in Texas next fall anyway.

And that was why Puck wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. There was obviously something wrong with Spencer. Rachel had called him right after she had passed out. And then he had called everyone from Spencer herself to Sebastian trying to figure out what was going on. No one had answered for at least two hours until Kurt finally called him to tell him that she was okay for now, that they were in the hospital and that she hadn't woken up yet, but her vitals were good and the nurses they had seen didn't seem too worried. Puck then called Stacey and was about to buy a plane ticket out to Providence when Stacey pulled the _mom card_ and told him to stay where he was. She had a point, they weren't going to be in Providence for long, Spencer was going to be fine, but she'd be pissed at Puck if he blew is interview to do something crazy like fly across the country just to get on a plane and fly back to Lima with her. Stacey knew her daughter. So Puck had stayed in Texas until his interview was finished and then exchanged his ticket for a worse seat, but an earlier flight home so that he could be in Lima when Spencer, Sebastian, and her mother got back.

Spencer was weird when she got back. She didn't try to tell him that she was okay, she didn't necessarily lie to him, but she told him that the results from the testing at Providence were inconclusive. She was going to get tested by Doctor Henderson and that she'd know by the week before everyone's graduations rolled around what was going on in her body. Puck had asked her about the results from Providence but she had shook her head and pulled him onto her bed, her mother and the doctors had ordered lots of rest for the next three weeks until they got the test results, "I don't want to worry you," she said softly before snuggling under his arm and resting her head on his chest. What she didn't realize was that she worried him more like this than she would if she just told him what was going on. She sighed, "It just," she paused, "it sucks, you know? Your body is supposed to fight diseases, to protect you and make you better. But my body is doing the opposite, it's attacking me from the inside out. It's broken and it just keeps getting harder and harder to fix." Puck wanted to ask her what she meant by that, he needed to ask her what she meant by that but she turned her face to look at him and smiled softly, "I never got to ask you about your interview," she said, her blue eyes lighting with excitement. "How did it go?"

Puck shrugged, still not ready to tell her the good news until he had the envelope, and until he knew what was wrong with her. Because there was no way he was going to go to Texas if she was here getting worse, he would defer for a year if he needed to, he wasn't going to leave her here all alone. "It went okay, I think," he told her. "You were right, they really ate up that shit about learning life lessons in juvie. I won't find out for a week or two though. So don't hold your breath or anything." And the way Spencer beamed up at him was almost enough to make him change his mind and tell her that he had been accepted on the spot just to keep her grinning at him the way she was at that very moment. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss onto her lips before he rested his forehead against hers and his voice turned stern, "And I'm sure that you have heard this from countless people over the last two days, but you were incredibly stupid recently. And you are not allowed to do that again."

"I know," Spencer breathed softly, her face looking solemn and sad as she glanced up at him. "I'm sorry for worrying you," she whispered. Puck shook his head because that wasn't what he was mad about, he was angry that she had worried him, but he could deal with that. What he couldn't deal with was the fact that she seemed hellbent on not taking care of herself. What he was angry about was that she couldn't understand that she was practically everything he had and if lost her because she ignored some kind of warning sign for something bad he would never forgive himself. He explained it to her and for a moment he felt bad about the guilty look on her face when she realized just how much she had hurt him just by not caring about herself. She reached up and cupped his face in her hand, "I am so sorry," she breathed softly, "I was being selfish and I didn't realize that I was going to hurt you so much. I'm sorry."

Puck nodded and kissed her temple, "Just don't do it again," he breathed before he pulled away from her and smiled. "So, when I was on my way over here I was informed that I was cutting in on Spencer and Sebastian movie night," he said, "And far be it for me to get in the way of that," he continued as he started to pull away from the small girl in his arms. She shook her head and held on tightly, begging him not to leave and telling him that she and Sebastian could easily reschedule. Puck grinned at her and pulled away just enough to open her door. "I told you she liked me better," he said as Sebastian walked into the room.

"Of course she does," Sebastian said with a nod as he walked around her bed and threw himself down on the other side of her. "She's known you longer and the two of you have sex." Puck grinned as he watched the red blush quickly spread across her pretty cheek bones. Once she was sure that Puck wasn't actually going to leave she let go of him with one of her hands so that she could reach out and slap the back of Sebastian's head and hiss at him that he was not allowed to talk about her sex life. "Why?" Sebastian asked as he settled deeper into her pillows. "You were the one who told me about it."

"And as my gay boyfriend you were supposed to know to keep your mouth shut!" Spencer hissed before she settled happily between the two men, holding each of their hands in one of hers. "So what movie are we going to watch and should I assume that Noah is invited to all Spencer and Sebastian movie nights from now on?" she asked playfully.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>Told you guys I'd be back soon.  
>Hope you guys liked this chapter, it's setting up some pretty big things that I'm kind of excited about.<br>Thank you to those who have been reading this story since the beginning and didn't give up on me. Thank you to those who came back when I started posting again. And big thanks to those who sent me review love on the last chapter.  
>(You guys should keep doing that ... I'm a <strong>review<strong> **junkie**)  
>So send me more!<br>And in return I'll write more.  
>See you back here soon.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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><p>Puck and Spencer didn't see as much of each other over the next two weeks as they would have liked. Between Puck's work and Spencer's forced bed rest it was hard to work out times to see each other. They hung out as often as they could though, usually in the evenings for an hour or two before Spencer fell asleep and they texted each other throughout the day. Puck relied on Sebastian for information on what was going on with Spencer though. He had to admit that while he hadn't been particularly thrilled about their friendship in the beginning it was starting to grow on him. Sebastian was able to take care of Spencer when Puck wasn't around and he always knew that Spencer was okay. Sebastian texted him almost as much as Spencer did. Puck owed the boy more than he cared to admit.<p>

All in all the two weeks had been good. They had been hectic and crazy, but good. Shortly after coming back from Providence Spencer had gone to Henderson to get her tests done, they were just waiting on the results. In the mean time she had been distracted by studying for and beginning to take her final exams. Her last one was on Friday and by the next Wednesday she would know whether she could graduate or not. Puck had teased her about the fact that she needed to be worried, he had made it his personal mission to distract her while she was working on her finals, but they both knew she had done well. Puck's acceptance letter from the University of Texas had arrived and while he managed to keep it a secret from Spencer he hadn't been able to keep it from his mother. In fact, the crazy woman had opened it before he got home from work. She wanted to throw him a party and tell everyone they knew, but Puck had convinced her to keep it quiet until he told Spencer, he wanted to be the one to tell her. But first he needed to figure out whether he was going to go or not, and to make that decision he needed to know what was going on with Spencer's test results.

He had asked her if he should take a day off from work so that he could go with her. Spencer had smiled softly at him and thanked him for the offer, but she told him that this was something she needed to do with just her mother. She said that it wasn't that Puck didn't mean anything to her, it was just that this was something she wasn't ready for him to deal with yet. He had made her promise that she would tell him what had happened as soon as he got to her house though. He spent the night at her house the night before her test results came in and when he got up the next morning to go to work he had kissed her softly and told her that he was sure that everything would be fine. She had forced a smile onto her lips before she nodded and told him that he was right and nothing was wrong. That day at work all Puck could think about was the worried look in Spencer's eyes and the forced, sad smile on her lips. She knew more about what was going on than she had told him and it was too late to force her to tell him what was going on.

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Spencer had lied. While she hadn't wanted Puck to take off from work and she had been honest when she told him that she wasn't ready for him to deal with this yet. She had lied when she told him that it was just going to be her and her mother that day. Sebastian was coming as well, she had thought that she could handle this all on her own, but at the last moment she had decided that she wanted Sebastian to come too. Her mother was great, but Sebastian was better at distracting her from what was going on than anyone she knew. And the one thing she needed today was a distraction. She was more than sure that her appointment was going to be the hardest oncology appointment she would ever go to.

"Knock. Knock." Spencer glanced up at Sebastian and rolled her eyes. They were waiting in the waiting room for Henderson to come out so that they could discuss her test results. Her mother was at the front desk talking to Tracy and she had exhausted all the magazines on the table. She was getting really sick of the sympathetic looks she was receiving from nurses and regular patients alike. But that didn't mean that she was going to resort to Knock Knock jokes. Sebastian rolled his eyes at her and jerked his chin, silently telling her to go along with him. "Knock. Knock?"

Spencer rolled her eyes again, "Who's there?" she asked, shaking her head at the boy.

"Impatient cow."

"Impatient co-" Spencer started before she was interrupted by Sebastian.

"MOO!" He all but yelled. Spencer stared at him for a moment before she started to laugh. She shook her head and rested her head on Sebastian's shoulder, silently thanking him for trying to distract her. He seemed to understand because he was only silent for a moment before, "Have you heard the joke about the window you couldn't see through?"

Spencer shook her head, "No," she said, the hint of a laugh in her voice, "I can't say that I have."

"Well I can't tell you, it's too dirty." Spencer laughed at him again and looped her arm through his, whispering that he was a complete and utter dork. Sebastian chuckled, "I've got more if you want them," he offered. Spencer shook her head, she had enjoyed the jokes, but at the moment nothing could really take her mind off of what was going to happen soon. Sebastian seemed to understand how she felt because he nodded, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head before whispering. "Or we could talk about what you're so afraid of."

Spencer sighed, at first she planned on saying no, that she didn't want to talk about what she was so afraid of, but before she knew it she was talking. "I've done some research," she said softly. She chose to ignore Sebastian's whispered response of so have I. "And I'm pretty sure that my symptoms could be signs that the cancer has spread to my bone marrow. I might just be overreacting, but I've had pain in my long bones recently which is usually a definitive sign of bone marrow cancer. They performed an x-ray in providence, but the doctor's felt that it was too early for the x-ray to pick up on any possible tumors."

Sebastian nodded, taking in the information without even the smallest look of surprise on his face. Spencer looked up at him and figured that his research must have led him to the same conclusion. "I figured it might be your bones when the doctors put you on bed rest," he admitted. "They didn't want to risk you getting any fractures in case they were right about the tumors not appearing on the x-rays right?" Spencer nodded silently, Sebastian was too smart for his own good in her opinion. "When you came in last week they gave you an x-ray, CT scan, and an MRI right?" Sebastian really was showing off the extent of his research. Spencer nodded agains silently. "So if the results come back positive and you do have bone marrow cancer, what then?" Sebastian asked softly.

Spencer was quiet for a moment, thinking. She bit her lip, unsure if she wanted to tell Sebastian what she had decided but after a second she gave a nod, her blue eyes darting up to look at him. "If it turns out that I'm right and that I have bone marrow cancer we're going to stop fighting it." She turned to glance at Sebastian and sighed when she saw the angry look on his face. "Think about it, Bas. The best treatment for bone cancer is surgery. Best case scenario they get in there and remove the tumor and I need bone marrow transplants and a bone graft from the bone bank. Do you have any idea how long the waiting list is for marrow transplants? Or how hard it is to find someone who is a perfect match? And when it comes to marrow they need to be a one hundred percent perfect match. And let's say I find one, a family member or a friend, do you know how painful those treatments are?"

Sebastian shook his head, "I'm pretty sure any of your friends or family members would be more than happy to go through it to help you get better," he pointed out. He chuckled and shook his head, "Hell, I'd do it for you and we both know that I can barely stand you." Spencer laughed for a moment as she reached out and gently pushed Sebastian's shoulder.

"That might be true," she said with a nod. "But the chances of one of my friends being a perfect match is very slim. And honestly, I'm tried of fighting. This is my second relapse and it's worse ever before. It's already metastasized and now it may have done it again into my bones. My body is obviously done trying to fight it, why should I allow Henderson to pump harmful chemicals into my system in an attempt to fight what is obviously going to kill me? I'm not really getting any better. The chemo really isn't helping. And if this cancer is going to kill me then at least I want it to be on my own terms. I don't want to have to keep doing chemo. Did you know that most people are healthier with cancer than they are when they start going to chemotherapy. I might actually feel better once the treatments start. I'll be able to die without feeling sick."

"That's not true," Sebastian argued. "Sure, you'll feel healthier for the most part up until the last few days. And then everything will shut down almost at the same time and you'll be in constant pain, you won't be able to talk or eat or drink. You'll be so full of pain killers that you probably won't even be able to think. Will that be dying on your own terms, Spence?" Spencer stared at him for a moment before she nodded, she was well aware of what the last days of cancer looked like, but it was something she had come to terms with in Providence, it was something that she was ready for. Sebastian shook his head, "I can't watch you go through that Voldemort," he said softly.

"I'm not asking you to, Meerkat," Spencer said softly, reaching out to grasp his hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze. "And even if you tried to see me like that I wouldn't let you. I don't want anyone to see me like that. I won't even let Toby see me if I have any say in the matter. I'll say my goodbyes to everyone when I'm still good and healthy. And then I'll come back her and die in a hospital room alone." She glanced up at Sebastian, his green eyes filled with pain, she nodded softly. "I'm ready for it Sebastian," she said softly. "I've been fighting for too long and honestly, I'm ready for this to be over. I just want it to end."

Sebastian looked at her for one tense moment before he nodded and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He wrapped his other arm around her front, encasing her in his arms. "I know," he said softly. "I know you want it to be over. I'd say that I wanted it to, but then that would sound like I was hoping for you to die."

Spencer grinned up at him for a moment before she tilted her head so that she could press a kiss onto his cheek. "Well we both know that you can barely stand me after all," she said, throwing his sarcastic response from earlier back at him. Her face grew serious, "Thank you for understanding, Bas."

Sebastian nodded, silent for another minute before he turned to look at Spencer. "Are you going to tell him?" he asked her, he knew that he didn't have to specify which _him_ he was talking about, Spencer would understand. "How are you going to say goodbye to him?"

Spencer sighed, "I don't know how I'll tell him this or how I'll say goodbye to him. You and I both know that he won't want to hear it. He won't want me to give up and on the slight chance that he does understand, that he will let me give up - there's no way that he'll be willing to let me do it on my own. He won't want me to be alone. Honestly, it would be easier to not tell him at all, to let someone else explain it to him, to say my goodbye once I'm already gone. I'll be easier if he doesn't realize that the last time he sees me really will be the last time until it's too late. I know it's unfair, I know it's not right or nice or the type of thing I would do if I weren't being selfish. But -"

"But you deserve to be selfish," Sebastian said with an understanding nod. "You're one of the most unselfish people I know, Spencer and as far as I'm concerned you're allowed to be selfish. But is Noah someone you want to be selfish with? Do you really want that?" Spencer was quiet for a moment before she nodded, sure that she never wanted to say a real goodbye to Noah. Sebastian nodded too, "Then I'll say your goodbye for you," he said softly. "And I won't even make fun of him if he starts crying."

The laughter that escaped Spencer's lips surprised them both, it only lasted a moment before they both realized that Stacey and Tracy had walked over to them from the front desk. Tracy smiled softly at the two of them before she interrupted them, "Spencer honey," she said softly, a pained smile resting on her lips. "Your turn." Spencer nodded and stood up, she grabbed Sebastian's hand and reached out for her mother's hand as well. Tracy stepped behind her and placed a comforting hand on the small of the girl's back before the four of them made their way into Dr. Henderson's office, heads held high.

-.-.-.-.-

Puck didn't bother knocking on the front door or waiting for someone to let him that night when he got to Spencer's house. They had been together long enough and had been through enough that no one would be upset if he just walked into the house. So he did. He had been expecting bad news all day so he was surprised when he found Stacey in the kitchen cooking dinner like it was a normal night. She smiled at him, her eyes a bit brighter than usual before she told him that Spencer and Sebastian were sitting on the back porch and asking him what he wanted to drink when dinner was served. Puck smiled at the familiarity of it all, everything seemed so normal, maybe they had gotten good news that day and the fainting in Providence had just been a fluke accident. He quickly made his way onto the back porch, he couldn't wait to celebrate Spencer's good health with her and even Sebastian. Despite how much he had hated the boy in high school he had to admit that Sebastian took care of Spencer and really cared about her. They were on the porch swing, Puck was about to rush toward them when something Sebastian said stopped him, "I don't see why you won't at least go on the waiting list," he said softly, his voice angry.

That one sentence was enough to stop Puck in his tracks. Stacey wasn't happy in the kitchen, her eyes weren't bright because she had gotten good news at the doctors. She was trying to act normal must have been struggling not to cry all afternoon. They had received bad news at the doctor's, really bad news, and if Sebastian's statement was anything to go off of Spencer had refused to continue treatment. He heard Spencer sighed, "Bas," she said softly, her voice sounded tired. "You know why I won't go on the waiting list. Even that small amount of hope will make this so much harder for everyone involved. It'll be easier this way."

"Are you going to tell him?" Sebastian asked. Puck didn't need to ask who him was.

Spencer shrugged, "Will it be easier for him to accept it if he knows it's coming or if it's a surprise?" she asked her friend. Puck didn't want to hear Sebastian's answer to that; he wanted to think that Sebastian would have his back and tell Spencer to tell him whatever was going on, but he knew that Sebastian was more Spencer's friend than his and he would tell Spencer whatever would be easier for her. So before the boy could answer Puck walked further onto the porch to announce his presence. Spencer looked up in surprise, "Noah," she said, quickly forcing a smile onto her lips. "You got off work early."

Puck didn't even bother to acknowledge Spencer's attempt to distract him. "What do you need to tell me, Spence?" he asked her, getting straight to the point. "What did you find out from Henderson today? And what waiting list do you need to get on?" Spencer sighed and asked if this conversation could wait until after dinner, Puck was shaking his head before Spencer had even finished her question. "Tell me now, Spence," he said, his tone forceful. He watched as Sebastian stood up from the swing and kissed Spencer on the cheek, he whispered that it was time for him to go but to call him if she needed anything. Spencer nodded and turned her gaze to her feet as Sebastian moved toward Puck and clapped him on the shoulder once before walking back into the house. Puck was silent for a moment before he sighed and sat down on the swing next to Spencer. "What's going on, Spence?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly as he prepared for the bad news. "How bad is it?"

Spencer stared at him for a moment before she shook her head and leaned it on his shoulder. "It's pretty bad," she said softly. "Really bad actually." Puck stiffened, but he didn't say anything, didn't interrupt her. She was trying to tell him what was going on and he wasn't about to make her stop. She sighed again and turned her head so that she could press a kiss onto his shoulder through his shirt. "While the tumors are shrinking, the cancer has spread to my bones. Cancer kind of gets tricky when it spreads to the bones. It's harder to get rid of and if the tumors are really big you need a marrow transplant. And bone marrow is pretty hard to find an exact match for."

"You just can't catch a break can you?" Puck growled before he clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to continue that thought. This was hard enough for Spencer the last thing he needed was for her to worry about hurting him. He was determined to be there for her this time and the only way he could do that was if he could convince her that he could handle what was going on in her life. He sighed, forcing himself to calm down before he asked the question he really didn't want the answer to, "What's the survival rate for this? And what are the chances of you finding an exact marrow match?" He could tell from the heavy silence that followed his question that he wasn't going to like the answers. "Spencer?" he prompted, letting her know he wasn't going to let these questions go without the answers he was asking for. "Tell me."

"The survival rate varies," Spencer said softly. Puck nodded, he had expected this, survival rates for everything varied. He wanted to know what Dr. Henderson had told Spencer and her mother that afternoon (he also had the sneaking suspicion that Sebastian had been there too). Spencer sighed, "Because of the bones that are affected and their distance from the original tumor, Dr. Henderson says it's not very good." Puck started at the plural of _bones._ He hadn't realized that more than one of Spencer's bones might be infected. He asked her what exactly Dr. Henderson had told her. "Between thirty and forty per cent."

And that floored him. Puck had been expecting a low number, but not that low. He tensed again before he forced himself to move so that he could wrap his arms around Spencer and hold her as close to him as possible. He was faced with the information that even when Spencer found a bone marrow donor he chances of surviving this were very low. He had known that she had cancer when they started dating, he had been to chemo with her, it had all been real to him. But he had never really thought that there would come a time when he could possibly lose her. He wrapped his arms a bit tighter around her than he usually would have, "And the chances of you finding a marrow match?" he asked, his voice tight as he tried to stay calm.

"The chances are 1 in 4 for a sibling," Spencer said with a nod. "But my brothers were tested years ago, neither of them were matches. To find a stranger that is an exact match you're looking at odds of one in fifty thousand." Puck let out a low whistle at the number and opened his mouth to reassure Spencer that they would find a match for her, that everything was going to be fine. But she stopped him, "Of course, the odds get even lower considering that I'm not going into the registry. I'm not going to do a marrow transplant."

"What?" Puck growled, withdrawing his arms so fast that it looked as though he had been burned. "What do you mean you're not going to get the transplant? Of course you are! You have to fight this Spencer! You've been fighting it your whole life! You can't stop now just because it got harder. You need to keep going, you can beat this."

Spencer raised her eyebrows at the boy beside her and shook her head, "Don't you think that's enough of a reason for me to stop now?" she asked him softly. "I've been fighting this for my entire life basically. I can't remember a time when my life didn't revolve around cancer treatment or the fear that the cancer would come back. I'm tired. Last I checked life was about living and what I've been doing isn't living. It's worrying about what;s going to come next, what's going to go wrong next. And I'm done with it." She shook her head as if she was angry at herself before she looked at Puck again, "This cancer's going to kill me, Noah, I came to terms with that fact a while ago. And I am not going to spend the last few months of my life being angry or tiring myself out trying to fight it. I'm going to do everything I've wanted to do. Create as many good memories with the people I love as I can so they have something to look back on and smile at when I'm gone. And then when it's my time I'm going to go. If you can't handle that, if you're going to be angry at me or insist that I keep trying to fight this," she paused, reaching up to wipe a tear off her cheek, Puck hadn't realized that she was crying, "then you should leave now."

Puck stared at her for a moment. He wanted to tell her that he thought she was being an idiot. He wanted to tell her that she was being weak. He wanted to tell her that he would never forgive her if she gave up. He couldn't though, no matter how much he wanted to. Because as he looked at her he didn't see an idiot, and he definitely didn't see someone who was weak. What he saw was a girl who was strong enough to finally take her life into her own hands and make her own decisions about it. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulders. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before leaning down so that he could whisper in her ear, "I'm not going anywhere, baby," he said softly. "I'm going to stay right here until you tell me you don't want me here."

Spencer glanced up at him for a moment in surprise before she nodded, "Thank you," she whispered, tilting her head up so that she could press a soft kiss against his cheek. Puck smiled softly at her, but couldn't help but wonder how many more kisses he would get from her before things got so much worse that she had to be moved to the hospital. He squeezed her a little tighter, not ready to face the idea that Spencer would be leaving him sooner than he realized, sooner than he wanted her to.

-.-.-.-.-

Over the next few weeks before everyone's graduation Sebastian and Puck it took it upon themselves to make sure that Spencer would get to do everything she wanted to do with her life. Sebastian used the family plane to bring her to the beach for a weekend, she and Puck went hiking and had picnics and played board games, the two boys took time off to help her volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. Spencer hadn't been very good at the building, she was getting weaker every day, but she had been amazing with the family's children. She was put in charge of entertaining the two kids while their parents helped out with the house.

It was on one of those afternoons at the Habitat house that Puck and Sebastian realized that there was no way they would be able to give Spencer everything she wanted out of life before the cancer took her way from them. She and the kids were playing a game of baseball on the neighbors front lawn with a wiffle ball bat and improvised bases. Puck who had been put in charge of cutting the baseboards for the walls, looked up when Sebastian walked out of the house and stood next to him. "She wanted to get married," Sebastian said softly, nodding toward where Spencer was playing with the kid. "She wanted this, a kid. How the hell are we supposed to get that for her?"

Puck was floored. He hadn't even thought of that. Of course Spencer would want a kid. One look at her with this stranger and it was clear that she was good with children, excellent even. Of course she would want one of her own if given the chance. He glanced at Sebastian and wondered if Spencer was hoping that Puck would help her with that, the marriage and the pregnant thing. Did she expect him to propose to her? Was he supposed to pull out some _A Walk to Remember_ shit and marry her? He glanced away from Sebastian to see her hugging the kid and glancing at him as if she was worried about something. Puck tried to force a smile onto his lips as he waved at her, hoping that she would think that everything was okay. Because loved her, he really did, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry her.

Spencer looked like she wanted to ask him about it, but the kid got her attention and offered Puck a reprieve. He couldn't help but give a sigh of relief. He had made up his mind, he was going to do everything in his power to ensure that Spencer got everything she wanted out of her life before she was taken from him. Now he just had to figure out how far he was willing to go to do so.

-.-.-.-.-

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked two hours later as Puck drove her back to her house. Puck looked over at her and shrugged, silently asking her why she was wondering. She shrugged in return, "I don't know, you looked a little freaked out over at the habitat house and you've been kind of quiet recently. These days you spend most of your time planning the next thing on my list. You're being pretty quiet. What's wrong?"

Puck shook his head, he was determined not to say anything. He didn't want to ruin what could be Spencer's last weeks by making her feel like he didn't want her, because he did. He really did. He just wasn't sure if they should get married just because she was dying. Spencer sighed and reached across the seat, gently grabbing his hand and giving it a soft squeeze, "Noah, please?"

"You want kids," Puck said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You want kids and you want to get married. And I can't give you that, Spence. I want to, God, I want to give you everything on that damn list before I lose you forever. But I can't give you that. I already did the kid thing with Beth and look how that turned out. And I mean we could try, but there's no guarantee that you'll be here long enough to even have the kid and then I'll have to take care of her or him all on my own. Which I'd do, I mean, it would be our kid. But I can't give you that commitment, Spencer."

Spencer raised her eyebrows at him and bit her lip. There was a moment when Puck worried that she was going to start to cry, that he had said something to hurt her feelings. He signaled with his blinker and pulled over to the side of the road, fully prepared to start comforting her when she started laughing. "And who said I expected you to give me that commitment, Noah?" she asked him once the laughter had stopped. "Who said I wanted that from you? This isn't a Nicholas Sparks novel, I don't expect you to marry me."

"But you want a marriage and a kid," Puck pointed out, grabbing Spencer's hand and giving it a squeeze. "And now," he paused, "now you won't get either of those."

"You can say it, you know," Spencer said with a sigh, tears finally forming in her eyes. "You can say that I won't get either of those things because I'm dying. It doesn't make it any less real if you don't say it than if you do - I'm still going to die either way. And sure, if I was going to be around longer I would want those things. But I'm not, I've come to terms with that. I've dealt with the fact that I will never get married, that I will never have a child. I'm not okay with it, exactly, but I'm aware that there's nothing I can do to change it. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings for not wanting to marry me, Noah. But I am touched that you were this worried about it."

Puck glanced at her before leaning closer to press a kiss to her forehead. "So we're okay?" he asked softly.

Spencer laughed at him and tilted her head up to catch his lips in a soft kiss. "I wasn't aware that there was ever a problem to start with," she said with a gentle giggle. Puck smiled softly and kissed her again, he loved that giggle, lived for it even, and every time he heard it now he couldn't help but wonder how many more times he would get the chance.

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><p>Author's Note:<br>And that's all for now.  
>This chapter was a bit longer than the others because big things happened.<br>I hope you guys liked it, even if it was pretty bad news.  
>Don't freak out too much, I want you guys to trust me ... I know what I'm doing.<br>Thank you to all of you that have added this story to your alert and favorites list.  
>And thanks to those who reviewed on the last chapter.<br>(Do you want a hint as to how you get faster updates? **REVIEW**)  
>Anyway, that's all I've got for now.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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Just to warn you guys, looking at the timeline, I think there are like five chapters left of this story.  
>Plus a tentative epilogue, maybe.<p>

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Check on my profile, there's a poll you guys should take about the epilogue.

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><p>"Noah!" Spencer called for the fifth time that morning, "Honestly, I got ready faster than you are right now and I'm the one graduating. What's taking you so long, baby?" Puck chuckled softly from inside the hotel bathroom, Spencer was right, he was taking longer in the bathroom than Spencer had and she had to put on make up. But the truth was that he was afraid to go out in the room, he didn't want to face her yet. She hadn't done anything wrong, she was perfectly happy and that was the problem. The whole gang was in Providence to be there when Spencer got her degree. She had made it to graduation without having to go into hospice. She could still walk and because of that she was determined to walk across the stage and get her degree.<p>

She had lost weight recently, she couldn't weigh more than sixty pounds, she didn't eat much and she slept most of the time. The doctors said that her body was slowly shutting down and that it was only a matter of time until she was gone. But she was determined to have a good graduation. And the last thing Puck wanted to do was ruin her mood by crying in front of her, or by letting her know that he was upset. It was her day, she deserved to be happy, and the last thing that Puck was going to do was make this harder for her. It was the least he could do for her. "I'll be out in a minute!" he called through the door, before he splashed some water on his face in an attempt to hide the evidence of the tears.

When Spencer answered she sounded distracted. "Take your time, we're not in any kind of rush or anything." If she hadn't sounded as if she was thinking of something else Puck would have called her out on sarcasm. He didn't though, the truth was Spencer hadn't been using much sarcasm as of late. It was as if she was trying not to mar the little time she had left with sarcasm and cruel wit. What she didn't realize was that those two things made up so much of what she was and without them her friends could barely recognize her. "Hey Noah?" Spencer called through the door, she still sounded distracted. "Have you heard from the University of Texas yet? Or any of the other schools you applied to?"

"No," Puck said as he dried his face with a towel. "Not that I'm really surprised. I may have entertained them during my interview, but let's be honest. It's not like I'm a catch or anything like that. Besides, this really wouldn't be the time for me to go away to school anyway, you know?"

"Because of me?" Spencer asked softly. "It wouldn't be a good time because you'd have to move out there fairly soon and I'm dying?" Puck raised his eyebrows and started to prepare to leave the bathroom, he couldn't figure out Spencer's sudden interest in college and he couldn't figure out how she knew that the University of Texas wanted him out there for summer classes within the next month.

He opened the door and walked into the bedroom and his confusion ended. Spencer was sitting on the bed in a dress and heels, her graduation robes, hat, and honor cords sitting on the bed next to her. His acceptance packet from the University of Texas sitting on her lap. "Spencer," Puck said softly, silently cursing himself for bringing the packet with him. He had been worried about his mother finding it if he left it at home, he hadn't thought of Spencer finding it while they were here. "Let me explain," he continued, trying to think of an excuse for why he had hidden this from her besides, _you're dying_ _and I didn't want to leave you._

Spencer shook her head angrily, "There's no need to explain," she said, her voice quiet and stern. "You got accepted and you didn't tell me because they want you to move out there before July. And you know that I would push you to go, I would want you to go. But you won't, because of me, because I'm dying and you're worried about me. This is all my fault, you got into school and now you won't go because of me. Because you think that you'll be abandoning me if you go?"

"It's not that," Puck said softly, shaking his head, "I know that you won't think I'm abandoning you if I go to school, that's not what I'm worried about." Spencer looked at him for a moment, she bit her lip before she asked him what he was worried about then. Puck should have thought about his answer, he should have come up with something better than the truth - but he was put on the spot and she was waiting for an answer. "If I got in once I can get in again," he said softly. "The University of Texas will still be there next spring."

"But I won't," Spencer said, shaking her head. "Is that what you are trying to say? That you want to stay in Lima for an extra year so you can watch me die instead of following your dreams? Because that's bullshit! You're smart, Noah, you're so smart and you've been given this amazing chance and I will not let you throw it away for me. I won't let you!"

"I won't be throwing it away," Puck argued, shaking his head. "And I definitely won't be throwing it away to watch you die. I'll be putting the plan on hold so that I can be there for you when you need me most. Spence, you don't like needing people, I know that, and you won't admit that you need me now, but you do. Let me be there for you. I would never forgive myself if I left you in Lima, Ohio to die by yourself when I went to school." Spencer shook her head and told him that she wouldn't die alone, she had her family, "But I won't be there!" Puck argued.

Spencer shook her head again, "Noah, you wouldn't be there even if you were in Lima, I've already decided that you won't be allowed there when it gets really bad. I don't want you to see me like that. I don't want you to remember me like that. This is bad enough," she said, gesturing to her small, wasted body, "I don't want you to see me when I get worse."

Puck opened his mouth to argue, to tell her that she couldn't keep him away from her, that he wouldn't let her, that as long as they were dating and she was alive he would be by her side. But he was interrupted by the hotel room door opening and Spencer's mom walking in. "Is he finally ready?" she asked, nodding toward Puck. Spencer studied him for a moment and Puck had the uncomfortable feeling that she could read his mind before she nodded and stood up from the bed, announcing that it was time to go, she had some graduating to do.

-.-.-.-.-

The graduation ceremony took almost two hours. It was long and drawn out and the only highlight of the ceremony was when Spencer's name was called and with the help of her mother she walked across the stage to get her fake diploma. Of all the graduates she was cheered for the loudest, but that may have been because of her Glee club sized cheering section in the stands. The best part was for that moment, when she was standing in the middle of the stage, shaking the President of the University's hand, she looked healthy. She had a glow about her that Puck hadn't seen in a while, she was truly happy in that moment. She had achieved something that she had never thought you could. Despite the fact that she was wearing a wig and that she had wasted away she had never looked more beautiful to Puck. He knew that no matter what happened over the next few months he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.

After the ceremony there were pictures. It seemed like thousands of them. There were pictures with Spencer's roommates, her family, the members of New Directions, Sebastian, her favorite professors, her favorite spots on campus. She got tired toward the end, Puck could tell, but she never complained. Puck couldn't help but wonder if Spencer would even be around when these pictures were developed. He wondered if the pictures were for the girl herself or for those she'd leave behind so they could remember the happy times a little easier. He didn't like thinking like that, but it was hard not to. It was hard not to wonder how much time they would have left, how many happy memories they would be able to make in that time, and how many times he would get to see her smile before she was too tired and sick to smile anymore.

"You okay?" Sam asked, nudging Puck in the side. "You look kind of weird right now."

"I'm fine," Puck said with a nod. Sam raised his eyebrows in a look that clearly said he didn't believe Puck. Puck sighed, "I got into the University of Texas," he said softly. "Found out a while, they offered me admission on the spot after my interview."

"That's great," Sam said with a nod, "Congratulations man!"

Puck nodded his thanks, "The problem is that they want me there for their summer semester. That was a big factor in my acceptance. They liked me, my grades at Lima Community were good, and they think that I could thrive at the school but they want to test out a summer semester where I'm taking less classes and have less distractions before they throw me head first into the college life."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, his face confused. It was obvious he didn't understand the problem with that. "That sounds like a good idea actually, like a trial semester. What's the problem?"

Puck turned his head to watch Spencer, she was posing for a picture with all of the high school kids who had helped out with her capstone project. "The summer semester starts in exactly two weeks," he said quietly, not wanting anyone else in the group to overhear the conversation, the last thing he needed was the entire Glee club to way in on this decision. "And with Spencer getting worse, I don't know if I can leave her."

Sam nodded and watched as Spencer threw her head back and laughed at something one of the high school students had said while posing for the picture. "Does she not know?" he asked. Puck shook his head, silently telling Sam that Spencer knew he had gotten into the school. "Does she want you to stay?" Sam asked, surprise coloring his tone, that didn't sound anything like Spencer, she always did what was best for everyone besides herself.

"The opposite actually," Puck said softly. "She found out this morning and all but told me that I had to go. But I can't leave her, not like this. I would never forgive myself if something were to happen, if she were to die and I wasn't with her. I would never forgive myself for leaving her alone."

Sam nodded, he could understand where Puck was coming from, but he could also see Spencer's point of view. "But do you think she'd forgive herself if you stayed with her and missed out on this great opportunity. Because of her?" He shook his head, they both knew she would never forgive herself. "And considering what little time she has left here, don't you think she deserves to live it without feeling guilty about holding you back?"

"But she wouldn't be holding me back," Puck argued. "Why can't she see that? So what, I'd have to postpone college for one more year, in the longer scheme of things that wouldn't matter. What would matter was if I didn't get to spend every possible moment I could with her. She's amazing and way too good for me. But she chose me. You know how we used to make fun of Finn for thinking Rachel was too good for him? I know the feeling now, I get it. She makes me a better person. And if I were to leave her in Lima and go to Texas I would be turning my back on all of that. I can't do that." He took a deep breath, "I love her, Sam."

"You say that like I'm supposed to be surprised," Sam said with a smirk on his face. "We all know that. I think the only one who would be surprised by that news is Spencer herself." He paused for a moment, glancing at the girl in question for a second before looking at Puck again, "So as long as you're with her you're not going to go anywhere are you?" Puck shook his head, catching the pained look on Sam's face as he did so. Sam sighed, "You've got to let her go then, man," he said. "You keep sticking around like you have hope that she'll get better, but it's clear that's not going to happen. It hurts her to have you around watching her get worse. You need to let her go."

Puck shook his head and glared angrily at Sam, "You don't know what we have," he argued. "You won't understand."

-.-.-.-.-

Spencer had thought a lot about her options on the way back to Lima. She had been fine with being with Noah, with him sticking around when she thought that he was still waiting on the colleges to decide that they wanted him. But now that she knew he had been accepted and he was thinking of deferring, of putting his future on hold because of her things didn't seem so clear anymore. She was holding him back, that much was obvious. He wasn't going to leave as long as he was dating her, that was obvious too. She had to let him go, force him to go even. That would be the right thing to do.

But it wasn't that easy. She loved him, she knew that. She wasn't quite sure when it had happened, but she had fallen in love with Noah Puckerman. She knew her life was short, but she couldn't imagine the rest of it without him. She wanted to keep him as long as possible, and what was worse was that she knew he would let her. He would let her keep him until her last breath if she wanted him. He wasn't going to let her go, and she didn't want to let him go. But that was wrong. She had to let him go. She'd spend the rest of her life hating herself if she didn't.

The biggest problem was that he wasn't going to let her let him go easily. He was going to try to fight her on this decision. She was going to have to hurt him, to break him in order to make him give up. And while it was the right thing to do, and he might see that some day, more likely he was going to spend his entire life hating her for what she was about to do. That was going to be hard to handle. She was pulled out of her thoughts, but a gentle pat on her thigh, she turned her head and forced a smile onto her face when she met Sebastian's confused gaze. "I'm sorry," she apologized softly, "I'm not very entertaining tonight am I?"

"It's not your job to be entertaining, Voldemort," Sebastian said with a sad smile on his face. His eyes scanned Spencer's face, trying to find some sign of what was bothering her. "What's going on, Spencer? Do you need to talk about it?"

Spencer shook her head, then nodded, then shook her head again. She smiled when Sebastian laughed softly at her indecision. She reached out and gently grabbed Sebastian's hand. "Noah's coming over soon," she said softly. "I texted him this morning and asked him to come over after dinner." Sebastian nodded and offered to leave, he figured that Spencer and Puck would want some alone time, but Spencer surprised him by shaking her head. "I want you to stay," she said softly, "but up in my room. Noah and I will only be out on the front porch for a little while."

"Spencer?" Sebastian asked softly. "What's going on? Why do I have a feeling that you'll be crying when you come back up to your room after Puckerman leaves? What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm going to break up with Noah," Spencer said, her voice devoid of any emotion. "I have to. It's the only way to get him out of this god-forsaken town. He won't leave as long as I'm here and sick. And I can't let him do that to his future just because I'm too selfish to let him go. If he won't go on his own I have to force him to leave." Sebastian wanted to argue with her, he wanted to tell her that she was being stupid but he could tell by the tense look on her face that she had thought about this a lot. That she had made up her mind and nothing he said was going to change the decision. So instead he nodded and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Spencer flashed him a grateful smile for not arguing with her, "Thank you," she said softly. "For being my friend, I know you didn't exactly sign up for this when we started hanging out."

"On the contrary," Sebastian said, giving her hand another gentle squeeze as Puck's truck pulled up in front of the house. "I signed up for this, you told me you had cancer the first time we hung out remember? I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and I wouldn't do it any differently if given a second chance."

"I would," Spencer said, her voice hollow as she watched Puck climb out of the truck. "He's a good guy, great even. And he doesn't deserve what I've put him through, what I'm about to put him through. If given the chance I would do it completely differently; I wouldn't let him near me."

Sebastian nodded and gave her hand one more gentle squeeze before he stood up and headed in the house. He definitely did not want to be outside to witness what was about to happen. Spencer smiled sadly when Puck sat down on the porch swing next to her and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, "Just trading boys?" Puck asked softly, nodding toward the door that Sebastian had just walked through. Spencer shrugged, but didn't say anything. "Baby?" Puck asked softly, "What's going on, you're acting kind of weird."

Spencer shifted on the swing so that she was sitting cross-legged, staring at Puck instead of wrapped in his arms. She closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath before she opened them again and looked at him. She desperately took in his too long buzz cut (his hair had grown since he had shaved it, too long to be considered buzzed, but too short to make his signature mohawk), and strong jawline, and soft lips. His furrowed brows. His white v-necked shirt and leather jacket. She inhaled sharply as she took in the last few seconds of Noah being _hers_.

She was about to break both of their hearts. "You're really worrying me here, babe," Puck said nervously as he reached out to grab her hand.

She shook her head and withdrew her hand from his reaching hand. "I want you to go to college," she said softly. Puck chuckled at her and told her that he had assumed that when she forced him to fill out college applications. She shook her head, "I want you to go to the University of Texas, I want you to go now - for the summer semester. I want you to go."

"We can talk about this later, Spencer. I don't have to go this summer," Puck said, desperately trying to make her change her mind. He didn't quite know what was going on, but it was clear that Spencer had been doing some thinking since the last time they had talked and he wasn't sure if he liked that."I don't have to go there now, I have to stay here with you," he tried again.

Spencer shook her head, "I don't need you here," she said, her tone harsh. "You'll only get in the way and make me feel guilty for not fighting this anymore. I don't need that around me at this time. And I don't need you. You don't have to do anything but get on a plane and go to Texas where you belong." Puck opened his mouth to argue but Spencer cut him off before he could, "Don't you get it, Puckerman?" she asked him, her voice angrier than he had ever heard it. "I don't need or want you here. You need to leave. Leave me alone, leave Lima, just get out of here. You don't belong here anymore, and you don't belong with me anymore."

Puck stared at her, unsure of what he was supposed to do now. Did she want him to go home, give her some time, and come back tomorrow? Was this just a cancer fueled mood swing and she'd be back to wanting him around the next morning? Or did she want him to stay with her, to hold her and help her work through her anger? To prove to her that no matter how tough it got or how sick she became that he would not leave her until the very end? Did she want him to tell her that he'd never let her go? That he ... cared about her too much to do that? He nodded and he watched her body relax as she breathed a sigh of relief. He reached out and grabbed her hand, "We're going to get through this, honey," he said softly, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. "I know it's tough right now and you think that it's going to get so bad that I'll want to leave you, but that won't happen. Because," he paused, taking a deep breath before he continued, this was tough. "Because I love you. Always will."

Spencer stared at him with wide, surprised eyes for a moment before she shook her head, a rueful laugh escaping her lips as she pulled her hand out of Puck's grasp. She closed her eyes, trying to force herself not to cry. "Well I don't feel the same," she said softly. "I never will. I'm sorry."

Puck stared at her for a second, sure that she was going to start laughing and telling him that she was joking but she never did. His wide eyes slowly narrowed until he was glaring at her, "That's bull shit and you know it," he growled. "You know that you love me. What the hell, Anderson?"

"I don't love you," Spencer said, shaking her head as if saying it again would make him believe it. "And if you want to wait around for me to change my mind you're going to be waiting for a while. I don't love you. And frankly I don't have the time to fall in love with you. So if you're looking for someone to return those feelings you're looking in the wrong place. How could I ever fall in love with you? Come on, Puck - think about it." She paused, taking him in, looking at him one more time before she completely broke his heart. "I just graduated from an Ivy League school and you just barely got into a four year college and you're using me as an excuse to chicken out of going. You were right in high school, you were a Lima loser. You still are, you probably always will be. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I loved you, but all you ever really were was a distraction from what was going on in my own body. Nothing more."

Puck stared at Spencer for another moment, silently willing her to change her mind, but her face remained hard and impassive. He shook his head and stood up from the swing. "Well you have it all figured out don't you?" he asked her, his voice harsh and rueful. "I'm just an idiot and you're just a bitch." And the before she could say another word to him he stormed off the porch and back to his truck. He refused to look back at her, he knew that the next day he would feel bad for what he said to her, but he refused to feel any sympathy for her tonight.

Spencer waited on the porch until his truck had disappeared from sight. She slowly stood up and walked into her house, proud of herself for not breaking down yet. She made it up the stairs and to her room before the sobs broke through and she dropped to the ground, too tired to even hold herself up anymore. Sebastian was there in an instant, his warm arms pulling the small girl into his lap and wrapping her up in a strong hug. He ran one of his hands over her bald head and tried to calm her down as she sobbed into his shoulder. "What happened?" he finally asked once she had calmed down enough that she could talk through the sobs.

"He called me a bitch," she said softly, wiping her nose on his shirt sleeve. Sebastian squeezed her tighter and growled deep in his throat before telling her that she didn't deserve that. Spencer sniffed into his sleeve and shook her head, "But I do!" she all but wailed. "You weren't down there, you don't know what I said! I am a bitch and I deserved to be called out on it."

"What did you say to him?" Sebastian asked softly. He had assumed that Spencer had simply told Puckerman that she didn't want to feel like she was holding him back. That she cared so much about him that she couldn't watch him ruin his life like this. He knew that the guy might be upset, but he couldn't imagine why she would deserve being called a bitch for it. "What happened, Spence?" he asked. "I don't understand."

"He wasn't going to listen to reason," Spencer said, shaking her head. "He wasn't going to just let me go because I couldn't stand ruining his future. He told me that he loved me, Bas, that he loved me!" Sebastian rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss onto the top of Spencer's head, he couldn't understand how she was surprised about this. He had known that Puckerman loved her for a while.

"Did you say it back?" he asked softly, also knowing that Spencer loved him. She had only come out and said it once, but Sebastian knew her well enough to know that she did. Spencer shook her head, refusing to lift her head off his shoulder and look at him. "You didn't?" Sebastian asked surprised, Puckerman was smart - the guy had to know that Spencer returned his feelings. "What did you tell him?"

"That I didn't love him, couldn't love him, wouldn't love him," Spencer sobbed out in broken sentences. "He called bullshit on me, he told me that I loved him and that I couldn't deny it. And I ... I laughed at him. I apologized to him for making him think that I could love him and then I told him that there was no possible way that I could. That I a college graduate could never love a boy who had barely made it out of high school and was just using my illness as a cop out of going now because he was scared. I was so horrible to him, Bas," she shook her head at the memory. "I called him a Lima loser. He used to call himself that back in high school and we used to yell at him for it, we used to tell him that he was so amazing and talented that there was no way he could be a Lima loser. And I just threw it at him like I don't care about him."

"How did he take that?" Sebastian asked softly, although he had a feeling that he knew how the guy took it. "Was that when he called you a bitch?"

Spencer nodded, "He called himself a loser and then called me a bitch. And I deserved it, Bas, I really did. I should never have said those things to him - I just couldn't think of another way to make him leave me. I had to break his heart, it was the only way to get him to let me go." She quieted after that. Sebastian gently lifted them off the ground and carried her to her bed where he continued to run his fingers over her head. He thought she had fallen asleep and was about to get off her bed when she talked again. "He's going to hate me for the rest of his life," she said softly, sniffing back some tears, "and I'm going to love him for the rest of mine."

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><p>Author's Note:<br>I'm kind of mean aren't I?  
>I just won't let my characters catch a break.<br>I give them an almost happy ending, and then I take it away from them.  
>Oh well, it had to happen.<br>I hope you guys liked this chapter, cause I kind of did.  
>I want to thank anyone that added the story to their favorites or alert lists.<br>And special thanks to: _Dalonega Noquisi_, _quattrolove_, _lovestoryfreak_, and _CrackHeadBlonde_ for reviewing on the last chapter! I'm sorry that I made some of you cry, and I hope you didn't cry because of this chapter too. I hope you loved it instead!  
>Everyone should go check out my poll on my profile page.<br>And **review** - you should do that too.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the things you do not recognize (that is to say ... I own Spencer and her storyline). The rest belong to Fox, sadly (that is to say ... I would totally love to own every one of the men on the show.)

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Oh you guys are going to hate me so much after this chapter!

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><p>The next week was absolute torture for Spencer. Puck showed up at her house every morning for the first three days. He rang the doorbell, threw rocks at her window, played his guitar on the front yard, anything he could think of that would possibly make her come out of the house and talk to him. He was there every morning at sunrise and refused to leave until the sun went down. Toby and Stacey and even Sebastian would give him sympathetic looks when they opened the front door and saw him, but they all told him the same thing, <em>Spencer refused to see him. <em>Sebastian had been a bit more hostile than Stacey and Toby, Puck assumed that Spencer had told him about him calling her a bitch, he had apologized to Sebastian, thinking maybe if the guy saw how bad he felt about it he would let him see Spencer and apologize to her as well.

But all his apology had gained him was a slightly more sympathetic look, "Look Puckerman," Sebastian had sighed, "if I had a choice I would let you in to see her; she's happier when you're around. But I don't have a choice. She doesn't want to see you. She doesn't want you to see her. We have to respect that. She has very few choices left and Stacey says we need to respect the ones she makes."

"Okay," Puck said softly with a nod. "I get that, and I'm going to go. I accepted my spot at Texas, I'm going. I just need to know that she's okay before I go. We may have broken up, but I still care about her. I can't just go across the country without knowing that she's okay. Or at least comfortable."

Sebastian nodded, his look becoming more pitying. "She's fine," he lied, "don't worry about her, she's tougher than she looks. I'll take care of her and tell her that you stopped by, okay?"

Puck shook his head, he wanted to tell Sebastian that that wasn't good enough. That he needed to know that she was okay for himself. That he needed to see her with his own two eyes, touch her for himself. Being told that she was okay wasn't enough, he needed to know. But he knew it was no good, that saying that wouldn't change Spencer or Sebastian's mind. So instead he thanked Sebastian and turned to leave.

"Do you have something you want me to tell her?" Sebastian asked when Puck started to walk away. "A message I can pass along?" Puck stopped on the walkway and turned to look at Sebastian, thinking. Sebastian wasn't sure why had had asked Puck if he had a message for Spencer. If, for example, Puck had wanted Sebastian to tell Spencer that he still loved her Sebastian probably would not have told her. She was having enough trouble as it was, he didn't need to make it any harder on her. But in the end he didn't need to worry about it because Puck had shook his head and told him that he had nothing to tell Spencer. And with that, he was gone.

"Is he okay?" Spencer asked when Sebastian made it back up to her room. She had gotten weaker, a lot weaker and had been ordered to be on bed rest, the only time she was allowed out of her bed was if she was using the bathroom, taking a bath, or in the car on the way to a doctors appointment. Sebastian had practically moved into Spencer's house so that she wouldn't be alone. Sebastian frowned when he noticed she wasn't in her bed, but rather sitting on the window seat at her front window, she had been watching Puck.

"You're supposed to be in bed," Sebastian scolded as he picked up the small girl and carried her to the bed. She was so small now, like a rag doll. It broke Sebastian's heart to look at her. And the hopeful look on her face now, as she asked about Puckerman it was even harder for him to look at her. He pressed a kiss onto her forehead as he lay her down on her bed and covered her up with the blanket. "He's okay," he said softly once she was safe in her bed. He briefly considered telling her that Puckerman had asked him to tell her that he still loved her, but he wasn't sure if that would help or hurt so he decided not to lie and instead settled on the truth, "He's going to Texas tomorrow. Took your advice and he's going to school."

"Good," Spencer said with a nod, using her hand to shield a yawn, she was getting more and more tired as the days went on. "He deserves it. It doesn't matter what it took to get him there. He needs to be there." Sebastian sighed and wondered if that was true. Yes, he believed that Puckerman should be at school, but he wondered if what the guy really needed to do was be there with Spencer. She had taken a turn for the worse after she had broken up with him. She had a doctor's appointment the next day but Sebastian had overheard Stacey on the phone with Dr. Henderson. The doctor had given Spencer no more than a week based on her symptoms.

It had gotten so bad that Spencer's father had finally gotten the leave he requested from the Navy. He arrived home the night after Puckerman left. And to say he was surprised by his daughter's appearance was and understatement. Sebastian was aware that Spencer was getting smaller and sicker, but he saw her everyday so it wasn't such an obvious change as it must have been for her father. She had looked completely healthy the last time he had seen her and now she was obviously dying. That was the one night that Sebastian had not stayed at Spencer's house. He felt as though he was intruding on something and then even when Spencer told him that she wanted him to stay he would have considered it if Spencer and her father hadn't gotten in a fight.

It was a fight Spencer had been in many times since she had found that the cancer had spread to her bone marrow. Her father couldn't figure out why she hadn't been put on the transplant list, why she hadn't even tried to find a donor. The fight was pointless now, Spencer was too far gone, even if they did find a donor the cancer had probably spread so far that it wouldn't matter. She was going to die.

She understood why he was so angry. He could not handle losing her now, she was too young and he hadn't even realized he was losing her until it was too late. She had had time to come to terms with it, her brother had had time to come to terms with it, her mother had had time to come to terms with it. But her father hadn't. And now it was too late for him to change it. "Dad," Toby had said angrily when the yelling had become too much for him, "It's Spencer's choice. there's nothing you can do about it. Don't make this harder on her." Stacey had agreed with Toby, momentarily surprised at how mature her son was being, but Spencer's father, Kevin, was having none of it.

"No," her father said, shaking his head. "She's our daughter Stace, our baby girl. We can't just sit back and let her die. I'm supposed to be able to protect her. I'm supposed to be able to keep her safe. I've failed my job to her. I've failed her."

"How were you supposed to protect me, Daddy?" Spencer asked softly. "How were you supposed to keep me safe from my own body? There was nothing you could have done. I know it's hard for you to come to terms with that, to understand it but you have to. This is in no way your fault. It's not my fault. It's no one's fault. It just happened. Sometimes things like this happen to people for no reason. You can't fight it. You have to accept it. I have."

"But I found you a marrow donor," Kevin said, surprising the entire family. "One of the guys on my seal team. We tested it and compared his results to yours from the last time you relapsed. The two of you were a match. You could have had a transplant if we hadn't found out so late."

Spencer looked at her father with tears in her eyes, even when she had given up on getting better, when she had given up on a cure he hadn't. Her father had kept trying to find a way for her to get better and now he had possibly found a way but it was too late. "Oh Daddy," she said with a sigh, "it's too late now."

"But if it weren't," Kevin pressed. "If it wasn't too late would you accept the transplant?" Spencer wasn't sure if she would, it wasn't something she had given much thought to. But she knew her father needed the hope. He needed something to hang out to, something to hope for, something to believe when she wasn't around anymore. So she told him yes. She told him that if it weren't too late she would have accepted the transplant. "There she is!" Kevin had cheered somewhat halfheartedly, "my little fighter."

"Xena Warrior Princess?" Toby had suggested, a smile on his face.

Spencer smiled at her younger brother, holding out her hands, waiting for a hug. "I like it," she said with a nod as she hugged her brother tight. "It's got a nice ring to it."

-.-.-.-.-

The next day. While Spencer was having her last MRI done and her family was waiting for the results Puck was moving into his apartment in Austin, Texas. He had flown into Austin the evening before and stayed in a hotel, but now he was moving into his apartment and he had to admit that he was feeling hopeful. He had explored a bit of the city the night before and it was great, he was excited to start classes even with the threat of homework, and his apartment was a great studio just three blocks from the school. Best of all was the hot girl that lived across the hall. It wasn't that Puck planned on dating her, he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to be dating anyone any time soon, but it was nice to know that he had the option. And if the wink and smile the girl had given him when he saw her in the hallway that morning was any indication he definitely had the option with her.

Moving in was busy work, there was a lot of stuff to buy and a lot of organizing and it was fairly easy to keep his mind off Spencer while he moved in. He was worried about what would happen that night, but he didn't need to worry, he was just trying to figure out what he wanted to do for dinner when there was a knock on his apartment door. He opened it up to see a guy who looked close to his age standing in the hallway, "My name's Robbie," the guy said, holding out his hand to Puck, "I heard through the UT grapevine that you're in the architecture program. We're having a beginning of the summer bash tonight if you want to come. It's a good way to meet some people before classes start."

Puck had briefly considered saying no, for just a moment, but before he knew it he was grabbing his jacket and following Robbie out of the apartment building. Spencer had said that she wanted him to go to school. So if he was going to do it he wasn't going to half ass it. Part of going to school was meeting new people and making new friends. If Spencer wanted him to go to school then she was going to have to deal with the fact that he was going to have a whole new life now, with whole new friends that had nothing to do with her or little Lima, Ohio.

There was a moment when he paused, wondering if that thought had been cruel. He hadn't thought about Spencer or worried about her at all that day. And the first thought he had about her was that she was going to have to deal with the fact that he was going to have a life that didn't include her. And then it struck him, that's what she had wanted all along, was for him to have a life that didn't include him. She had pushed him away, upset him, and all but forced him to leave her all because she had wanted this for him. She wanted him to have a life that didn't include worrying about her or cancer and he had been angry with her for it. She was allowing him to move on when she would never get that chance.

He briefly wondered if he would hear about any changes in her condition. If she suddenly got worse and had to go to the hospital would anyone think to call him. If she died would he know? That was a stupid question, of course he would know. She didn't want him to see her die, but she wouldn't not allow him to go to the funeral. She wouldn't refuse to let him say goodbye. And even if she hadn't wanted him there, one of their friends would tell him and he'd go. She wouldn't be able to stop him after all.

"Umm, dude?" the Robbie guy asked as they walked down the street. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Puck said with a nod, "I'm fine, just thinking about a girl."

"A girl?" Robbie asked with a smile on his face. "Must be a special one."

"You have no idea," Puck said, shaking his head. "Pretty sure she doesn't either."

-.-.-.-.-

The MRI had been stressful. Spencer and everyone with her was well aware that this was probably her last MRI, the last time she would ever step foot in the cancer care center. Because of the bed rest order they had planned the MRI appointment around when the technician would be able to read the results. So instead of going home after the test Spencer, Sebastian, and Spencer's family waited in the waiting room for the results to be ready. Sebastian hadn't planned on going with the Anderson family, but two things had made him go. First Spencer had looked absolutely heartbroken when he had told her that he wasn't going to go. She had looked at him with wide eyes and said, "I've already lost Noah, don't make me lose you too." How was he supposed to say no to that? The second thing that had forced him to go was that he was well aware that his days with Spencer were numbered. He didn't want to lose a single one of them.

So there he was, sitting on the waiting room floor with Spencer and Toby.

Toby was sitting on the floor with his sister's head in his lap while Sebastian had her feet. It was as though both of them couldn't bare to not be touching her. As if they were subconsciously making up for all the time they wouldn't have with her later. Spencer had her eyes closed and Sebastian thought she was sleeping until she spoke up, talking to her parents. "Mom," she said softly, her voice almost a whisper - she couldn't get it much louder anymore, "Dad? Can you tell me about your engagement?"

Toby rolled his eyes in Sebastian's direction, a soft smile resting on his lips. "She makes them tell her this story every time Dad comes home," he explained to Sebastian. "Calls it her favorite fairytale. I've heard it so many times that I could probably tell it better than they do."

Sebastian laughed as Spencer reached up and hit Toby, "Just because you don't like the story doesn't mean you can make Sebastian hate it too," she pouted before turning on her side so that she could look at her parents. "Will you tell the story?" she asked, a dreamy, happy look in her eyes.

Kevin glanced at Stacey for a moment before he nodded, "Sure baby," he said, turning back to look at Spencer, "anything you want." He paused for a moment before he started the story. "I was on R and R - a week away from Germany when I met your mother. I had come home to Lima to visit my parents and I was going absolutely crazy in their house so I decided to go out to a bar with some friends of mine from high school."

Stacey snorted and shook her head, "Those kids weren't your friends," she said with a laugh. "You barely knew them. I think you told me that you had met one of them at the grocery store and you were just so desperate to hang with people your own age that you didn't care that they were strangers."

"If I had cared that they were strangers I would have never met you," Kevin countered with a grin before turning back to Spencer. "Your mom was bar tending, waiting for her big singing break. Although she didn't have the voice you have baby girl so I don't know why she thought she was going to get anywhere." Stacey reached out and gently slapped her husband, although Sebastian could see the loving smile resting on her lips. "I fell in love with her the moment I saw her," Kevin admitted, "She was gorgeous and beautiful and she knew it."

"It's hard not to know it when you've got this tall, handsome Navy man staring at you with his mouth hanging wide open," Stacey interrupted with a laugh. "He spent the whole night trying to get my attention and I spent the whole night completely ignoring him."

"And every night after that," Kevin cut in with a grin. "Just made me fall more and more in love with her if I'm being honest."

"And did you love him, Mom?" Spencer asked, like she always did, every time her parents told the story. "Were you falling in love with him?" she knew the answer to the question, knew exactly how her mother would answer it, but she had to ask. It was like it was part of the story.

"Hell no," Stacey said with a smile and a laugh. "I thought he was the most annoying, self-centered, self-righteous man I had ever met. He thought he was amazing because he was in the Navy and had a uniform and I just wanted to knock him down a few pegs, to let him know that he wasn't as great as he thought he was. So he'd ask me out on dates and I would tell him no. Over and over again until one night he made a bet with me."

"I bet her on the Browns game," Kevin said with a grin. "It had been so long since I had seen a football game that I really shouldn't have won the bet, I had no idea what I was talking about. But I won, so she had to go on a date with me."

"He took me flying in his plane," Stacey said, rolling her eyes as if it were the most stupid date she had ever been on. "He really did think he was some hot shit. As if I would fall in love with him just because he could fly a plane. I had more self respect than that." Kevin shook his head, mouthing _no she didn't_ at his daughter as his wife talked. Stacey hit him again before turning back to Spencer, "I would have fallen in love with him if it weren't for the fact that I was acutely aware of the fact that he'd be going back to Germany at the end of his R and R. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that he'd want to stay for me or take me with him."

"But I did," Kevin said with a nod and a grin. "On my last night in town we went to McKinley, your mother graduated from there after all. She brought me to the football field so that she could show me where she and the Cheerios had performed their routines and I told her that I was only going to be in Germany for six more months. I asked her if she was willing to wait for me and she said - "

"Probably not," Stacey interrupted with a smile, a look of pride flashing in her eyes.

"So then I got on one knee and held out a ring box and asked her if she would marry me," Kevin said with another one of his soft smiles for his wife. "This time I got an answer I wanted. This time she said - "

"If I must," Stacey interrupted again before she started to giggle. "Two months later we were married and I have never regretted that decision yet." Sebastian glanced down at Spencer to see that she had tears gathering in her eyes, the smile on her face said that she was happy, but there was something very sad about her face. She asked her mother why she didn't regret marrying a man she barely knew. Stacey smiled at her daughter and said, "Because it gave me three great kids and two pretty awesome grandchildren. I can't regret that for anything."

Spencer smiled again, "I wish I could have a story like that," she said softly. "It really shouldn't have worked out with you guys but it did. You really love each other and you've made it work out even though it was hard, even though I made it difficult. You two made it work."

"You could still have a story like that," Kevin said, hope coloring his tone.

"No," Spencer said as the group was called into Doctor Henderson's office, "Noah was it for me and I chased him away."

It was hard to decipher what kind of news Doctor Henderson had as the group walked into her office. There were tears in the doctor's eyes but that could have been for good news or bad news. Spencer took a deep, calming breath as she sat down in her chair and stared at the doctor, "So what's the diagnosis, doc?" she asked once she was ready for the news. "Am I going to be dead by tomorrow morning?"

Doctor Henderson grinned at her through the tears and shook her head. "We're not out of the woods yet," she said softly, "not even close. But you won't be dying this week, or next week, or any week soon. All of the chemotherapy we've been pumping into your body kept the cancer in your bone marrow at bay, it hasn't spread at all. And the tumors in your chest and back have gotten smaller. They're shrinking at an astonishing rate, you've finally started responding."

"But if she's responding and getting better then why does she keep looking sicker and sicker?" Stacey asked, finally releasing the breath she had been holding and reaching out to squeeze Spencer's shoulder.

Sebastian glanced at Spencer and grinned, her eyes were wide and surprised and she looked as if she was in shock, as if she didn't know what to do with herself or what to say. He thought about Stacey's question and couldn't help but chuckle, "It's all the chemo." He turned to grin at Spencer, "The chemo's worse for you than the cancer after all. Too high of dosage will make you really sick."

Doctor Henderson nodded, "That's exactly what's happening right now. Now, Spencer, you have a choice to make." Spencer nodded at the doctor and waited to hear her choice. "The high high dosages of chemotherapy are indeed making you sick, your tumors are getting smaller and require much smaller doses. If we continue with the high dosage of chemotherapy you will die, but those high doses are exactly what is keeping the cancer in your bone marrow from spreading. If we cut your dosage down to one more appropriate to your tumor size the cancer in the bone marrow will spread. I know you said that you didn't want to be put on the bone marrow transplant list because your tumors were so large that the chance of survival was minimal, but they're smaller now, will keep shrinking with the chemotherapy, they might even be small enough that by the time we find you a bone marrow donor they can be removed during surgery. So your choice is to try to find a bone marrow donor or not. I can give you some time to think about it if you need."

"I don't need any time," Spencer breathed, remembering the conversation she had had with her father the night before and what she had told him. "I don't want to be put on the marrow donor list." She heard her mother gasp and her father's noise of anger. She turned to look at him for a moment, biting back a grin before she winked at him and turned back to Doctor Henderson, "I already have a donor. He was tested recently, found out he was a match. Dad says that he's volunteered if I ever wanted it."

Doctor Henderson glanced over Spencer's shoulder at her father and Kevin nodded, already standing up from his seat so that he could pull his phone out of his pocket and call his friend. Stacey glanced at her husband, surprised by the news, he had never told her about his friend. Doctor Henderson nodded and looked back at Spencer and Stacey, "Okay then," she said softly. "We're going to have to make some plans. Let's get started."

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>So what do you guys think? Do you hate me?  
>I hope not too much!<br>I hope you still want to come back once I post the next chapter.  
>By the way, I may have lied when posting the last chapter... the ending of the story is coming faster than I first assumed.<br>So that (I think it was a) five chapter estimate I gave you last time is a bit shorter now.  
>Not sure how much shorter, but don't worry, there will be an epilogue.<br>Anyway, I hope that you liked this chapter.  
>I want to thank you for reading and hopefully reviewing. I love reviews.<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the recognizable characters. I do, however, own Spencer which I think is pretty cool.

* * *

><p>"Nice digs," Sebastian said with a nod as he walked into Spencer's private hospital room. "If they set me up in a place like this I probably would never want to go home," he continued, his voice serious as he sat down on the bed and patted Spencer's hand softly. Spencer rolled her eyes at her friend and told him to be serious. "I am," Sebastian said with a nod, "I told you that I loved the smell of hospitals, and they've got good cable here, comfortable beds. The food kind of sucks, but they've always got ice cream, that makes up for it." He looked out in the hallway and his eyes lighted on a young looking man in a pair of blue scrubs, "Hot male nurses apparently," he added, turning to grin at Spencer.<p>

Spencer rolled her eyes, "His name is Ryan and he's my doctor, actually." She chose to ignore Sebastian's whispered _even better_ and continued, "He's also married with kids, showed me their pictures while the nurse was setting up my chemo iv." She turned to look at Sebastian and held her hand out to him, waiting for him to take her hand before she asked him, "Are you here to break me out?"

Since deciding to have the bone marrow transplant Spencer had been moved to the hospital because she was going to need daily chemotherapy until the surgery. Doctor Henderson had bumped down the chemo levels because Spencer's tumors hadn't needed large doses anymore, but to ensure that the cancer in her bone marrow didn't spread while they were waiting for her father's friend to travel to Lima and for the transplant to happen she was required to have chemotherapy every day. This left her feeling weak and frail and opened her up to chance of getting sick. So she had been forced to move to a sterile hospital room for the week and a half leading up to her surgery. She absolutely hated it.

She was required to eat special food, she couldn't leave her hospital room, wasn't even allowed out of bed without the help of a nurse. And it smelt way too clean. Everything had to be sterilized, people had to change out of their street clothes and into scrubs and latex gloves if they wanted to touch her. She had a limit on how many visitors could see her at once (two) and there was a limit on how long they could stay (an hour). And no one, not even her parents, was allowed to spend the night with her. So when visiting hours ended at five o'clock in the evening Spencer was left alone in the room with no one besides her nurses.

The chemotherapy had been hell so far too. The lower dosages were great, but the daily chemo had taken a toll on Spencer's eating habits. She could hardly keep anything down because of the nausea and the Neulasta shots that she received every evening to promote bone marrow growth were killing her, but they happened after visiting hours there was no one there to distract her or take her mind off the shot, not that anyone would be able to do that the way Noah had been able to.

All of her friends had made it to see her at least once, some of them more. And she had so much fun while they were there, but then they always had to leave because _she needed her rest_. And she was left alone to wonder what would happen if the bone marrow transplant didn't work. What if she had finally allowed herself to hope that she would get better and then instead she ended up dying. Sebastian continually told her that she shouldn't worry about things like that, but it was hard not to when she was left alone with nothing but her thoughts at night and the beep of her heart rate monitor.

The only person who hadn't come to visit her was Noah, not that she was surprised. She had chased him away after all. She had told him that she didn't need him and that she didn't love him. At the time she had wanted him to believe her, hoped for it, prayed for it even. She couldn't be unhappy now, just because he had. She had also begged their friends not to tell him that she was having the surgery, that she might be getting better. Sam had told her that he talked to Noah almost every day and that he was doing really well at school. He was enjoying his classes, doing well in them too; and that had even made some friends. Spencer didn't fool herself into thinking that he would come running back to Lima if he knew what was going on with her, but she didn't want to risk it just in case he would. She didn't want to take this success from him. She'd find him once she was sure that she was healthy.

Sebastian snapped his fingers in front of Spencer's face, drawing her attention back to him and the current moment. "No, sweetie. You know I can't spring you from here. I would if I could, but we all want you healthy." Spencer rolled her eyes and asked him what good he was to her if he wasn't going to spring her out of the hospital. Sebastian grinned down at her for a moment before he pulled a dvd case out of his bag. "Brought you something," he said, his face suddenly nervous.

"Ooh," Spencer cooed, clapping her hands together in excitement. "What did you bring me? Is it gay porn? I've never seen gay porn, could be entertaining. Besides, it would give the nurses something else to freak out over besides the fact that I don't eat anymore. Can you imagine their faces if they walked in her and saw me watching gay porn?"

Sebastian smiled at his friend's laughing face before he shook his head, his face becoming nervous again, "It's not gay porn. I'm not even sure if I should show this to you. We took a vote when we got it and the group thought you should see it. I didn't agree, but majority rules. It's going to hurt," he warned as he lifted Spencer's computer onto the bed and put the dvd into the disk drive. "If it gets too painful let me know and we'll stop it," he cautioned before he pressed play.

Spencer rolled her eyes at her friend, she was sure that he was overreacting about whatever was on the dvd. But as soon as the video started and Noah's voice filled the small hospital room she understood and even felt as though he hadn't given her enough warning for what she was about to see.

"Hello Glee losers!" Noah's voice called from her computer, he wasn't on the screen, the image was of a large, official looking building. "And welcome to Austin, Texas!" For the next thirty minutes Noah's voice filled Spencer's ears as he gave the Glee kids a short tour of the city. He brought them to his school, his apartment, his favorite bar, the field where he and his friends played touch football on Sunday mornings. He brought them to the bridge in the city where all the bats hung out and his favorite architectural buildings in the city. All the while he talked to the Glee kids, telling them what he loved about the city, what he missed about Lima and asking them how they were doing. Never once did he bring up Spencer, not that she could blame him. By the time he was ready to sign off there were tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Well that's all for now, I guess!" Noah called, turning his video camera around so that he could film his face. "Take care of yourselves and I'll see you at Christmas, maybe." He paused for a moment, looking past the camera for a moment, thinking about something. He shook his head and swallowed a lump in his throat before looking back at the camera. "And look after Spence would you? I know you guys will, but do it for me. Just don't," he paused and swallowed another lump in his throat, "don't tell her it's for me, okay?"

There was still a minute or so left of the video but Spencer couldn't take it anymore. She quickly reached out and slammed the top of her laptop down so that she wouldn't have to look at Noah's face anymore. Sebastian quickly moved the computer off the bed before he scooted closer to Spencer and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "You didn't have to watch that part, you know?" he said softly. "I told you to tell me if it got too hard for you to watch. We could have stopped watching a while ago."

"No," Spencer said, shaking her head. "I needed to see all of it. I needed to make sure that he was okay." She glanced up at Sebastian, the tears still sparkling in her eyes, "And he is okay," she said. "He's happy there. I was worried about that. I mean I practically made the choice for him. I was worried that I made a mistake, that he was going to hate it and be miserable there. But he doesn't. You saw the video, he loves it there."

"He does," Sebastian said with a nod, "but he would have loved staying here with you too. He would have loved being here for this, to watch you recover. Don't you think you should let him know, give him the option to come back home and be with you. He may love Austin, but I bet he loves you more. He'd come back for you."

"But don't you get it?" Spencer asked, shaking her head sadly, "I didn't just send him away because I was dying. I sent him away because Austin, Texas is where he belongs. It doesn't matter that I'm getting healthier, maybe recovering. He belongs there. If I get better I'll go find him."

"_When _you get better you'll go find him," Sebastian said, his tone stubborn.

Spencer rolled her eyes at him, but laughed, "Fine," she said as a nurse entered the room to kick Sebastian out. "When I get better," she continued as she hugged him goodbye and prepared for a long, painful, lonely evening.

-.-.-.-.-

"It's game day!" Toby all but cheered when he walked into Spencer's hospital room two days later. Spencer looked up from her computer, she had been replaying Noah's video whenever she could since Sebastian had given it to her but today she had just paused it on an image of his face, just so she could look at him. She quickly closed her laptop so that her brother couldn't see what she was looking at. She smiled up at her brother and held her arms out to the side, silently asking for a hug. "Scared?" Toby asked as he moved closer to the bed and wrapped Spencer up in his arms. Spencer shook her head, she wasn't scared. "Nervous?" Toby tried again.

"Yes," Spencer said with a sigh. "Just a little bit nervous. But mostly I'm just ready for this all to be over. I've been so tired of cancer for so long and now there's hope that I'll get better, that it'll be over soon. Mostly I'm excited. I'm so ready for this day and this surgery to be over."

Toby nodded and reached out to open Spencer's computer. He sighed when they were met with the image of Noah's face. "You could tell him what's going on, you know?" he asked, nodding toward the computer. He wouldn't have to come home, it'd be too late for him to come home now, but you could tell him. He'd want to know, Spence, you know that."

"And what am I supposed to do exactly?" Spencer asked her brother, groaning as she leaned her head back onto the pillow behind her. "Hey I know I broke your heart, practically pushed you out of Lima, told you that I didn't love you, and called you a Lima Loser. But guess what, the tumors have shrunk, I found a bone marrow donor, and I might get better. So I take all that shit back?" She scoffed and turned her head to look at her brother. "I'm sure that would go over really well."

"Probably not," Toby said with a soft smile. "You could always try the truth?" Spencer laughed a cold laugh and asked Toby what his version of the truth was. "That you were stupid and you love him too and that you were just too much of a pussy to admit it," Toby said with a shrug as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

Spencer could not stop the gasp of surprise as she leaned forward on the bed and stared at her brother, "I cannot believe you just said that!" she crowed, clapping her hands together. "Mom would kill you if she knew you used that word! I should totally tell her. She's going to be so concerned and nervous about today and probably drive me insane. If it gets too bad I'm totally going to say, _oh, by the way mom - Toby called me a pussy today_. She'd love that!"

"Don't you dare!" Toby warned, but he couldn't keep the laughter from his voice. He could just imagine what his mother's face would look like if Spencer dropped that bit of information into a conversation. She might not say anything to him today, might be too concerned about Spencer's surgery, but it would come out later when she was sure that Spencer was okay and it wouldn't be pretty. "She'd wait until she was sure you weren't going to die and then she'd kill me!" Toby pointed out.

Spencer smiled at him for a moment before her face grew serious, "How long until my surgery starts?" she asked softly. Toby gave her a puzzled look, he had assumed that of all people the patient would know when her surgery was. Spencer sighed, "They don't want me to be too nervous so they haven't told me. I know it's today, but I have no idea when and for some reason they think this will make me less nervous than knowing. All keeping it a secret has done is make me jump every time someone walks into my room because I think they're getting ready to take me to surgery." She shook her head and laughed, "It's really done a lot to calm my nerves," she said sarcastically.

Toby sighed and gestured for his sister to move over so that he could sit on the bed next to her. Once he was situated comfortably, with one arm wrapped around her thin, boney shoulders he looked at his watch. "Your surgery is in T minus one hour and twenty minutes, big sister."

"An hour and twenty minutes?" Spencer asked, surprise coloring her tone, that was a lot sooner than she had expected. "That's fine," she said with a nod. "The sooner they get me in there the sooner they'll know if it worked. That's perfect." She turned to look at Toby, "Where will you be during the surgery?" she asked.

"They've given us a viewing room above the operating room," Toby said with a shrug. "Not just the family, but your friends from Glee club and Sebastian. So we'll all be up there watching you." Spencer looked confused for a moment, the viewing rooms were usually for doctors that wanted to observe a surgery, not for the family of the patient. She was willing to bet all of her money that her mother had something to do with this, that the woman must have bitched and complained so much that the hospital finally decided to just give her what she wanted. She asked Toby if her suspicions were right. Toby grinned, "Mom did go a little crazy with the complaining," he admitted. "But it was Sebastian that finally convinced them, he offered to rent the room for the duration of the surgery. And what hospital's going to say no to a couple thousand dollars?"

Spencer rolled her eyes and turned over so that she was curled into her brother's side, her head resting against his chest. Her family and friends were completely crazy. There was no denying that, but she couldn't fault them for it. She would be just as crazy if it were one of them in her situation. It just meant that they loved her. She sighed, suddenly wishing that she hadn't chased Noah away, wishing that she had told him the truth - that she loved him too. Because right now, with her surgery looming over her, she could really use him.

An hour later Spencer was woken up from her nap against her brother when a nurse walked in, ready to prep her for surgery.

-.-.-.-.-

"Think she's going to be okay?" Sam asked, standing up from his seat and walking over to the glass window so he could look down at Spencer. They had prepped her for surgery and she was now in the operating room waiting for the anesthesiologist. "She looks so small down there, how is she going to make it through the surgery?"

"Don't let her mom hear you say that," Mike warned walking over to stand next to Sam and waving down at Spencer when she caught sight of them and waved to the boys. "She's going to be. She has to be. She's been through too much to get this big break and then not live, you know?"

"You're right," Sam said with a nod. "God wouldn't give her this chance to live and then take it away from her. He's not cruel."

"God has nothing to do with it," Sebastian muttered, moving to stand next to the two boys and watching as the anesthesiologist moved closer to his small friend and put a mask over her face. "If there was a God he wouldn't have given Spencer cancer to begin with. He wouldn't have been so cruel as to let her get it when she was five and he wouldn't have put her through everything she's been through this year." He glanced over to see Sam looking at him in surprise and tried to look apologetic for his very anti-christian rant, he just couldn't understand how someone who had seen everything Spencer had been through in the last year could believe in a God, at least a good one. Because of all the people on earth Sebastian was sure that Spencer least deserved to get cancer.

Spencer looked even smaller once she was unconscious. Sebastian felt a pang and nervousness as the doctors moved around the small girl on the operating table, he was angry at them for the pain they were going to inflict on her even if it was going to help her get better. Stacey was already crying in the corner and the surgery hadn't even happened yet. Her marrow donor had had it easy, Sebastian had met him on the day he donated his marrow and the man had been nice enough, and happy enough to donate the bone marrow but Sebastian had the feeling that was because it was an easy process for the donor. The way Spencer had explained it all the man, his name was Shane, had to do was take medicine that would make some of his stem cells leave his bone marrow and circulate with his regular blood. After three days of taking the medicine Shane had gone the hospital and basically given blood - the nurse had inserted a needle into one of his arms the blood had been filtered through a machine that collected all the stem cells and then inserted back into his blood system with another needle in his other arm. That easy - after an hour he was done.

Spencer wasn't going to be so lucky. The daily chemotherapy had basically depleted all of her bone marrow she had spent a week in a hospital worried about getting a major infection, another risk of low bone marrow was the risk of severe internal bleeding. Spencer hadn't shared that bit of information with Sebastian until right before she went to surgery. He had spent the week thinking that she was staying in the hospital just because she was too weak to leave, he didn't know that it was because the doctors were worried about internal bleeding. Spencer could have been bleeding to death all week and he wouldn't have known.

In most cases the donated stem cells were inserted into the patient the same way they were taken out of the donor. In most cases the stem cells simply had to be introduced into the patients blood system and they would find their way into the long bones and start producing marrow. Usually transplant patients could be awake and it was a relatively painless process. Spencer wasn't going to be so lucky. The tumor in her back had gotten small enough to remove but the one in her chest was still too big, it still needed chemotherapy. Spencer's doctors were worried about the affect the chemotherapy would have on the circulating stem cells. So they would be inserting them directly into Spencer's long bones while other doctors removed the tumor from Spencer's back. Then she would be chemotherapy free for two weeks, giving the stem cells time to do their job before she got one or two final large doses of chemotherapy that would hopefully kill the remaining cancer in her body.

Spencer's family and friends waited with bated breath as the doctors flipped Spencer over onto her stomach so that they could see her back. And then it seemed as though every one of them just started cutting. There was so much blood, Sebastian honestly wasn't surprised when Santana who had been standing next to him turned so that she could bury her face in his shoulder. Doctors had used a scalpel to cut into Spencer's back to get to the tumor, to cut slits in her legs and arms so they could get the transplant needle to the bone. Sebastian didn't like to think about how that needle piercing a bone would feel. It took an hour for them to remove the tumor from her back. Once they were done with that they stitched her up and flipped her over so they could put one more transplant needle into her hip bone. Sebastian had done enough research to know that the femurs, humorous bones, and hip bones were the biggest bone marrow producers but he didn't understand why they had to put stem cells in each of the bones, in all of his research they had only done it in one. Had Spencer had cancer in all of those bones?

Once they had cleaned Spencer up, Spencer's main doctor - the one Sebastian had thought was cute turned to the glass windows of the observation room and gave all of the observers a thumbs up, indicating that, at least in his opinion, the surgery had been a success. Sebastian wasn't sure if he agreed with that. He wasn't sure if it could be considered a success at all, they wouldn't know, they would have to run tests to make sure that the cancer didn't infect the new bone marrow cells. But Sebastian was sure that anything that made Spencer look so broken and small and helpless could never be considered a success.

-.-.-.-.-

When Spencer started to wake up she was aware of two things. First of all she was in pain, everywhere hurt and she wanted to cry. But she wasn't alone, she could hear hushed voices all around her and she refused to cry in front of whoever else was in her hospital room. They didn't know she was awake yet and Spencer took advantage of that, she kept her eyes closed for a little longer than necessary, just listening and trying to figure out who was in her room. She could hear Santana and Britney, Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Rachel, her mom and dad were there, Toby and Sarah, she could hear Tina laughing at something Mike had said. Sam and Quinn were there, Zachary and Mason were there, Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury were there, Sebastian, and ... she was about to open her eyes - she didn't know how he got there but she swore that she could hear Noah's voice, she wondered who had not listened to her request and had instead called Noah to tell her about her surgery. But before she could open her eyes something he said registered in her head, he was talking about his favorite building in Austin, discussing the architectural genius of the building. He wasn't really there, someone was just playing his video. That hurt more than it should have.

Spencer sighed deeply before she forced herself to open her eyes and look around the room. It got quiet instantly. Her friends and family stood and sat around her bed staring at her. It seemed as though none of them knew what to say to her, how to even begin talking to her. She figured that the surgery had been a failure and none of them knew how to tell her. She swallowed around the painful lump in her throat, "What does a girl have to go through to get a glass of water and some pain killers in this place?" she asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

It worked, suddenly everyone was talking and laughing at the same time and Tracy was handing Spencer a glass of cold water and pressing the button next to her hospital bed that administered a dosage of some very nice pain killers. Spencer looked around and noticed all the smiles on everyone's faces, maybe she had been wrong about the outcome of the surgery, people wouldn't be smiling so much if it had failed. She didn't want to get her hopes up though she she knotted her fingers together in her lap and looking down at her fingers she asked softly, "So is anyone going to tell me how the surgery turned out?"

It got quiet again and Spencer flinched when she felt someone sit down on the bed next to her, the movement of the bed hurt her bones. Her mother scooted next to her and very carefully wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders. She waited until Spencer was looking at her before she said with tears in her eyes, "One tumor down, one to go baby girl." Spencer stared at her mother for a moment before it sank in and she turned to look at the rest of her friends, a large grin spreading across her lips. That was when everyone started cheering loudly and it took three warnings and threats to kick everyone out from the head nurse until they quieted down.

That night, once everyone had gone home Spencer sat up in her hospital bed and thought about what she was going to do now. At one point during the mini celebration in her hospital room Sebastian had walked over to her and handed her a folded up piece of paper. It was the bucket list she had made at his house once when she was high after a chemotherapy appointment. She grinned down at the paper, her finger tracing over the lines that crossed several of the things off her list. Sebastian had grinned down at the list too, "So if this all works out like I know it will," he started, reaching out to give her hand a gentle squeeze, "and your bone marrow starts acting like it's supposed to and the tumor in your chest goes away like we all want it to - what are you going to do then?"

Spencer glanced at the list for a moment, trying to figure out what was the next thing that she wanted to do, she pointed at the thing on the list and looked up at Sebastian with a grin on her face, "Travel around Europe with my best friend?" she asked him, her wide eyes pleading with the boy playfully.

Sebastian glanced at the list for a moment, pretending to be thoughtful before he nodded. "I could live with that. Figured that was going to be your choice." Spencer laughed at him and asked him why he had asked her if he knew what her answer was going to be. Sebastian gave her a grim smile, "I was thinking that maybe you would want to travel somewhere alone first, somewhere a bit closer to home, say Texas for example?"

Noah's face had instantly filled Spencer's mind and she could almost picture it, her showing up at his apartment one afternoon and surprising him with the news that not only was she one hundred per cent better, but that she loved him as well. But she surprised Sebastian a little bit when she shook her head, "I've caused him enough pain," she said softly, folding up her bucket list and handing it back to Sebastian, "maybe it's time that I left him alone to live his life without worrying about me, you know?"

-.-.-.-.-

A few hours later and a couple thousand miles away Noah Puckerman opened up a text message from Sam Evans: _Surgery's done, one tumor's gone and the other's shrinking. Our girl's beating this_.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Oh my god! Guys!  
>I am so sorry! I had this huge writer's block. And kind of abandoned this story.<br>And then! Out of nowhere last week it disappeared and I finished the story! I'm going to be posting all the chapters soon!  
>I hope that you enjoyed this one!<br>And thank you for sticking with me!  
>Please review! I do love hearing from you!<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the recognizable characters. I do, however, own Spencer Anderson which is pretty cool.

* * *

><p>"Congratulations!" everyone yelled as Spencer and Sebastian walked into her house. It was a bright sunny day toward the end of August, it had taken almost three months but as of yesterday Spencer was cancer free again. The tumor in her chest had shrunk at an amazing rate, the new bone marrow had been a perfect match, it was working like it was supposed to and had been tested last week, the results had come back the day before that there was no cancer in her bones anymore and when Doctor Henderson had done the x-ray the tumor in her chest was gone too. Spencer couldn't even begin to describe how she felt at that moment, there was definite relief, it felt amazing to have beat the cancer that months ago she had been sure would kill her. And there was happiness; happiness over the fact that her family wouldn't have to suffer through her death, happiness that she was going to be able to grow up, to do all the things on her bucket list, and hopefully she'd never have to go through this again. But there was also a feeling of confusion. For as long as she could remember she had been worried about cancer, concerned about it coming back, going to doctor appointments for every single possible symptom. She was confused now, what was she going to do with her life now that she might not have to worry about that ever again. (She had shared that thought with Sebastian on the way back from the tattoo parlor where she had finally finished that tattoo. She had asked him what she was supposed to do now and his answer had been, "That's the beauty of it all, Babe ... you can do whatever you want now." He was right too, she could do whatever she wanted.) And lastly there was a feeling of sadness; sadness for both Noah and herself. She had chased him away just two weeks before everything had turned around for her. She had broken his heart so that he wouldn't have to watch her die, just to turn around and get healthy again. If that wasn't cliched irony she had no idea what was. She had only heard from him once since he moved to Texas. He had called her after her surgery. She had answered, assuming that he was going to hang up on her, that the call had been an accident. But it wasn't, he meant to call her.<p>

_"Hey Spence," he had said. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Good," Spencer had said, trying her hardest not to cry on the phone. "Really good actually. What about you? How's Texas?"_

_Noah had paused, she could hear the hesitation over the phone before he spoke again, "Actually, I didn't call to talk about Texas. I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy that you're getting better. That this is working out for you. So yeah, I'm happy." _

_Spencer knew he was about to hang up on her now. She knew him well enough to know that he had been hoping that she wouldn't answer the phone, that he would get the voicemail. He hadn't actually planned to talk to her and now he was regretting even making the phone call. "Wait!" she said, stopping Noah before he could hang up on her. "I'm going to be sticking around Lima for a while, at least through the end of the summer. Do you have a break between your summer semester and your fall one? Could you come home? I'd really like to see you again."_

_Noah sighed, his breath shuddering and it broke Spencer's heart to hear it. She had done that to him, she had caused him that much pain. How could she ever forgive herself for that? How could she ever expect him to forgive her for that? "It's um, probably better if I didn't Spencer," Noah said softly. "Better for me. Um, I've got to go, I've got a study group coming over to the apartment and I've still got to shower. But I'm really happy that you're getting healthier." He paused again and Spencer found herself wondering if he had already hung up on her. She was about to hang up the phone when she heard him say softly, "You deserve it." _

_And then, only after she had heard the click that signified that Noah really had hung up on her did she whisper, "I love you Noah," before she put her phone down._

Spencer could still remember that phone call like it was yesterday, although it had been months since she had last heard from him. She had tried calling him a few times, but he never picked up and she never left voicemails. She had sent him countless text messages saying that she needed to talk to him, but they all went unanswered. A part of her had a feeling that more than unanswered they went unread too. According to facebook Noah was enjoying school, his classmates were great and there was even a girl that he seemed to be dating, at least if her posts on his wall were any indication. It had broken Spencer's heart to do it, but she had finally forced herself to block Noah's activity from coming up on her newsfeed, she wanted him to be happy - wanted it desperately, but that didn't mean that she wanted to watch it happen with someone that wasn't her. She supposed that a part of her had always assumed that if she got better they would just pick up where they left off. That Noah would let her apologize and then everything would go back to what it had been before she broke his heart. She was wrong.

Spencer shook her head, forcing thoughts of Noah away and forcing a smile onto her lips. Today wasn't about Noah, or the fact that her heart was slowly breaking into a billion tiny pieces. Today was about the fact that she was completely healthy and her friends and family wanted to celebrate that. She clapped her hands together, forcing herself to be excited. "You guys really didn't have to do this," she said as her mother walked up and wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders. "Seriously guys, this is too big, too nice. I would have been happy with just pizza and a movie."

"Are you going to deprive us of the celebration we've only been waiting to have since you got rediagnosed?" Stacey asked, kissing the top of Spencer's head. Her hair was slowly growing back, it wasn't long yet, it was basically peach fuzz, but the fact was that it was growing, Spencer now had hair on her head. "Because you're already leaving next week, breaking my heart. You can't take this away from me too."

Spencer laughed at her mother. "Fine, Mom," she sighed. "I won't take this away from you. Let's party!" Everyone standing in the front hallway of her house let out a large cheer at that statement. And Spencer was basically passed from one person to another as everyone wanted to hug her and congratulate her on the fact that she was finally healthy. By the time Spencer had made it to the back living room where she and the Glee club had spent the Christmas party together she felt exhausted. She smiled brightly at her best friends from high school as Sam pulled her down onto the couch between him and Blaine and wrapped his arm around her. "What are you guys doing in here?" Spencer asked, leaning her head against Sam's shoulder, her bright smile shifting into a softer, more content one.

"Waiting for you," Santana said with a shrug. "We figured you'd need a break after all those hugs and people. And when we first got here we raided your bedroom."

"You raided my bedroom?" Spencer asked, raising her eyebrows and wondering what her friends had been looking for. "What'd you find?" she asked. Sebastian chuckled and silently held up a tiny bag that Spencer knew the Glee kids had found in her underwear drawer. "My medical marijuana?" she asked, a smile spreading across her lips as she glanced around the room, her gaze landing on each of her friends, resting slightly longer on the ones that were the biggest surprises. She could not imagine Rachel, Blaine, Kurt, or Quinn getting high. "You want to get high?"

"Just this once," Quinn said with a nod.

"To celebrate the fact that you'll never have to use this stuff again," Rachel added, an encouraging smile on her lips.

"To celebrate the end of our youth," Kurt said, a playful sad look on his face. "From now on we're going to have to be adults, get real jobs and the like."

"Speak for yourself," Spencer and Blaine said at the same time, giving each other a high five. Blaine still had a year left of school and Spencer was taking off the next week to travel around Europe with Sebastian until Christmas. The kids in the group that had to get real jobs groaned and grumbled about how Spencer and Blaine were so lucky, but the atmosphere was playful. Spencer smiled at the group, "Okay then," she said, "Let's light this up and get high!" She half expected someone to tell her that they were joking, but no one did.

-.-.-.-.-

The next four months were hell for Noah Puckerman. During the summer after he had called Spencer to tell her that he was happy that things were working out and that she was getting better he had hoped and almost prayed that Spencer would stop calling an texting him. But now that she had, now that she was finally getting on with her life he found himself wishing she would still text him, begging him to call her so that they could talk.

It had taken everything out of him to make that phone call. He had spent days telling himself that he wasn't going to call her, that he didn't need to call her. This is what she had wanted after all, she had wanted him to leave her alone. So why shouldn't that be the same now that she was healthy? No, he wasn't going to call her, he wasn't going to call her. But then, three days after her surgery he caved and called her, planning to leave her a voicemail. She answered and he briefly contemplated hanging up on her, but before he could he had already said hello to her. She had asked him how Texas was, as though they were still friends and they talked all the time. And for a moment Puck wanted to tell her everything.

He wanted to tell her about his favorite professor, the one that had told him that he had more potential than he wanted to believe. He wanted to tell her about his friends and how much fun they had on the weekends, but that it would be more fun if she was there too. He wanted to tell her that all of his friends knew about her and that they were thrilled that she had gotten better too. He wanted to invite her out to Texas to visit him so that he could show her everything he loved about the city. And the dog he was thinking about getting. He wanted her to come out for a football game in the fall, and to tell her how grateful he was for her having made him fill out those college applications. Because he was finally beginning to understand why people went to college. But he couldn't tell her any of those things because the truth was that they weren't dating anymore, they weren't even friends anymore.

So instead he shut her down and simply told her that the was happy that she was getting better. She asked him if he could come home at the end of the summer, that she wanted to see him and that surprised him. Why would she want to see him? She was the one that had sent him away. He wanted to yell at her then, to tell her that she couldn't ask him to do it, because he knew that if she really wanted him to visit he would. Part of him wanted to hate her for what she had done to him, but he still loved her deep down. And anything she honestly needed, he would try to give to her. That wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of her to ask and he wanted to tell her that. But this phone call wasn't supposed to upset her, she was recovering from surgery after all, so instead he settled for simply telling her that it would be better for him if he didn't visit Lima, or her. And then he quickly ended the phone call, lying about a fake study group that was coming to his apartment so that he'd have a reason to hang up the phone. She had let him and it was only after he hung up the phone that he finally told her what he had really wanted to say throughout the entire call, "I love you, Spencer."

For the rest of the summer she called or texted him everyday. He never picked up the phone when she called and she never left a voicemail, he'd read her text messages, but he never responded. She kept asking for him to call her. She wanted to talk to him, but he couldn't understand what she wanted to talk about. She had made it clear that she didn't want him as a boyfriend. Was she trying to be friends with him? Just friends? Because that wasn't something he could do. He could never be just friends with Spencer Anderson. And he didn't know how to explain that to her without sounding like a pussy, so he simply didn't respond to any of her attempts to talk to him.

To distract him from her, he forced himself to go out on the weekends with his friends. He met and slept with girls in the same day until he met this tall blonde who was the complete opposite of Spencer. At that moment, she seemed perfect to him because there was nothing about her that was remotely similar to Spencer. They started dating and on most days he was even able to convince himself that he was happy with her. If she knew that he was simply using her as a distraction she never brought it up and he was thankful for that. They got along pretty well, never talked about their lives before they met, their friends, or their families though. Puck would be lying if he said that he didn't miss having meaningful conversations with his girlfriend.

And then one day, at the beginning of September Spencer called and left him a voicemail. Puck spent twenty minutes staring at the icon on his phone, daring himself to either listen to the damn thing or delete it. In the end he chose to do neither, he simply left it there on his phone, an unlistened to voicemail that he could never bring himself to delete. The calls and the text messages stopped after that. When Puck went to Spencer's facebook he learned that the day she had left the voicemail was the last day she was in America. After that she and Sebastian spent their time traveling through Europe. Puck tried to force himself to stay away from her facebook page, but he couldn't. He visited it at least once a day, every day. It was flooded with messages from her mother telling her not to exert herself too much, requests from their friends to bring them home chocolate (Rachel) or absinthe (Santana), and more pictures than Puck could imagine.

By the looks of it they were having fun. They had been to the Berlin wall, Munich, Auschwitz , the Swiss Alps, in one video she had posted on her page she and Sebastian were running down some road in Switzerland singing a song that Puck recognized from the time she had made him watch _The Sound of Music_ he assumed that might have been where it was filmed. They went to Italy and Rome, England, Spain, France. Puck recognized several of the places had been on her bucket list of things she wanted to see before she died. He couldn't help but be happy for her that she was getting to complete the list, that was good - even if it was without him.

According to facebook she was home in Lima for Christmas, Puck wouldn't have known because he didn't go home. One of her statuses caught his attention though, it appeared right after New Years. _This New Year's Eve wasn't as good as last year but I'm so thankful that I got to celebrate it. Tomorrow's moving day, if you're looking for me look in the 917! NYC here we come! _with _Mike Chang _and_ Sebastard Smythe_.

That surprised Puck, he had always figured that she wouldn't stay in Lima for long. But he hadn't realized that she would be making the move so soon. Hell, he had even planned to go home for spring break, maybe he would have talked to her like she had been asking him to all summer, but now they wouldn't have the chance because it seemed that she was the one leaving. She had truly moved on in her life and maybe it was time that he do so as well.

-.-.-.-.-

"You look nice," Mike called out from the couch where he and Sebastian were watching Monday Night Football. Spencer had just walked out of her bedroom and if her friend was being honest he would have to admit that she looked gorgeous. Her hair was growing back, it wasn't as long as it had once been, but it fell to slightly past her shoulders, it was too short for her to curl it like she had in high school so instead she had pulled it into a low side ponytail, her sideswept bangs pinned to the side so that it covered one of her ears. She had changed out of the leotard and tights that she wore to work into a tight black dress. It went down to just above her knees, the split going pretty high in the back, the sleeves were thick tank-top straps and the neckline was a sweetheart one so that it showed off some cleavage.

"I better look good," Spencer said with a chuckle as she stood on one foot and then the other so that she could put her high heels on. "I spent half my last paycheck on this outfit." Sebastian glanced at her for a moment before looking back a the television screen and asking, his voice bored where the guy was taking her. "One if By Land, Two if By Sea," Spencer said as she moved toward the kitchen table where she had left her jewelry. "You know, in the West Village."

"Didn't Rachel make Finn take her there for their anniversary this year?" Mike asked, curious. Spencer nodded and said that Rachel had absolutely loved the place. "It was voted the most romantic restaurant in New York City last year, right?" Mike continued. Spencer nodded again as she walked back towards her bedroom to get her coat and purse.

"He's taking you to the most romantic restaurant in the city on your first date?" Sebastian yelled after her. He turned to look at Mike, "Someone thinks he's getting laid tonight," he joked, his voice quieter so that Spencer couldn't hear him. But she had.

"No he doesn't," she said as she walked back into the living room, slipping her black trench coat on and modeling her outfit for her male roommates. They simply shrugged at her and she growled, "You two are no use to me. You," she said, pointing at Mike, "should tell me what you would do to Tina if she was dressed like this. And you," she said, pointing at Sebastian, "should give me any gay fashion advice you have about this outfit. Where are Finn and Kurt when I need them?"

"Downtown?" Sebastian supplied, a smile spreading across his lips. "At their own apartments?" Then he turned to Mike, his smile becoming a grin. "She wants to know what a straight guy would do if his date was dressed like that. Someone really is getting laid tonight."

"I hope not here," Mike muttered, remembering the last time Spencer had brought a guy home. Their apartment was pretty big for what they were paying for it. But the walls were thin and Mike's bedroom shared a wall with Spencer's. He didn't want to hear her bring a guy home ever again.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Guys, no one is getting laid tonight. Especially not on this date. Mark is a gentleman. We're simply going out to eat dinner and then we're going to take a walk around Central Park. And then he's going to take me back here, maybe kiss me at the door. And then he's going to go home."

"He's taking you on a walk in Central Park after dark?" Mike asked, concerned. "You're not worried that he's going to rape and murder you and then hide your body in the woods are you?"

"I wasn't until now," Spencer said, her tone playful as she rolled her eyes.

"We're just saying, Voldemort," Sebastian said, smiling at the nickname that had never quite died, though her hair had started to grow back. "We don't live in little, small town, Lima, Ohio anymore. People rape and murder girls that look like you here. Bring your pepper spray with you just in case.'

"You guys are worse than my mother," Spencer said, biting back as smile as her date knocked on the door. "I'm going to go enjoy myself now. Don't wait up."

"See," Sebastian said, looking at Mike, "someone is getting laid tonight."

"Do we get to meet him?" Mike asked, grinning. "We have some questions for him about his intentions with our beautiful roommate."

"Good night," Spencer said, shooting a playful glare at her roommates before she opened the door and quickly slipped through it so that they wouldn't be able to yell anything to her date.

-.-.-.-.-

"So tell me about yourself," Spencer said with a smile once she and her date had been seated at the table. Her boys had been right, this restaurant was very fancy and very romantic, maybe it was a bad place to have a first date. But she had always wanted to come here so when Mark had suggested they go there for dinner on their first date she hadn't argued. She was beginning to realize how little she knew about Mark, he was a law student at Columbia, she had met him when she went there to pick Sebastian up for lunch once and they had been texting for a while. But she really didn't know anything about the man.

"Well," Mark said with a smile. "I'm a law student at Columbia, but you already knew that. I'm from Houston, Texas and I went to the University of Virginia for undergrad." That surprised Spencer, she had known from Mark's accent that he was from somewhere out west, but she hadn't realized it was Texas, there was something about him being from so close to where Noah was right now that bothered her. "When I'm not at school I work at the natural history museum as a tour guide. It's nothing special but it pays the bills and allows me to take pretty girls like you out on dates. I like to play rugby and go bike riding around Central Park, I'm a coffee fiend, and I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Spencer blushed and bit her lip at the last one, that wasn't what she had expected. Mark reached across the table and held her hand, his thumb gently brushing over her knuckles, it felt good - but it didn't feel rough. His hands weren't as rough and calloused as Noah's had been after years of playing the guitar. "You're turn," he said with a grin. "Tell me about yourself."

Spencer opened her mouth to begin telling him about herself, but she found that she wasn't sure what to tell him, what to say. She didn't want to tell him about the cancer which was sad because as much as she had hated the cancer it was what made her who she was. Spencer Anderson was fully aware that she was the person she was today because of the years of cancer. And she wouldn't have traded that for anything. But she wasn't going to tell Mark that. "Well," she said with a slow nod. "I'm a dance instructor at the Edwards Dance Academy in the upper east side. It's a high school that focuses solely on dance and musical theater. My roommate Mike works there too." Mark nodded and asked her if she had met Mike through the school. "No," Spencer said, shaking her head with a smile resting on her lips. "Mike and I have known each other since high school. We moved here together with our other roommate Sebastian. He and I have been best friends for almost two years. We actually went to Europe together last year, spent August through December there just traveling and eating. I'm pretty sure I gained almost twenty pounds when we were there."

"You can't tell," Mark said, his eyes drifting from her face to what he could see of Spencer's body. "So two male roommates?" he asked, "anything I should worry about?"

"No," Spencer said with a grin even as Noah's face flashed in her mind. "Mike is in love with his girlfriend Tina. They're going to get married someday. And Sebastian's gay so there's nothing to worry about on that front." Spencer didn't mention that there was also the fact that she was pretty sure that her relationship with Mark wasn't going to extend past the first date. It wouldn't be fair to him when she was obviously still in love with Noah.

"Gay?" Mark asked, a look that Spencer wasn't particularly fond of crossing across his face. "And you're okay with that?"

"It doesn't really matter if I'm okay with it," Spencer pointed out, her tone cold. "It's Sebastian's life. And even if I wasn't okay with it, which I am - by the way, I love him to death and want him to be happy. So if guys are what makes him happy then I have no right to say anything about it. He doesn't judge me for who I date, so I can't judge him."

"Well of course he wouldn't judge you, not for me at least," Mark said with a confidence that Spencer would have found charming at the beginning of the date, but now she just found annoying. "And aren't you worried about it? With living in the same apartment as him?"

"Worried about it?" Spencer asked, raising her eyebrows, "Catching it? Being gay isn't a disease? I can't just catch it from him. And even if I could, that might be better. I could date girls instead of jerks like you."

Mark seemed to realize that he had touched on a very sensitive subject and in the interest of saving the date he quickly changed the subject, "So, um," he started, trying to think of a safer topic to talk about, "what's your blood type?"

Sebastian and Mike glanced up from the game when Spencer walked into the apartment a half hour later carrying her high heels in one of her hands. "You're home early," Sebastian pointed out before he glanced back at the television. "What happened to the walk through Central Park? Did he try to rape you? Did you use your pepper spray?"

Spencer shook her head, she wasn't going to tell Sebastian what Mark had said about him. Sebastian liked to act as though he was tough and could handle anything people threw at him, but Spencer knew that words hurt him sometimes. Still, she had to give them some reason for the early end to her date. She sighed and dropped onto the couch between her two boys and rested her head on Sebastian's shoulder. "He wasn't Noah," she said softly. She knew that this one sentence would explain everything to the boys. She had been trying to date since they moved to New York, she really had. But none of the boys stuck around for too long, Spencer wouldn't let them because she was constantly comparing them to the boy she had pushed away. Sebastian glanced over the girl's head with a concerned look at Mike. They were starting to worry about her.

"What happened, honey?" Mike asked, his voice soft.

"There was an awkward lull in the conversation," Spencer explained. "And he asked me what my blood type was."

"Oh heavens no!" Sebastian joked. "That's more of a third date question than a first date one! How dare he get so personal so soon!"

"Oh shut up," Spencer said, shoving a pillow at Sebastian's face. "It was just weird and awkward. I didn't like it." She was about to continue when her cell phone rang. "Hold on," she said when she glanced at who was calling. "It's Rachel."

"This ought to be interesting," Sebastian grinned when Spencer answered the phone.

"Hey Rach, what's up?" Spencer asked, but she barely had time to get that out before Rachel interrupted her.

"_I'm engaged!_" the pint-sized drama queen yelled into the phone. "_For real this time!_"

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Quick note: for those of you who were wondering One if by Land, Two if by Sea is a real restaurant and a really good one. If you're ever in the New York area I suggest you give it a try. Also the blood type question actually happened to me before. It was really awkward.  
>Anyway, thank you for pausing and taking the time to read this chapter. I hope that you enjoyed it.<br>I should be back here soon with the next chapter.  
>We're getting very close to the end now. I'm excited.<br>Anyway, please take the time to review, I love hearing what you guys think!  
>Until next time, happy reading!<br>Hugs and kisses,  
>Chloe Jane.<p> 


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: Oh the things I would do if I owned Glee ... unfortunately I don't. I just play with it sometimes.

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><p>Rachel Berry dove headfirst into making plans for her wedding, she and Finn had decided on a date the night they got engaged, they would be getting married in June which gave them just eight months to plan the wedding. And because Kurt, Blaine, and Spencer were Rachel's only <em>"girlfriends"<em> in the city they were thrown headfirst into the plans as well. Blaine was in charge of helping Rachel find a location for the wedding and the reception. Rachel was very specific about the location. It couldn't be a church because she was Jewish and it needed to be a place where her gay guests would feel welcome. She refused to be married in a place that frowned upon her dads' lifestyle or that of her best friend. But she refused to get married at a court house either. She wanted a real wedding, with a real kind of priest. Blaine had his work cut out for him.

Kurt was helping Rachel pick a color scheme as well as decorations, invitations, flowers, food, table settings, and all the other small things that had to do with a wedding. He also was in charge of helping Finn pick out suits for himself as well as his groomsmen. Although, Spencer couldn't help and laugh at that, Finn and Kurt had the suits picked out before he had even narrowed down who his groomsmen were. She wasn't jealous of Kurt's job, his apartment was filled with notes, phone numbers, and wedding magazines for the entire eight months. She had no idea how he managed to concentrate on his own life and real job when he was so busy helping Rachel with her wedding.

Spencer was given the easiest job, though Rachel claimed that it was the most important. She was charged with helping Rachel pick out a wedding dress, the bridesmaids' dresses and picking out who would be bridesmaids and how to ask them. Rachel was determined to have a glee club wedding like she had originally planned in high school the first time she and Finn were engaged. So picking out the bridesmaids was fairly simple: Spencer, Santana, Mercedes, Britney, Quinn, and Tina. The figuring out how to ask them was a bit harder until Spencer was struck by a moment of genius one night in November.

She and Rachel had been sitting in the middle of Rachel and Finn's apartment discussing the boring possibility of simply calling up all the girls when Finn walked into the room humming a song rather loudly. "What are you humming, Finn?" Spencer asked, looking up from the bridal magazine she and Rachel had been flipping through as well.

Finn shrugged, "My headband," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. When the two girls shot him looks that clearly said they had no idea what he was talking about he sighed. "Remember junior year, when we wrote original songs for Glee club? Rachel wrote this song called _My Headband_, it's been stuck in my head all day today." Rachel blushed, silently showing that she remembered the song, but Spencer was still confused. "You know," Finn said with another shrug. "My headband. You're my headband, Wrapped right around my melon, You're a product like Magellan."

Spencer stared at Finn for almost a full minute before she burst out laughing. "Oh my god!" she managed to gasp out. "How do I not remember this?"

"Not sure," Finn said, shaking his head, "Britney always swore that this was her favorite song ever. She used to make Rachel sing it to her over the phone when Rachel left for NYADA."

Spencer laughed again, but the laughter quickly died on her lips as she turned to look at Rachel. "And everyone in the club knows this song?" she asked. Finn and Rachel nodded, they might not know the lyrics, but they would remember the song if Rachel sang it to them. Spencer nodded and turned back to Rachel. "You don't wear headbands anymore, really do you?" Rachel shook her head. "But you still have them?" Spencer continued. "I'm sure you do," she added, answering her own question. "Pretty sure I helped you pack them in a box in your closet last year."

"Yeah," Rachel said with a nod. "But why?"

"Finn," Spencer said, turning to the groom to be. "I need your video camera. Rachel go get dressed up all nice, put on a headband. You're going to do a performance tonight." Rachel looked confused, but she did as Spencer asked.

A few weeks later each of the girls that Rachel wanted to be a bridesmaid received a package in the mail. It was a square box with one of Rachel Berry's old headbands in it and a dvd. When they played the dvd it was a video of Rachel singing _My Headband_ - at the end of the song she talked to the girls. "We've been friends since high school and it would mean so much to me if you'd head down the aisle with me." Rachel paused there, grinning at the camera. "Get it? _Head down_? Because of the headband."

All the girls said yes and loved the dvds. But no one appreciated it more than Britney who listened to the song on a daily basis.

-.-.-.-.-

A month later Rachel surprised Spencer by calling her one night and asking her to meet for lunch the next day. It didn't surprise Spencer that the girl wanted to meet for lunch, they met up at least once a week, but it was a surprise that Rachel called ahead of time. Usually if Rachel wanted to meet up for lunch she would text Spencer a few hours before lunch time and vice versa. Neither of them ever called ahead of time to schedule a lunch meeting. Spencer figured that it must have been something important. Maybe Rachel had gotten a lead role in a production, that would certainly warrant a special lunch. Sebastian told her that the lunch was just to go over more wedding plans and Spencer flinched, she honestly couldn't handle any more wedding plans. She had heard too many already.

But when she met Rachel the next afternoon at their favorite thai restaurant Spencer is sure from the large grin on the girl's face that they are indeed meeting to go over more wedding plans. She plastered a huge grin on her own face to match her friend's and walked over to the table. Rachel jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Spencer in a tight hug before she sat down too. Spencer's grin softened, she didn't care that they were going to spend the afternoon talking about wedding plans. She loved seeing Rachel so happy and she would do anything she could to keep her that way. "We've hit the six month mark," she said with a grin. "How excited are you?"

Rachel smiled and ordered two waters from the waiter before answering Spencer's question. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about," she admitted, as she reached across the table and grabbed Spencer's hand so that she could give it a brief squeeze. "I know that you're really sick of hearing wedding talk, but can you bear with me for one more thing?" she asked. Spencer smiled, there would never be one last thing with Rachel until this wedding was done, but she nodded to silently answer her friend's question. Rachel smiled and reached into her bag and pulled out a white card. She handed it to Spencer.

Spencer stared at the card with raised eyebrows, unsure of what she was supposed to do with. There was no writing on the front, it looked like a plain sheet of paper. Rachel laughed and gestured to the card, telling Spencer to open it because there was more to it. Spencer shook her head but opened the card slowly as if she was afraid that something would jump out and bite her. She didn't need to worry about that. There were no spiders on the inside of the card, just a poem written in Rachel's pretty handwriting.

_We've been through so much,  
>As these years have flown by.<br>And you've been there for me,  
>By my side.<br>It's a blast all this planning,  
>The dresses! The hair!<br>Though not nearly as fun,  
>If you were not there.<br>So get ready for questions,  
>For stress and for tears,<br>Which will soon become memories,  
>We'll laugh at for years.<br>It would mean oh-so much,  
>It would fill me with pride,<br>If you'll stand next to me,  
>The "maid" to my "bride"!<em>

_Will you be my maid of honor?_

Spencer cursed quietly to herself as she felt tears spring to her eyes as she read the poem. She remained silent after she had finished, she knew the answer to Rachel's question. Of course she would be her maid of honor if that's what the girl really wanted. She was just having trouble coming to terms with her emotions at the moment. There had been a time not long ago when Spencer had been convinced that she was going to die, that she was never going to get the chance to see Rachel or any of her other friends get married. But here she was, healthy and not only was she going to watch Rachel get married, but she was going to get the chance to be her maid of honor. Spencer felt happier at this moment than she had in a while and was struggling to find a way to explain this to Rachel.

But the small brunette took Spencer's silence as a yes. She had tears in her eyes as well as she watched her friend reread the poem. Spencer was trying so hard to find a way to explain feelings that Rachel completely understood. "There is," she said softly, almost hesitantly, "one favor that you'll have to do if you say yes. Can you help me with something?"

Spencer laughed and reached up to wipe some tears from her eyes. She was about to make a joke about how she had helped Rachel with so much already that this special favor she was about to ask for couldn't make a difference. But there was something about Rachel's face that made the joke die on her lips. Rachel looked absolutely serious and almost frightened about what she was going to ask Spencer. "Fuck," Spencer whispered quietly. "You're going to call off the wedding?" she asked, jumping to a completely irrational place. "You want me to help you tell Finn that you don't want to marry him? That's going to be hard, but I guess I could if you really needed me to, though I'd rather not be stuck in the middle. I love you both so much. What is it? Why are you going to break things off?"

"I never said anything about calling it off," Rachel said with a slight smile. Spencer had just voiced an irrational fear, but it had been enough to wipe the too serious look off of Rachel's face and replace it with a smile instead. "Why would I ask you to be my maid of honor at a wedding I wanted to cancel?" Rachel asked, her tone was teasing and playful. Spencer shook her head, unsure of how to answer that question and instead asked Rachel what her big favor was. Rachel sighed, her face going serious again. "I talked to Finn and my dads about this and I've decided. I want to ask Shelby to come to my wedding. She is my mother after all and I want her to be there. But I can't ask her alone. I can't do it. I want you to help me ask her. Will you help me?"

"Of course," Spencer said with a nod. "Whatever you want Rach. Though, wouldn't it be easier to just send her an invitation? Doesn't she live in California or something?"

"No," Rachel said, shaking her head. "She and Beth and her new husband moved to the suburbs in Connecticut. They've been there for a year. She and I write each other sometimes and I've met up with her and Beth in the city sometimes for lunch or to go shopping, but I haven't told her about the wedding. And I can't just send her an invitation. If I do that she might not come. She might think that I'm sending her the invitation because I feel like I have to, not because I want her to come. She'll think it's an obligation. And it's not. I want her there. And I want her to know that so I have to do it in person. But I don't want to go alone. And Finn doesn't know that I've met up with her so I can't bring him."

"But he knows that you want to invite her," Spencer pointed out. "I don't know what's with all the secrecy."

"He said I could invite her, but I think he's hoping she won't come," Rachel explained. "He doesn't know that we've been writing each other or that we've seen each other. He wants me to be happy so he said I could invite her, but he doesn't really like Shelby. He says that she really messed me up during high school and he doesn't want to see her mess me up again. But he doesn't realize that I'm safe from that now. I'm not trying to make her my mom, I don't want her to help out with the wedding or to help me pick out my dress or anything. But I want her there. I think we're almost friends, and I want her to be there, to see that I'm okay. Okay with what happened and how my life's going. And I want to ask her if Beth can be my flower girl."

"Woah!" Spencer exploded. "You want Beth to be your flower girl? Won't that be a little weird. I mean, you hardly know the girl. What is going on in your head, Rachel Berry?"

"Well I need a flower girl," Rachel said with a shrug. "And Beth is the only little girl I know. She's almost eight years old and she's me most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Besides, we're basically sisters. You know, my birth mom adopted her from some of my best friends. And both Quinn and Puck will be at the wedding so they'll get to see her and spend some time with her. I think it'll be great."

"Speaking of," Spencer said slowly. "Have you asked Quinn about this? Have you made sure that she's okay with not only Shelby but Beth being at your wedding? Have you asked her if she's okay with Beth being the flower girl?"

Rachel nodded, "I asked her," she said. "Quinn said it was fine as long as no one brought up that she was Beth's real mother. Beth knows that she was adopted, but after Shelby moved to California Quinn kind of dropped out of her life. She didn't want to see Beth or to write to her so Beth doesn't know that Quinn's her mother. Quinn said that she'd like to keep it that way, but that she would be fine with Beth being there."

"And Puck?" Spencer asked softly, she swallowed a lump in her throat after she said the name. After all this time, it was still hard for her to bring up the boy. "Is he okay with it?"

"He's really excited about it," Rachel said with a nod. "He's Finn's best man," that was a shock to Spencer. She had assumed that Kurt was going to be Finn's best man since they were brothers. But it made sense, Puck and Finn had been best friends since elementary school. She took a deep steadying breath so that Rachel wouldn't notice the effect the news had on her. But Rachel was too busy talking to notice, "he can't wait to dance with her, he told me the other night that the photographer needed to make sure to get pictures of them together, he hasn't seen her in a few years, they skype and stuff. But he says it's not the same. He wants to hug her," Rachel stopped talking for a moment, her brown eyes scanning over Spencer's face. "Oh Spence," she said sadly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think. Are you okay with him being Finn's best man? Do you want me to tell Finn to switch it to Kurt?"

Spencer briefly considered saying yes to that option, but she shook her head. She'd never ask Finn to do that. "No," she said, "I'm fine. It was just a surprise. But I'm fine. It's fine."

Rachel nodded, her concerned eyes still studying Spencer's face. "Then will you do it?" she asked. "Will you go ask Shelby with me?"

Spencer nodded, "Anything for my bride," she said, forcing a smile on her lips. "Even walking down the aisle with my ex boyfriend. Does he know that I'm the maid of honor?"

-.-.-.-.-

Noah Puckerman was late. Normally he didn't mind being late for things, but this was different. It was one thing to be late for a class or a date or a party. It was another thing to be late for his best friend's rehearsal dinner. Puck had missed out on a lot of the pre-wedding things and he had been determined not to miss the rehearsal dinner. He had graduated in May and with the onslaught of final papers, exams, job interviews, and graduation plans he hadn't been able to make it to Lima, let alone New York to see his friends in the past year. Rachel and Finn had been really cool about that, they had flown out to Texas to see his graduation and to bring his suit for the wedding so that he could get it fitted and hemmed when it worked for him. They had taken him out for a celebratory dinner when he had told them that he had gotten a job with an architecture firm in New York City, and they had made a point not to talk to him about Spencer or what she was doing with her life. And Puck made a point not to ask, he had blocked her on facebook shortly after she moved to New York and he could honestly say that he hoped that she was happy. That didn't mean that he wanted to see it or talk about it though.

His original plan was to get an early morning flight to New York so that he and his current girlfriend, Becky, would be in the city in time for the early afternoon rehearsal and the dinner afterward before he and the rest of the men set out for Finn's bachelor party. But Becky had packed too slow and they missed their flight. There would be another one in the afternoon, they'd get there in time for the bachelor party, but they would miss the rehearsal dinner. Puck felt bad for missing it, but if he were honest he would have to admit that he was glad that he would have time before he saw Spencer again, he wasn't ready to see her just yet. Finn had been alright with Puck missing the rehearsal. He had simply told his friend that Kurt would explain to him what he was supposed to do the morning of the wedding and that Puck better get to New York in time for the bachelor party. "I can't do that without my best guy friend," he said. "Without you it'll be me, Mike, Artie, and Sam with just as many gay guys. We need to up the ratio."

"I thought Kurt and Blaine were our only gays," Puck had said, his tone fond - neither he nor Finn really minded that the boys were gay anymore, they were just guys now. But they still joked about it sometimes.

"There's one from work," Finn had explained. "He's cool, you'll like him. And of course, Sebastian."

"Of course," Puck had said. That one was one he wasn't used to yet.

"Yup," Finn had said with a nod. "Hey! Rachel says hi, because she won't see you when you get in tonight. The girls are staying at Sebastian, Mike, and Spencer's. And we're all staying here at our apartment. She also says that if your girl doesn't have a place to stay tonight she can't hang out with the girls. Says it'll be awkward."

Puck laughed at Rachel's lack of tact. "Don't worry," he said into the phone. "Tell the bride that Becky's sorority sister lives in New York and Beck wants to meet up with her tonight so that's where she'll be. No reason for things to be awkward." Not that he really knew why it would matter if Becky hung out with the girls. He was sure that Spencer had moved on by now.

-.-.-.-.-

"You've got a nice place," Puck said with an approving nod as he looked around the living room. Rachel had been doing pretty well on Broadway and she had even been hired as an adjunct instructor at NYADA. Finn was teaching music at the same school as Mike and Rachel and they were able to rent a very nice three bedroom apartment not far from Central Park.

"Yeah," Finn said with a nod. "Rachel says it'll do until we start to have kids. Then she says we'll have to buy a house out in the suburbs of Connecticut or New Jersey. The whole white picket fence and a lawn are pretty important to her."

Puck didn't even bother nodding to pretend that he was listening anymore. He had been circling the living room looking at the photographs when he and Finn talked. As Finn had been talking Puck had come upon a collection of pictures with Spencer in them. There was a picture of Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Spencer, and Finn from behind at some pool. They were wearing normal clothes and holding hands as they ran and jumped into the pool. One of Finn, Rachel, and Spencer at the beach. Rachel and Spencer had buried Finn in the sand and made him into a mermaid like on Rachel's favorite Friends episode. There were two pictures of Spencer and Finn reading on the window seat in Finn's living room. The first one they were both reading, but only Spencer looked interested in what she was reading, Finn just looked bored. In the second picture Finn had abandoned his book and was leaning over Spencer's legs so that he could try to read her book. Puck reached out and picked that picture up, Finn grinned and walked over to where Puck was standing. "That's one of Rach's favorite pictures," he said with a nod, "which is odd considering she's not in it. But she says it matches our personalities perfectly."

"Yeah," Puck said with a nod, he heard the door to the apartment open and Mike and Sebastian arrive, but he didn't look away from the picture. "I can see that," he added, smiling at how Spencer was none too gently trying to push Finn away from her in the picture. "It really does."

It was a quiet night as far as bachelor parties went. That was mostly due to the fact that the wedding was the next day, but also because Spencer sent Sebastian a text reminding him that Rachel had put her foot down and that there were to be no strippers. The guys went to a bar for a while before they headed back to Finn's apartment for video games and cheaper beer.

Rachel's bachelorette night was just as quiet, the girls didn't leave the apartment at all. They gave each other facials, sipped champagne, did each other's nails. And dressed up in whatever wacky clothes they could find in Spencer's closet so that they could sing karaoke to each other. They were big fans of any songs that they had sung in Glee. After a particularly loud version of _It's All Coming Back to Me Now _that had Spencer's down stairs neighbor banging on their ceiling with a broom, Rachel threw herself down onto Spencer's mattress that had been moved into the living room for the party. "I'm going to play that tomorrow," she said. "At the reception. For you and Noah. And you two are going to dance."

Spencer shook her head, she was sure that this was just the drunken rambling of Rachel, but she didn't want to risk it. "That's not going to happen Berry," she said, a warning tone to her voice.

"But it's obvious that the two of you still love each other," Britney interrupted. "You're both just too afraid to admit to it." Spencer turned to look at her blonde friend, an unwanted hopeful look on her face. She didn't want to admit that she hoped that her friend was right.

Quinn nodded, "Trust me, Spence," she said softly. "I was the expert on all things Noah Puckerman in high school. And he never looked at me or any of his other girls the way he looked at you. He loved you and a love like that doesn't just go away because you told him to move to Texas." Spencer mentioned that she and Noah hadn't talked since his phone call after her surgery and that he never brought her up when he was talking to their friends. "You don't really bring him up either," Quinn pointed out. Rachel nodded in agreement as she poured more champagne for all the girls. Quinn continued, "But if you listen closely to the two of you it's obvious. You don't mention each other, but you're constantly finding ways to steer the conversation to each other. The truth is: you hurt him. And he hurt you. And now you're both just too afraid of getting hurt again to put yourselves out there for each other. But that's what you need to do to be happy."

"You think?" Spencer asked, almost hopefully.

"Just wait till tomorrow, baby girl," Santana said. "You'll see."

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>First of all, let me apologize for any pain this story has caused any of you.  
>I promise that I am very close to a happy ending.<br>There was no way that Spencer and Puck weren't going to get their happy ending.  
>So don't worry about that, I just have to tie up some loose ends now.<br>Thank you for stopping by and reading this chapter. And I hope you enjoyed it!  
>Please tae a moment to review! I love hearing from you.<br>Until next time, happy reading!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the recognizable characters or songs in this chapter. I do, however, own Spencer Anderson which is pretty cool.

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><p>The next morning came too early in Spencer's opinion. The wedding wasn't until two that afternoon, but by nine am they were on their way to the Hamptons so that they could get their makeup and hair done, get into their dresses, and take pictures of the bride and bridesmaids and the groom and his groomsmen before the wedding. Spencer couldn't have been happier for her friends, but every once in a while she'd stop thinking about how happy she was for Finn and Rachel and start thinking about how much she wanted to talk to Noah. Sebastian had told her that he got into to the city last night just in time to go out with the guys, but she hadn't seen him yet and she couldn't wait. It took almost three hours and quite a few mimosas to get Rachel, her bridesmaids, and her little flower girl Beth ready for the wedding. Spencer's hair and make-up was done, but she hadn't put on her dress yet when Quinn approached her. "Rachel has a message for Finn," the blonde said softly as she handed Spencer a piece of paper. "She says it's your job as MoH to deliver it. Might be a nice chance to see Puckerman," she winked. The blonde glanced around the room for a moment before turning back to Spencer, "Could you also look for our flower girl when you're out there? She seems to have run away."<p>

Spencer sent her friend a concerned look, "Are you sure you wouldn't want to go get her Quinn?" she asked.

Quinn thought about it for a moment, biting her lip as she did before she shook her head. "It's too hard," she said softly. "You do it."

Spencer nodded and reached out to gently clasp her friend's hand for a second before she turned to leave the room and deliver the message. Before she went to where the men were getting ready she figured that she'd look out for Beth on the beach. Rachel's dads and Shelby weren't allowed in the room when she was getting ready so they had gone out onto the beach where the wedding would take place and that seemed like a good place to start looking for the little girl.

She wasn't there, and after talking to the Berry's for a moment and telling them how beautiful their daughter looked Spencer headed back to the country club where the men were getting ready. She stopped just outside the door, balancing on first one foot and then the other as she tried to work up the nerve to knock on the door. She had finally raised her hand to knock when the door swung open and she came face to face with a grinning Noah Puckerman. "Oh!" she gasped in surprise, "hi," she added a little more subdued, a little sadder when she saw the smile drop from Noah's face, he wasn't happy to see her. She heard a high pitched giggle from behind Noah and forced a grin onto her face as Beth peaked out from over his shoulder and waved at her.

"Does this little monkey belong to you?" Noah asked, smiling gently at the girl clinging to his back.

"Actually she belongs to you," Spencer said with a composed nod, "but I'd be glad to trade her for a message for the groom from the bride," she added as she held up Rachel's note.

Puck laughed as he took the note and turned around so that he could dump the small girl into Spencer's arms. "Gotta say," he said as Spencer put the girl down onto the ground and held her hand out to the girl so that they could walk back to where the women were getting ready. "I think you're getting the bad end of the deal, this girl is trouble."

"Are you talking about Beth or me?" Spencer asked before she could stop herself. She sighed when she caught Noah's visible flinch. "I'm sorry," she said with a soft nod before she turned around and began to lead Beth back toward where Rachel and the other girls were waiting. She was sure that that was going to be the last time she talked to Noah that day, she had made the mistake of pointing out to him that she had broken his heart. Now he wasn't going to want to talk to her.

But they hadn't walked more than three steps when Noah called out to her. "Spence," he called out. Spencer stopped and turned around to face him. He nodded at her, staying silent for a moment before he said, "Healthy looks good on you." She didn't say anything, she was sure that the smile spreading across her face said everything she needed to say. But she did nod to him and send a mock curtsy his way before she turned and continued to walk back to the girls' room. Puck stood in the doorway, watching after them; the two girls that had broken his heart - his daughter who he only saw on occasion and the girl that he could never seem to escape. As they walked away he raised his hands in front of his face, holding his thumb and forefingers together in a rectangle, like a camera frame so that he could commit the image to memory.

"You better be careful," Mike said with a grin as he walked over to his friend and clapped the man on the shoulder. "You're going to fall in love with her all over again."

"Never stopped," Puck said with a shrug before he turned back into the room and shut the door behind him.

-.-.-.-.-

The wedding was great, perfect even. Spencer couldn't help but smile when she realized that all Kurt's, Blaine's, Rachel's, and her hard work over the last eight months had paid off. There wasn't a single thing wrong with the wedding. Rachel looked gorgeous, Finn looked handsome, the bridesmaids were beautiful, Beth was adorable, the weather was great, everyone looked as though they were enjoying themselves. And the pictures were only slightly awkward because the photographer kept putting Puck and Spencer together because they were the maid of honor and the best man. They posed how the photographer told them to, they grinned because they were happy for their friends, but they didn't say a single thing to each other the entire time.

Once the pictures were done they moved into the country club for the reception and before she knew it Spencer was being introduced to some blonde girl that she had never seen before. "This is Becky," Santana had said, her eyes looking sorry as she said this. "She's Puck's plus one."

"That's so cute that you guys call him Puck!" Becky had cooed as she held her hand out to Spencer so that they could shake hands.

"Yeah?" Spencer asked, swallowing a lump in her throat as she shook the blonde's hand. "And why's that? What do you call him?"

"Noah, of course," Becky has said. "That's what everyone called him at school."

Spencer's breath caught in her throat at that. She hadn't been expecting that. Back in high school and even now among the Glee club kids she and Rachel had been the only ones that called him _Noah_. It had been their special thing. But now apparently _everyone_ called him that. She forced herself to nod as she pulled her hand out of Becky's. "That's nice," she said with another nod as she turned her head to look at Beth over her shoulder. The little girl was curled under Puck's arm and hugging him. "If you would excuse me I'm going to go see if the flower girl will dance with me," she said, forcing a smile onto her face before she turned away from Becky. Santana tried to follow her, but Spencer shook her head and waved the Latina away, "I'm fine, Tana," she said with another forced smile. "Really."

She walked over to Puck and Beth and her smile became more real as she grinned at the girl. They had bonded over the last few months of dress fittings and shopping adventures and she could honestly say that she loved the small girl. She held her arms open for the girl and cheered when Beth ran over to her. "I'm stealing your girl, Puck," she said, basically spitting out the name. _Noah_ wasn't a special thing anymore and she was going to force herself to stop saying it. Puck turned to look at her and raised his eyebrows in confusion, Spencer wondered if it was because he was wondering why she and Beth were so close or if it was because she had just called him _Puck_. She nodded over to Becky who was standing alone on the edge of the dance floor, looking uncomfortable. "You might want to go save your girlfriend," she said. "She doesn't know anyone here. It's bad form to leave her alone." And then before he could say anything to her, she bent at her waist so that her face was level with Beth's. "I love this song," she said, nodding toward the DJ and the dance floor. "What do you say, can I get a dance with the flower girl before dinner?"

Beth nodded and grabbed Spencer's hand and led her onto the mostly empty dance floor. The reception hadn't really started yet; Finn and Rachel were still taking pictures and it was really only kids and Spencer on the dance floor. She forced herself to stop thinking about Puck as she danced with the small girl. She had to keep reminding herself that she had no right to be upset about his moving on. She had wanted this, pushed him away, asked for this. She couldn't be made about that now just because she hadn't managed that yet. She should be happy for him.

At the end of the song the DJ spoke into the microphone, asking everyone to make their way to their seats and for the bridal party to make their way to the hallway outside the ball room. Spencer forced a look of unconcern onto her face as she paired off with Puck so that they could be introduced and walk back into the ballroom. First went Tina and Mike. And then Britney and Artie, Mercedes and Sam, Santana and Blaine, Quinn and Kurt. And then it was their turn. "The Maid of Honor and Best Man Spencer Anderson and Noah Puckerman!" The DJ yelled as the two of them walked through the door. The Glee club cheered loudly at seeing their friends together again and Spencer managed a small smile as they made their way toward the front table. "And introducing for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson!" the DJ added as Rachel and Finn walked into the ballroom.

Spencer laughed as Finn dipped Rachel and kissed her and the small bride fist pumped the air with her bouquet when Finn finally helped her stand up straight again. "Finally!" she cheered with the rest of the Glee club as the newlywed couple made their way toward the front table. Rachel reached out and grabbed Spencer's hand as they passed and dragged her to her seat next to the bride for dinner. The dinner was good and Spencer was glad that she was separated from Puck by the bride and the groom and that she had Quinn on her other side to talk to. After dinner it was time for speeches. As the best man Puck went first, his speech was short, simple, and way too embarrassing for Finn. And then it was Spencer's turn. She smiled when Puck handed her the microphone and she stood up, reaching out for Rachel's hand to hold during the speech.

"Congratulations you guys!" she started with a smile and tears in her eyes as she looked at two of her best friends. "What you guys have is really special," she glanced at the audience, "I mean they've only been together since sophomore year of high school. And with all the drama that has gone on in their relationship this couple shouldn't have made it. But," she added, turning back to the newlyweds. "Some how you guys have made it. I'm so happy for you and I can only hope that I get to take part in the next nine years of your lives together." She let go of Rachel's hand and raised her glass of champagne in the air and turned back to the audience, waiting for them to all raise their glasses too, "Here's to love and laughter, and happily ever after as Rachel and Finn start their new life. Let's all toast the new husband and wife!" Everyone laughed and cheered as they drank to Rachel and Finn. Once they had quieted down again Spencer turned back to the bride and groom. "Now," she said, biting her lip playfully. "I didn't get you guys a gift. I figured that my presence here would be enough," everyone laughed at that. "But Quinn told me that didn't count so I thought, maybe if you'd like I could give you a song for your first dance?"

Finn nodded happily and Rachel jumped up excitedly to throw her arms around Spencer's shoulders. "If I couldn't sing our first dance song I'd want you to do it," she whispered into Spencer's ear as her friend quickly ran through all the songs she was willing to sing in her head before settling on one. Her choice was an obvious one to her when she saw the piano in the corner of the room. She hugged each of the newlyweds before she walked over to the baby grand piano and began to play the opening notes to the song as she waited for Finn and Rachel to make their way onto the dance floor.

Puck recognized the song the second Spencer started to play it. He had always kind of thought of this song as _their_ song and had never managed to get rid of the dvd of her singing it. As she started the first verse, "Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you," he felt a flash of pain in his chest and he couldn't help the low growl that rose in his throat. Kurt sent him a concerned look, his eyes quickly darting between the girl at the piano and the groomsmen next to him. Puck didn't need to say anything, Kurt seemed to understand right away what was going on in his friend's head because without saying anything the smaller man reached out and patted Puck's hand briefly. He knew that he couldn't be mad, he knew that he had no right to be, Spencer didn't know that he had the dvd of her singing the song, she had no idea how much pain she was causing him. But that didn't stop him from being angry, angry that she had chased him away. He wouldn't be feeling these feelings if she had just let him stay with her. He wanted to leave, to get out of the room while she was singing and try to calm down, but he knew that he couldn't. He had best man duties to do, and Rachel would kill him.

So instead he turned his face to the newlyweds and tried to focus on them, happily dancing together and so in love and not on the girl at the piano. The girl who had just stabbed him in the chest and was slowly turning the knife to open the wound even further. He shook his head, wondering to himself when he had become so dramatic and girly. All the same he couldn't help being happy when the song was done and Spencer moved away from the piano.

After the first dance Rachel and each of her dads had a father-daughter dance. Finn and his mom had their mother-son dance. Burt and Finn even danced for a bit once the dance floor was opened up to other couples. When the dance floor opened up Puck looked around for Spencer, but he couldn't find her anywhere in the ballroom. He was about to look for her when Becky walked up to him and pulled him onto the dance floor, he thought about telling her that he needed to go look for Spencer, but he realized how wrong it would be to abandon his current girlfriend to go look for his ex girlfriend. He chose instead to dance with Becky, but he couldn't stop the feeling of relief when ten minutes later Sebastian led Spencer back into the ballroom.

Puck hadn't been the only one to notice that Spencer had gone missing. And unlike Puck Sebastian didn't have a girlfriend that he needed to dance with so he managed to go out to find the girl. It wasn't that hard to find her, he heard her sobbing as he passed the women's restroom. He didn't bother knocking before he walked in, it wasn't as if there was going to be anything that would remotely turn him on in that bathroom. "Well if this isn't a cliche of every wedding movie I've ever seen," he said, his tone teasing as he caught sight of Spencer and Mercedes sitting on the couch in the restroom. Mercedes had her arms wrapped around Spencer as the smaller girl cried into her friend's shoulder. "You can go back to the party," he said kindly to Mercedes, "I've got it from here."

Mercedes looked relieved, apparently Spencer had wanted Sebastian, but Mercedes couldn't force herself to leave her crying friend to get him. She thanked him as she headed back toward the ballroom and Sebastian sat down on the couch next to Spencer and let her curl into his suit and cry on his chest. "Why did you choose that song, Voldemort?" he asked her softly, he knew what the song meant to her, hell he had been there the first time she had dedicated it to Puckerman. "Of all the songs you could have picked, why that one?"

"Because it's a great song," Spencer said softly. "And because it really fits Rachel and Finn. And because I still love him, Bas. I still love him."

"Really?" Sebastian asked playfully, shooting a glare at a woman who had just walked into the bathroom and gasped at the sight of him in there. He waited until she had left before he turned back to Spencer. "I wouldn't have guessed. It's not like you haven't been comparing every boy you meet to him ever since you pushed him out of your life. Is that really a surprise to you?" Spencer shook her head silently, her tears were slowing down, she had just needed to talk about her feelings to someone who would understand. "Why don't you tell him?" Sebastian asked.

"Because he brought a date," Spencer said, shaking her head ruefully. "His girlfriend. And she's gorgeous. He's moved on and I'm still stuck."

Sebastian sighed and pulled Spencer closer to him in a tight hug. "Well then, babe. I've heard acceptance is the first step on the road to recovery. You've admitted that you're stuck, that's half way to getting over him. It might even make the rest of the night easier for you. You were holding out hope that he would come alone and you guys would pick up where you left off weren't you?" He didn't need Spencer's silent nod for an answer, he already knew it. "Well now that you know that won't happen you can get over it and enjoy the rest of the evening. Right?" Spencer nodded again and silently stood up from the couch, she held out her hand to Sebastian and smiled when he grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We'll stick together tonight, huh?" Sebastian asked with a smile.

-.-.-.-.-

"Okay girls!" Rachel yelled as she stood up on the chair in the middle of the dance floor, "Are you ready to catch the bouquet?"

Spencer flinched as all the unmarried women in the room screamed and squealed loudly as the bunched up in front of the bride. Spencer had been hoping to find a place in the back of the group, the last thing she wanted to do was catch the bouquet, but Rachel had ordered that all her Glee club girls be in the front. Somehow Spencer had been shuffled into the middle of the group with Tina on one side and Kurt on the other. "I didn't know you were a Glee club girl," she had said to Kurt with a grin.

"Well I'm definitely not going to be trying to catch the garter," Kurt said, shaking his head with a fond smile on his face. "Besides, you never saw me in my Lady Gaga outfit. I am most definitely one of the Glee girls."

"One," Rachel yelled, turning around on the chair so that her back was facing the group of women. "Two," she brought her hands up over her head and lowered them again so that she was ready to throw the flowers. "Three!" She yelled as she brought the flowers over her head again and let them go, sending the bright colored bouquet flying through the air. Right toward Spencer. She tried to step out of the way, but Tina and Kurt pushed her back into place and to keep the flowers from hitting her in the face Spencer reached out and caught the bright pink and orange bouquet. The smile on Rachel's face when she turned and saw that Spencer had caught the bouquet was enough to tell her that the small brunette had planned this the entire time.

Next was the garter. Rachel blushed and giggled like a school girl as Finn stuck his head under her skirt and pulled the garter down her leg with his teeth. Before he threw the garter he slid it over a football with the words _You're next!_ written on it in sharpie. He shrugged with a smile on his face when Rachel brought it up. "No guy will drop the football," he said with a chuckle as he stood up to throw it. Rachel stood on the chair behind him so that she could cover his eyes, but just like the bouquet it was thrown with scary accuracy right into Puck's hands. Spencer blushed and tried to hand off the bouquet to one of the other women, but Rachel wouldn't let her. The bride had already climbed off her chair and rushed toward Spencer so that she could drag her back to the chair so Puck could put the garter on her.

Spencer's blush deepened as everyone in the crowd that knew their history started to cheer and Puck approached her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered quietly, hiding her face behind her hands as Puck knelt down on the ground in front of her and gently reached out for her leg. After so many years his hand felt good on her leg and Spencer was so thankful that she had shaved that morning. His calluses were the same, and even though she knew exactly what it would feel like to have him touch her it was still a surprise when he began to slide the garter up her leg. She wanted to close her eyes, to pretend that this wasn't happening right now, but she didn't dare look away from him or the look of concentration on his face as his hands lingered on her upper thigh for just a bit longer than necessary.

"Now you dance!" Rachel cheered, successfully breaking the moment and causing Puck to remove his hands from Spencer's leg. The man looked startled for a moment, but he nodded and stood up, holding his hand out to Spencer so that he could lead her out onto the dance floor. She smiled at him as she slipped her hand into his and they moved to the empty dance floor as the song Rachel had chosen began to play.

_A drop in the ocean,  
>A change in the weather,<br>I was praying that you and me might end up together._

"Great song choice, Berry," Spencer muttered as she placed one of her hands on Puck's shoulder and the other one in his outstretched hand. Puck in turn placed his free hand on Spencer's waist and began to lead in a slightly awkward waltz.

"It's not so bad," Puck said softly. "Seems like Berry's idea of a romantic song."

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
>But I'm holding you closer than most,<br>'Cause you are my heaven._

"Yeah," Spencer said with a nod. "Just like it was the perfect idea to purposefully throw the bouquet at me and the garter at you. Totally romantic."

"The bridesmaid dresses were a good idea," Puck said quietly, changing the subject and looking out over Spencer's head at all the bridesmaids. "They look good." His eyes drifted back to Spencer and she fidgeted under his gaze. "You do too," he added with a nod. "I always liked you in light purple, brings out your eyes." Spencer blushed, wondering if Puck was aware of what he was saying to her. "I always loved your eyes," he continued.

"Thanks," she said with a nod as she initiated a spin in the dance, "I got them from my mother," she added as she came back into his arms.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend,  
>If you don't love me, pretend<br>A few more hours, then it's time to go  
>As my train rolls down the east coast<br>I wonder how you'll keep warm  
>It's too late to cry,<br>Too broken to move on._

_And I still can't let you be  
>Most nights I hardly sleep<br>Don't take what you don't need from me._

"Congratulations on graduating," Spencer said after a moment of silence. "Almost a year early, your mother must have been so proud of you. And your professors. Congratulations. Will you be staying in Austin?"

Puck nodded, he wanted to ask Spencer if she was proud of him, that's why he had worked so hard in Texas. That's why he had worked so hard at school. Because for some stupid reason he was still hoping for her approval. But then her last question caught his attention and he shook his head, "No," he said, "I got a job in New York, here actually. I interviewed with them over spring break this year. It's a good fit for me and I'll be close to Beth so that's nice. And I'll have friends in the city."

"You were in the city for spring break?" Spencer asked, surprised, she hadn't heard that before. She wondered if her friends had kept it from her on purpose. "I didn't know that."

Puck shrugged, "No one did. I was here for less than twenty-four hours. I flew in, interviewed, and flew out. Didn't even get a hotel room. I didn't tell Finn about it until graduation when I found out that I had the job. I wanted to keep it a secret until I knew it was a done deal."

Spencer nodded, "I understand," she said softly. "I did the same thing with my job and my mom. I didn't tell her until I knew I had the job and the apartment, and the roommates. I didn't want her to worry, you know?"

_It's just a drop in the ocean,  
>A change in the weather,<br>I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.<br>But I'm holding you closer than most,  
>'Cause you are my heaven.<em>

"How is your mom?" Puck asked and he lowered Spencer into a graceful dip before bringing her back up and continuing the waltz. "And Toby? How is he?" He didn't really need to ask about Toby, he got weekly updates on the boy from his sister. It seemed that Toby and Sarah were still going strong, but he was unsure if Spencer knew that.

"Mom's really good," Spencer said with a nod. "She's been really happy lately because Dad has finally gone reserve. He hasn't totally retired yet, but he's home a lot more. Which is good for her, because with me moved out and Toby in college she's been having the empty nest thing. She's gotten really obsessed with Pinterest. Like she's redoing every room in our house with ideas she got from the site. It's really pretty, but when I went home to visit them this Christmas the house didn't feel the same anymore. The city feels like home now, not Lima." Puck nodded, he knew exactly what Spencer meant. "And you know how Toby is doing," Spencer said with a pointed look at the man. "He's in love with your sister."

"Just make sure he knows that if he hurts her I will kill him."

Spencer threw her head back and laughed and Puck's breath caught in his throat. She looked gorgeous. "I'll be sure to pass the message along," she said with a grin.

_Misplaced trust and old friends  
>Never counting regrets<br>By the grace of God I do not rest at all._

_In New England as the leaves change  
>The last excuse that I'll claim,<br>I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl._

_And I still can't let you be,  
>Most nights I hardly sleep,<br>Don't take what you don't need from me._

"We've never really danced like this," Puck pointed out after a few silent moments. "I mean you taught me how to slow dance once, but that didn't count."

"There was prom," Spencer said softly. "That one dance our senior year."

"Doesn't count," Puck said, shaking his head. "You told me that you were only dancing with me because Santana had bet you twenty bucks that you wouldn't do it. That doesn't count."

"But being forced to dance by a bride and groom does?" Spencer asked, her eyebrows raised. "Can I tell you something?" she whispered quietly. Puck nodded. Spencer was quiet for a moment and Noah contemplated asking her what was on her mind, but he felt like it would break the magic. Whatever Spencer had to tell him was obviously important. She bit her lip for a moment, nervous, before she spoke. "It was a lie," she whispered. For a moment Puck allowed himself to believe that she was talking about when she had told him that she didn't love him - that that was the lie she was talking about. But she cleared it up for him really quickly. "Santana never bet me twenty bucks. I just wanted to dance with you, but I didn't want you to get a big head about it."

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore, no  
>Heaven doesn't seem far away.<br>Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore, no  
>Heaven doesn't seem far away.<em>

Puck stared at the brunette in his arms for a moment. He was so close to her, he could kiss her. He could tell her that he had never really given up on her. Even with other girlfriends he had never given up on her. But that wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to Becky. It wouldn't be fair to him to put it out there. And it wouldn't be fair to spring that on her. He was sure that she wouldn't want to hear it either. So then because words had failed him and Puck didn't know what else to say he began to sing along as the song came to a close.

"A drop in the ocean,  
>A change in the weather,<br>I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.<br>But I'm holding you closer than most,  
>'Cause you are my heaven."<p>

Spencer pulled away from him abruptly and Puck could have sworn that he saw tears in her eyes as she quickly turned away from him and walked off the dance floor before the song came to an end.

_You are my heaven._

* * *

><p>Author's note:<br>Making moves! That's what I was doing in this chapter!  
><strong>MAKING MOVES!<strong>  
>I hope you enjoyed reading it!<br>And I am really happy to announce that the next chapter I post will be the last one. Yup, ladies and gentlemen (even though there probably aren't any, it just sounded right.) We're coming to the end.  
>As always, please take a moment to review this chapter, I love hearing from you guys.<br>Until next time, happy reading!  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the recognizable characters. (Sadly ... I would love to. Playing with the Glee men would b so much fun.)

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LAST CHAPTER!

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><p>Spencer had wanted to leave the reception as soon as the dance was done, but she couldn't. She knew that the day wasn't about her or Noah, or her feelings about him. The day was about Rachel and Finn and how in love they were. And the last thing she could do was run away from that. She made a point to avoid Noah for the rest of the evening. And she managed to avoid anyone who was talking about her dance with him. Whenever one of her friends brought it up Spencer would come up with an excuse to leave the conversation. Her friends got it and soon stopped trying to talk to her about it.<p>

As happy as she was for Finn and Rachel she was happy when the reception ended and the guests said goodbye to the bride and groom as they ran past their friends on the beach as the guests waved sparklers around in the darkening evening. The newlyweds would be spending the night in a hotel and then they would be going to Greece for their honeymoon. Rachel had left her wedding dress and anything else she wanted to be taken back to her apartment along with the gifts to Spencer. Originally Spencer had disliked the maid of honor obligation of bringing all the gifts back to Rachel and Finn's apartment, but now she was glad that she had the job. It gave her something to think about besides Noah and how he would be moving to the city very soon. Technically, he was supposed to help her with the gifts, but she had walked past him with a stack of gifts and he had offered to take them from her and she had shook her head. "I'm fine on my own," she said. "You go enjoy yourself tonight. I don't mind doing this on my own. Actually, I want to." And that had been the end of it.

She had packed all of the gifts and the wedding dress and the cake into the SUV that Rachel and Finn had rented for the wedding and she drove back to the city on her own. It took her two hours to bring all the gifts up to the apartment and to package up the cake and put the dress in Rachel's closet. By the time she was done she was tired, she contemplated going back to her apartment but she decided against it.

She was afraid of two things. First she was afraid that her roommates and some of her friends might be at her apartment waiting for her to get home so that they could ask her about her feelings and force her to come to terms with the fact that she and Noah were obviously and officially over. Her other worry was that none of her roommates or friends would be at the apartment and that she would be forced to deal with her problems all on her own. That despite how tired she was she wouldn't be able to sleep, she would just lay in bed, by herself wondering if she would ever get over Noah Puckerman.

So instead of going back to her apartment where she would come face to face with one of her fears she decided that she wouldn't go home. She would go to her favorite bar and stay there until she was too drunk or too tired to think about Noah. Then, and only then, would she go home.

She didn't want to go to the bar dressed in her lilac colored bridesmaid dress so she raided Rachel's closet for something to wear. In high school there wasn't much of Rachel's that Spencer would ever be caught dead in. But thankfully when Rachel had gone to NYADA she had also picked up some style. Spencer picked out a pair of tight jeans and a slinky black top that she was pretty sure she had helped Rachel pick out last fall. She took her hair out of it's up-do and let it fall around her face in big, graceful, bouncy waves. Her brown hair had finally grown back to its usual length and Spencer was so glad about that. She borrowed a pair of Rachel's boots and quickly touched up her make-up before she left the apartment and walked to her bar. It had always been a favorite of hers and Rachel's because it was exactly halfway between their two apartments and it was in a relatively safe neighborhood, as far as New York City went that is. All the same she kept one hand on her cell phone and the other on her pepper spray the entire walk.

The bartender, Josh, smiled at her when he saw her walk into the bar. "Where's you partner in crime?" he asked her as she sat down in front of him and he started to pour her usual, a rum and coke. "It's been a while since I've seen one of you in here without the other."

"She got married tonight," Spencer said with a grateful smile as she took the drink from him. "So she's with the new husband getting ready to go on their honeymoon. I'm on my own tonight."

"And where are your boys?" Josh asked. "Mike and Sebastian, right? They come with you sometimes."

Spencer shrugged, "They might be at home. I don't know, kind of just felt like being on my own," she paused and glanced around the bar at the other people drinking, "without being alone, you know?"

"Sounds like boy problems," Josh said with a nod. "Don't worry Spencer, I'm sure you won't be on your own for long."

"I hope you're wrong," Spencer said, shaking her head. "Being alone is exactly what I want right now. Let me wallow in my own self pity. And please get me another one while you're at it," she added as she slid her now empty glass back at the man.

-.-.-.-.-

Not even ten minutes away Noah Puckerman was walking through Central Park with Becky. The blonde girl was talking about how gorgeous the city was at night and how much fun she had had that weekend, but Puck wasn't listening to her, he was too busy thinking about Spencer. Becky didn't give up though, "Think about it, Noah," she said as she looped her arm through Puck's. "This could be us every night next year. We could get an apartment together, get a dog. And every night when you get home from work we cold walk in Central Park. How romantic would that be? How great would it be to have that life?"

"It sounds perfect," Puck said with a nod, but he didn't sound as enthused about it as Becky was.

"But?" the blonde asked after a moment. Puck glanced down at her and raised his eyebrows, he hadn't said the word _but_. He briefly wondered if he had voiced his thoughts about Spencer. Becky sighed, "It sounds perfect, but it's with the wrong girl, right?" Puck was surprised by that, he quickly asked what she meant by that and the girl beside him sighed again. "I'm not blind, Noah Puckerman. And I'm not stupid, though my grades last year might have suggested otherwise." (They had met because she had needed Puck to tutor her in one of her math classes.) "I heard your friends whispering. I was there when they all cheered too loudly when you caught the garter. I saw the way you looked at her - not only when you were dancing, but the entire night. That Spencer girl is your ex. The one that screwed you up so badly when you first moved out to Austin. And you're still in love with her. Part of why you applied for a job with the firm out here was because of her." Noah shook his head and opened his mouth to say something about Beth, but Becky didn't know anything about Beth and she shook her head anyway. "Please don't insult me by trying to tell me I'm wrong," she said softly. "I have eyes, Noah. You've never looked at me the way you looked at her tonight. You've never looked at anyone like that."

Puck sighed, there was no point in arguing with her. Not only was the girl right, but she knew it. "I'm sorry Beck," he whispered, reaching out to hold her hand for a moment. "What do I do?"

"You go find her," Becky said, reaching into his coat pocket to pull out his cell phone. "She lives with your friend Mike, right?" Puck nodded. "Then text him and ask for his address. And go get her. She loves you too."

"What about you?" Puck asked, even as his fingers were flying across his phone keyboard, tapping out the message to Mike. "I can't just leave you here."

"You'll walk me to my sister's apartment before you go," Becky said with a shrug. "And we'll say a friendly goodbye there." They walked in silence to Becky's sorority sister's apartment and when they got there the blonde stood on her tip toes so that she could press a kiss onto Puck's cheek. "Good luck," she whispered. "And if it doesn't work out, look me up."

"Thank you," Puck whispered softly. Becky smiled at him before she turned around and entered the apartment. Puck didn't even wait for the door to close behind her before he pulled out his cell phone and read Mike's text in response to his question. _3056 51st st, Apt 3B. Tell the doorman Mikey Mike sent you. And go get your girl!_

It took him half an hour to get to the building and convince the doorman that Mike really had sent him to the apartment. He finally pulled out his phone and showed him the text message from Mike. The old man squinted at the phone as he read the text message, but a moment later his face split into a large grin. "You're here for Miss Spencer," he said with an approving nod. "Go on up. There are four apartments per floor. When you get off the elevator turn right. It'll be the only door on the left side of the hallway. I will have the front desk ring up to Mr. Smythe that you're on the way up."

Sebastian met Puck in front of the elevator. "You can come into the apartment and wait if you want. But she's not here. I bet she won't be back for a while." Puck shook his head, he didn't want to wait, he wanted to find Spencer now. He asked Sebastian where she was. Sebastian studied him for a moment before he nodded, "BB&R," he said. "She and Rachel have loved the bar since they first came here. Come on, that's where she'll be."

"BB&R?" Puck asked as he followed Sebastian back into the elevator he had just exited that. "That's a bar? Sounds more like a bed and breakfast."

"Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead," Sebastian said with a nod as he pressed the button for the lobby. "Still sound like a bed and breakfast?" Puck raised his eyebrows at the name, it was a strange name for a bar. Sebastian laughed, "So a blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar," he started, then he paused. "You make up your own punchline."

Puck nodded, "I like it," he said. "Pretty creative."

"Spencer thought so too," Sebastian said with a nod. "It was the first bar she went to after we all moved here. And she's loved it ever since."

It took them ten minutes to walk to the upscale sports bar in the Upper East Side. At first glance Puck was sure that Spencer wasn't at the bar, he couldn't see her anywhere. He reached out to grasp Sebastian's arm for a brief moment, just long enough to signal that he didn't think their girl was there, but Sebastian waved him off and walked toward the back of the bar. He stopped only once, to nod at the bartender and point further into the bar, the man nodded back and raised his eyes in surprise at Puck. Puck had a feeling the man knew Sebastian and that Sebastian probably didn't bring dates here that looked like him all that often.

Sebastian led him further toward the back of the bar where there was a room with several pool tables set up in it. This time Puck spotted her right away. She looked gorgeous. He had thought that the dress looked good on her, but the clothes she was wearing now really did her justice. She was playing pool against some guy who looked as though he was in his early to mid-twenties. Probably younger than Spencer though. She had a beer bottle pressed to her lips as he said something to her that Puck couldn't hear, but it must have been funny because Spencer threw her head back and laughed, her brown curls dancing on her back. Puck and Sebastian got closer to the pair in time to hear Spencer's response. "Well what can I say, I'm a New Yorker, we love black."

"Yeah," the boy said with a nod. "I can tell. You don't see a lot of black down in Charleston. It's too dark for us."

"Works well here," Spencer said as she put her beer down so that she could take her turn. "Hides all the city dirt. You'll learn."

She hadn't noticed the two men walking up behind her, but the boy she was talking to certainly had. He eyed them suspiciously, Sebastian was still wearing the suit that he had worn to the wedding, his tie, loosened. Puck had changed, he was wearing a pair of jeans and his leather jacket. The boy's eyes hesitated Puck's muscled arms before he glanced back at Sebastian. "Can I help you?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two men that were interrupting his conversation.

Spencer spun around in surprise and looked at the two men. "Bas?" she asked. "What are you doing here? And with him?" she added when she caught sight of Puck. She shook her head, a smile spreading across her face, "Never mind," she said as she turned back to the boy she had been talking to, "Sean, you don't know my roommate do you? This is Sebastian, he's my roommate. Better known as Sebastard though." The boy, Sean, nodded and shook Sebastian's hand before he held his hand out to Puck and asked him who he was. "Oh!" Spencer said with a nod. "This is Noa - Puck. This is Puck he's my," she paused, looking for the right way to describe Puck.

"Ex-boyfriend?" Sebastian suggested with a warning look at the boy standing next to Spencer. "Friend from high school? The boy you love?" Spencer quickly darted forward and stepped on Sebastian's foot, quickly shushing him before he could say anything else.

"He's my," she paused again. "He's just Puck."

Sean nodded, glancing between the three of them again before he took a step backward, "Well it was nice to meet you," he said with a nod in Spencer's direction. "All of you," he added, glancing at Sebastian and Puck. "But I think I had better go. Maybe I'll see you around." And then he was gone.

Spencer pouted after him for a moment before she turned back to Sebastian, "Boo," she said playfully before she pushed past the two boys and started to head back to the front of the bar. "He was fun, thought that I was a model." She turned to look at Sebastian, obviously ignoring Puck. "My bar tab says that you can't guess what I told him my name was in three," she said.

"Natasha?" Sebastian asked with a grin. Spencer shook her head with a smile. "Darcy?" Again, Spencer shook her head, her smile getting bigger. The ease with which Sebastian picked names and the familiarity between the two of them made Puck think that this was a game that they played on a regular basis. Sebastian thought about it for a moment before he snapped his fingers together, "Tiffani!"

Spencer laughed and shook her head, "No, not Tiffani! She's the flight attendant, remember? But she's fun. I should bring her back some day." She turned to the bartender and pointed at Sebastian before she walked to the front door. She turned back at the door, her blue eyes finding Puck. "Are you coming or not?" she asked him. Puck glanced at Sebastian silently wondering if he should go with the girl and Sebastian nodded at him.

"Wait!" Sebastian called just as they were about to go out the door. "What was the name?"

"Chantal!" Spencer called over her shoulder. "Chantal is the model. Natasha is the French lawyer. And Darcy is the starving British artist." Puck turned to look at Sebastian in time to see the boy curst to himself before the small brunette led him out of the bar.

"I take it you play this game a lot?" Puck asked as the two walked down the still busy New York street. "What's it all about?"

"It started when we first came to the city," Spencer said with a shrug. "Rachel read something on the internet about a rapist who met women in bars, learned their names, stalked them at work, and then raped them. She was seriously freaked out about it so she made me promise never to give a man at a bar my real name. It wasn't fun to just give out fake names so Bas used to bet me my bar tab that I couldn't create an entire alias: job, accent, apartment, etc. that was believable. We haven't played it in a while and I wondered if he had remembered. I had given him a huge hint with the model bit - Chantal was the only model." She was silent for a moment and Puck wasn't sure what he should say to her. He hadn't really thought about this - he had wanted to find her, but he hadn't thought about what he was going to say when he found her. Spencer sighed and stopped walking, "Yeah fuck you too!" she hissed at a man that swore at her for stopping on the sidewalk. She pulled Puck into a doorway of a store, "What are you doing here, Noah?" she asked.

"I wasn't going to miss Finn and Rachel's wedding," Puck said with a shrug. "I'm the best man. I couldn't miss it."

"Not here in New York City," Spencer said, rolling her eyes at him. "But here," she gestured to the street. "In my neighborhood. With my roommate. At my favorite bar? How did you and Sebastian meet up by the way? And where's your girl?"

"We're over," Puck said, his tone harsh. Spencer paused for a moment and Puck realized that she thought he was talking about her and him. "No," he said, shaking his head. "Me and Becky, we're done." Spencer frowned and started to say that she was sorry, but Puck cut her off, "Don't lie to me," he said, "you're not even remotely sorry." He glanced across the street, there was a small park. "Is that Central Park?" he asked.

Spencer shook her head and laughed as she grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him toward a crosswalk. "You have so much you have to learn if you want to live in the city, Puckerman," she said as they waited for the walk signal. "Why did you end things with Becky?" she asked.

"It wasn't right," Puck said with a shrug. "We weren't right. I knew it, she knew it. Hell, everyone knew it."

"And you and Sebastian were just having a single guys out night?" Spencer asked, trying to make sense of why Puck had been at her favorite bar with one of her roommates. "Odd choice of companion, Noah."

"We were looking for you actually," Puck said as the pair crossed the road. "Because when I was with Becky I had a revelation."

"Look at that everyone," Spencer said, clapping her hands together slowly, "college has taught the boy big words!"

"Shut up," Puck said with a grin as the two began to walk slowly around the park. "Do you want to know what my revelation was or are you going to keep making fun of me?"

"Oh I definitely want to know what it was," Spencer said with a nod. "Please share!"

Puck stopped walking and reached out to grab Spencer's upper arm so that he could make her stop walking too. "It's you," he said softly. "It's always been you." Spencer looked confused, her eyebrows flew up to her hairline and she looked as though she was about to argue with him. Puck steered her toward a park bench and the two sat down before he continued. "I loved you Spencer," he said quietly. "In high school. After high school. I loved you when you were breaking up with me. I swore that I was going to hate you when I got to Texas, but I couldn't. I tried to forget about you. I tried to date other people. Nothing worked, I still loved you. The wedding and our dance just made it more obvious."

"Noah," Spencer said softly, hesitantly. Puck was worried that she was going to tell him that she still didn't feel the same way and he held his hand up to silence her. He had to get this out or he'd never have the guts to say it again.

"You really hurt me, Spence," he said, his voice quiet. "When you broke up with me. It's been long enough that I know why you did it. I get that. I even forgive you for it. But it still hurt. Not because of what you said, but because of what you thought. You thought that it would be a waste of my time to stay in Lima, you were trying to help me live my life. But you never understood that you were my life. You were selfish, you had given up and you didn't want me around making you feel guilty for that decision. You took away my chance to be there for you like I had promised, you took away my chance to say goodbye to you. And worst of all you took away my chance to be there with you when you needed me most. I loved you and you just threw it all back in my face."

Spencer nodded and sniffed and for the first time Puck noticed that she was crying. He shook his head, he hadn't meant for her to cry. "I'm so sorry Noah," she whispered once she had gotten control of her voice again. "You're right. I was selfish. And what I did was wrong, but I couldn't think of anything else. I was trying to do what was best. I loved you too, and I didn't want to have to watch me break your heart when I got sicker and died. I thought it would be easier to break your heart and make you hate me by breaking up with you than to break your heart and die, letting you love me and miss me for the rest of your life. Those were the only two options I had at the time and I chose the one I thought was best."

Puck wanted to tell her that nothing could be considered the _best_ option if it mean that he wasn't with her when something else she had said caught his attention. "You loved me?" he asked, a smile spreading across his lips.

Spencer laughed and shook her head, "Of course that's what you pick up on," she said with a nod. "And don't act like you didn't know. I called my mom on my way home from the Hamptons and had her look through our attic for a dvd Sebastian had made of me playing the piano. It wasn't there. I'm not stupid."

Puck nodded, no point in hiding this from her. "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You." Spencer nodded. "Loved?" Puck asked, raising his eyebrows. "As in past tense?"

"No," Spencer said with a laugh as she shook her head. "Past tense, present tense, and future tense. I loved you, I love you, and I will love you."

Puck nodded at her and leaned closer to her so that he could press a kiss on her lips. He pulled away just far enough to talk, his lips still brushed against hers with every word. "I loved you. I love you. I will always love you too," he whispered before he closed the small distance between them again.

Spencer giggled when they pulled away. "That was easier than I imagined it would be," she whispered to him.

Puck shook his head, "Not too easy," he said. "You've got quite a few years in the dog house to make up for what you did to us, trouble."

"If that means I get more time with you, I'm happy to be in the dog house," Spencer said with a grin before she jumped off the bench and ran away from him, causing Puck to chase after her laughing as well.

When he caught her he wrapped his arms tightly around her small body, he wasn't about to let her go again. Spencer giggled at him before she stood on her tiptoes so that she could kiss his lips. "How much do you love me?" she asked him once she had pulled away.

Puck grinned at her and captured her lips in a kiss again, "Not enough if you have to ask."

Spencer grinned at him to, "Don't worry, Puckerman," she said with a nod. "It's enough. I should have realized that three years ago."

"Damn right you should have."

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<br>Woah. It's been a ride, huh?  
>But check that out! We got to the happy ending I promised you guys!<br>I don't know if I'm happy about the last chapter or not. Like I'm glad that Puck and Spencer got their happy ending, I loved them so much. But now it's like ... _I'm done with Noah and Spencer? But they're my babies!_ It's a problem.  
>I'm toying around with an epilogue. What do you guys think? Want one? Or is this a good ending?<br>**LET ME KNOW!  
><strong>Anyway, I love you guys so much! For those of you that have been with me since the beginning. **YOU ARE AMAZING**.  
>And that is all.<br>Love you guys.  
>Hugs and kisses,<br>Chloe Jane


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